She invited him inside, where the air was cool and whispery. “I'm surprised you came alone,” she said. “I usually get to meet the lucky girl.” Their footsteps were silent on the thick hall carpet, which was the color of eggshells.
“My daughter doesn't think the cake is important,” he said. “She told me she'd be happy with Pop-Tarts.”
“That's cute,” Kacy said, not meaning it.
“No, it isn't,” he said. “There are guests at a wedding, and they want cake. So dear old dad has to fly in and spend his weekend tasting cakes all over town.” He patted his forehead dry with a handkerchief. “Thing is, I haven't found one that I'd feed to my dog. Or my neighbor's dog, the one that keeps crapping on my azaleas. You're my last hope.”
“Good choice,” Kacy said. “I'm the best around, and I don't mind saying so.”
“I don't mind, either, as long as it's true,” he said.
In the dining room, seated at the long mahogany table, he explained that the wedding would be there in Austin, not in New York, because his daughter and her fiancé were grad students at U.T. and wanted to keep their own distractions to a minimum. “These kids,” he said, “they think the wedding's all about them.” Kacy liked his accent. His hard consonants could hammer in nails.
They looked at her portfolio, a leather-bound book filled with photos of her finest work: wedding cakes rippling with seas of perfect buttercream waves; a trio of
croquembouche
pyramids atop a sprawling expanse of chocolate; an abstract, sharp-angled sculpture in hazelnut
dacquoise
; buildings, logos, and faces all reproduced with perfect, sugary accuracy. “Most people want something simple and traditional for weddings,” she said, “and I'm happy to oblige, but when I'm allowed to be creative, I really shine.” She played up her twang.
Oblahge. Ah really shahn.
He pointed to a cake she'd made for the opening of a club at Second and Brazosâa replica of the building's interior, which was an unruly clash of I-beams, steel cables, and rebar. “Nice. That's
pastillage
, right? I never had much luck with
pastillage
.”
“You know your stuff.”
“I was a pastry chef once,” he said. “Before I got into wealth management.”
Kacy smiledânot her saleswoman's smile, but one that had risen out of her unsummoned. Here was someone who could appreciate her talent, unlike those Barbie-doll mothers and daughters who waved their Martha Stewart magazines in her face and demanded that she smother their cakes in poured fondant and gum-paste roses! She served him three samples: white genoise punched with amaretto and layered with strawberry cream, Kacy's Four Chocolate Delight, and spicy carrot cake. “The carrot cake is fresh,” she said. “The others have been frozen. I run a small operation. I can't keep fresh samples of everything.”
“Don't worry,” he said. “I know what freezing tastes like. I can account for it.”
Kacy settled into her chair and watched his little plum-shaped face as he ate. He chewed thoughtfully, silently, with his eyes closed. He tilted his head back and worked the taste over in his mouth, his eyelids fluttering in what she hoped was bliss. She sat with her hands in her lap, rubbing her knuckles, twisting her ring, and she waited for him to choose.
“Excellent,” he said, finally. “All of them. But this one's the winner.” He tapped a fork on the plate where the Four Chocolate Delight had been.
“It's my favorite, too.”
“Would you be willing to work with me on the design? I have some ideas.”
“Absolutely,” she said. “You're the customer.”
And they talked. They talked about the different shapes they'd woven from spun sugar. They talked about roulades and pistachio nougatines. They talked about how so much depends on the quality of your butter. Before he left, he asked if he could see her kitchen. “Someday,” he said, touching her arm, “I'm going to quit the money world and start a business like yours.” She covered his hand with hers and held it there, just long enough to suggest
there is something passing between us
. And if she was mistaken, so what? She was a saleswoman. Nothing wrong with a little flirtation to grease the pan of commerce, so to speak. Forty-two years old, and she could still catch a man's eye when she chose.
She led Dinaburg into the kitchen, which was all polished white and gleaming silver. Three years before, when she'd decided to go into business for herself, it had been built as an addition to the house, connected to the family kitchen by a set of pocket doors she could close when she needed to work in peace. She had watched as the new kitchen took shape, watched as the raw floor was tiled with perfect white hexagons, as cabinets were installed and industrial refrigerators were fitted into nooks, as ovens and cooling racks were wheeled in, as the last dusty boot print of a contractor was mopped away. The businessâKacy's Kitchenâtook off immediately. Some nights she'd stay up long after Roger and the kids had gone to bed, sitting at the small desk in the corner, planning her schedule and sketching designs until she drifted off to sleep, lost in the room's warm baritone hum.
“Hello,” Dinaburg said, looking away from the sixty-pound mixer he'd been admiring. “Who's this pretty young lady?” Kacy's sixteen-year-old daughter was standing in the doorway, a ring of car keys swinging from one pudgy, quick-bitten finger. She was wearing her new hat, a white cloche with a silk sunflower on the front. She peered into the kitchen, as if she weren't allowed to cross the threshold. Which she wasn't, of course, because of the hair situation. One stray hair in a cake could ruin Kacy's reputation.
“Mr. Dinaburg,” Kacy said, “meet my daughter, April.”
“That's a beautiful hat,” Dinaburg said.
April stared at her shoes, as if the compliment had come in a language she didn't know.
“What do you say, April?” Kacy prompted.
“My mom picked it out,” April said.
“
Thank you
would be a more ladylike response,” Kacy said.
April stuffed her hands into the pockets of her baggy jeans, which Kacy thought made her legs look like tree trunks. “I'm going out with Skillet,” she said.
Skillet
. Like some gap-toothed idiot popping out of a cornfield on
Hee Haw
. Dinaburg probably thought they were all a bunch of hicks. “His real name is William,” Kacy explained. She turned to tell April to be home for dinner, but her daughter was gone. For a big, clumsy girl, she could disappear quickly.
“Pretty soon you'll be making a cake for her big day,” Dinaburg said.
“Oh, we're not in any hurry,” Kacy said, with the carefully cultivated lightness she used whenever she talked about April. Frankly, with each bride she saw while assembling her cakes on-site, with each pink-cheeked young woman suffering radiantly through jangly nerves and sprayed-stiff Jackie O. hair, she found herself less and less sure that April would ever get married. All she did was mope, mope, mope. Only sixteen, and already her ankles were disappearing in fat. And, of course, the hair. Good Lord, the hair. “No,” Kacy said, “we don't want to push her.”
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After Dinaburg left for the airport, Kacy poured herself a glass of wine to celebrate. He'd told her he'd call as soon as he got the go-ahead from his wife. A January wedding at the Four Seasons. Five hundred guests, many of them wealthy and important: a software mogul from California; several congressmen; even Rudy Giuliani himself! It could be the break of a lifetime. She'd be called for jobs in New York, Washington, San Francisco. She'd have to hire employees. Down the road, if April matured a little and stopped with the hair strangeness, maybe they could even work together, mother and daughter.
She drank the wine in three large sips and allowed herself the luxury of stretching out on the couch and closing her eyes. The wine spread warmth inside her, and the central air purred and breathed cool air over her skin. Five minutes of peace. Then back to work: Marisol was coming to clean in the morning, and Kacy had to tidy up. She took the vacuum upstairs into April's bedroom. She opened the curtains, and golden afternoon sun lit the room. The pink walls were bareâno photos of friends, no posters of pop singers, no prints of horses, nothing. As if April were unwilling to let slip even the tiniest bit of information about who she was.
She pulled the bed away from the wall and looked behind the headboard. A layer of April's mouse-brown hair was spread over the baseboard molding and the carpet.
Goddamnit.
She'd expected this, but that didn't make it less of a disappointment. She kicked the vacuum on and watched the hair disappear into the nozzle as the motor whined. She cleaned it all upâevery strand, as far as she could tellâand pushed the bed back into place.
Kacy had discovered the hair behind the bed when April was eleven. She'd stared at it for minutes, trying to understand how it had gotten there. There was only one explanation, hard as it was to believe: her daughter would lie in bed and pull her hair out, over and over and over. The image sickened her. It was the kind of behavior you'd expect of a sick dog or a lab rat, not a healthy young girl. She'd cried, then, right there on April's bed. After a while she decided the best plan was to clean up the mess and keep mum. Her daughter wasn't a freak. Her daughter could work through problems on her own. And at least you couldn't see any bald spots.
Four years later, on the day of her mother's funeral, she noticed a patch of scalp in the center of April's head, just above the hairline, as obvious as a third eye. That night, she walked into the bathroom while April was brushing her teeth. She faced her daughter in the mirror, pointed to the bald spot, and said, “Do you want people to see this?” April stared at the reflection of the two of them while toothpaste foam leaked sadly from the corner of her mouth, until finally she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head no. The next day, Kacy bought four hats and left them on April's bed. She could cover herself up until the hair grew back. It would be their secret, and they'd get through it together, the way Kacy and her own mother had when Kacy was seventeen and got pregnant in the bed of Tommy Odom's truck. She and Mother went to the doctor together, took care of business, and never spoke about it again.
April's hair grew back, but new bald patches had appeared on her head in cycles: at her temple; at her pate; in a ragged circle at the back of her head; then at the temple again, after the hair had grown back in. Kacy was reminded of cattle moving from pasture to pasture, grazing each space barren before moving on. And Roger? He'd never seemed to notice, and for her money, if he couldn't be bothered to pay attention to how his daughter looked, then he didn't deserve to be part of the solution.
It's a stage
, Kacy reminded herself.
She'll grow out of it, and later, she'll be amazed that she ever did this to herself.
She went to close the curtains and paused at the window. A hummingbird darted between honeysuckle blossoms. Next door, Mr. Weeks, a bent and sun-scorched old man, was tending his tomatoes. Through the trees, a sliver of Town Lake sparkled in the sun. A world of whites and golds and greens where nothing was hopeless, where no cause was lost.
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Kacy was sitting on the living room sofa with her sketchbook open on her lap when Roger arrived home with Kenny, their five-year-old. Before she could ask Kenny how his T-ball game had gone, the boy spotted Mooch, the family beagle, screeched joyfully, and chased the dog down the hallway. It was a typical entrance for Kenny; ever since he'd learned to walk, the dog had of necessity developed quick reflexes and a streak of paranoia. Kacy listened to them run up the stairs, to the dog's collar jingling and Kenny's little feet pounding. Roger sat next to her and kissed her hello with sweat-salty lips. His skin was flushed, and he was breathing heavily.
“I thought the idea was to tire
him
out,” Kacy said.
“I did my best,” he said. “I'm no superhero.” He took off his Astros cap and ran his hand through his thinning, sweat-soaked hair. “He did well today. His swing is getting better. He actually hit the ball a few times.”
“But,” Kacy prompted. Kenny was a sweet kid, but there was usually a
but
.
“But he kept running to third base instead of first. I don't think he was confused. He just seemed to like running the wrong way.”
“That's not so bad.”
“Could be worse. The Poirier kid wet his pants in right field.”
There was a thud from upstairs. “Please tell me he didn't hit his head,” Kacy said. Little accidents were part of life with Kenny, a kid with so much love to give that he usually ran into things in his haste to give it.
Almost immediately, they heard him start running again. “He's fine,” Roger said. “Remind me to check the wall, though.”
“I made a sale today,” she said. “A big one.” She told him about Dinaburg and the lavish wedding.
“He's from New York?” Roger said. “Charge him double. He won't notice.”
“I love it when you act ruthless,” Kacy said. Of course, if he actually were ruthless, he'd have made partner last year. Instead he'd been told he'd remain
of counsel
, which translated to
Don't get your hopes up
. Since then the wrinkles around his eyes had deepened, and his cheeks had begun to sag into premature jowls. He had a disappointing tendency to let his setbacks eat him up. That was life, though: people disappoint you, so you'd better be able to take care of yourself.
Kenny came into the room with Mooch padding along behind him. The dog turned in circles before choosing a place on the rug to lie down. Kenny did the same, and they curled up together. “I hit the ball today,” Kenny said.