The Suicide Princess (10 page)

“You look amazing,” Jacob said while struggling for words. “What do you want to do tonight dressed like that?

Stephanie said in her flirtatious voice, “Well, last night we just went to dinner and a show. Tonight, let's go
do something fun. I have the perfect idea.”

Stephanie and Jacob took a cab to the Palms Hotel, and they walked straight to the entrance for the chic nightclub Ghost
Bar. As they got closer, they saw an enormous line of other party-goers waiting to get in. Jacob asked an employee how long the wait was, and they were told approximately three hours.

“Holy shit, Steph.
I'm not waiting three hours in line.”

“Neither am I, wait here,” Stephanie said before walking away.

Jacob watched as Stephanie went to a nearby ATM machine and dug into her tiny clutch purse. She conducted a transaction at the machine then returned to Jacob, grabbing his hand. “Come on, follow me,” she said.

Stephanie walked up to one of the club's doormen
, an extremely large man with a clipboard and a microphone earpiece in his ear, and she took hold of his hand. As she released his hand, Jacob saw him quickly slide something from her hand, and he slid what Stephanie passed him into his pocket. Stephanie waved Jacob over and said, “He's letting us cut the line, honey.”

The doorman undid a velvet rope, allowing the couple to pass. Stephanie and Jacob heard those in the front of the line complaining as they passed towards the elevator. “Have a great evening,” said the doorman as the elevator doors closed.

The elevator climbed to the nightclub located on the 55
th
floor. As they climbed higher and higher, Jacob asked, “What the hell did you say to that guy?”

“I just asked if we could cut the line,” Stephanie said with a smile.

“And why did he let us?”

Just as the elevator reached its floor and the doors opened, Stephanie said, “
because I gave him a hundred dollars.”

Stephanie walked out of the elevator before Jacob could reply, and the two walked into the club. It
was an impressive lounge-style atmosphere with pulsating blue/green lighting, a large bar to the right, several VIP tables behind a roped off area, and a large balcony jetting from the side of the building. The amazing views of the city from fifty-five stories were rivaled only by the views provided by the array of beautiful people in the club.

Jacob found an open table, and the two sat down.
Stephanie didn't waste any time and started ordering cocktails to make her night as fun as possible. Jacob wasn't much of a drinker, and he only ordered one drink which he nursed all night. Stephanie, on the other hand, was feeling her inhibitions melt away as she finished her third drink in less than an hour.

“I want to dance,” Stephanie said into Jacob's ear.

“You know I hate dancing, Steph.”

Stephanie leaned back towards Jacob's ear and replied, “I know you do. I didn't say I want to dance with you; I want to dance
for
you.”

Stephanie stood in her tall heels, and she positioned herself in front of Jacob. She began dancing seductively for Jacob, but he seemed more embarrassed by Stephanie than enticed. She leaned in to his ear again and said, “Relax. We don't know anyone here, and we'll never see any of these people again. Just watch me and enjoy.”

Stephanie continued dancing, running her fingers through her hair, and occasionally pulling on her dress to reveal the lace tops of her stockings. Each time her dress would rise, Jacob would quickly reach to pull it down. Stephanie then stepped back, slightly out of his reach, and pulled her dress slightly higher with one hand while wagging her finger with the other, as if to say, “No, no, no.”

Stephanie stepped back in toward Jacob and extended her hand towards him. He reached his hand out to Stephanie thinking she wanted to hold it. Instead, she placed his hand on the inside of her thigh, just below her skirt, and she gently pulled on his wrist to guide his hand up. Jacob pulled his hand away, and said, “Okay, I think someone's had enough to drink.”

What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
Stephanie screamed in her head, but the only words to pass her lips were, “Forget it, I just want to go.”

A quiet cab ride was followed by a completely uneventful night in their hotel room. Stephanie
laid awake in bed, and she heard Jacob begin breathing much deeper, indicating he had fallen asleep. Stephanie deeply wondered what had happened to their marriage. They had no fun together anymore, and they seemed to be growing apart from one another at a frightening pace. Most upsetting to Stephanie was that the weekend passed and her husband didn't have sex with her one single time.
What is happening to us?
she wondered.
What am I doing wrong?

***

Back at work on Monday, Karen saw Stephanie walking out for lunch. Karen called out, “Hey, Stephanie! Wait for me!”

Stephanie stopped walking just long enough to tell Karen she wanted to be alone, and she was going for a walk.

“Are you alright?” Karen asked.

“I'm fine,
hun. I just really want to be alone right now.”

“Can I please come? I'm really worried about you,” said Karen.

Stephanie answered, “I promise, we can talk soon. We can grab a drink after work one night, but for right now, I'm just not in the mood to talk.”

Karen watched from the sidelines as Stephanie did a complete one-eighty from when she was seeing Derrick. Stephanie stopped wearing makeup again, she put minimal effort into her appearance, and worst of all,
her work was slipping. Stephanie, who was once meticulous to detail in every aspect of her life, was now letting everything go. She was falling to pieces.

Three weeks after Stephanie last saw Derrick, Karen finally cornered her into having lunch together. They were talking over their usual meal at the pizzeria when Karen asked, “How have things been with you and Jacob since you stopped seeing lover boy?”

“Things have been the same,” Stephanie sa
id with a hint of sadness. “But I guess that's a good thing. I don't know.”

“Do you miss him?” Karen asked. “Do you miss Derrick?”

“So much,” Stephanie said without a moment's hesitation. “I think about Derrick almost every minute of every day. I feel like I'm dying without him.”

“So why did you stop talking to him?”

“I had to, Karen. I was so afraid I was going to fall for him, and I did. If it was just sex, that would have been one thing, but Derrick was starting to become the person I wanted to go to every day. I was starting to love him. I do love him.”

“And that's a bad thing why?” Karen asked as she chewed her chicken sandwich.

“Because I'm married; that's why.”

“I'm just saying
, I don't understand why you walked away when you liked this guy so much.”

Stephanie, looking perplexed, asked “Aren't you the same one who told me to stay away from him, to be careful, don't let it go too far, blah, blah
, blah? It was going too far, way too far, and I had to stop it.”

“Stephanie, I'm your friend. I'd never judge you or question you, and I'll always look out for you. In the beginning, yes, I thought this was a very bad idea. But something happened – when you were seeing Derrick, you were happy. You wore makeup, you did your hair pretty, you actually smiled. I saw a whole new you. Now that you've walked away from that, you're different.”

“How am I different?” Stephanie asked, half expecting the answer to come.

“You're miserable, sweetie. I hate saying that, but it's true. You have been just absolutely miserable lately.”

“I know,” said Stephanie while choking back tears. “I miss Derrick, and the more I miss Derrick, the less I want to be with Jacob. Every time I look at Jacob, I just think that if I wasn't with him, I'd be with Derrick. I feel like my husband is stopping me from being with the one I want to love. Do you know how shitty that feels?”

Karen listened silently until Stephanie began to cry hysterically while forcing “I don't know what to do” through her tears.

“Holy shit, I can't believe I'm about to say this,” Karen said while taking a deep breath. “Maybe you need to see where this is going to go with this guy.”

“What?” Stephanie asked with disbelief.

“If this guy makes you so happy, this happy, maybe he's the right one for you. Maybe you've just been with Jacob for so long, you feel comfortable with him, but he's really not the one. The rest of your life is probably going to be a very long time, Stephanie, and it might be Derrick that's going to make you the happiest and not Jacob.”

“I just don't know,” Stephanie said while continuing to cry.

“You just completely wrote him off, and all I'm saying is that maybe that wasn't the best idea. Just think about it. Maybe you need to see where it's going to go with Derrick, or at least where it could go, before you decide anything.” Realizing Stephanie was emotionally overwhelmed by the conversation, Karen quickly said, “But enough about that; we need to go back to work in a few minutes, and you can't go in looking like this.”

Karen took Stephanie to the ladies room to help Stephanie fix herself. The two went back to work, and Stephanie tried her best to concentrate on her case. She had a motion-to-suppress-evidence hearing the following day, but the hearing was the last thing on Stephanie's mind. She used the
Internet on her work computer to log into her mobile phone account. After a few clicks and scrolling through a few pages of her monthly statement, Stephanie saw Derrick's number.

Stephanie messaged Derrick,
“I'm 99% sure I completely blew it, but I miss you.”
A moment later she followed with,
“Your bad girl misses you.”

Derrick messaged back,
“I miss you, too, but you walked away from me. I don't know if I can forgive that. I want to, but I don't know if I can.”

“I won't walk away again. I don't know how I can make all of this work, but I'll figure something out. I promise I will.”

After a few minutes without a response, Stephanie messaged again,
“I'll do anything to prove how sorry I am. Anything.”

“Anything?”
Derrick asked.
“I'm going to have to punish you for me to even consider forgiving you.”

“Anything,”
Stephanie typed. She continued,
“Any time, any place, and anything. I know I deserve to be punished.”

“And you know what I'll want.”

“There are a few things that I think you'll want, and you can have all of them,”
Stephanie offered.
“No matter what my punishment is, I'll take it.”

“I want you to tell me the one thing you know I'm going to want,”
Derrick instructed.

Stephanie took a deep breath, and she replied,
“You're going to want anal.”

“And what about it?”
Derrick asked.

“You can
have it -- no limits,”
replied Stephanie.

“Tonight,”
Derrick instructed.

“Derrick, I can't tonight. I have to work late to prepare for a hearing, and Jacob isn't away. He's home.”

“Forget it then,”
Derrick coldly replied.
“You had your chance.”

“No, no, no, Derrick. I said any time, so yes, even tonight.”

Derrick instructed Stephanie to meet him at the coffee shop at six o'clock. Stephanie stared at her day planner which showed she had a five o'clock meeting in the conference room with Bill Webber and the other attorneys assisting her on the Paul Hutchinson case. Her glance shifted between her planner and the message with Derrick before she responded,

“I'll be there.”

Stephanie left work just before five o'clock without anyone noticing, and she turned off her cell phone to avoid the calls which were destined to begin once it was obvious she wasn't coming to her meeting. By six o'clock, she was walking with Derrick through the lobby of his apartment building.

As Stephanie and Derrick walked from the elevator to his apartment, Stephanie noticed Derrick was quite different than before. He was not his usual joking, flirty self, and he was barely
even talking to her. There was no hand-holding, no welcoming kiss, and the tension was building with each passing second. Stephanie and Derrick walked into his apartment, and Derrick went directly to the kitchen area.

“Come here,” Derrick said as he pulled a glass from the overhead cabinet.

Derrick opened a drawer and removed a brown prescription bottle from which he dropped two pills to the counter. He used the bottom of the glass to crush the pills into a fine powder against the cool granite counter top. Derrick brought the rim of the glass to the edge of the counter, wiped the now-powered pills into the glass, and he began to pour scotch into the glass. Once an ounce of alcohol was in the glass, he handed the glass to Stephanie.

“Here, you're going to want to drink this,” Derrick said with a matter-of-fact tone.

Stephanie held the glass, just watching the powder dissolve into the concoction. “I don't want to drink this.”

“Drink it or not, I don't care. But trust
me, you're going to wish you had.”

Stephanie desperately looked at Derrick and said, “You don't need to punish me, Derrick. I know it was stupid walking away, and I'm never doing it again.”

Derrick, becoming visibly angry, said, “No, I do need to. I think you know by now, I'm not the kind of guy that gets walked on and then invites the person back for more. With me, you walk away once and you're done. I'm going against my own rule, and the only way I can feel okay about it is with this. So, if you want me to be able to forgive you and move past it, then yes, I need to punish you.”

Stephanie, wanting so badly not to upset or disappoint Derrick, sheepishly said, “You're right. I deserve this,” as she brought the glass to her lips.

“Why did you crush them?” Stephanie asked as she drank the last drop.

“They'll get into your system faster, and you'll feel it much better.”

Stephanie placed the glass on the counter and apologetically said, “I'm sorry I'm not wearing something better for tonight, but I wasn't expecting this.”

Derrick said, “It's okay, I don't want you wearing anything at all for this. In fact, take your clothes off now.”

“Right here?” Stephanie asked.

“Right here.”

Derrick watched as Stephanie began to undress in his kitchen. She unzipped her skirt which then fell effortlessly to the floor. She pulled her top over her head, and she stood in her underwear, nylons, bra, and heels.

“Leave my shoes on?” she asked.

“Not tonight.”

The sensation and feeling of the situation was not in the least bit sensual for Stephanie, and stripping for Derrick like this felt more degrading than erotic. “Can I finish undressing in the bedroom?” she asked. “Please?”

“No, finish right here.”

Without giving a verbal response, Stephanie unclasped her bra and slid it down her arms, revealing her breasts. The cold temperature of the room had her nipples firmly erect. She slipped her feet from her heels, and she bent forward as she slid her nylons and panties down her legs and to the floor in a single motion.

Derrick began walking to the bedroom and said, “Follow me.”

Stephanie began
following Derrick, walking behind him, when he looked back and said, “Don't walk. Crawl.”

“On my hands and knees?”
She shyly asked.

Derrick grabbed Stephanie by the hair, and he pulled her toward the ground. She didn't resist in the slightest, and she immediately went to her hands and knees. Derrick's right hand pulled back and belted forward with an explosive slap on Stephanie's ass. The crack echoed through the open apartment as Stephanie yelped in pain.

“And bring your nylons with you,” said Derrick. We’re going to need those at some point.”

Derrick then walked to the bedroom as Stephanie crawled behind him. Once in the bedroom, Stephanie remained on her hands and knees and said, “I'm sorry I didn't crawl the first time you told me to. I don't want to be punished
again, I'll do whatever you say.”

“Is that how you think this is going to work tonight?” Derrick asked. “This isn't like last time. Tonight, you're being punished no matter what.
There’s no getting around that.”

Derrick grabbed Stephanie by the hair and pulled her to a standing position. He turned her toward the bed and bent her forward so her
bare feet were on the cold floor, the front of her legs were against the side of the bed, and her stomach was flat on the mattress. Once again, Derrick's hand reared back and delivered another slap on Stephanie's ass. Derrick repeated this several times as his hand alternated between slapping her left and right ass cheeks. Stephanie's bottom began to glow bright red as she cried out, “Derrick, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, baby, I'm sorry.”

“Stand up and turn around,” Derrick ordered, with Stephanie instantly obeying. “Go down on your knees.”

Stephanie dropped to her knees, and began to prepare herself for what was certain to come. She remembered the last time she was in this position with Derrick and how rough he was. This time, however, Derrick was upset, and Stephanie was uneasy about what she knew he was about to do.

Within moments, Stephanie had Derrick's hard cock in her mouth, and she was stroking and sucking to the very best she could.
Her tongue swirled as she rode her lips up and down his hard, throbbing dick. Stephanie imagined that if she could make it feel incredible for Derrick, he would not take over, but her plan soon withered.

Derrick ran his fingers through Stephanie's hair, until the palm of his hand was against the back of her head. He instructed her to remove her hand, and he began to enter deeper and deeper into her mouth
, pulling her head in as he went. Stephanie struggled not to gag as the tip of his cock entered her throat, and Derrick began to pump his cock in and out.

Stephanie reach
ed her hands up to push on Derrick's thighs. Derrick quickly barked, “Put your hands behind your back,” and Stephanie grabbed one wrist with her opposite hand behind her back, doing exactly as she was told.

Derrick fucked Stephanie's throat until he quickly pulled his cock from her mouth. He pulled her head in, guiding her lips towards his balls, and Stephanie knew exactly what Derrick wanted. Her tongue licked and caressed every square millimeter of Derrick's balls as her hand reached up and stroked his cock. Derrick switched
, back and forth, between deep-throating Stephanie and having her lick his balls.

Stephanie gasped for breath each time he pulled his cock from her mouth, and her eyes began to water. Derrick eventually
grabbed his cock and began wiping it across Stephanie’s lips and slapping her face with it, an act that made her want to suck him even more.