The Stud (12 page)

"A miscarriage at this stage is a period. I won't even know I was pregnant"

"What if you are, and you start getting morning sickness?"

"I won't. Morning sickness doesn't start until the fifth or sixth week at the earliest. If anything, this is the best time to go. If I'm here, I'll be looking at the calendar every day. If I'm there, I'll be distracted. The time will go faster. " She took her eyes from the road long enough to see the doubt on his face. "Really, Spencer. It's not like I'm going there to party. Between the length of the flight and the fact that this trip is strictly business, I'll be getting plenty of sleep. "

"Will
you sleep on the flight?" he asked in such a way that she was momentarily shaken. She hadn't thought he would put two and two together where her emotions were concerned, but his tone was knowing enough to suggest just that.

She kept her eyes peeled for the airport turnoff. "I always sleep on airplanes. That's the only way I can make it through the flight. Actually, I've flown enough since my parents died to be over the worst of the fear. The statistics are in my favor. And Mom and Dad went down in a small, private plane, while I only fly in the largest commercial jets to be found. "

"You'd love my plane, " Spencer said tongue-in-cheek, and looked out the window again.

Jenna wouldn't step foot in his plane for all the tea in China, but that didn't mean she begrudged Spencer flying it. She could understand the convenience, even the pleasure. She could also understand that a person might feel more in command with his own hands at the controls, than with a stranger in charge. Personally, she wanted size and bulk around her. It might be a delusion, but she felt safer that way. She could also, with a determined stretch of the imagination, pretend she was simply sitting in a cabin-shaped transport moving along the ground from point A to point B.

Feeling a gnawing in the pit of her stomach that she was sure came from the dozens of small planes in sight, she pulled up at Hangar C, turned off the engine and launched into the speech she'd been preparing since dawn. "Thank you, Spencer. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for what you've done. You made the time to be here, when you had a pile of your own work to do, and I appreciate that. You were considerate and gentle. You made me feel less embarrassed than I might have. You were wonderful. "

Slowly he turned to her, eyes piercing, jaw set. The look was intimidating. She wasn't sure what he was so angry about.

"I mean all that, " she insisted.

"I'm sure you do. "

"With any luck, I won't have to bother you again. I've already signed papers to the effect that I won't ask you for anything when it comes to this child. My lawyer has them. I'll have him send them to you by courier if that would make you feel better. "

Spencer pushed the door open and climbed out. "What would make me feel better, " he grumbled as he reached for his gear, "would be for you to stop thanking me as though I had just delivered a rush order of panty hose in time for your summer sale. " He was leaning into the car, his eyes level with hers and narrowed. "What you and I did was fun. It was stimulating and satisfying. It was a nice diversion from my work. " His voice sharpened. "And don't bother with a courier. I know where the papers are. When I need them, I'll get them. " He straightened and slammed the door. Then he swung his duffel over his shoulder and walked off.

Jenna's eyes grew glassy. She blinked once, then again. She took a deep, shaky breath and let it out with a sigh, but she didn't move. She sat in the car until she saw Spencer come out of the hangar and approach one of the planes. It looked old and more battered than the rest. But his step didn't falter. He opened the door and threw his gear ahead of him before he climbed in. She saw him moving around the cockpit, then settling in behind the controls. After what seemed an eternity, the propellers started turning slowly, then faster. When they were little more than a round blur, the plane turned and headed away from the terminal. It advanced to the runway and paused. After a bit, it started forward again, gaining speed this time until, with a small bounce that made her gasp, it left the ground. She watched it gain altitude, watched it put distance between itself and her, watched until it was nothing but a speck in the sky.

Only then, with a vow to look nowhere but forward, did she start the car and head for work.

Chapter 7

In fact, Jenna had grilled her doctor long and hard about the wisdom of going to Hong Kong. The trip had been planned six months earlier, when she hadn't known she'd be trying to make a baby. Knowing it now, she had been as skeptical as Spencer. But the doctor was right. If she was going to conceive that month, she would have conceived before takeoff. She would be flying first class, staying in a luxury hotel, eating in fine restaurants, taking taxis wherever she went. Anything that might happen under those conditions could just as easily happen at home, and for her peace of mind alone, she was better off busy than idle.

So, one week after Spencer flew south, she flew west, then west again, and to some extent she succeeded in not dwelling on whether there was a baby or not. From breakfast through dinner each day, she followed a comfortably busy schedule. Before breakfast, she prepared herself for those meetings; after dinner, she analyzed them. She only thought about the baby at night, when she was in bed awaiting sleep, and for the most part she was hopeful. During those times of doubt when she wished she had stayed home, where things were less eventful, she thought of the millions of unplanned pregnancies each year, of the women who went about their lives without realizing anything was amiss, who did things that were active, rigorous, even dangerous without losing their babies, and she was encouraged. Yes, she was active, but no more so than usual, and she didn't do anything that could even remotely be considered rigorous or dangerous.

Every morning, she took her temperature. From a low at the time of ovulation, it had risen to normal and was hovering there, which meant either that she would be getting her period or missing it.

She got it Seven days into the trip, with three days to go before she flew home, she woke in the morning with proof that there wouldn't be a baby in April. The first thing she did was to burst into tears, but they didn't last long. She was too levelheaded to wallow in self-pity. After all, she and Spencer had only made love twice. Some couples tried for years before they succeeded. Hadn't her own doctor said it might take time? Hadn't he said she shouldn't be discouraged if she didn't immediately conceive?

They would try again. It was as simple as that.

Assuming Spencer was willing.

That thought haunted her through the final days of her trip. She found herself thinking about it not only at night, but when she was with other people, at meals and meetings. Spencer had been annoyed with her when he'd left. She assumed he had been feeling antsy after being stuck at her house for three full days. Granted he'd had to work on his book and probably would have been restless wherever he was, but he was at
her
house with
her,
so she took his restlessness personally.

He said he liked the sex. She wasn't sure she believed him, though she desperately wanted to. Sure, he climaxed, but for all she knew he was thinking of another woman when he did. It would be just like him to try to make her feel good. On the other hand, he had snapped when she'd mentioned the papers she'd signed, which told her that regardless of who was in his mind at the time, he liked the sex part more than the baby part.

Had the sex been good enough to bring him back for another round? It had been for her, good enough— terrific enoughs—for her to feel more than a shimmer of excitement at the thought of being with him again, but what did
she
know. Spencer was the most skilled man she'd ever been with. She seriously doubted the reverse was true, and if that was so, he had possibly moved on to another woman already.

She wanted him back. She wanted that baby. He was the only one who would do.

By the time she returned to Little Compton, she was dead tired. Ironically, that wouldn't have been so if she'd been pregnant. But between worrying about Spencer's reaction when she gave him the news, wondering about his willingness to try again and coping with her period, which took a toll on her strength in the best of times, she was washed out. Without bothering to phone either the office or her answering service, she went straight to bed. That was at five in the afternoon. By the time she got out of bed at nine the next morning, feeling far, far better than when she'd crawled in, she knew she owed Spencer an immediate call.

He wasn't home. Her answering service told her that he had tried her the day before. Her secretary at the office said the same thing. She tried him again, every hour on the hour, and with each unanswered call, she conjured up more disturbing reasons for his absence. All involved women.

Finally, at three that afternoon, he picked up the phone. Even before she spoke, he sounded hassled. "Yeah?"

"Spencer?"

There was a pause, then a tentative, "Is that you, Jenna?"

"Uh-huh. "

"For
God's
sake, where have you been?" he thundered. "I thought you were due back yesterday. Did you decide you wanted an extra day in San Francisco, when you knew I was waiting to hear from you? That was a damned inconsiderate thing to do. There are phones in San Francisco. You could have called me from there. " With barely a breath, he asked, "So are you, or aren't you?"

"I'm not, " she said immediately. Clearly he was impatient to know if she was pregnant, though she didn't know whether he wanted her to be or not.

"You got your period?" His tone was calmer, but it gave nothing away.

"Right on time. "

He was still for a minute. "Were you disappointed?"

"Very!" She thought that would be obvious. "I wanted the baby. And I didn't want to have to ask you to come up here again. I felt badly enough doing it the first time. "

Cavalierly he said, "It wasn't any problem. I got the work done on my book, and I got my book to New York. "

She wrapped the telephone cord around her hand. "Well, I'm glad of that, at least. " She didn't know what else to say.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"A little jet-lagged, but one more night will fix that. Spencer, I didn't hang around San Francisco for an extra day. I had a two-hour layover at the airport and was on the first plane back here. By the time I got home, I was so tired I couldn't keep my head up. "

"See? You shouldn't have gone in the first place. It was an exhausting trip. "

"I felt great until I got my period, " she said, but she didn't see the point of elaborating, so she turned the tables. "Besides, I've been trying to call you all day. If you were so anxious to hear from me, you should have stuck around. "

He suddenly sounded tired himself. "I've been with my lawyers all day. The court is still holding us up on these exploration rights, and time's running out. We've been trying to negotiate a compromise settlement with the other party, but so far it's a no-go. "

"He won't give in at all?"

"Oh, he'll give in, but not as much as I need him to, to make it worth my time and effort to do the salvaging. "

"What happens now?"

He sighed. "We wait for the court to reach a decision. "

"How much time do you have?"

"Before hurricane season sets in? A few weeks. Even if the court was to hand down its decision tomorrow, we wouldn't have much time. I guess I'll be waiting until November to begin. "

"What will you do in the meantime?" she asked. She was thinking that if he had time on his hands, he wouldn't mind making another trip north.

"I'll do research. Maybe fly down to the Yucatan and see what's happening there, or visit friends in Michigan. I don't know. It's frustrating. "

Since she didn't think she'd have a better opening, she took a breath and forged ahead. "Would you— do you think you'd be vailing to come up here again?"

"You mean, to try for the baby? Sure. I told you I'd help you. "

So easy! She felt a weight lift from her heart. "Ahh. I was worried you'd had enough the first time. "

"I made a commitment. I'll see it through—not that I've had a change of heart about wanting a kid of mine running around, but if there has to be one, I'd rather have it be yours than someone else's. "

Jenna felt a thickening in her throat. It was a minute before she was able to produce sound, and then it was a soft "Thank you. Thank you, Spencer. You'll never be sorry, I promise you that This baby will be the most special, special child in the world. "

"That could be good or bad. For the time being, why don't we concentrate on getting it conceived. When should I fly up?"

"Uh, ten days, I think. "

"You
think?"
He clucked his tongue and said in a teasing tone, "You're slipping, Jenna. Usually you know exactly when, why and for how long. "

She felt instantly sheepish. "I know, but I haven't been thinking beyond getting you to agree to try again. If you want to hold on, I'll get my calendar. "

"No need to do that now. I'll call you in a few days. "

"But you'll want to make plans. "

"Yeah, so I don't have a conflict with all the high action that's taking place here. "

He was being facetious, of course. She could hear that along with a note of disgust in his voice, and it occurred to her that a diversionary trip back to Rhode Island might be just what he needed to relieve the tedium of waiting for the court's decision on the salvage rights to his galleon.

"By the way, " he said, "how was Hong Kong?"

"It was great, really. Our meetings went well, and the tours were interesting. We visited several factories that we're not using now but may be able to use next year. Our lawyers will start negotiating come fall. "

"Will you have go back there then?"

"No. I'll make another visit in the spring. "

"What if you're pregnant by then?"