The Stranger's Woes (42 page)

“Well, we really don’t need all of them. And we’re not going to flush any paperwork down the toilet. We’ll give it to you, instead, and you may deal with it however you deem appropriate, including flushing it down the toilet. How about tomorrow or the day after? Would you mind?”

“Mind! How can I say no to a man who brought me such a precious gift and . . . and . . .” Boboota stopped short and fell silent, confused.

And wears a Mantle of Death and spits venom whenever he sees fit, I thought. I thanked him and got up to leave.

“Sir Max, with your gift you have just patched a large hole in my life,” said Boboota. He finally managed to find words that could express his feelings.

Now that’s what I call a metaphor, I thought approvingly.

Melifaro hadn’t returned to the office yet. Lookfi Pence had already left for the Main Archive, his place of duty. Lonli-Lokli was contemplating the runic ornaments on his protective gloves. Melamori and Juffin were whispering to each other.

“So, what did Boboota say? Did he try to object?” said Juffin.

“I don’t think he’d object even if I took a dump right on his table,” I said.

“Really? Of all the miracles you’ve been so quick to pick up, this is the most unfathomable. You’ve outdone me, Max. I tip my hat to you.”

“You just don’t have any common interests that would call for heart-to-heart talks,” I said with a smile. “The poor guy is longing for a sophisticated interlocutor, an expert in outhouses.”

Melamori smiled absentmindedly, staring off in the distance, then got up from her chair and left without saying a word. I couldn’t quite figure out whether Juffin had just entrusted her with an important task, or whether she just wanted to go for a walk. That was very much like her.

Melifaro, his emerald-green looxi flashing, rushed into the Hall of Common Labor with a dozen policemen trailing behind him. I knew some of them, but others looked unfamiliar to me.

“Here he is, boys, the monster you’ve heard so much about,” said Melifaro pointing his finger at me. “Sir Juffin, here’s our entire White List for you. And Sir Chekta Jax to boot.”

A short, brawny, gloomy-looking fellow frowned at Melifaro but didn’t say a word.

“Don’t pay any attention to him, Chekta. Unfortunately, this is not the first time we’ve had to deal with Sir Melifaro. It’s time you got used to him,” said a cold female voice.

I examined the voice’s owner, a pretty, gray-eyed lady. She was tall—almost as tall as me—with a body shaped according to the canons of beauty of Ancient Greece. She had an air of grace and refinement about her.

The owner of the ice-cold voice noticed me looking at her, covered her eyes with her hand, and said, “I see you as in a waking dream. I’m glad to speak my name: I am Lady Kekki Tuotli.”

She seemed to have more of an air of high society about her than the king himself (who, I thought, was a very down-to-earth fellow). I immediately assumed a serious expression and greeted her according to custom, cleverly balancing smiles and the appropriate intonations. I had to atone for the sins of that dunce Melifaro.

Lady Kekki Tuotli listened to me patiently, gave me a dry nod, and turned away haughtily. What a shrew, I thought, taken aback. Then it dawned on me that the poor thing was simply very, very shy. That’s how it is with some people: the shyer they are, the more arrogantly they behave to disguise it. It was amusing, so I sent her a silent call.

Don’t worry
,
my lady
.
I’m also very shy among strangers
.
And take it easy on Melifaro
.
The world wouldn’t be the same without him
.

She looked at me in surprise and grinned slightly. I sighed with relief. I hate working in a strained environment.

“I’m also glad to speak my name: I am Lieutenant Apurra Blookey.” A dapper middle-aged gentleman in a bright looxi looked at me with poorly concealed curiosity. “Lady Tuotli and I have been meaning to come by and meet you, but—”

“But you have a great deal of work to do,” I helped him finish his thought.

“We do, indeed,” said the lieutenant readily.

“Okay, boys, let’s consider this the end of the official introductions and get down to business,” said Juffin.

“How do you mean ‘the end’?” said Melifaro. “What about synchronized bowing to the ‘mighty buriwok’?”

“Later,” said Juffin. “By the way, how come you’re still here and not at the Customs?”

“At the Customs?” said Melifaro. “What am I supposed to be doing there?”

“You’re not too quick today, I guess. That ‘filthy Mudlax’—a hole in the heavens above his home—came to Echo seventeen years ago, right? I’m sure they would have remembered him passing through. One can hardly forget an event like that. Afterward, send a call to Melamori. Maybe she can pick up his trace there. Beats hanging out here doing nothing.”

“Got it,” said Melifaro. “I’ll sniff out whatever I can and then call Melamori. I’ll be back in no time.”

“That’s for sure,” said Juffin and smiled. Then he turned to the policemen. “Now, while Sir Melifaro is drowning himself with Jubatic Juice in the company of Sir Nulli Karif and the ghost of old Tyoovin, we can
finally
get down to business.”

Thirty minutes later, after the briefing, the policemen went to the Main Archive. When they returned, each of them was carrying a buriwok. It seemed that the birds were puzzled: On the one hand, they were burning with curiosity. On the other hand, these feathery little beasts are not too keen on changing their habits all of a sudden. Most of them hadn’t left the cozy vaults of the Main Archive for more than a hundred years.

“And don’t forget, gentlemen: at dusk all the buriwoks must be back here along with their companions,” said Lookfi Pence, “or they will refuse to work with you tomorrow.”

“There’s not a whole lot of time before dusk, so consider today’s stroll to be a rehearsal,” said Juffin. “But if someone meets a man from Arvarox in disguise, bring him here and I’ll have a man-to-man talk with him.”

“I can only imagine the kinds of rumors that are going to pop up all over the city,” I said with a sigh, looking at the policemen and the birds as they left the House by the Bridge. “We’re going to scare him off, that Mudlax. Or aren’t we?”

“Of course we are,” said Juffin. “But that’s exactly what we’re after. I want to scare him so that he panics, tries to flee the city, and lands right in the welcoming arms of his compatriots. That would be the easiest solution to the problem. Too easy, I should say. I don’t quite believe that this plan is going to work, but then again, who knows.”

“I see,” I said. “What do you want me to do?”

“You? How about some highly intellectual work? Go get something to eat,” said Juffin seriously.

“Oh, now that’s an important and difficult task,” I said. “I’m not even sure if I can manage on my own.”

Melifaro returned about four hours later, tired and vexed. By that time, Lonli-Lokli and I had managed to empty out half a dozen jugs of kamra, and discuss any and all philosophical problems that deserved an iota of attention. Sir Shurf apparently thought that was just as it should be, but I felt like a shirker and deserter.

“It’s always nice to see true professionals,” said Melifaro with venom in his voice. “The gentlemen killers are just biding their time, waiting for me to bring them their next victim. Such an idyllic scene.”

“Yeah, we don’t waste our time on trifles,” I said.

Lonli-Lokli ignored Melifaro’s grumbling altogether. He merely gazed out the window in deep concentration at the slowly darkening sky.

“I’m going to turn myself in to Juffin. Let him cut my head off,” said Melifaro, sighing. “I don’t know about the others, but I failed big time. Sure, the guys at Customs remember that fellow, but then what? He didn’t tell them where he was going to stay. And Melamori didn’t find so much as a hint of his trace there. No wonder, it’s been seventeen years, and many a horde of mad barbarians has gone through Customs in both directions since then. Now she’s feeling better, though. See, the lady’s taking that goggle-eyed gold standard of male beauty and his furry beast for a walk around the city. They stare at each other like kids looking at an ice cream stand. That’s all right, though. Someone’s gotta be happy in this World.”

The vehemence of Melifaro’s anger surprised me. Sir Juffin poked his head out of his office.

“Don’t be upset, son,” he said. “Frankly, I didn’t expect you to return with any good news. The policemen took long strolls with no results, either. The buriwoks didn’t see any Arvaroxians. They’re going to go through the whole rigmarole again tomorrow. By the way, does anyone have any idea where we should be looking?”

“Sir Kofa is usually full of ideas,” I said. “At least he should know everyone who specializes in disguise. Maybe we should begin with them?”

“Yes, I thought so, too,” said Juffin. “Kofa’s already on it. Maybe he’ll bring some good news. I sure hope he will. But it is strange, isn’t it? You’d think that finding a man from Arvarox in Echo should be easy as Chakatta Pie.”

Finally, everyone else went home to sleep, and Kurush and I stayed behind at Headquarters. I was fine with that because Melifaro was sleeping at my place again. He said he was in too foul a mood to enjoy the company of Rulen Bagdasys.

“I’m pretty sure I’d beat him up,” Melifaro confessed. “You know, when things don’t go well for me, I just don’t find certain things funny.”