The Starter (30 page)
Quentin would make sure that team was
not
the Ionath Krakens.
GFL WEEK ONE ROUNDUP
(Courtesy of Galaxy Sports Network)
The GFL’s 25th Anniversary season is underway, and surprises abounded in Week One.
The Mars Planets registered a shocker, traveling to Jupiter and delivering a 21-20 upset against the defending champion Jacks. The New Rodina Astronauts made a loud announcement of their intentions this season with a 56-3 blowout win over the Jang Atom Smashers.
Both of the newly promoted teams dropped their Tier One debuts. The Ionath Krakens were man-handled by the Isis Ice Storm, 51-7, while the Chillich Spider-Bears suffered a 42-21 loss at the hands of the Bord Brigands.
Deaths
North Branch
, special teams player for the Isis Ice Storm, died on a clean hit from Ionath Krakens rookie
Rebecca Montagne
.
Offensive Player of the Week
New Rodina quarterback
Rick Renaud
, who threw five touchdowns in a 25-for-32, 293-yard performance.
Defensive Player of the Week
Mars cornerback
Matsumoto
, who registered two picks on Jacks QB
Shriaz Zia
. Matsumoto returned the second pick 62 yards for the winning touchdown.
PLANET DIVISION
1-0 Hittoni Hullwalkers
1-0 Isis Ice Storm
1-0 Lu Juggernauts
1-0 Mars Planets
1-0 To Pirates
1-0 Wabash Wolfpack
0-1 Alimum Armada
0-1 Coranadillana Cloud Killers
0-1 Yall Criminals
0-1 Themala Dreadnaughts
0-1 Ionath Krakens
SOLAR DIVISION
1-0 New Rodina Astronauts
1-0 Bord Brigands
1-0 D’Kow War Dogs
1-0 Sala Intrigue
1-0 Shorah Warlords
0-1 Jang Atom Smashers
0-1 Neptune Scarlet Fliers
0-1 Jupiter Jacks
0-1 Chillich Spider-Bears
0-1 Vik Vanguard
0-1 Bartel Water Bugs
From
“The GFL For Dummies”
by Robert Otto
English Language & Imperial Measurement System
Much debate has been made regarding the use of the Human-oriented language “English” as the official language of the GFL. Even more debate has focused on the use of an archaic, arbitrary, Earth measurement system known as “Imperial.” To understand the reasons for these rules, one must look at two factors: the origin of football, and the Creterakian Empire’s needs.
The Name of The Game
The term “football” applies to several Earth-invented sports. The first game to use that name is now commonly known as “soccer.” Soccer is played with a round, inflated ball. In this game, ten of the eleven players on each side are not allowed to use their hands. The primary controlling appendage is the foot, hence the original name
foot
-ball. This game’s origins are unclear, but date back some two millennia to possibly as early as 400 B.C. on the Earth historical timeline (ErT).
Over the centuries, many variations of the game arose, all of which allowed the use of the hands. These sports included Gaelic Football, Australian Rules Football, Rugby League, Rugby Union, and American Football, or “Gridiron.” The term “football” persists for many of these variants, although the Creterakian Empire Bureau of Species Interaction (EBSI) has dictated that these sports be officially referred to as the following:
Soccer/Football:
Football
Gaelic Football:
Gaelic
Australian Rules Football:
Footy
Rugby League:
Leagueball
Rugby Union:
Unionball
American Football:
Gridiron
The adoption of these names has been spotty, at best. The fact that the primary Gridiron league is known as the Galactic
Football
League is no small source of confusion.
History of Gridiron
Gridiron, also known as “American football,” is an off-shoot of the game rugby. Variations of Gridiron were active in the late 1800s ErT, but the current version is primarily attributed to Walter Camp, known as the “Father of American Football.” Among the changes Camp initiated were the forward pass (where players are allowed to throw the ball downfield to a teammate) the line of scrimmage, the addition of a helmet and other protective equipment, the concepts of “down” and “distance,” and changing the players from fifteen to a side to eleven. While both forms of rugby involve mostly non-stop action, Gridiron comes to a complete stop after every play. Teams stop, plan their next play, line up, and run the play. This constant stopping is one of the main things that differentiate Gridiron from the other football variants.
Camp began these rules changes in 1878. Therefore, League of Planets historians have officially declared 1878 as the first year of modern Gridiron. At the time, the game was played with the Imperial Measurement System unit known as a “yard.” As Earth cultures progressed and most governments switched to the metric system, practitioners of Gridiron steadfastly refused to change from “yards” to “meters.”
The Creterakians finished their conquest of the galaxy in 2642. At that time, gridiron had been played for over 750 years with “yards” being the official unit of measurement.
When League of Planets social scientist Demarkus Johnson created his plan for the Galactic Football League in 2658, he recommended the game be used with existing rules. Hence, “yards” continues to be accepted as the primary unit of Gridiron measurement.
English-Only
Johnson also suggested creating a new language for football, with unique terms for all aspects of the game using sounds that could be pronounced by all races. Creterakian officials refused this suggestion, however. The ability to quickly master any vocal language is innate for Creterakians, and as such, they have difficulty comprehending that other species can’t do the same.
The Empire implemented the GFL to facilitate inter-species cooperation and understanding. They wanted a single language for the game, but did not want to spend time creating a
new
language. The Creterakians understood and spoke English, the game of American Football used English, and that was that. Because the Empire and the EBSI control the GFL, all official communication related to the game or its coverage is done in English. Language-specific coverage is allowed on a system-by-system basis, but the prevalence of English-language usage by players, coaches, owners, and GFL officials means that the vast majority of media personnel must also speak English. This emphasis, combined with the galaxy’s ravenous appetite for all things GFL, means that English is the fastest-growing language in the known universe. Sklorno Prima, of course, is the galaxy’s most common tongue, but that will soon change — it is estimated that ninety percent of Sklorno are learning English so that they can better understand the game of Gridiron.
• • •
QUENTIN REARED BACK
a big foot and kicked his locker, denting the metal-grate frame. “Fined? I’ve been
fined
?”
Messal the Efficient trembled. His eye flooded an opaque, neon pink.
“For
what?
Who fined me?”
“Commissioner Froese,” Messal said. “He fined you for missing the post-game press conference after the Isis Ice Storm game.”
“He can fine me for
that?
”
“Yes, Elder Barnes. You were fined thirty thousand credits, Creterakian.”
Creterakian. What was the exchange rate for that in Quyth money? “Uh, is thirty thousand a lot?”
“
A lot
is a relative term, Elder Barnes.”
“Is it a lot for
me?
”
Messal trembled. He clearly didn’t want to answer the question.
“Come on,” Quentin said. “Out with it.”
“This year, you make one point two million credits, Creterakian,” Messal said. “After Creterakian income taxes, Quyth Concordia income taxes, Ionath City income taxes and GFL union dues, you make 720,000 credits.”
“But... but that’s not fair,” Quentin said. “That’s like forty percent!”
Messal nodded.
“So, I work my ass off, and the government takes
forty percent
of what I make?”
Messal nodded again. His cornea glowed a solid pink. Quentin knew he was terrifying the poor Quyth Worker, but he couldn’t stop. Messal, unfortunately, was the only available target for Quentin’s temper.
“So let me get this straight,” Quentin said. “If I go by the Earth calendar year, I work from January to
June
before I make a penny for myself? Five months of working to give the money to other people?”
“It could be worse,” Messal said. “You could own a home and pay property taxes. Mister Tweedy pays over half his income in taxes.”
“Remind me to never own a home,” Quentin said. “So... I still don’t get it. How much do I
actually
make
per game
?”
“There are twelve games in the season, Elder Barnes. You earn sixty thousand credits per game, after taxes.”
Quentin stared at the much smaller Quyth Worker, trying hard to remember that Messal hadn’t made the fine, trying to remember that ripping Messal’s pedipalp arms off of his skull would neither solve anything nor punish the guilty parties.
“And I was fined
thirty thousand
,” Quentin said. “So I just basically got fined for an entire
half
of a football game, a half where my life is at risk on every snap?”
“Yes, Elder Barnes.”
“For not going to a press conference?”
“Yes, Elder Barnes.”
“Well, you can tell them I’m not going to pay the fine.”
Messal’s trembling grew so bad the Worker dropped down to all fours, his middle arms keeping him stable. Quentin sighed. Messal was just the messenger.
“Messal, this isn’t your fault. You tried to get me to go, so just tell them I won’t pay and that’s that.”
“The money is already docked from your account,” Messal said. “Your GFL contract stipulates that the league has a direct connection to your finances in order to receive payment for fines.”
They already had his money. Quentin wondered what other things were in his contract that he didn’t know about. He made a mental note that he should actually
read it
sometime soon.
He’d lost his pay for half of a game. He’d never really given his salary much thought, but that was changing. At one point, just getting paid to play football seemed like the greatest blessing ever. Now? Now he realized that sentients who barely set foot on the field, sentients who were never in danger, made more than he did. At least two governments and a league that took itself
way
too seriously were helping themselves to his money. And if he suffered major collision? It wouldn’t be the league or the governments getting carted off the field on a medsled, it wouldn’t be the league or the governments with a prosthetic leg, and it wouldn’t be the league or the governments lying in a casket being lowered into the ground.