The Starkest Truth (A Breaking Insanity Novel Book 2) (8 page)

Returning my attention, she gave me an uneasy and fake smile. She eyed the wedding rings Eric and I had on our ring fingers. “How long have you two been married?”

“Do I know you?” I questioned, my words acerbic. “You asked me a question as if we’ve been introduced and we haven’t. You must know my husband, because you can’t stop panting for him like a bitch in heat.”

Stunned, her mouth fell agape. She brought it on herself by being too obvious about the fact she was making plans to take something that didn’t belong to her.
 

Eric barely moved, barely acknowledged me, but somehow he started the toy again.

I grumbled and quickly grasped the end of the table to catch my bearings.
 

Not only do I have to endure the social scene, but I have to actually be…social?

“Sorry,” I answered through a gasp, surprising her. “We’ve been married for a month.”

“Apology accepted,” she replied simply. “My name is Kat.”
 

With a nod, I allowed my attention to float elsewhere, nonverbally telling her our conversation was over before it had a chance to really begin.
 

The vibration increased to what had to be the maximum setting before going still. I bit my lip, hard, and tried to find comfort in my chair again. “I’m Nikki. Eric’s wife,” I gritted through my teeth, shooting a pointed glare at Eric.
 

Without skipping a beat, he smiled to acknowledge how much he enjoyed torturing me and kept up the flow of his conversation with his new chat partner.

“In the honeymoon stage, huh? They say it lasts for about one or two years. I think it only lasts while you’re on the honeymoon. Wait…” She smiled and nodded in recognition. “You’re
that
woman.”

“W-what do you mean?” I questioned.

“I should introduce myself properly.” She touched her collarbone and gave me yet another phony smile. “I’m a friend of Casper’s, and I helped plan the wedding. A lot of people were left off the guest list, and I wondered why. I was told the best man wouldn’t be able to attend unless there were less than a few dozen people. Something about his wife having social anxiety disorder. I wondered how the hell you’d be able to come to the most populated city in the first place. But, here you are…with him. It’s a shame Casper had to alter his wedding for you. The most important day of his life. That’s really no way to live your life—”

Eric abruptly stopped his conversation. The look he gave Kat made her pause in mid-sentence. “Who the fuck are you to say how Nikki should and shouldn’t live her life?” he asked, the timbre of his voice overflowing with vexation. “She has every reason to be this way…but you don’t have a single reason to be a selfish bitch to a woman you don’t know, because you’re hoping she’ll leave the table and give you a minute alone with her husband. Doesn’t matter if she does, I wouldn’t touch you with the tip of my cock even if I wasn’t married to the sexiest, most beautiful woman I’d ever met. Find another table to whore around so you can stop giving me the ‘come fuck me’ eyes. It will never happen. Consider yourself fucking dismissed.”

Gasping and choking on her sobs, tears streamed down her cheeks. Fumbling to leave, she grabbed her clutch and immediately left the table.
 

Feeling the warming waves of vindication, I smiled. “If I ever needed a reminder to stay on your good side, you just gave me one. Oh wait…I should probably remember the women who are dead now.”

“Your irreverent humor…very fucking misplaced right now,” he said darkly.
 

Examining him and the way his features suddenly tensed, I realized he wasn’t upset about the woman, he was still reeling over his encounter with the unnamed man.
 

His mood affected mine and I began to ponder what Kat had said. I sighed at the sudden consuming realization. “You…would’ve missed your best friend’s wedding—the guy you’ve known since grade school—because of me?”

Leaning forward, he kissed my cheek as though it were an apology and quickly erased his scowl. “Don’t worry about it. We’re here now.”

Thrust out of the current scene and into my own world, I was quickly reminded of my reality. The collective clanking of glasses, the chatter, and the music reminded me of what Eric tried to make me forget.
 

Casper’s husband, Timothy, stood from his position at the head table, closest to the stage. He approached the podium and called for members of the wedding party to come up and speak. When he called for Eric, and discreetly looked at the uneven number at the head table, I also realized…Eric wasn’t supposed to be sitting next to me, but at the table with Casper and Timothy.
 

My crippling issues had crippled him, just as I knew they would. When Eric made strides toward the podium, I left the ballroom.
 

Finding my way to the ladies’ bathroom, I locked myself inside one of the stalls. I closed the lid of the toilet seat and sat on top as I slipped into deep melancholy.
 

You’re keeping him from living his life, Nikki. Eventually, he’s going to get tired of you and fuck other women. Women like the one at the table.

I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I hadn’t heard the self-deprecating thoughts in a long time. Suddenly, I felt like the woman I was before Eric. In the past, I never would’ve cared if my issues influenced someone else’s life. They were mine alone to deal with and accept. It was their fault if they tried to engage with someone who came with a bright red warning sign—I held up a wall for a reason. It annoyed me when they stuck around, despite the warnings, thinking they could try—and fail—to fix me to make themselves feel better due to their savior complexes or overinflated senses of themselves.
 

My situation with Eric was completely different.
 

I felt…completely dejected.

The silicone chafed my apex, annoying me as much as my mood. I snatched it down my legs and left it on the floor. Covering my face with my hands, I cried into my palms.

The entrance door to the bathroom made a swooshing noise. The sound of grinding metal and a latch clicking pounded inside my head, indicating someone locked the bathroom door.
 

“You missed a really amazing speech,” Eric’s deep and husky voice echoed in the bathroom. “There were tears…laughter. While disguised as feeding the ego of my best friend, I gave so many praises to my wife, I think a few women came in their La Perla panties.” The first stall door creaked open. “Okay, maybe more than a few.” The taps of his shoes clicked against the marble floor, closing in on my stall. “It’s too bad she’ll never get to hear it. She has a really bad habit of running away from me lately.”

I slowly drew my legs up, hoping he wouldn’t see me. Noticing the strap-on laying on the floor, I attempted to pick it up without being noticed.
 

The abrupt knock on my stall door scared me. “Unlock the door, or I’ll kick it in, Nik.”

Standing, to prevent the door from knocking into my knees when it opened, I did as directed.

The disappointment swathing his face was pushed aside when he saw my tears. “She was a nobody.” He quickly took my hands in his and forced my back against the stall door until it closed. “You should’ve decked her. Would’ve been hot to watch you inflict massive amounts of pain onto that bitch’s body.”

“It wasn’t really her.” I scratched the back of my hands, having trouble maintaining his eye contact. “I can’t say it was her, or she’ll wind up committing suicide under strange circumstances.”

“Nikki,” he growled, pulling my hands away from each other to halt the assault.

“I know. I normally would’ve said something. Between her and the woman I shared a cab with last night—so many women know things about you that I don’t. It’s not that I want to know everything. Despite being nosy about things, I’d rather not know. It’s just—it bothers me when…”

“Other women talk about me?”

“Maybe it’s because I lie every time you ask me if I trust you. Deep down, maybe I don’t. In retrospect, I really shouldn’t.”

He slipped his arms around my waist to hold me closer. “Have I ever done anything to directly hurt you, Nik?”

“That is such a loaded question, Eric.” Sighing, I tucked the heavier side of my hair behind my ear. “Sometimes, I think I’m one of those sad woman who falls in love with a serial killer after he’s been imprisoned. That I think like they do: ‘He has this good side no one else sees.’ I’m willful in my ignorance toward you, because of the things you say and what you do to my body.” I began to laugh uncontrollably.

“Nik,” he warned, his brows furrowing. “What the fuck is up with you?”

“Why can’t it be funny? It should be funny.” My laughter turned into a quiet cry. “It’s starting up again, isn’t it? The mess I could barely handle before. The ominous, scary-looking man? Is he the start of a string of bad things you can’t get away from? The bad things that surround you, but sting me the hardest?” The seeping pressure on my chest I hadn’t felt in a while began to creep up.

He pulled my head out of its descent by kissing me.
 

I slipped forward, resting my forehead against his chest. Running a palm down the back of my head, he gently shushed me. “Do you remember what I said to you in our vows?”

“No one can—” I sucked in a breath, continuously working internally to bring myself down from my slow crawl into an abysmal state. “—hurt us as long as we believe in each other.”

He gripped my chin, tilting my head up to ensure I met his pensive stare. “You know I believe in you, and what I think of you. Nothing anyone else could say or do should change that. I won’t let them.”

“What about…other things? Am I—am I holding you back from your charade to appear normal by being around other people?”

“If anything, you’re saving me from doing things I really don’t want to do. The shit I don’t have to do with you. You know me like no one else does and they never will. These things—the people—they are useless, moderately entertaining stand-ins. I only came here because you were going stir-crazy…and I owed you a honeymoon.” He slowly smiled, but I couldn’t mirror his expression.
 

I recollected the silent interaction exchanged with his best friend shortly after he was visited by an ominous man. Plus, I couldn’t believe him completely—Casper no longer seemed like a useless stand-in. “Casper customized one of the most important events in his life for me. I’m only assuming because they dropped a huge amount of money on the wedding. Gold-plated tableware? Silk napkins?”

He shrugged. “No one forced his hand.”

“You sort of did by saying you couldn’t come unless the list was diminished. How many other things are you holding back from doing because of me?” Our issues were two-fold. He kept people away from me, and in return, I kept him away from the social life he needed to maintain in order to exert control over the people involved in it.
 

I had to do the unthinkable and question Eric about the man who approached us at the table earlier. If the drama I’d been forced to endure since he came into my life was on the verge of beginning again, I needed to be forewarned of the things to come.
 

But, I had to place physical distance between us before I asked about it. “I feel dirty. I need to wash my hands.”

The look in his eyes told me it was the worst thing I could’ve said. Clutching the back of my head, he pulled my hair until my neck craned. “You aren’t dirty enough, Nik,” he whispered, kissing the sensitive skin on my neck, and eliciting a fever.
 

When he used his tongue, I shuddered. “No. No. NO!” I shoved my fist underneath his chin and lifted him away from kissing my neck as I struggled to keep my head level with my body. “Who is Victor? What was with the cloak and dagger guy? Why did you tell me you were going to work when you’re having meetings with…Victor? Who is he? What were the meetings about?”

His eyes searched mine in silence.

“Eric, say something,” I implored, my voice trembling in anticipation for what I knew would very well happen.

“No,” he responded firmly. “It won’t lead anywhere.”

“We have to talk—”
 

He pressed forward and kissed me. I immediately tried to push him away. Grasping my wrist and forcing them to settle behind my back, he kissed me deeper, attempting to disarm my fight and make me forget my need for answers.
 

The more I struggled the stronger his kisses and his hold became.
 

He grabbed the back of my thighs and pushed me up, ignoring my diminishing fight. I pressed my lips together, unreceptive to his kiss. He grabbed my bottom lip between his teeth, forcing me to relent to his ferocious kisses. It was impossible to be indomitable against him. Every day he reminded me of how much he became my utter weakness.
 

Relenting, I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and allowed my fight to completely disappear as he fervently kissed me and fucked me against the stall door.
 

ERIC HAD A WAY of penetrating me in two ways; his words were a mental erection plunging deep inside the dark abyss contained within my mind. His body was a perfect and primed resource that could make me feel pleasure and pain when and however he wanted it. When he was inside me, my thoughts and desires were his. There was no end or divide between us—we were a singular entity.