The Starborn Saga (Books 1, 2, & 3) (46 page)

“Yes, well, we’re all happy the satellite works,” he says. “I’m uh…I’m going to go check out the wall.” He leaves the room and I can’t help but feel awkward. Aaron isn’t even looking at me. I know he was happy, but that just seemed like a slap in the face to Connor.

“You are an exciting bunch of people,” Christopher says.

“You can even hit this button here,” Aaron tells Danny, “and it registers body heat for night time and when it’s cloudy out.”

I start to leave the room and Aaron calls out to me. “Where are you going?” he asks. 

I just look at him for a moment, unsure that I should say this in front of everyone, but I decide to anyway. “You’re so thoughtless sometimes.”

He looks confused. I open my mouth to say something else, but I think better of it. When I walk out of the Tower, I see Connor near the edge of the village, filling up his truck with fuel. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” I ask him.

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Then finally, “I don’t belong here, Mora. I’m not one of you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not a Starborn. I can’t do much to help you here.”

“And you think you can help us by leaving?” I ask. What on Earth could he be thinking? Is this about the kiss? “I didn’t kiss Aaron in there,” I tell him. “He kissed me.” I hesitate, looking for the right words to say. “I didn’t want him to do that.” I know I don’t sound convincing.

Connor sighs and looks out toward the wall that is slowly being built. “You two are together and I’m fine with that,” he says.

“We aren’t together,” I say.

“Look at it from my perspective, Mora,” he says a little too loudly. He sets the gas can on the ground and takes a couple of steps toward me. “I see you two kissing in the woods. You go off with him to Salem. You two kiss in front of everyone. It’s fine, I just need to get away.”

“Why?” I ask. “Why can’t you just stay and help us?”

“Because I love you!” he almost shouts. 

The words hit hard, and I’m not ready for them. 

“I know we haven’t known each other very long, but we’ve been through a lot already. But I understand that it can’t work out because I want to be able to protect you. Instead, you’ll always be the one protecting me.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve saved my life several times over the past couple of weeks.” 

He just shakes his head. 

“I’m not with anyone,” I say, “despite what you might think.”

“You are all I thought about while I was at the compound, getting that satellite,” he says, looking at the ground. “It was weird. But it felt so much like you were there with me. Encouraging me. There was a There wmoment when I was about to try and take on a bunch of greyskins alone, but it felt like you were telling me to wait. Because of that, I was rescued.” He shakes his head and looks at me. “I don’t understand it at all.”

“I do,” I say. “It’s because
I
was
there, Connor.”

“What?”

Only Evelyn knows this about me. I feel strange telling him my secret, but right now it seems necessary.

“I recently learned that I can watch people that I’ve touched. Wherever you are, I can see what you are doing if I want.”

He squints his eyes and turns his head in confusion. 

“I didn’t want to say anything to anyone about it yet because I didn’t want people to become distant. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“So, when I was about to open the door, you told me to wait?” he asks. 

“Yes. I also saw the conversation with you, Heather, and Danny the night before.” I shake my head at him. “You can’t believe what they say about Aaron and Evelyn. They were just being mean.”

“I know that,” he says. “Well…I guess there’s no way to really know.”

“You are actually the first person that I’ve ever spoken to when I was watching.”

“Do it often?” he asks with an eyebrow raised. 

“Only when I need to find you. Only when I’m worried. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t be,” he says. “This is actually a perfect reason for me to get out of here.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“I’m guessing you never got a chance to touch Jeremiah, right? So you can’t see what he’s up to, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’m your man.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m going to Screven,” he says. “I will be way more of a help there than here. I’m going to see Jeremiah.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

“You can’t do that!” I almost yell at Connor. “What makes you think you can just walk up to Jeremiah? What’s your plan anyway?”

“Well,” he says, “it
was
to get in on his good side by acting like I was against the rest of you. I’d try to figure out his plans and somehow get the message to you. Now, you just made that part so much easier. You can just watch me.”

I shake my head vigorously. “No way. You’re not going.”

“Mora,” he says with a smile. “There is no way for me to help here. I can do this. I’ve been thinking about it for a few days now.”

“When, since you saw me and Aaron in the woods?”

“Maybe that’s what started the idea, but I’ve really thought about this and I think it’s a good one.”

“I think it’s suicide.”

He rolls his eyes at me. “I’m a citizen of Screven, under Jeremiah. He won’t do anything to me unless he thinks I’m trying to kill him or something.”

“Or trying to betray his trust,” I say. “He’s a vicious man. He will kill you.”

The elders come out of the bottom of the Tower, followed by Aaron and the other Starborns.

Connor looks at me quickly and says something just above a whisper. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m leaving tonight.”

“Why canWhent I tell anyone?” I ask.

“If word gets around to Jeremiah that I’m playing him, he really will kill me.”

“No one here would say anything,” I tell him. 

Connor raises an eyebrow and looks from me, to Evelyn, and to Aaron. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

“Hey,” Aaron calls out as he approaches Connor and me. “You know I really think this satellite is going to help us out.”

I nod, but Connor doesn’t say anything. When I look at Connor, I can’t help but notice the glaring scowl he’s giving to Aaron. Aaron notices too.  

“Why does it feel like you always have something against me?” Aaron asks.

“Don’t talk to me right now, acting like everything should be okay,” Connor says.

Aaron shakes his head. 

“You didn’t tell me you had a Starborn power until you were forced to use it in front of me,” Connor says. “You kept it a secret for years. I bring Mora to the safety of Salem and you use her to start a revolution. I try to save your life from a bunch of greyskins and you barely even speak to me.”

I can see the anger building in Connor’s face. From the bottom of his neck to the top of his cheeks, he’s turning bright red. 

“I know what this is about,” Aaron says. 

“I’m glad you do,” Connor says, turning away from him to face the truck. 

“This is because I killed Mom and Dad, isn’t it?”

No one, least of all Aaron, is ready for the punch that Connor lands on the side of Aaron’s face, knocking him off his feet and to the ground. 

“Stop it!” I yell, but it is unnecessary. Connor is already getting into the truck.

“Guess I’m leaving now instead of tonight,” Connor says. 

“Where are you going?” Evelyn asks. 

Connor turns on the truck, looks at me, then at Evelyn through the open window. “To find a different colony. You don’t need me here.”

Before anyone can respond, he puts the truck in gear but I run forward and put a hand on his shoulder. I lower my voice so only he can hear me. “For the record I think this is a terrible idea, but whatever you do, you can’t tell Jeremiah that we’ve found a healer.”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but why?”

“Just promise me.”

“Okay, I promise.”

I step back from the truck and Connor drives away quickly. I can’t believe he’s been planning to do this. If only I could read his thoughts like Sadie. Then I would be able to watch him while he was gone and hear his thoughts at the same time. 

Aaron is back on his feet and silent. He’s got a big, red mark on his face from where Connor hit him hard. 

“You okay?” I ask.

He nods. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

But that’s all that is said between us. The others disperse and Aaron walks back toward the Tower, no doubt to keep an eye on the satellite feed. I can’t help but feel helpless in all this. Connor is on his way to see Jeremiah, and for what? What does he expect to accomplish? Jeremiah will want to use him to get information and will see right through Connor in an instant. That is, unless Connor can really pull it off. I suppose he could buy us more time. Maybe he can keep Jeremiah from messing with Springhill until we can get the walls up. No doubt we will face retaliation for killing his guards here. Maybe Connor really can help. Or maybe Jeremiah will just kill him. 

I spend the rest of the day with Grandma and Jake. They gladly take time aw take tiay from helping at the wall for a lunch break. We cook and play a couple of games that we’ve made up over the years. This is good for me. For the first time in what feels like forever, it seems like we are all happy. And I don’t think it’s an illusion. We all know that outside our home there is a cruel world. Outside our home is a man ready to wipe us off the map. We know. But right now, in this moment, we don’t care. 

Jake is a wonderful eleven-year-old. He has such bright spirits. I don’t think I was this happy when I was his age. Even with my parents around, I never had as good of an attitude about life, and Jake has seen just about as much evil as I have. 

Grandma is a saint. She took care of us in the best and worst times of our lives. I often wonder what her life was like when she was my age. She has told me so many stories about it, but I never could picture the old world in my mind until Evelyn started showing me the past in my dreams. Now I can at least get a feel for how people were back then. I can also get a feel for the terror of something like the beginning of the greyskins. 

I can’t imagine being in the world when all of this originated. Being born into this life, I’ve known nothing else. I know that we strive to live in a world where there are no more greyskins, or at least a world where we never come in contact with them. But to me, that’s like heaven. It makes a lot more sense for someone like my grandma to want things to be how they used to be, but not me. All I want is to make it where we aren’t constantly afraid to die. I just want to make sure that, when our time comes to die, it will be peaceful. I don’t want any more loved ones to end up infected. 

The clouds roll in as the day turns to dusk. Thunder in the distance lets us know that we will be getting more rain soon enough.

I pull out the tie from my hair to let it fall freely around my face. I love my long hair when the winds pick up. It almost feels like I’m flying. I would love to fly. If I could do such a thing, I don’t know where I would go. Maybe I would look for that place that Christopher and his friend had found. New Haven? He had said it was nearly impossible to get there by foot, but I could get there if I could fly. I wouldn’t be able to take anyone with me, but I would be okay with that for a time. 

Walking through the middle of the main road, I look up at the Tower and wonder if Aaron is still there. I wish he hadn’t kissed me today. It just didn’t make any sense. It seems that every time I start to figure things out a little more, something weird happens. Aaron kisses me. Connor tells me he loves me. Don’t these people realize there isn’t time for any of this?

I won’t forget what Evelyn told me about how people who aren’t looking for romance are often blindsided by it. Well, I’m not looking and I wish people would stop blindsiding me. 

I walk toward the Tower. I walk away from the Tower. I want to tell Aaron how I feel. I know I was the one that initiated the first
two
kisses, but he needs to know that I’m just not interested. At least, I think I’m not. I shake my head. This is crazy. Stupid. This broken world is falling into more pieces and all I can think about is kissing a boy. 

“Is everything okay?”

I’m startled by the sound of the voice only a few feet away from me. I’ve been so distracted by my own thoughts that I didn’t even notice Christopher standing in the road. 

It takes me a moment to respond. “Yes,” I say. “I suppose.”

“You’re pacing,” he says. “That’s why I ask.”

“Am I? I didn’t notice.”

“Worried about your friend? What’s his name? Connor?”

“Partly that,” I say. “Other stuff too I guess.”

“I know he’s not just going to find a new place,” Christopher says. “Sadie took the liberty to…you know.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” I say to him. “He asked me not to say anything.”

“I know.”

He stands there awkwardly for a few moments, looking as though he’s wanting to say something but feels like he shouldn’t. 

“Just say it,” I tell him. 

“I’m just a little confused,” he says. “I know this is a bit forward, but I saw that you and Aaron kissed.”

I sigh, not wanting to discuss this. But with Christopher, I feel more open. Maybe it’s his demeanor. Maybe it’s because I don’t know him.

He continues. “But…your thoughts portrayed that you have feelings for Connor. Deep feelings.”

“I thought Sadie made it a habit not to look into people’s minds,” I say. 

“She found your situation rather intriguing. She also saw that you have deep feelings for Aaron, but not in the same way.”

“How could she see that? I don’t even know that,” I tell him. “Why do you care anyway? I mean, I’m not being hostile or anything, I just don’t understand why you are taking such an interest.”

“You saved my life,” he says. “I figure I’m going to be around you and the others for a while now that we are all in this Starborn group. I guess I’m just getting to know you.”

“You never really had too many friends did you?” I ask. I know it’s rude, but I didn’t ask him to come here and pry into my personal life.