The Stainless Steel Rat eBook Collection (27 page)

‘Leave the keep here just as it is – and take all your men. If everything goes as planned you will have troops back here long before anyone knows we have gone. We march at midnight, silent as vengeful spirits, to be in positions of concealment at dawn, as close to Capo Doccia’s
keep as is possible. I know just the spot. When the drawbridge is opened at dawn I shall use your new machine to see that it stays open. Your troops attack, take the keep by surprise – and the day is won. As soon as you have captured the keep you can send a strong force back here.’

‘It could happen that way. But how do you plan to stop them closing the drawbridge?’

As I told him the wicked grin
spread across his face and he whooped with joy.

‘Do it!’ he shouted, ‘and I shall make you rich for life. With Doccia’s groats of course, after I loot his treasury.’

‘You are kindness itself to your humble servant. May I then
suggest that all in the keep be persuaded to rest for it will be a long night?’

‘Yes, that will be done. The orders will be issued.’

After that I slipped away. Other
than my natural concern for the tired bodies of my comrades, I had other reasons for wishing all of them in their beds. I had a few important tasks to perform before I could get any rest myself.

‘Tools,’ I told Dreng when I had routed him out. ‘Files, hammers, anything like that. Where would I find them here?’

He shoved a finger deep into his matted hair and scratched hard in thought. I resisted
the urge to reach out and shake him and waited instead until the slow processes had crawled to a finish. Perhaps the fingernail rasping on skull helped his sluggish synapses to function. It would be best not to interfere with an established practice. Eventually he spoke.

‘I don’t have any tools?’

‘I know, dear boy.’ I could hear my teeth grate together and forced myself to keep control. ‘You
don’t have tools, but someone here must. Who would that be?’

‘Blacksmith,’ he said proudly. ‘The blacksmith always has tools.’

‘Good lad. Now, would you kindly lead the way to this blacksmith?’

The individual in question was sooty and hairy and in a foul mood, sour wine strong on his breath.

‘Hiss off, runt. No one touches Grundge’s tools, no one.’

Runt indeed! I did not have to force the
snarl and growl. ‘Listen you filthy piece of flab – those are the Capo’s tools, not your tools. And the Capo sent me for them. Now either I take them now or my knave goes to bring the Capo here. Shall I do that?’

He closed his fists and growled, then hesitated. Like everyone else he had seen me drive the capo into the keep and knew I was his confidant. He couldn’t take any chances on crossing
his boss. He began to bob up and down bowing and scraping.

‘Certainly, master. Grundge knows his place. Tools, sure, take tools. Over here, whatever you want.’

I pushed past his sweaty form to the dismal display of primitive devices. Pathetic! I kicked through the pile until I found a file, hammer and clumsy metal snips that would have to do. I pushed them towards Dreng.

‘Take these. And you,
Grundge, can crawl over in the morning to the barn and get them back.’

Dreng followed after me, then gaped up in awe at the steam cart.

‘Close your mouth before you catch some flies,’ I told him, seizing the tools. ‘What I’ll need next is a stout bag or sack of some kind, about this big. Scout one out and bring it to me here. Then get to bed because you will not be getting much sleep tonight.’

With proper tools I could have done the job in no time at all. But I had a feeling that tolerances wouldn’t be that exact here and as long as I was close to the model it would be all right. The metal siding next to the driver’s seat was roughly the thickness of the wooden key. I cut and filed and hacked a portion of it into shape. It would have to do.

Dreng – and hopefully everyone else – was
now asleep and I could begin Operation Great-groat. With the key in my pocket, the bag tucked into my waist, silent as a shadow – I hoped – I made my way into the depths of the keep. I had memorised The Bishop’s map and his spirit must have been watching after me for I found the treasury without being seen. I slipped the key into the lock, crossed the fingers of my free hand, and turned.

With
a metallic screech it clanked open. My heart did its usual pounding-in-chest routine while I stood rooted there. The noise must have been heard.

But it hadn’t been. The door creaked slightly when I opened it and then I was inside the vault and easing it shut behind me.

It was beautiful. High, barred windows let in enough light so I could see the big chests against the far wall. I had done my
fiscal research well, getting a look at a braggard’s store of groats, so I knew just what to look for.

The first chest was stuffed with brass groats my fingers could distinguish their thick forms in the darkness. In logical progression I found silvers groats in the next chest and I shovelled my bag half full of them. As I did this I saw a smaller chest tucked in behind this one. I smiled into
the darkness as I groped and felt the angled shapes within. Golden groats – and lots of them. This was going to be a very successful heist after all. I only stopped shovelling when the bag became too heavy. Beware of greed. With this bit of advice to myself I threw it over my shoulder and let myself out just the way I had come in.

There were guards in the courtyard but they never saw me as I
slipped into the barn. I turned on the instrument lights of the car which provided more than enough illumination for me to see by. I opened the storage locker below and put the money bag into place. As I closed it I was overwhelmed by a great sensation
of relief. In my mind’s eye I slid out another rook to join the first. The chess game was going as planned and mate was clearly visible ahead.

‘Now, Jim,’ I advised. ‘Get your head down and get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be an exceedingly busy day.’

I muttered and slapped and rolled over but the irritation persisted. Eventually I blinked my grimy eyes open and growled up at Dreng who was shaking my shoulder. He stepped away in fear.

‘Do not beat me, master – I am only doing as you instructed. It is time to waken for the troops are assembling now in the courtyard.’

I growled something incoherent and this turned into
a cough. When I did this a cup appeared before me and I drank deep of the cool water, then dropped back onto the bunk. Not for the first time did I approve of the knave system. But I was beat, bushed, fatigued. Even the stamina of youth can be sapped by adversity. I shook my head rapidly then sat up on my elbows, angry at myself for the brief moment of self-pity.

‘Go, good Dreng,’ I ordered,
‘and find me food to nourish my hungry cells. And some drink as well since alcohol is the only stimulant these premises seem to have.’

I splashed cold water over my head in the courtyard, gasping and spluttering. As I wiped my face dry I saw in the clear starlight the ranks of soldiers being drawn up as the ammunition was being issued. The great adventure was about to begin. Dreng was waiting
when I returned. I sat on my bunk and ate a pretty repellent breakfast of fried dinglebeans washed down by the destructive wine. I talked between gruesome mouthfuls because this was the last private moment I would have with my knave.

‘Dreng, your military career is about to end.’

‘Don’t kill me, master!’

‘Military career, idiot – not your life. Tonight is your last night of service and in the
morn you will be off home with your pay. Where does your old dad hide his money?’

‘We are too poor to have any groats.’

‘I am sure of that. But
if
he had any – where would he put it?’

This was a complicated thought and he puzzled over it while I chewed and swallowed. He finally spoke.

‘Bury it under the hearth! I remember he did that once. Everyone buries their money under the fire. That way
it can’t be found.’

‘Great. That way it certainly can be found. You have got to
do better than that with your fortune.’

‘Dreng has no fortune.’

‘Dreng will have one before the sun rises. I’m paying you off. Go home and find two trees near your home. Stretch a rope between them. Then dig a hole exactly halfway along the rope. Bury the money there – where you can find it when you need it. And
only take out a few coins at a time. Do you have that?’

He nodded enthusiastically. ‘Two trees, half way. I never heard of anything like that before!’

‘An earth-shaking concept, I know,’ I sighed. There certainly was a lot that he hadn’t heard about. ‘Let’s go. I want you to be a stoker on my chariot of fire.’

I staggered to my feet and led the way to the barn. Now that the troops were lined
up and ready the officers were finally appearing, scratching and yawning, with the capo at their head. I didn’t have much time. Dreng climbed into the car behind me and squealed with fear when I turned on the instrument lights.

‘Demonic illumination! Spirit lights! Sure sign of death!’

He clutched at his chest and looked ready to expire until I gave him a good shaking. ‘Batteries!’ I shouted.
‘The gift of science denied to this dumb world. Now stop quaking and open your bag.’

All thoughts of death vanished and his eyes stuck out like boiled eggs as I shovelled silver and gold groats into his leather bag. This was a fortune that would change his entire life for the better, so at least I was accomplishing one good deed by my presence here.

‘What are you doing up there?’

It was Capo
Dimonte, glaring up suspiciously from below.

‘Just stoking the engines, excellency.’

‘Kick that knave out of the way, I’m coming up.’

I waved the goggle-eyed Dreng to the back of the car as the capo climbed board.

‘You favour me with your presence, Capo.’

‘Damned right. I ride while the troops walk. Now move this thing out.’

The scouts had already gone on ahead when we rumbled across the
drawbridge and onto the causeway. The main body of troops came behind us, a certain eagerness in their step despite the hour. All of them had lost valuables and possessions – even knaves – during the raid. All were eager for revenge and theft.

‘The Capo Doccia must be taken alive,’ Capo Dimonte suddenly said. I started to answer until I realised that he was
talking only to himself. ‘Tied and
left helpless, brought back to the keep. First a little flaying, just enough skin to make a hatband. Then maybe blinding. No – not right away – he must see what is happening to him …’

There was more like this, but I tuned it out. I had thoughts of my own – and even some regrets. When The Bishop had been killed my anger had overwhelmed all of the clear thinking that I should have been doing. All
excuses vanished now – I was embarking on this expedition solely for revenge. And I couldn’t claim to be doing it in The Bishop’s memory because he would have been seriously opposed to violent action of this kind. But it was too late now to turn back. The campaign had been launched and we were well on our way.

‘Stop this thing!’ the capo ordered suddenly, and I hit the brakes.

There was a dark
knot of men waiting on the road ahead – our advance scouts. The capo climbed to the ground and I leaned out to see what was happening. They were leading a man who had his arms bound behind him.

‘What happened?’ the capo asked.

‘Found him watching the road, excellency. Caught him before he could get away.’

‘Who is he?’

‘Soldier, name of Palec. I know him, served with him in the southern campaign.’

The capo walked up to the prisoner and shoved his face close to the other’s and snarled, ‘I have you, Palec. Tied and bound.’

‘Aye.’

‘Are you the Capo Doccia’s man.’

‘Aye, I serve under him. I took his groat.’

‘You’ve spent that on wine a long time ago. Will you serve with me and take my groat?’

‘Aye.’

‘Release him. Barkus – a silver groat for this man.’

These mercenaries fought well, but
they also changed sides easily enough. Why not? They had no stakes in any of the capos’ quarrels. Once Palec had accepted the coin they gave him his weapons back.

‘Speak, Palec,’ the capo ordered. ‘You are my loyal servant now who has taken my groat. But you used to serve with Capo Doccia. Tell me what he plans.’

‘Aye. No secret there. He knows that your army is intact and you will be coming
after him as soon as you can. Some of us have been sent out to watch the roads, but he doesn’t think that you
will march for some time yet. He stays drunk, that’s a sign he’s not expecting a fight.’

‘I’ll put a sword through his belly, let out the wine and guts!’ The capo cut off his dreaming with an effort and forced himself back to the present. ‘What about his troops? Will they fight?’

‘Aye,
they’ve just been paid. But they have little love for him and will change sides as soon as the battle is lost.’

‘Better and better. Fall in with the ranks. Scouts out ahead. Start this machine!’

The last was directed at me as he climbed back to his seat. I kicked it into gear and the advance continued again. There were no more interruptions and we proceeded, with hourly rest breaks, towards
the enemy keep. It was well before dawn when we came to the scouts waiting on the road. This was the spot I had picked. The keep of Capo Doccia was around the next bend.

‘I will post your lookout now,’ the capo said.

‘Agreed. My knave here will show them the exact spot where they are to stay hidden, in sight of the gate.’ I waited until he was out of earshot before I whispered my instructions
to Dreng.

‘Take your bag and everything you possess with you – because you are not coming back.’

‘I do not understand, master …’

‘You will if you shut up and listen instead of talking. Lead the soldiers to the bushes where we hid, when we were getting ready to rescue The Bishop. You do remember the place?’

‘It is past the burnt tree over the hedge and …’

‘Great, great – but I don’t need the
description. Take the soldiers as I said, show them where to hide, then lie close beside them. Soon after dawn things are going to get very, very busy. At that time you will do nothing, understand that – don’t speak, just nod.’