The Space in Between (17 page)

Kissing, hugging and being close to him. All of those things are easy. It’s what comes after that I’m having issues with. The last person I cuddled with was my best friend and that wasn’t entirely by choice. I’d fallen asleep on him randomly during one of our movie nights and he moved his arm before it could go numb and I’d ended up curled into him.

There won’t be anything accidental about being in Christian’s arms.

God. I can’t believe how stupid I’m acting right now.
Since when did I change from being this self-assured seventeen year old into an insecure preteen?

“If that’s too much we can just keep doing the puzzle, Emery.”

“No. It’s not too much. It sounds perfect.” I lie, hoping like hell he won’t be able to see through it. 

“You’ve had your spoon in the same position since I brought it up, and you haven’t so much as blinked either. Are you sure it’s perfect?”

Screw it. I can’t lie and pretend that I’m not a big huge bundle of nervous right now.

“I’m scared.”

Getting up from the chair, thinking that he’s going to make another beeline for the kitchen, I wait him out. Freezing up completely when he makes his way around to where I’m sitting, his shadow looming over the table and his breath hot on my ear.

“What are you scared of?”

“Being alone in your room. On your bed.”

Gripping the edges of the chair, he lifts and turns it until it’s facing away from the table and slipping down onto his knees, he smiles up at me. “What if I told you that all I want to do in my room is cuddle?”

“I wouldn’t believe it.”

“Why not?”

“Loads of reasons, but the biggest one being how it felt at your locker earlier.”

A pained expression crosses over his face before he lifts his hand and rubs the bridge of his nose.

“I’m not gonna lie, Emery. I turn into a total guy when I’m around you, but I would never push you to do something you’re not ready for, or better yet, something I’m not even ready for.”

“You really mean that?”

Holding up three fingers tightly pressed together, he smiles softly. “Scouts Honor. Even if I’ve never been one.”

“That’s reassuring.” I joke and taking both of my hands in his and kissing them softly before releasing them, he soothes my nerves.

“I don’t know about the other guys at school and what you’re used to or whatever, but I do know that all I want to do with the prettiest girl I know, is get comfortable on something not as painful as these kitchen chairs and watch a movie or two.”

Well. When he puts it like that…

“Compliments will get you—”

“If you say everywhere, I’m sending you home. I might not want to do anything to freak you out, but I’m still a guy, and the thought of making out with you and maybe even going even further can still drive me crazy.”

“I was going to say nowhere…”

“Why do I have a hard time believing that?”

“Because you know me?”

“That
must
be it. So Ems, will you stay and watch a movie with me?”

Placing a hand on the arm of the chair and lifting himself up from his place on the floor, he pulls me up, and giving him the most comfortable smile I can, I motion down the hall to where I know his bedroom awaits.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s get our movie on.”

Chapter Fifteen

Christian

Infinity signifies no limitations and never ending possibilities. The infinity tattoo design signifies there being no boundaries. Everything is infinite.

It’s perfect.

This research I’m doing, it started last night.  I was searching for a Christmas present for Emery and eventually it took on a mind of its own, leading me away from jewelry until it became permanently marking my body with a tattoo.

“What the hell, Cayne?!”

So absorbed in what I was reading that I wasn’t paying attention to anything going on around me, I turn to see Jonah standing behind me with a full view of what’s on my screen.

Slamming the lid to the laptop down even though I’m pretty sure he’d seen more than enough to quiz me on, he comes around the table, climbs in and not giving me a chance to explain, starts in on me.

“You’re not seriously thinking about getting a tat!” He hisses.

Looking from him to the laptop, I shrug before reaching into my bag and bringing out my lunch, hoping to hell that whatever my dad made is enough to stuff my face with so I won’t have to answer him.

“You realize that even if you do manage to snag your dad’s permission, Coach is gonna freak if you show up to practice sporting it.”

Coach. A guy I never thought I’d have in my life, but that had been a godsend during those weeks when Emery wouldn’t talk to me. Letting me join the soccer team and get my frustrations out on the field instead of drowning in them the way I had been.

“Yeah, Dad. I’m aware.”

“So what the hell?”

“I was just reading something about the symbol. No big deal.”

He doesn’t need to know that for a split second after I’d read the definition, I’d been pretty positive I wanted it. He’s already freaking over my reading something. Telling him that it was more than just a passing thought would send him through the roof.

The same way it would do to my actual dad if he ever found out.

“Okay, that’s cool, but now you gotta tell me why you’re looking at infinity symbols.”

“Do I really need to answer that?”

We don’t exactly get into it, but I’m pretty damn sure he’s aware of how I feel about Emery. So he has to already know the answer to his question.

There’s people that don’t even know me at all—only seeing me in class and around campus—that know how Emery and I are without even asking, so Jonah’s knowledge, being my friend and someone that once upon a time knew her pretty damn well, has to be able to write the book on us.

“Does she know that you’re looking into permanently messing with your body?”

“No, and if you wanna keep breathing, you’re not gonna say a word. Like I said, I was just reading up on the symbol. It just happened to take me to a tattoo site.”

“Sure it did. Haven’t you ever heard of a thing called Wikipedia?”

“Yeah, man, I have, but you know that it’s pointless to go there if you want actual information. It’s edited by people like us. You know…ones that don’t know shit?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure that if all you were after was a bit of basic infinity information, you could have gotten it there. Or I don’t know, asked me.”

“Since when did you become an encyclopedia?”

“Since my best friend decided he wanted to be a complete moron and get a tattoo.”

“Who’s getting a tattoo?” Emery asks coming up behind us and wrapping her arms around my neck before kissing my cheek.

“The bonehead you’re dating.” Jonah blurts and shooting him a look a death, I immediately start shaking my head.

“Don’t listen to him. I was looking something up online that happened to take me to a tattoo site and he walked up and caught me reading.”

Moving around and sliding in beside me, she taps her fingers on the top of the laptop. “Show me?”

“Sorry, no can do. I shut it down when this idiot started in on me.”

Please don’t see through the lie.

This all started because I wanted to come up with something original that would fit her for Christmas. The last thing I want right now is to have to spill that truth out because Jonah couldn’t keep his big mouth shut.

Moving my bag out of the way as she slides hers off her shoulders, I pick the laptop up with my other hand and slide it in, knotting the strings before laying it down on the ground, content that even if she doesn’t believe a word I just said, taking the smoking gun off the table has at least bought me some time.

Pulling her lunch out and diving in, cracking the top of the soda can and taking a long drawn out swallow, I decide to use the time to redirect everyone to a much safer topic.

My need to get a job.

“Did you hear anything back from the shop you applied to?” I ask Jonah, at the same time trying to ignore the way it feels as Emery moves on the bench and her leg brushes against mine.

The shot of adrenaline and heat that seems to completely take me over every time she does it.

“No, and after talking with my dad, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to.”

“Why?”

“You know how he is. He said having a job at my age is pointless. I’m pretty sure he called the place and told them not to bother. What about you? Any word from Sport Chek?”

Last week, we’d gotten the idea into our heads—or I did and brought Jonah along for the ride—that we needed to get jobs so that we didn’t have to depend on our parents so much for the shit we wanted to do and things we wanted to be able to buy. After picking out a few places in the mall, we’d gone and filled out some applications and were now just waiting to hear back.

The only difference being that Jonah applied to work at a garage just down the road from his house because he secretly had a thing for cars and wanted the chance to learn from the best.

“Nah, but that could just be because they’re not hiring.”

“Dude, right now if it meant having some cash to be able to take April out, I’d throw on a fat suit and be the mall Santa.”

While the idea of my best friend dressing up as Santa did hold its own humorous appeal, especially with the way he acts anytime he’s even so much as standing near a little kid, it’s hard not to agree with him.

If I want to be able to take Emery out and treat her like a queen, I gotta be able to get my hands on the money to do it. Hence all of the applying at the mall I did, even taking it a few steps further and going around to all the fast food chains too.

Christmas is a little over a month away. Leaving date nights out of it, I want to be able to get something nice for her, even though she told me that all she wanted was time alone with me.

Something needs to give soon or I’m going to have to talk to my dad if I want to make things happen, and  I know the second I do that, all of the anonymity that I’ve been able to have with Emery, will crash and burn.

He’s going to want to know what I want the money for, how long I’ve been seeing her, how serious it is and how soon she can make it over to the house so he can meet her.

“The Laundromat near my house is hiring.” Emery interjects and turning toward her, watching as Jonah does the same, she laughs. “If only you two moved that fast all the time.”

“Do you think they would hire a couple of kids with no experience?” Jonah asks before I’ve gotten the chance to.

“You give out change and accept dry cleaning in. It’s not exactly rocket science, Jo. It’s run by a nice old couple that I think are looking to have a break, so I’m pretty sure they’re not gonna be too picky about things like age and experience.”

“If you know this, why haven’t you applied?”

“Because between my classes, the paper, and wanting to spend as much time with this hot guitar player I’ve been seeing, I have zero time. Besides, it’s not like I need the money for anything. Mom’s been saving away for years for my first year of university.”

She has no idea, but I could so lean over right now and kiss the living shit out of her. It’s not exactly the job I think I was born to do, but it is the job that can get me the money I need to be able to do things with her without involving my dad.

It’s freaking perfect.

She was right before. I do have a thing for that word.

After telling Jonah she’d talk to her mom and get the number for the place, she turns her attention to me and leaning in as close as possible, her breath on my ear both tickling and exciting me, she lays out her true plan.

“I’ll go by after school and fill out an application for you. My mom helped them out a few times, so I’m pretty sure you just have to show up to meet them and it’s yours.”

If I didn’t already know I was falling for her, this, her wanting to help me out, would have sealed it.

There’s no doubt. I’m a goner.

Emery

All through lunch I couldn’t stop thinking about what Jonah said.

Sure, I did my best to play along, even telling Christian about the favor my mom was owed so that he had a leg up on getting the job he’s been talking about wanting to get, but it was still there in the back of my head.

What was he looking up and why does it have to do with tattoos?

Christian, in the short time I’ve known him, has to be the most levelheaded person at Greenville. I guess when your dad’s a cop, there are only two ways it can really go. You either do everything you can to be the perfect kid or everything in your power to fight against it. From what I’ve seen, Christian is the former, not the latter.

So why was he looking up tattoos? And better yet, why was he so quick to ditch the laptop from the table when I got there? What didn’t he want me to see?

“Hey, Jo!” I call out after I see him slip his way out of math class. When he slows down and turns, I wave and jog the distance over, taking in the way his eyes lower before looking away.

He doesn’t want to talk to me.

Interesting.

“Make it quick, Carmichael. I got a class downstairs in five and I still gotta hit up my locker.”

“Tell me what you saw at lunch and we’re done.”

“Damnit. I knew I should have kept walking.”

“Jo, come on. Not all that long ago, we were the same way you and Christian are. Tell me what you saw.”

“And make it so you end up going off and he’s coming at me at practice? No thanks.”

Okay, I didn’t want to do this, but it’s obviously time to pull out the big guns since bringing up our past friendship didn’t seem to sway him away from his loyalty to my boyfriend.

“I swear it stays between you and me. I just need to know what he’s hiding. You saw the way he ditched the laptop, right? Why would he do that when he’s never moved it before?”

Running his hand through his hair with a sigh, he reaches out and placing both of his hands on my shoulders, leans in close. A move that for a split second I contemplate stepping back from until he brings his head down close to my ear and starts whispering.