The Space Beyond (The Book of Phoenix) (10 page)

I wasn’t about to go there yet, but, ohmahgosh, what if he was?

“I … uh …” I stammered, trying to answer him because he’d been looking at me so expectantly after putting himself out there. “You mean right now?”

He flinched, and I immediately felt foolish for asking like that, but then he put his hands on his hips, right where his scrubs hung low, and gave a small shrug.

“Yeah, right now. I know it’s a little early for dinner, call it a late lunch if you want, but I’m starving, and you have a long drive home, and I don’t want you on the roads late. Can you stick around the area for another hour or so and allow me the pleasure of buying you dinner?” He took a step closer to me so we were only inches apart, sending my heart into overdrive. Then his gaze dropped to my lips and lingered there long enough for the need to lick them to become overwhelming. I thought I heard his breath hitch when my tongue involuntarily slid out and over, providing the moisture my lips suddenly lacked. He lifted his eyes to mine, and when he spoke, his voice came soft and smooth, like butter on bread fresh out of the oven. “I know it’s asking a lot, but like I said, I’m selfish. If you have to go, I understand, but if you can stay, you’d make me a very happy man. And I’d make sure to return that favor.”

Whoa. Was that not full of promise or what? And I already knew he could deliver. Just asking me out, saying those words made me giddy.

My mind tried to run through what I still needed to do today, but couldn’t move past the first thing of Uncle Troy’s books. Well, those could be done any time, like later tonight.

“Okay,” I said. “I s’pose I could eat now.”

I was actually starving since I hadn’t eaten since before leaving home this morning. The talk of eating made the hunger pangs more noticeable.

“What do you like? Would steak be okay?” he asked.

Wow. I hadn’t had steak in months. Not since we’d had them as a special at Memaw’s and Aunt Faye had accidentally overcooked an order and let me eat it.

“Sounds delicious,” I said, hoping he didn’t hear my stomach growl.

“Great! There’s a Ruth’s Chris down the street. I’ll meet you there in ten minutes. I need to change.” He gestured toward his scrubs, and my eyes, acting on their own because apparently my brain had lost all connection to my body parts, followed his hands and skimmed down to the drawstring of his pants. The top had shifted up a bit over his muscles, revealing a strip of skin and a thin line of dark hair that led down, under his waistband. My mouth went dry. I almost pleaded for him to leave the scrubs on until
I
could take them off.

“See you in a few,” I said before anything else came out on its own. I fumbled to open my door, forgetting that I’d locked it since I was in the city. Dr. Hayes took my keys and opened it for me. I slid inside, and he dropped the keys into my waiting hand. “Thank you, Dr. Hayes.”

He groaned, then leaned down between the door and me, once again impossibly close. “Bex, you’re killing me. I can’t be a doctor taking his patient’s next-of-kin on a date.”

What? Was he bowing out now? I stared straight ahead, too scared to turn toward him.

“Call me Mason.”

“As you wish … Mason.”

“Mmm … Say it again.”

Unable to help it—did I mention I’d lost all control over my body?—I turned my head toward him. He was insanely close, just as I’d feared.

“Say it again,” he said huskily. “What you just said.”

Um … “As you wish, Mason,” I whispered.

His mouth pulled into a wide grin, revealing perfectly straight, white teeth, and his green eyes lit up like I’d just given him the greatest gift ever.

“I could listen to you say that all day, every day,” he said. “And I will have you saying it again.” He winked, then bounced up to his full height and stepped away from the door. “See you in ten.”

Damn. Did I have time to stop at a Wal-Mart and buy some new panties? Mine were definitely ruined.

I pulled into the restaurant parking lot a few minutes later and sat in my car, waiting on him and debating on leaving. I couldn’t see this—whatever it was between us—being anything more than sexual, and I really didn’t have time for that right now. I didn’t have time for anything at all, to be honest. Not with Mama and three jobs and everything else. But what if The One came along, and I ignored him because I was so wrapped up in my shitty life? That’s what kept me in that parking lot, waiting: the thought that maybe, just maybe Dr. Mason Hayes was my soul mate. How would I ever know if I didn’t spend at least an hour having dinner or lunch or whatever with him?

A clawing sound at my window startled the bejesus out of me. Mason, now wearing khakis and a dark purple Polo, pulled my door open and held out his hand. Warmth traveled through me as soon as I touched it. He only let go after he closed and locked my car door, and that was so he could place his hand on the small of my back as he led me to the restaurant’s entrance. Once we were inside, I almost turned around and left. I didn’t know what a Ruth’s Chris was, but it was obviously way fancier than anywhere I’d ever been. My self-confidence took a severe nosedive into the shallow end of a knee-high pond. When I saw the prices on the menu, I had to clench my jaw to keep my mouth from falling open. One steak dinner was more than I made in five days of tips. Maybe I needed to reconsider where I worked.

“Tell me about yourself,” Mason said after giving the waitress our order. He hadn’t asked me what I wanted, but I couldn’t imagine anything being bad here. Everything on the menu made my mouth water.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I want to know everything there is to know about you,” he said, leaning over the shiny, dark wood table.

I glanced around the empty dining room. We were their first customers of the evening, probably because it wasn’t quite evening yet. You wouldn’t know it from inside, though. Heavy crimson-colored drapes covered the windows, and the interior lighting was turned low. An employee moved from table to table, lighting little candles inside the hurricane lanterns. Needing something to do with my hands, I picked up my napkin and laid it out on my lap.

I didn’t know where to start. He thought he wanted to know everything, but he really didn’t. Nobody wanted to know the ugliness of my childhood.

“Start with your favorite color,” Mason suggested when I still hadn’t responded. I smiled gratefully.

“Hot pink,” I said easily. “I’m kind of your girly girl, but not really.”

“A typical Southern girly girl?” he asked with a teasing lilt. “Sweet, dressed up, and always wearing a smile while holding a shotgun on her lap as she drives her pickup through the mud?”

I laughed. “Yes and no. I like pink and black lace. My favorite outfit is a sweet little halter top and cut off shorts with cowboy boots … but I also like miniskirts and heels.”

His leg brushed against mine under the table. “Like you’re wearing right now.”

I laughed again, and it sounded more like a giggle. How embarrassing.

“I definitely noticed,” he said, his voice low. “Those sexy legs stretched out as you leaned against the wall were the first things I noticed.”

“And then what?” I teased as I propped my arms on the table.

His gaze traveled over my face and down, lingering on my chest before coming back up. “Your eyes, of course. But your lips were right after that.”

Again, I couldn’t help but lick them. How come I had that undeniable urge every time he focused on my lips?

“Really?” I drawled, enjoying the look on his face. Like he wanted to devour me.

“I couldn’t wait to hear what they had to say.”

I smiled.

“Or to see that.”

My grin grew while my face heated. I was thankful for the low light because a red face on a redhead wasn’t very attractive.

“Tell me more,” he urged.

“Well, I don’t have a truck, as you know, but I’m not afraid to play in the mud. And I also love to dance.”

“Two-step?”

I groaned. “Not unless you held a gun to my head. Here’s where I stop being the typical Southern, small-town girl you think you have pegged: I hate country music.”

He laughed and leaned back in his seat. “Hate it? All of it?”

“Well, there are a few modern bands I can tolerate, but yeah, pretty much hate it all.”

“So what kind of music pleases those ears of yours?”

“I like some hard rock like Avenged Sevenfold and Godsmack. And what Sissy calls weird stuff like Foo Fighters and Vampire Weekend.”

“Mutemath?”

“Hell, yeah!” I clamped my hand over my mouth and looked around, relieved we were still the only ones in the room.

He laughed then leaned forward again, a new playfulness in his eyes. “I have tickets to next Monday’s show. I’ve seen them before, and they’re wicked awesome live. Especially their drummer.”

“Ohmagosh, I’m so jealous! I’ve seen the videos. I’d do anything to see that in person.”

“Anything?”

I narrowed my eyes. What was he getting at?

“I have two tickets, and my brother couldn’t get the night off, after all. Shame for me to go by myself.”

I gulped. I obviously didn’t mean
anything
, but the only things I wouldn’t do in exchange for any kind of payment—monetary or otherwise—I’d gladly do with him anyway.

“What do you have in mind?”

He gave me a slow smile. “Another date? I already know this hour with you isn’t going to make me happy enough. I need more.”

I wanted to give him more, too. Except … I frowned. “I don’t know when I’ll get another night off.”

“Maybe you can work out next Monday? Surely your bosses will understand. It’s
Mutemath
.”

I laughed. “Liz’beth might, but Sullivan’s? They’d think I was asking for tutoring or something stupid like that. Then again …” I trailed off as I considered it. Sullivan’s was closed Mondays. Not a chance I would be on that schedule. And Elizabeth might be willing to let me off after breakfast shift that morning, especially if I promised to see Mama while I was here. Driving home that late was a problem, though, and if I stayed at Mama’s apartment with Sissy, that meant needing the next morning off, too. “I’ll have to see if I can work things out.”

“Tell me what to do to make it happen, and it’s done. Anything.”

“Anything?” I teased.

“Anything,” he said flatly.

The waitress arrived with our food before I could make any suggestions that I’d never expect him to actually do. The subject changed to other favorites, then to birthdays, stories from school—college for him and high school for me—and other light topics. We skimmed over family and barely touched on any history. He only told me that he grew up in a suburb of Philadelphia, graduated high school at sixteen, and put himself through college and med school. He came down here for his residency, and the brother he’d mentioned was a fraternity brother. He made no mention of any real kin, and since he already knew more than I’d ever choose to tell him about my family, I didn’t press for details. I understood everyone had family secrets, and since we’d just met, I had no right to ask his.

We never did finish our conversation about Mama.

“I hate the idea of you driving by yourself this far, in this car, and with no phone,” Mason said when we’d returned to my car. He took my keys from me again to open the door.

“I’ll be fine.”

“I still don’t like it. Is there at least some way you can call me when you get home? Just so I know that you made it?”

I did still have books to do in the park office. “Yeah, I could. If I had your number.”

He fished his wallet out of his back pocket and withdrew a business card from it. When I slid it from his fingers, I couldn’t help but think about how close it had been to his perfectly sculpted ass (scrubs leave little to the imagination).

“Be safe,” he said before leaning down toward me. His lips barely touched my forehead when I leaned my head back to look up at him, causing them to skirt down my nose. His kiss landed on the tip, but when he pulled slightly back, he was staring at my lips again. “You’re seriously trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

“Would you die happy?”

“Only after this.”

His mouth skimmed over mine, but I didn’t let him go so easily. I grasped his bottom lip between both of mine, and next thing I knew, he had me pressed against the car with his hips, his hands framing my face, and his tongue exploring my mouth. Holy. Fuck. He was hot, smart, a damn doctor, and the best kisser I’d ever known. By a long shot, which was saying a hell of a lot. He kissed me like he was doing some of kind of delicate but urgent procedure with his lips to my mouth. My belly dropped. Chills swept over my skin. My thighs trembled, and my toes curled within thirty seconds of his lips touching mine. I had to push him away because I swore I was about to have an orgasm.

“Go,” he ordered, his voice husky and his eyes a stormy gray with desire as he stepped backwards. “Go before we get arrested for public indecency.”

I chuckled giddily. “You think I’d—”

“Not you. Me. I don’t have the self-control to be decent with you a second longer.”

Chapter 10

With my mind replaying the events of the day, the two-hour drive flew by. Once I turned into the trailer park a little before sundown, I barely remembered the drive at all, which was a little scary, because it was like I was there and then suddenly here. I could have run someone off the road and not even noticed. My car’s clock showed 7:42 and I still had work to do, so I parked my car at home and made a beeline for the office.

Sissy and I’d been helping Grams out with her RV and trailer parks since Mama dropped us off when I was nine and Sissy was eight years old. At first, we helped clean up the grounds, but Grams brought us in to help in the office when we started high school. My Uncle Troy, Mama’s big brother, took over the business after Grams passed. Sissy quit to take care of Mama, but I thought also to get away from our uncle. He was a lot less pleasant to work for. Less pleasant as in he was a total asshole.

He blamed Mama for Grams’ death, because she’d died of a heart attack less than a week after The Call. He said her heart couldn’t take the shock of Mama suddenly reappearing in all our lives. Maybe he was right. He often took his frustration with Mama out on Sissy and me, starting by forcing us to move out of the apartment adjacent to the office where we’d lived with Grams for twelve years. He gave us free lot rent for the trailer Grams had given Mama and Daddy when they got married, so at least we had a home right there. I tried not to complain too much. Even though we still had to pay utilities, the free rent saved me over three hundred bucks a month.

By the time I finished the month’s closeout of the books, Grams’ grandfather clock in the apartment where Uncle Troy lived now had chimed in nine o’clock. Before I left, I wanted to check a few things out about Mama on the Internet, and this was my only access to a computer. That’s when I remembered to call Mason.

“I’m here,” I said as soon as he answered, maybe a little too excitedly at the sound of his voice.

“Do you have any idea how close I was to jumping in the car and heading that way to make sure you weren’t in the ditch or something?” He paused with only the sound of a deep breath coming through from his end. “What took you so long?”

“Sorry, but I’m not used to having to check in with anyone.”

Another moment of silence. “Shit. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound like a douchebag. It’s just that I haven’t stopped thinking of you or that smile of yours or those … lips since the moment you left. I hate not being able to call you, even just to hear your voice.”

“Well, you can hear it now. Just don’t ask me to sing. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.”

“So talk to me. About anything.”

I rolled the office chair a bit to the right to grab a pen and paper. “I’m so glad you said that, because we didn’t talk about Mama at all.”

Was that a groan from him? “You want to talk about work, huh?”

Oh. I hadn’t considered that. He was home, likely chilled out for the night, so his work was probably the last thing he wanted to discuss.

“I’m teasing,” he said. “Let’s talk about your mother.”

“Thank you. I wanted to look some things up but I can’t remember all the medical mumbo jumbo you were rattlin’ off earlier.”

“Does this mean you have a computer? Email?” A new interest lit up his voice.

“Computer, sometimes. Email, no. And no, no Facebook or Twitterin’ for me. Enough people around here know my business better than I do, so why bother posting it? It’d take the fun out of hearing their gossip. Besides, I’m on my uncle’s computer at the office.”

“You’re at work?”

“Yep. So see, you aren’t the only one sort of not working right now. So what was it you said Mama has?”

He patiently went over her many illnesses and disorders with me, spelling each one out so I could write them down. He also gave me the names of the drug treatments he could give her and the government and social programs that could help with the costs. A knock at the office door interrupted us just as we’d moved on to other subjects, such as how much we both enjoyed dinner, and I glanced out the window at the figure illuminated by the floodlight, holding a plate of food in one hand and two beers in the other.

Oh, shit.

“Mason, I gotta go.”

“Is everything okay?”

I sighed. “I hope so. I mean, yeah, it’s fine. Just something with a friend.”

“Call me soon?”

Another knock on the door. My heart sank with guilt.

“When I can. I really gotta go.” And I pretty much hung up on him.

I rushed to the door and threw it open. “I’m so sorry, Ty!”

“Figured I’d find you here when I saw you pull up, but you never came over.” He held the plate toward me. “As promised, I brought you dinner.”

A grilled hamburger on a bun and potato salad filled the plate. He’d made the burger exactly as I liked it—no ketchup, mustard, and sweet pickle chips. It’d been several hours since filling myself to the gills with the heavenly steak and potato, but I had little desire to eat again. I’d already screwed up, though, and didn’t want to hurt Ty’s feelings, so I took the plate and a beer and motioned him to sit across the desk from me as I sat back down.

“How’d it go?” he asked. “You seem better than I thought you’d be. I was ’fraid you’d be half-drunk before you even got home.”

“It wasn’t as bad as I expected,” I admitted around a small bite of lukewarm burger I had in my mouth. I pulled on my beer to wash it down, then pushed the potato salad around my plate with the plastic fork he’d brought. The salad definitely came from Memaw’s, which meant it was homemade by Aunt Faye. I used to live on the stuff, to the point that I could barely stand it anymore. Even if I’d been starving, I wouldn’t have been able to stomach it. “It was … weird, ya know? I wanted to hate her, even tried to pick a couple of fights. But she’s so sick, Ty. I … I didn’t know what to think or feel anymore.”

I told him how bad she looked and how she’d fallen asleep in an instant and I’d thought she’d died right there and then. I told him about meeting with Dr. Hayes—leaving out the part about dinner or the sex-in-a-kiss—and explained as best as I could about Mama’s condition. I showed him the page of notes in front of me.

“You trust this doctor already?” Ty asked skeptically.

For some reason, maybe because I went on a date and kissed said doctor, the remark felt like a jab.

“He’s her doctor, so, yeah, I do. He seemed to really care about her.” The words came out harsher than I intended, and I didn’t tell him that I never actually saw him interact with Mama. In fact, I didn’t realize that until now. Mama and Sissy didn’t have any complaints at all about him—in fact, just the opposite—so surely he was good with her. He sounded completely caring and concerned when he talked to me, and he really wanted to help her get better with new treatments. “Why
wouldn’t
I trust him?”

Ty held his hands up. “Whoa, now. Settle them horses. I’m just sayin’ that maybe you should think about getting a second opinion. I mean, if ya’ll really want to see if her life can be saved, ya know?”

I relaxed, feeling silly about getting so protective over Dr. Hayes when Ty had no clue what my personal feelings were for Mason. He was trying to be the friend he’d promised to be.

“Sorry,” I said as I dropped my head into my hands and massaged my temples. “Feelin’ a little stressed out here.”

The sound of a chair scraping on the linoleum was followed by two footsteps and then warm hands on my shoulders. Ty squeezed and kneaded the tension away, massaging a path from my neck to the middle of my back. When he went lower, it felt a little too intimate for comfort. Especially after my time with Mason, as short as it was. I coughed and moved back in the chair so he couldn’t reach me anymore.

“Yeah, you’re probably right about that second opinion. But first, I need to see what I can find out about all these things she has.” I pushed the plate still covered with potato salad and more than half the burger to the side and pulled the keyboard in front of me. “Thanks for dinner. Sorry I wasn’t very hungry, though.”

Ty took the hint. He gave my shoulders a final squeeze and planted a kiss on the top of my head. “Don’t forget to get your beauty rest.”

I spun the office chair around. “Ty Daniels! What’s that supposed to mean?”

He laughed. “Nothing, boo. Just tryin’ to wake you up.” He leaned down and put his hands on the armrests of my chair, placing his face only inches from mine. I thought he might try for more than a kiss on the head, and I panicked at the thought. It wouldn’t have been the first time I’d kissed two guys in one day, but I really wasn’t up for it now. Especially with Ty. “You’re always beautiful, sweetheart. But I’m worried about you. Do you ever sleep? Relax? Have fun?”

I blew out a sigh, and he must not have liked my hamburger breath, because he pushed away and straightened up.

“No time for such nonsense,” I said, even though I’d at least had an hour today of nothing but fun and could possibly be going to a concert in less than a week. For some reason, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell Ty about all of that. Well, I knew the reason—Ty himself. He was a fighter, and knowing he had competition would only make him push harder.

“Bex,” he said, and I craned my neck back to look up at his face. “I seen some things while I was gone. Stop taking life so seriously and enjoy it while you can. You never know when your last day is.” He tweaked my chin, kissed me on the head again and strode for the door. “I’m here if you need anything. I won’t leave you again.”

But then he did just that. Strode out the door and left me in the dark office. Of course, he’d only be a hundred yards away in the trailer where he grew up, lefty by his daddy who’d passed away right before Ty graduated high school. His mama had died in a car wreck when we were six, right before my mama took Sissy and me away. Poor Ty. Except for an aunt who’d moved north before he was even born and whom he barely knew, he was all alone. Maybe that’s why he’d come back for me—the only family he had. He’d left me to get away from it all, and maybe that’s what he’d needed to realize where his home still was. If only I could be for him what he wanted me to be. But I didn’t think anything could convince me that we were right for each other. That he was my soul mate. I just didn’t feel it anymore.

Now Dr. Mason Hayes? I dared to hope that maybe he
was
The One. After all, I’d never felt anything before like I did with him. As I made my way across the trailer park after a little Internet research, I tried to imagine a life with the sexy doctor. Being a doctor’s wife, with a big home and beautiful children and fancy cars and no jobs except volunteer work to help homeless kids. My imagination apparently wasn’t creative enough, though, because I couldn’t see it clearly. Not with
me
as part of the picture, with my pierced nose and tats and my poor, small-town upbringing.

Sadness washed over me, along with a heavy feeling of darkness. It had been a long, tough day with a whirlwind of emotions, but this feeling I had now was different. A deep sense of gloom that didn’t come from only one hard day, but from a lifetime of them, and the kind that never went away. Something felt seriously wrong. Elizabeth’s warning yesterday was getting to me, but she was the empath, not me. I couldn’t possibly be feeling what I was. I clasped my hand over the back of my neck where the hairs began to rise and looked up. There must have been no moon tonight because the sky was pitch black. So dark, I suddenly felt cold and shivered. Not until I was inside did I wonder why I couldn’t see the stars either. As I crashed into bed for a few hours of sleep before I had to open the diner, the last thing I saw was a nearly full moon shining through my curtains, high above the trees.

Where had it been just a few minutes ago?

*  *  *

“I think you’re downin’ more coffee than the customers,” Elizabeth said the next day as we wrapped up the breakfast rush and prepared for the lunch crowd at noon.

“I didn’t sleep a wink last night,” I said as I poured my fourth cup of the day.

“You felt it, too, didn’t you?” she asked. “Don’t have to be an empath to feel it anymore. Somethin’s going on in this town, and it’s only gonna get worse. I’m half fixin’ to pack up and get out while I can.”

My brow raised as I leaned against the counter and sipped my coffee. “It’s that bad?”

“It’s not good, baby girl. But the sick part of me wants to stick around and watch it go down.” She turned her full gaze on me. “You, though, oughta high-tail it outta here, hun. You already have more darkness in you than any one person should have, ’specially at your age.”

I rolled my eyes. She was always telling me that I needed help. She thought I’d been through way too much for someone to handle on her own. Sure, I screwed up sometimes, but for the most part, I thought I handled things just fine. I (usually) did the right thing and went to church every Sunday like a good, God-fearing Southern girl. Yeah, life had been crappy, but I was turning out all right, I thought. Any darkness she sensed in me was only temporary. Once I found me a good man—the one I knew was out there specifically for me—it would be gone. Not that I thought I, or any woman, needed a good man to be happy or that all my problems would miraculously disappear when I met The One. Far from it. But I held onto the belief that when you had true love, when you shared life and all its foulness with your soul mate, all those problems were a little easier to shoulder.