The Sixteen (10 page)

‘Impressed?’ he asked calmly.

‘Yeah. But how did they do it? What on earth destroyed those turnips?’ I asked him.

‘Never mind that now, you’ll find out later. By the way, call me Ken.’

The table we sat at was bare except for my cup of tea. It appeared to be very old with some of the knots pushed out of the wood, and
there were marks on it where knives had scratched the surface and several names had been carved into it.

‘You obviously realise that things like this don’t just happen overnight. This hasn’t just been a random decision. We’ve gone to a lot of trouble to get you here,’ Ken said, ‘and a considerable amount of time has been spent observing you before selection. I don’t want to have to go into an explanation as to how or why we arrived at that decision, but be aware that we don’t do anything without a very good reason,’ he said slowly, emphasising his words, then paused briefly before continuing: ‘So, just accept it, Geordie. There is one very important thing that you must understand – nothing of what you see or hear can ever be repeated. Officially, this place does not exist.’

Somehow, I didn’t think so! I thought. This has got to be a dream or maybe a nightmare!

‘But why am I here?’ I asked him, still confused.

‘Well, as Dynamo rightly said, we know all about you, Geordie. We’ve been watching you for a long time now and have brought you here because we think you have the necessary ability and skills to join us. With the right training, we know you will become just what we are looking for.’

Now I knew I was dreaming – me have the same skills as these guys? He had to be joking.

‘I need to explain some things to you and as I have a lot to say we are going to be here for quite a while,’ Ken went on.

I noticed that it was very quiet now. There was no noise coming from any activity in the training area outside the room, which had apparently ceased and the men had gone, although I hadn’t heard them leave. Now Ken and I appeared to be completely alone. I presumed Spot had brought in the large tea urn that stood in the corner of the room; as he’d said, it looked as though we were going to be here for some time.

Ken was speaking to me again. ‘Now concentrate on what I’m saying.’

‘Look, Ken, what about my truck?’

‘Forget about it, Geordie, it will be exactly where you left it when you return,’ he reassured me. ‘We’ll make sure you’re back in plenty of time; your truck will be waiting, your papers will all be in order and no one will suspect that you have been anywhere other than where you should have been. Trust me.’

I silently prayed that he was telling the truth. I’d be in a lot of trouble otherwise.

‘I see the stammer has gone – we knew our little plan would work!’ he added with a wry smile.

‘Eh! So, it was you lot! How on earth did you manage that?’ I’d been right to think there was something strange going on, it was no wonder Lieutenant Stevens hadn’t been able to understand the orders. But Christ, just who were these people and how were they able to arrange stuff like that?

‘Forget about it, it’s just not important,’ Ken said.

He sat chatting to me in a calm, friendly way for a while, asking all sorts of questions about me and then about my sense of duty and loyalty to my country. I answered him as best as I could but mainly just sat at the table feeling very uncomfortable, not really knowing what to expect next.

Ken rested his arms in front of him on the table and sat quietly watching me for a few moments, then he leaned towards me and stared straight into my eyes. It was unnerving; I couldn’t meet his gaze and kept looking away from him in embarrassment. Without taking his eyes off mine, he took a coin out of his pocket and started spinning it on the table top, staring at me the whole time.

‘We have all experienced fear at some time in our lives. It can be a real problem and get you killed. When you are confronted by
someone who wants to kill you, you have to be in complete control at all times. If fear gets in the way you will surely die. So, Geordie, if you listen to me carefully and concentrate on what I am saying, then I am sure we can do something about it! Don’t ask how, just concentrate. Are you afraid of dying?’ he asked, still playing with the coin, his manner totally relaxed and casual.

I couldn’t understand where all this was leading to.

‘I’m sure you won’t have heard of the “One Step Beyond”, Geordie, but this is a process by which we make you look at life in a totally different way. We hope this will give you the ability to cope with anything and to make sure that you never suffer from fear again.’

‘I don’t understand,’ I said. It was true – I hadn’t a clue what he was talking about.

‘Neither did I, Geordie, neither did I,’ he said, his gaze on me intense and direct.

‘I can see that you’re shocked by all of this, aren’t you?’

‘You can say that again!’

‘Do you want to go ahead?’

‘Yes, I do. I don’t quite know what I’ve let myself in for but I’m intrigued by what little I’ve seen so far and I’m not backing out now.’

‘That’s the way, lad. I thought that’s what you would say. Right, let’s get on with it!’

He began to talk about life in general, the effects of getting old and how soon I could die. On and on throughout the rest of that day and into the night he kept repeating similar things. He emphasised that one had to have a definite purpose for doing anything, even for living. Hour after hour he spent convincing me that life wasn’t worth living. I didn’t understand what he was doing or what was happening; he was driving me crazy.

‘What’s the point of going on?’ he kept asking. ‘At the end of the day you are going to die, no matter what. Life is pointless, futile. In the end you will grow old, and you can’t stop it.’

To add emphasis to what he was saying, he produced a folder and showed me pictures from it of old people, sick people, people with deformities, pointing out the inevitability of it all.

After hours of this I was utterly confused, my head hurt and my body felt numb. I was disorientated and wanted things to end there and then but he just kept on spinning that damn coin. He eyeballed me constantly – telling me over and over that life wasn’t worth living, his eyes never leaving me for a second. I hardly knew where I was, I was so tired and my eyelids were so heavy, I could barely keep my eyes open but he just kept on and on. His face was just a blur on the other side of the table.

Suddenly he stopped spinning the coin and put his hand beneath the table. He drew out a service revolver, which he then placed directly in front of me with the handle pointing towards me.

‘This will solve your problems,’ he said very quietly and pushed it towards me.

It all made sense. He was right. I was only eighteen but didn’t want to live just to grow old and sick. Tears were pouring down my face, blurring my vision even more; I could barely make out the gun in front of me. I reached out and placed my hand on top of it then picked it up, it felt so heavy. I was shaking; the gun seemed to weigh a ton. Ken was staring directly at me and I couldn’t look away.

Sobbing, I placed the gun at the side of my face and he smiled slowly. I squeezed the trigger but nothing happened, my finger just couldn’t seem to exert enough pressure to pull it. Slowly Ken reached out, grasped my wrist and gently took the gun out of my hand.

‘Don’t be stupid, Geordie,’ he said softly.

Picking up the gun and my cup he walked towards the urn, filled the cup with tea and placed it in front of me as he put the gun back under the table.

Although I hadn’t been physically knocked about, it certainly felt as though I had. I was utterly exhausted and couldn’t focus properly. I felt as though I was in a dream, or a nightmare. Although I could see his lips moving the words seemed to be delayed, reaching my ears seconds later. I wanted to sleep but he kept on talking to me, telling me to drink my tea. He was completely relaxed, sitting back in his chair drinking, no longer staring at me. Gradually my head began to clear again and I relaxed.

Then, when I least expected it, his whole tack changed. He leaned forward again, placed his elbows on the table and looked directly at me.

‘You just can’t give up, Geordie. Yes, you are going to die, we all are, it’s inevitable but your mother didn’t bring you into this world for nothing,’ he went on quietly. ‘You don’t want to disappoint her, do you?’

I was totally confused now. ‘But you just said that living was a waste of time!’

‘Yes, I did. But look at it this way; we don’t know how long we have so what the hell have you got to lose? You were brought here for a purpose, Geordie, you are very important to us. The things that you are about to embark on would be a nightmare to any ordinary soldier. You can leave now if you want but if you stay, by the end of this programme you will not fear anything! We understand that you will want to tell people what has happened here, but no one will ever believe you. Most of what you have just gone through you won’t even be able to remember clearly.’

On and on throughout the rest of the night he kept telling me
about how important life was. This was completely opposite to what he had been telling me before. I was so confused and desperately tired. I couldn’t understand how any of this was going to get rid of my fear.

‘Let me try to explain, Geordie. Fear is a natural phenomenon found in both the animal and the human world. It is an inbuilt process that all living things are born with in order to cope with and survive in their surroundings. When danger is perceived the body floods the bloodstream with the hormone adrenalin. The effects of adrenalin prepare the body for flight or fight or to run around like a headless chicken, or you simply just freeze on the spot. It affects everyone in a different way but it does not always help us to survive. The aim of the One Step Beyond is to control fear, give us the ability to control this function and prevent this process from taking place.

‘Well I don’t think you will be frightened to take risks or fear death any longer because of what you have just been through, and you will find this very hard to believe,’ Ken now told me. ‘You will know that death is inevitable but because you will not be frightened by death you will have no fear of its inevitability; it will be just a game to you and the game is to stay alive. You don’t know what – if anything – is beyond death.’

He continued: ‘So you might as well enjoy life to the full. You will grow older, but you can control your ageing by keeping fit and active, staying young in mind and body, not smoking or drinking, keeping an open mind. If you get rid of the fear of death itself, prevent things happening to you, control and handle situations, then you won’t be frightened to do things. It is the fear of death that holds us back. Death is still inevitable but how you die can be controlled.’

Although I still didn’t fully understand, I began to see the truth in what he was saying. He had spent hours breaking me down
and now he was building me back up. Something very strange had happened to me, as if overnight I had suddenly grown up. I felt that I had passed their test, but he made no mention of that and the next thing I remembered was being woken by the clatter of pots being brought into the room. Lifting my head from the table where I had fallen asleep, I saw Spot, Chalky and Dynamo carrying food containers into the room, which they put on to the table in front of me. I felt dazed and unsure of my surroundings.

‘Come on, Geordie, you have done a lot of work in the last four days,’ Dynamo said.

‘Eh? Did I hear you right?’ I blurted out. But he just stood there with a huge smile on his face and kept on pouring out some tea.

‘Surely that can’t be possible! Four days?’ I queried in total confusion.

‘Oh yes Geordie, believe me.’

‘But four days, here? Here in this room you mean?’

Pausing from what he was doing he now turned fully towards me and, still smiling, said, ‘Well no, not exactly. The first day you were in this room. But the rest of the time you were down there training with us.’ He nodded towards their training area beyond the broken window.

‘That can’t be right Dynamo. I don’t remember that.’

‘No, but that’s the whole idea! You can’t remember because Ken had to switch off your conscious brain so you won’t be able to remember anything Geordie. You may have heard of people sleepwalking and even killing someone while still in that state, or of others who have been put under hypnosis then asked to do silly things like taking their clothes off, and when they wake up they don’t remember doing any of it at all. That’s because it was their subconscious that was doing it. Do you see Geordie? When you go to sleep your conscious brain switches off. It goes to sleep, but
your subconscious is like a movie camera, it records everything. That’s how you have dreams and you see pictures that seem so real and if they are good, when someone wakes you up you may become upset or angry, but if it is a terrible dream it can turn into a nightmare, where you wake up terrified or even screaming and sweating because it felt so real. Just look at what happens to drug addicts and alcoholics. If they don’t get a fix then they live in a different world to the rest of us because their subconscious is out of control.’ He paused to take a drink of his tea.

‘So where do you get these dreams from?’ I asked him, fascinated and wanting to know more.

‘It’s something you have seen in the past,’ he told me. ‘What Ken did was put you to sleep, to switch your conscious brain off. So we know how to programme your subconscious to accept and remember “The Machine”.’

‘I just can’t see how that’s possible, to physically take part in something over four days and not remember anything about it. How is that possible?’

‘We know how it’s done. They taught us.’

‘Who taught you?’

‘Look you don’t need to know, you don’t need to remember.’

The three of them now sat down at the table while Dynamo continued talking to me:

‘What you have learnt in four days should have taken months, it’s called programming. Don’t ask any more questions. You are very weak and probably a bit numb – if you pinch yourself you won’t feel it. Oh, by the way, you’ll find that you have a few loose teeth at the back and they will probably fall out soon.’