The Silence of the Chihuahuas (25 page)

The Chinese Room on the top floor of the Smith Tower was the most elegant venue for a wedding and reception that I'd ever seen. The way it was decorated was fantastic: ornate coffered ceilings, intricately-carved pieces of furniture and a carpet with an Oriental pattern of cherry branches. One wall was painted a deep Chinese red and the others were covered with wallpaper displaying vivid wild flowers. And the view was astounding. Floor to ceiling windows on three sides provided a view of Seattle from the docks to the Space Needle. An observation deck ran around the outside.

Since it was Halloween, Brad and Jay had decided all the guests should come to their wedding in costume. After much deliberation, Pepe decided to dress as Cupid because he was still attached to the idea of being a Love Dog. So he wore a pair of small, shiny, gold wings with a little gold bow and arrow hanging at his side.

“Adorable, am I not?” he asked me, appraising himself in the mirror just before we left for the wedding.

“Very,” I told him.

Then he turned to me and said, “But I do not approve of your costume, partner.”

“Too bad,” I said, studying myself in the mirror on the closet door in my bedroom. I had decided to go as a lion to match Felix's costume as an animal trainer. I was wearing a body-hugging caramel-colored fleece jumpsuit with a big net ruff around my neck and two felt ears attached to a headband nestled in among my curls. A tail with a pouf at the end of it attached to my rear end completed the look, along with some fuzzy boots.

“You just don't like cats,” I said.

“They are evil creatures,” said Pepe, glaring at Albert the Cat who sat on the bed watching us and pretending to be disinterested. “At least, you will have Felix to keep you in line.”

Felix was waiting for us in the living room and he looked magnificent in a shiny red coat with yellow epaulets, tight white pants tucked into shiny black boots and a top hat. Of course, he carried a small whip in his hand and pretended to flick it at me as I came into the room.

“Down, girl!” he said as I pretended to pounce on him.

 

 

We arrived at the Smith Tower thirty minutes before the wedding was to begin. Almost forty stories tall, it had been the highest building west of the Mississippi when it was built in 1914. Now it is dwarfed by some of the larger skyscrapers in the Seattle downtown, but it's still impressive. I particularly liked the copper and brass elevator, which was operated by an old-fashioned elevator operator wearing a uniform with gold braid on the collar and sleeves.

He seemed to find our costumes hysterical, especially me and Fuzzy, because we were both dressed as lions, although Fuzzy's costume was minimal, just a beige ruff around her neck. “A little one and a big one,” he said, shaking his head and looking at Felix. “You're going to have a hard time taming those two.”

About half the guests had arrived when we went inside. Everyone was in costume, even Jimmy G, who had eschewed the private eye look to dress more like a forties gangster with a shiny grey double-breasted suit and a plastic Tommy gun slung over his shoulder. Also on his shoulder was Amber, playing the role of gun moll, at least I think that's what she was supposed to be, in a skin-tight red dress and a fur wrap and a long black cigarette holder.

She came hobbling across to greet us, a bit hampered by her tight skirt. “Don't you two look cute,” she said, giving me a pouty little air kiss. “What do you think of Amber and Jimmy?” She waved at herself and Jimmy G who came up behind her, an unlit cigar clenched in his teeth.

“You guys look great together,” I said. I still wasn't sure if they were dating or if Amber just enjoyed playing girl Friday to Jimmy G's private dick persona. What I did know for sure was that she wasn't marrying Jeff. My sister Cheryl still wasn't speaking to me. For some reason, she blamed it all on me.

“Going for the gangster look,” said Jimmy G, resting his arm on Amber's shoulder. “Seeing as how we put away a notorious gangster.”

Well that wasn't really true. Phil Pugnetti had been convicted of conspiracy to commit murder based on Teri's testimony, and it didn't help that he was facing additional charges for discharging his weapon in a public park, endangering the lives of many.

“Hey, I was the one who put down Pugnetti!” said Pepe indignantly.

“You and the other dogs,” I said. “Where's Party Girl?” I asked Amber.

“She's partying, of course,” said Amber. “That was a joke. She's here somewhere.”

“Did you get a costume for her to wear?” I asked.

“Yes, she's a princess,” said Amber.

“I must find her!” said Pepe. “And shoot her with my arrows of love. I will sweep her off her four feet.” With that, he dashed across the room, his wings flapping, and disappeared into the crowd.

Brad and Jay came up to us, both dressed in powder-gray tuxes with tails and matching top hats and sporting lilac bowties.

“That was Pepe as Cupid who came flying by, wasn't it?” Brad asked me.

“He's got romance on his mind,” I told him.

“So do we,” said Jay. He and Brad smiled at each other. They had been inseparable ever since Brad was released from the hospital. He still had not completely recovered his memory of that traumatic day when Harry had hit him over the head with a hammer and he woke up next to Mrs. Fairchild's corpse, but with Jay's help and some counseling, he was getting back to work and had managed to pay the landlord the back rent.

“I hope you haven't forgotten the rings,” Brad told me.

“No way,” I said. I showed them the gold chain I wore around my wrist. Two gold rings dangled from it. “I put them both on this gold chain for Pepe to wear as your ring bearer.”

“Wonderful,” said Brad. “I love having Cupid as our ring bearer.”

“Me too,” said Jay.

“Say,” said Amber. “You're both out here together. Isn't it bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?”

“Honey,” said Jay, “since both of us are grooms, it doesn't matter.”

“Oh . . .” said Amber, giggling. “I guess that's true.”

I noticed a middle-aged man in black, wearing a clerical collar. He was standing by the south-facing window, talking to Mickey and Minnie Mouse. “Is that the minister?” I asked Brad.

“No, that's just Fred. He always dresses like a priest on Halloween. He gets a kick out of giving benedictions to everybody.”

 

 

“Geri!” I turned around and saw my sister, Teri. She must have just arrived. She was dressed as a hippie, wearing a pale green long skirt, an embroidered blouse, and a garland of flowers in her hair. A tiny purple velvet purse hung from a cord looped around her waist.

“Peace!” she said, flashing me the peace symbol.

“I'm so glad you made it,” I said, giving her a hug. She had been staying with me ever since the trial, but she had left over the weekend on a mysterious errand. I wasn't quite sure where she was going and I was a little bit worried. Would I lose her again?

“I've got great news,” she said. “I've been hired as a woof.”

“What's a woof?” Felix asked.

“A worker on an organic farm,” said Teri. “And you'll never guess where I'm working?”

“No, I can't guess,” I said. “Where?”

“Sequim!” she said with a squeal. “I'm working for your friend Colleen Carpenter on her lavender farm. She's paying me a stipend and giving me free room and board.”

“That's awesome!” I said. I liked Colleen and thought she would probably be a great boss. “How did you manage to hook up with Colleen?”

“She called one day when you were out,” said Teri, “and I told her about how I was looking for a job and she invited me to come check out her farm. Things are quiet right now but that's OK because she needs help doing the craft projects with all the lavender she harvested.”

“Congratulations,” I said. I wasn't sure whether to be sad because my sister was moving on or happy because I would get my couch back. Pepe had been quite put out because he couldn't watch as much TV as he liked with Teri sleeping in the living room.

“And look!” said Teri, with excitement. She pulled a photo out of the tiny velvet purse. “I'm adopting one of Phoebe's puppies! Pretty soon, I'll have my own dog to talk to.”

I studied the photo which showed a tiny funny-looking fuzzy dog with big ears, big brown eyes, and a body dappled with black and white. She didn't look like Pepe and yet she looked a lot like Pepe. “I'm calling her Pepita!” said Teri happily.

Brad, who had been listening to our conversation, looked over my shoulder. “Oh my God! That is the most adorable thing I have ever seen,” he said. “Are there more where she came from? Jay finally agreed we could adopt a dog because he knows how much I've always wanted one.”

“I'm told there are four more,” I said.

“Yes, but they're going like hotcakes,” said Teri. “I think the people next door with the cocker spaniels are going to adopt one as well.”

Just then, somebody rang a gong. I hadn't noticed it before, but it hung on a black-lacquered stand in the corner. The woman who rang it was quite striking. She was heavyset, almost as wide as she was tall, and she had long flowing grey hair. She wore a long black dress with dramatic sleeves that fluttered around her hands.

“Oh, I guess she's dressed as a witch,” I said, noticing her black fingernail polish.

“She is a witch!” said Brad. “That's Luna Llewellyn and she's going to marry us.”

“Yes, you should get your dog,” said Jay. “That's the signal that the wedding's about to begin. We need our ring bearer.”

Brad and Jay encouraged everyone to take a seat as Felix and I went in search of Pepe.

“Boy,” he told me. “You sure know some of the strangest people.”

He was right, I thought as we picked our way through the tide of costumed folks, which included zombies, cowboys, a Klingon, and Big Bird.

We finally found Pepe in a corner with Fuzzy and Party Girl. The two girl dogs seemed very cozy, curled up next to each other, while Pepe stood to the side, his little tail down.

“What is it Pepe?” I asked.

“My arrow of love went in the wrong direction,” he said, staring gloomily at Fuzzy and Party Girl. “They prefer their own company to me.”

“That's OK,” I said. “I've got something that will cheer you up! But it will have to wait until after the ceremony.”

We found seats behind Jimmy G and Amber. The wedding was dramatic, to say the least. Luna got our attention by waving around a large knife, which she used to inscribe a magic circle around the assembled company, muttering to herself as she drew it. She called upon the Spirits of the East and South, West and North in a ringing voice. She called upon the god Pan and asked him to stir up some mischief and she called upon the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite, and asked her to shower us with pleasure. She lit candles and burned sage and poured water and sprinkled salt around, all to create a sacred space.

Then she asked Brad and Jay to stand in front of her. They held each other's hands and recited their vows to each other, promising to live together in harmony for the rest of their lives.

“And now for the rings!” said Luna, in a voice that seemed like it was so commanding it was echoing back from the distant mountains.

I slipped the gold chain over Pepe's neck and he went running up to the front, as everyone oohed and ahhed at the sight of the little Cupid. Not to be outdone, Fuzzy and Party Girl ran up there too and sat to either side of Jay and Brad, like attendants. Lots of cameras clicked and flashed, trying to capture that tableau.

Luna wrapped colored cords around the hands of Jay and Brad, saying that she was “handfasting” them. I shuddered a little at that. It reminded me too much of the cords that Harry had wrapped around me. Once taken into custody, he had quickly confessed and was now serving a sentence of fifty years in the state prison.

More cameras clicked and flashed as Luna pronounced Brad and Jay “man and man” and told them they could kiss.

It was a long heartfelt kiss and I felt my heart flutter as Felix took my hand in his. Then Luna dismissed the spirits and thanked the god and goddess and enlarged the magic circle so we could all stay within it as we celebrated their union.

 

 

“That was really beautiful,” Felix told me as we got in line for the bar.

“Geri, have I told you that I have been to many weddings conducted by a witch?” Pepe asked me. He always likes to insert himself into my conversations, especially my conversations with Felix.

“You have?” I asked.

“
Si
, I worked with a witch in the Yucatan,” he said. “Her name was Gisella Sanchez.”

“Have what?” asked Felix, turning to me puzzled.

“Pepe's just telling me another one of his stories,” I said.

“Oh really, what's this one about?” asked Felix lightly.

“She used me for love spells,” Pepe went on. “She said that Chihuahuas were the best dogs for that sort of thing. She assisted many villagers to find their true loves.”

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you,” I said, smiling. I had finally given up on convincing other people that Pepe talked. I certainly wasn't going to share his ridiculous stories. I wasn't even sure they were real.

“Have you heard anything from Fuzzy lately?” I asked as we got near the front of the line and ordered our drinks, champagne for me, a Perrier for Felix.