The Shameless Life of Ruiz Acosta (9 page)

‘Ruiz—’ That was as far as she got.

‘I want you,’ he said. ‘What you see is what you get with me, Holly. There is no hidden agenda. And I think you want me too. Am I wrong?’

How could she deny it? Confronted by this much strength of will she might have expected to feel weak or vulnerable, but she felt neither of those things. She felt strong. The strongest man she had ever known had made her feel confident in her own right.

‘Are we going to stand here all day?’ he demanded, brushing his lips against her cheek and then her neck. ‘Or am I going to take you to bed?’

She was on fire for him, and as Ruiz’s hold softened into a caress she linked her hands behind his neck and let him lift her.

Ruiz carried her into the bedroom and laid her down carefully on the bed. Every instant apart from him seemed like a minute, every minute an hour. She reached for him hungrily, wanting him so strongly nothing could stop this. Ruiz’s kiss was like the first time all over again, and so gentle her eyes stung to think he could be so tender. She hadn’t expected such reverence. She was a plain, down-to-earth woman and expected to be treated as such, but Ruiz was kissing her as if she were made of the finest glass and might shatter in his arms if he held her too tightly. ‘You’re beautiful,’ he murmured.

‘No, I’m not.’

‘If I say you’re beautiful you should believe me.’

‘I’m far too big,’ she interrupted, trying to cross her arms over her breasts.

‘How can you be too big when the top of your head barely reaches my chest? And your breasts are beautiful.’

She didn’t argue when Ruiz lay beside her. Or when she shivered with pleasure as he dipped his head to lave first one nipple and then the other with his tongue so skilfully she writhed urgently on the bed, instantly hungry for him. When one powerful thigh pressed against her legs she welcomed him with a sharp cry of need, responding greedily by arching against the brutal thrust of his erection, demanding release.

She might have known he’d make her wait, and now she was all the more excited, knowing what lay in store for her. He protected them both again. Protection was for the woman to think about, she remembered her ex telling her—

She must have been mad. And desperate, Holly thought as Ruiz took her in his arms. ‘No more shadows,’ he whispered as if he knew where her thoughts had been straying. ‘You’re beautiful, and I want you, Holly. It’s that simple.’

Stroking the hair back from her face, he kissed her repeatedly, and when she felt the tip of his erection brush against her she almost lost control. ‘Greedy,’ he murmured, soothing her when she groaned with complaint. Moving on top of her, he warmed her with kisses, cupping her buttocks as he positioned her for pleasure. This was more leisurely, allowing them to relish each sensation to the full. She pressed her hands against his chest, staring up into his eyes.

‘Good?’ he murmured.

‘So good …’ Holding his gaze, she was able to share the moment when the smooth warm tip of Ruiz’s erection probed delicately before withdrawing again. It was an incredible sensation, and sucked every last shuddering breath of air out of her. He repeated the action so it was like the first time every time. He was giving her a master class in foreplay with such a concentration of sensation it wasn’t long before she had to thrust towards him and take him deep—and she was still astonished by the size of him.

‘How about we take it more slowly?’ Ruiz suggested with amusement.

‘You dare,’ she warned him, wondering if it was really possible to be stretched like this and survive the pleasure. ‘I’ll take it anyway you like,’ she managed shakily.

Ruiz soothed her with one hand while he increased her pleasure with the other. ‘Don’t be scared, I’ve got you,’ he said, reading her.

‘But it’s too much,’ she exclaimed frantically. ‘Too big …’

‘I decide when,’ Ruiz told her, perfectly in control.

She trusted him and stared deep into his eyes as he held her firmly in position to take her on an effortless slide into a world of sensation. ‘I can’t hold on,’ she cried at last.

‘You’re not supposed to,’ Ruiz assured her with amusement. Taking her deep with several firm, sure strokes, he thrust her over the edge where she had no option but to fall, clutching at him wildly as a starburst of sensation exploded in her head.

He held her in his arms as she slowly subsided. Holly was like an open book, pure and true, but was he ready for this wealth of feeling? He had often joked with his brothers about finding a woman who meant more to him than any other. They had tossed the idea around and concluded that as the youngest, it definitely wouldn’t be Ruiz first. Probably wouldn’t be him ever. Where would he find someone to put up with him? And if he did it would be years from now. He was too wild, too selfish, too unworthy of the sort of commitment and responsibility that came with devoting himself to one person, because that was what love meant to him—

Love?

He actually laughed out loud, and then felt guilty when Holly lifted her sated face to search his eyes. Smoothing the hair from her damp brow, he reassured her with murmured words and kisses. But she wasn’t entirely convinced. ‘What was that about?’ she murmured groggily.

‘You,’ he said. ‘You’re lovely—I can’t believe you’re here with me.’

‘Didn’t you get that the wrong way round?’ she queried sleepily.

‘I got it exactly right,’ he said. And she didn’t deserve to be hurt.

‘Lovely?’ she said, wrinkling her nose. ‘You really think I’m lovely?’

‘Lovely and funny, and … you make me laugh,’ he finished, not used to such feelings bombarding him. ‘You’re a lovely person, Holly.’

‘Ah,’ she breathed, turning her face into his chest.

Reading her insecurities, he could have kicked himself. ‘Don’t you dare,’ he warned. Holding Holly in his arms, he realised the past haunted them both. He had worried his little sister could hear their parents fighting. And like the rest of the Acosta boys, he had struggled to understand his father’s infidelities. He’d seen the hurt in his mother’s eyes. He’d seen the so-called perfect family torn apart, until all that was left was a band of brothers with a sister to protect. He would never go down that road. The thought of turning out like his father was his worst nightmare. He had no intention of settling down with a woman until all the fire had left his veins and the only thing that mattered to him was holding someone’s hand …

‘Where are you now?’ Holly murmured. ‘And where are you going?’ she said as he grabbed a towel from the bed and made for the door. ‘I’m going to take a shower,’ he said, securing the towel around his waist. His heart filled and when she smiled back at him his mind was made up.

She could use a break, Holly concluded wryly, stretching her glowing limbs contentedly. She was still in a wonderfully dreamy recovery state, and had been worrying that she might not be able to gather herself fast enough to satisfy a man like Ruiz. Keeping up with a man like that would require regular training sessions, she reflected happily. She looked up with surprise when he came back into the room, but it was only to drop a kiss on her swollen mouth. ‘Where are you going now?’ she demanded softly, reaching up to him.

‘Goodnight, Holly …’

Smiling drowsily, she stared into the impossibly beautiful eyes, wondering if now was the moment to admit that Ruiz had exhausted her, but with a little sleep she’d be—

‘Try not to oversleep,’ he was telling her. ‘I know you’ve got work tomorrow and I don’t want you to be late because I kept you up half the night. Would you like me to set your alarm for you?’

She started to frown, realising that all the heat had gone from his eyes.

‘I’d never forgive myself if I were the cause of putting a curb on your career,’ he murmured, caressing her face.

He was talking about work now? Ice filled her veins. This wasn’t good. ‘There are plenty of things to worry about apart from work,’ she said. ‘Wasn’t that what you told me?’

‘So I did,’ Ruiz agreed. ‘And there’s something else. The repairs on my town house are nearly complete so I’ll be getting out of your hair soon.’

And that was good? Ruiz seemed to think so. Maybe her brain had been blown to mush by so much amazing sex, but that did not sound good to Holly.

Lifting the duvet, Ruiz pulled it up to her chin—an action that smacked more of consideration for a maiden aunt with an attack of the vapours than a crazy-for-you, I-want-to-keep-you-warm-for-the-very-few-minutes-I’m-away-from-your-side action. ‘I don’t want to get too comfortable,’ she complained, throwing it off again. ‘I might go to sleep if I do—’

‘You should sleep well now, Holly.’

‘Only for a few seconds.’ She laughed, but something warned her to stop talking—that this was a train wreck and she was in the middle of it. Reaching up she put her hands flat against Ruiz’s chest. They’d been as intimate as two people could be, but instead of feeling any response from him all she could feel was the play of muscle beneath her hands. ‘Polo must be some game,’ she said lamely.

‘It is.’

And Ruiz had already left her, she registered.

What had she done? What had she done wrong?

She had allowed herself to want more than Ruiz was prepared to give her, Holly reasoned as he walked across the room. She wanted all of him, not just the sex. She wanted his warmth and his humour, his intelligence and perception, and the friendship that brought them close, making them, she had believed, trusting and trusted. She did not want this cold little voice inside her saying this same thing had happened to her before.

Not quite the same—

Not the same at all, Holly reassured herself. Not so many kisses and caresses, and no genuine affection of any kind. No affection at all, in fact. Her ex had been nothing like Ruiz.

‘Sleep now,’ Ruiz whispered from the door.

Burying her face in the pillow, she went tense all over as if that could shut out what was happening, but she only knew one way to give and that was wholeheartedly. She couldn’t divide parts of herself off and hold them back. Perhaps men could do that.

Okay, she could deal with this, Holly told herself fiercely, swinging off the bed as the door closed. Chasing after Ruiz wasn’t the answer. She had no one to blame but herself. Good-looking man notices plain, uncertain Holly, and bam! She’s grateful. Worse. She’s hungry for affection and blind to common sense—

But Ruiz had made her feel beautiful …

No. She had allowed Ruiz to make her feel beautiful and desired, because that was what
she
had wanted. She had bought into the fantasy while telling her readers so earnestly that casual encounters weren’t cool, they were dangerous—especially for anyone with an iota of feeling inside them. Regrets? She only had to think about the letters pouring into the agony-aunt office to know that the majority of people writing those letters lived with regret. And now she was one of them. How badly had she let her readers down?

She took a shower, thinking that would help, but she was left with exactly the same absurd impression that Ruiz was special and mustn’t be allowed to slip through her fingers. That he was one of a kind—one of
her
kind; the only man she would ever want and would measure every other man against—

Oh, to hell with that! Holly thought impatiently, tugging on fresh nightclothes. This wasn’t love, it was lust. Those sexy eyes, that incredible body and the humorous curve of Ruiz’s lips would be any woman’s downfall.

No. Dropping onto the bed to stare blindly at the ceiling, she was finally prepared to admit that Holly Valiant’s downfall was all her own doing and that Ruiz had merely been a willing accomplice.

And love?

Love didn’t come into it, Holly told her inner voice coldly. Ruiz had been caught up in the moment and she had too. At least he hadn’t presented her with a bill, which was pretty much what her ex had done. Shaking her head, Holly remembered that classic excuse when she had challenged her ex about emptying her bank account. ‘Consider it payment for services rendered,’ he’d said. ‘You don’t think I’d do it for free with you, do you?’ With that ringing in her ears it was no wonder she had a few issues where men were concerned—

But Ruiz wasn’t that man. And she was a survivor who could put experiences like that behind her. Hadn’t she already shown she could do that? Wasn’t that why she was here now? She just had to get a handle on how she felt about Ruiz and remember that thunderbolts struck other people—in novels, mostly. They certainly didn’t strike Holly Valiant. Tonight she had lapsed from the path she wanted to take, but she would be firmly back in control by tomorrow.

She lay in bed listening to the wind in the trees, and remained in the same lifeless position until everything in the apartment went quiet. It occurred to her that Ruiz wouldn’t be lying in bed staring at the ceiling as he raked over the events of the night. This was, after all, just one day in the life of a playboy. Turning her face into the pillow, she wished briefly with amusement that she had her own agony aunt to write to and ask for advice, but then accepted she’d got it right from the start with rule number one: rely on no one but yourself.

Holly was a fixture in Ruiz’s head the next morning as he pounded down the staircase to the street rather than taking the lift in the penthouse. He couldn’t stop beating himself up about what had happened. She was new to London—and vulnerable. And his sister’s friend. And he didn’t need reminding about the world of inexperience on Holly’s side and the equal amount of should-know-better on his. Exiting the building he saw his breath turn to frost. It made him long for the warmth of Argentina. Seeing Holly in Argentina away from her computer and the fantasy life she was weaving, Holly relaxed and happy, living in the real world for once … But he had meant it when he’d told Holly he would never stand in the way of her career. She had come so far since moving to London and had never made any secret of the fact that her career meant everything to her. He should be exhilarated at the thought of returning to Argentina, just as he should be happy for Holly. She was a proper city girl now—a survivor, successful and driven—