THE SHADOWED ONYX: A DIAMOND ESTATES NOVEL (27 page)

Ginny tapped a pen on her desk. “So you wanted answers. It’s okay. What next?”

“Melanie committed suicide and I called 911, and then I had to let her mom know. It was all on me, Ginny.”

“I’m really sorry about that. A seventeen-year-old girl shouldn’t ever have to face something like that.
Ever
.“

Yeah. But she had.

“So the funeral. How was it?”

“Awful. The second-worst experience of my life, next to discovering Melanie. And I’ll never forget that Melanie’s mom had spread candles all around the casket … ugh, pumpkin spice. I guess that smell has just stuck with me.” Oh, no wonder Ginny’s office was choking her.

Ginny’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, I didn’t put the pieces together until I started talking about the funeral, but that’s why that smell is hitting me so strongly. It’s bringing me back to those feelings. It’s making me feel the way I felt that day.”

“Yep. That’s what senses do. A song, a smell, a touch, they can all bring back memories and conjure up emotions and feelings.” She looked around her office. “Okay, so we need to get rid of the pumpkin spice. That’s clear, but let’s replace it with something else. What about vanilla?”

“Vanilla?”

“It has a soothing smell. Do you have any association with that scent?”

“No, not at all.”

“I’m going to start burning vanilla candles every single day. I want that scent to become a benchmark for you, a replacement memory. Every time you smell it, I want you to remember the journey you embarked on here. You can claim it so when it hits you, it triggers that feeling of hope. Okay?”

Joy smiled. “Okay. I like the sound of that. I think that’s cool.”

Ginny jumped up from her chair and picked up her bell-shaped candlesnuffer. She put out each candle, one by one. When the last one remained, she handed the snuffer to Joy. “Here, you extinguish this final flame.”

Joy reached forward and lowered the bell over the flickering candle flame until it went out. Afterward Joy thought she was probably driving Ginny crazy with her questions, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted answers. She just wanted to know.

“Whoops.” Ginny looked at her watch. “Our time is up for today. Ready to go meet the girls?”

Joy’s stomach clenched. Um … no? “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

S
ilas stayed pressed to Joy’s side as they reentered the big house. He glanced in every direction, keeping his head just in front of her body. Protective. Alert.

Ginny led Joy right to the dining hall and pushed open the screen door for her.

Hmm. Was it her imagination, or did the room go silent when she entered? Yes. A new girl. Let’s all stop and stare. Sheesh. Joy’s body tingled under the scrutiny as the girls checked her out head to toe then returned to their conversations as the noise level rose.

Except for one girl.

What was
her
problem? She had attitude written all over her from her blond spikes, eyebrow piercing, and tattooed forearms crossed on her chest. Her empty dinner tray sat on the table in front of her, her scowl enough to stop a weaker person in her tracks.

Joy glanced at Silas. He stared at Blondie as though even he noticed the little daggers being shot from across the room.

Drama. Drama. Drama. It had always existed everywhere, but how much more so when thirty messed-up teenage girls where thrown into a pot and stirred up? Joy wasn’t going to let it bother her. She had bigger things to worry about.

Following Ginny’s lead, Joy grabbed a dinner tray and slid it along the rails like in the cafeteria at school. Several girls stood behind the counter serving up helpings of lasagna and garlic bread. Please say they were hired help … but something told Joy they were residents doing chores. Which would mean … she’d have to do time in the kitchen. She’d rather clean bathrooms than cook. Well—she glanced around the bustling room—those toilets probably got pretty nasty, so maybe not. But close.

“You new here?” A plump woman in a chef’s apron smiled as she scooped some salad into a bowl. Her jowls shook as she spoke.

“Yeah. Just got here. I’m Joy.”

“Well, good. We could use some of that around here. I’m Marilyn. It’s nice to meet you, Joy.” She gestured to the salad bar area and handed Joy a plate of lettuce.

“Thanks.” Joy paused for a moment and listened to her body. Was she hungry? Did she want this food? Her stomach rumbled. She actually felt famished for once. It had been so long since she felt this hungry.

She used the tongs to sprinkle some cheese on top of her lettuce and then added French dressing, a hard-boiled egg, bacon bits, sunflower seeds, and croutons. No one would call that a particularly healthy salad, but it sure looked good. Joy slid her tray on to the dessert section. Maybe she should skip that.

Ginny nudged her. “Go ahead. You only live once.”

That’s what Ginny thought.

But really? Who could resist Oreo pie? Joy selected a small piece, added silverware to her tray, and filled a cup with Diet Coke from the fountain. Hah. Diet Coke … that was a laugh. She probably had three thousand calories on her tray. But at least she wasn’t adding two hundred more. Not that she cared.

So now what? She surveyed the dining room as it bustled with clusters of people eating, talking, and laughing like old friends. Any of the pairs could have been Joy and Melanie huddled over a pizza or a magazine. Loneliness punched her in the stomach as her status shone in vivid relief. Friendless. Alone. Pathetic.

A few tables had openings, but there was no way on earth she was going to just walk up to strangers and ask if she could eat with them. She’d never had to do that at school. Always had Melanie and Austin. Then … when she didn’t … she ate with Raven. Here? Here it looked like she’d be all alone.

Wait. Where had Ginny gone? Weren’t they supposed to be, like, strapped together at the hip for a while? She let her gaze rove over the tables again. Finally it landed on Ginny, waving wildly from a spot across the room at a table with another girl. The only empty seat at the table was directly across from Blondie. Of course.

Who said there was no such thing as karma? If someone had asked her, she would have said of course that would be the table Ginny would have been sitting at. And, of course she’d leave the seat open across from the one girl who hated Joy for sure. How could it be any other way?

As Joy approached the table, Ginny stood up. “Come on over, Joy. This is Savvy. I have to take off for a few minutes, but I wanted to get you acquainted with someone. So you girls get to know each other a little bit. I’ll be right back.”

The tough girl with the spiked do and tattoos was named Savvy? That so did not fit her.

Joy set her tray on the table and perched on the edge of her chair.

She could open with a question. “So, what are you in for?” Hopefully that hadn’t come across as a rude way to open a conversation, but then what else was there to talk about? Silas slumped on the floor beside Joy, his presence comforting. She glanced around the room. How many others had a special friend with them? If only she could see into the spiritual whenever she wanted to.

“Just stuff. Causing trouble. You know.” Savvy shrugged.

Joy jerked back, stunned by the Southern accent. She’d assumed the girl was fresh off the streets, not plucked off some cotton plantation. Weird. “How long have you been here?”

“Just about a week.”

Oh, she was new, too. That explained the attitude—partly, anyway.

“Hey, mind if I join you?” A tray appeared at the spot Ginny had vacated, carried by a tall girl with long auburn waves.

“Go for it.” Joy swallowed her Diet Coke and nodded. “I’m Joy.” There was something familiar about the girl.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Paige.” She cast her deep brown eyes down at her food.

Wait just a minute. Paige? “Paige McNichols? Are you Paige McNichols, the actress?”

As Paige tossed her auburn waves over her shoulder, the dark black underlayer fell in front of her shoulders. “Yep, that’s me.”

“But I heard you were in drug rehab.”

“Hah.” She laughed. “Don’t believe everything you hear … or read. Especially read. But I guess you could say drugs are one of the reasons I’m here. This might not be a medical rehab, but I’m being healed from the inside out. Even better.”

Oh, she was an old-timer at Diamond Estates. “How long have you been here?”

“About five months.”

Wow. Five months. “Surprised I haven’t read about it. The news has been pretty quiet. Usually you’re splashed all over every magazine. But now that I think about it, I haven’t seen much about you lately.”

Paige flashed a movie-star smile. “Just the way I prefer it.” Her grin wavered, belying her last statement.

Ginny appeared at Paige’s back. “You girls getting acquainted?”

Oh, the Paige McNichols thing had been a setup. Ginny sent her over to make sure no one was suicidal or anything. Jury was still out on Savvy.

Ginny slid another chair up to the table and sat down.

“How are the rest of the girls treating you, Savvy?”

“Does it matter?” She shrugged.

Boy, this girl really did have an attitude. But it was a good question. What did it matter, really?

Ignoring the questions, Ginny glanced at Savvy’s tray. “Where’s your dinner?”

Savvy looked at the empty tray like it was the first time she’d seen it. “I’m not hungry. Not even close.”

Ginny nodded. “I get it, but you have to eat.”

Savvy’s eyes narrowed. “You’re going to force me?”

Joy forked a bite of lasagna into her mouth. Funny. She wasn’t having a bit of trouble. Judging by her own dinner, they’d have to pry the food out of her cold dead hands.

“Yes, some sort of meal is required three times a day. There are plenty of offerings up there. I don’t care if you just make a salad or get a cup of soup, but you have to eat something.”

Savvy gritted her teeth and huffed away to the food line.

Ginny took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

Paige sure would be interesting to get to know. Melanie would have freaked out. Joy gasped. She’d forgotten about Melanie. It happened more and more lately. Some friend.

Savvy returned to the table and plunked her tray down.

An apple and a Snickers? Looked good to Joy. She took a bite of pie, trying not to smile. What would Ginny do about this one?

Ginny looked from the tray to Savvy’s smug smile. Then she looked away.

Ah. Seemed as though Ginny didn’t sweat the little things. She picked her battles and chose carefully which ones to fight.

That would come in handy.

L
ights out at nine thirty? Were they kidding? What was she supposed to do for the next three hours until she could coax her body to sleep? And prayer time at six in the morning? That was going to be a challenge in more ways than one. She couldn’t control Silas’s reaction, and she couldn’t control the movement of the clock. She’d just have to worry about it as it happened.

Silas stood and turned in a circle two or three times and plopped down at her feet. She’d gotten so used to the weight of his body pressing down her feet as she slept, it was somehow comforting. Grounding. Almost like if he didn’t hold her down, she could be carried away.

Sleep. Joy closed her eyes and tried to shut out the questions. Would be interesting to see her life now as a sort of side by side comparison with her life a year ago. How could so many things change so quickly? In the blink of an eye, almost everything she knew, everything she was, morphed into something completely different. Now here she was living in another state, on the grounds of a monastery with horses roaming outside her window and a spirit wolf sleeping on her feet.

Wonder what Mom and Dad had done since she’d left. Had it only been this morning when she’d stood in front of that fire with them? Did they miss her, or were they just relieved she’d taken her troubles and turned them over to someone else?

They always felt guilty about how much time they spent working. Now they wouldn’t have to. Would they finish the lake house before Joy got back? It never occurred to her when she stepped off the porch to leave with Mark Stapleton that she may never return to the home she’d lived in since birth. Would she have done things differently if she’d realized? Maybe one last tour, a good-bye to her room … ah, it was probably better this way. Too many memories. She’d make a whole mess of new memories here. If only she could see into the future to look back knowing this would be a good experience. If only.

If only Melanie were here. Joy closed her eyes as words from
The Way We Were
filled her heart.

“You’re the best friend I ever had, and it would help me so much if you could just come over and see me through tonight.”

Joy grabbed the covers and rolled over. She scrunched her eyes closed. Just sleep. Morning would come soon and everything would make more sense.

She hovered over her bed.

The form of her body lay alone, under the covers. Silas’s body still covered her feet. Joy knew she should stop this, yet she was powerless. If she cried out, would Ginny hear her and come to help? But then again, did she really want to be heard? The last time something like this had happened, she’d taken a little trip and learned so much. Maybe this time would be no different.