The Shadow Reader (43 page)

Read The Shadow Reader Online

Authors: Sandy Williams

Tags: #Romance, #Fantasy, #Fiction, #General, #Contemporary

BOOK: The Shadow Reader
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“We’ll make do with who we have,” Aren says.
“You need me—more than me, actually.”
“No.” His tone makes it sound as if everything is settled.
My knee-jerk reaction is to snap that he doesn’t control me, but I manage to choke back the words. He’s just trying to protect me. I get that.
“What if Radath or some of the king’s other officers show up? You’ll need shadow-readers at each
Sidhe Tol
to track them.”
He pulls a map of Montana closer.
I turn to Kyol. “Tell him he needs me.”
“You’re in no shape for this, McKenzie.” He says it so simply, so evenly, so goddamn gently.
“So both of you would rather be distracted by illusions? You want the rest of the rebels to be distracted by them? That’s bullshit. Fewer fae will die if I’m there.”
“I won’t let Naito go if she doesn’t,” Kelia says.
Naito cocks an eyebrow at her.
She shrugs. “I won’t. If they’re going to make McKenzie stay home because they’re worried about her getting hurt, then I’ll make you stay home, too.”
Naito just shakes his head with a smile, pulls her to him, and gives her a loving kiss on the forehead. “I’ll still go, but we need the
nalkin-shom
. If Radath or the king’s other officers
are
there, McKenzie can identify them. She can track them if they try to escape, and we do need the extra pair of eyes.”
Kyol’s fists clench on top of the table. It’s a small sign of his anger, but from a man who’s an expert at concealing his emotions, it’s as significant as a bomb exploding.
“I’ll be fine, Kyol.”
He shakes his head. “Radath will order his men to target you.”
“They . . .” Oh. That’s what this is about. Radath knows how Kyol feels about me. He knows he can use me to get to the sword-master. I can’t let that stop me from helping, though, so I scan the others at the table, trying to find some support or inspiration. My gaze rests on Naito, the only person here besides me who doesn’t have
edarratae
flashing across his skin. “They won’t know who I am.”
Kyol draws in a breath. “You’re very noticeable,
kaesha
.”
An ache twinges through my heart. I push the pain aside, focus on our problem. “If we all wear camouflage, they won’t be able to tell us apart.”
Aren makes a noise that’s half harrumph, half laugh. Before I can stop him, he kisses my cheek. A chaos luster bolts from his lips to my skin, sending a shock of tingling heat down my neck.
“You’re brilliant,” he says. He leans forward to see past me to Naito. “The vigilantes will be wearing it, right? Can we get enough uniforms in a day?”
Naito gives me an appreciative smile. Not only will the camo allow me to blend in; if Aren and the rest of the rebels wear it, it’ll make it more difficult for the humans to tell them apart from the rest of the vigilantes. Sure, they’ll eventually notice the rebels’ swords and
edarratae
, but with the camo, it might take the humans two or three seconds longer than if they went in wearing only their
jaedric
armor. Two or three seconds is enough time for the rebels to fissure out of the way.
“It shouldn’t be too difficult,” Naito says. “I can look up the locations of a few army surplus stores.”
“We need a fourth front,” Lena says suddenly, looking up from a map. There’s no preamble to her announcement. It’s the first time she’s spoken since I sat down. “We need to attack the palace itself.”
“We don’t have enough fae for that.” Aren rests his hand on my thigh.
I catch my breath. My jeans protect me from his
edarratae
, but the natural warmth of his hand seeps into me. He’s leaning on his opposite elbow, which rests on the table. I don’t think anyone else notices we’re touching.
“We won’t need many,” Lena says. “Just enough to force Atroth to keep guards on the wall. Taltrayn can suggest places to attack.”
Is Aren staking a claim or something? Letting me know I’m his? That he’s going to keep his promise not to let Kyol have me back?
“There are weaknesses to exploit,” Kyol admits. “But the guards will be on alert.”
I like kissing Aren. I like his teasing smile, his haphazard appearance, his loyalty to Lena and the rebellion, but do I like
him
? I barely know him.
“It will be worth the risk,” Lena says. “Once we fissure inside the silver walls, we’ll have men attack the guards from behind.”
Aren rubs his thumb along my outer thigh. It’s distracting, and now is
not
the best time to sort out my feelings, not with Kyol sitting across from us, not with a battle looming on the horizon.
Aren’s thumb stops its caress. “Strategic assassinations might work. We need to control the entrances to the inner city. Taltrayn?”
“I can list sentries to neutralize.” There’s no emotion in Kyol’s voice. He stares at the center of the table and doesn’t look up. I want to crawl into his arms, tell him he’s doing the right thing, and that everything’s going to be okay, but I can’t. I can’t do any of that.
“Good,” Lena says as she rises. Realizing she’ll definitely notice where Aren’s hand is if she’s standing, I beat her to my feet.
Naito straightens out of his chair, too. “I’ll look up those surplus stores.”
“I’ll help,” Kelia pipes up.
“I’m not going to let you touch the laptop, baby.”
She tilts her head to the side. “I’ll have to find other ways to occupy myself, then.”
Naito grins and takes her hand.
Kyol’s gaze follows them when they leave the table. He has to know they’re a couple. He has to see they’re happy together, good together. If Kyol was a weaker man, if he’d given in to his desires, we could have been like that, too.
Aren and Kyol both rise when Lena steps into the living room to talk to Nalst. When Aren turns toward me, I grab the glass of
cabus
and use it as a shield between us. There’s a faint smile on his lips. It doesn’t last long, though. It disappears as soon as Kyol steps to my side.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks, ignoring Aren. He’s still trying to take care of me, to give me a way out of this war.
My hands tighten around my glass. “I have to do this.”
I’m worried he’s going to argue that point. I take a sip of
cabus
. I don’t know why. To buy some time? To show my determination? Whatever my motivation, I regret it immediately. Trying not to make too much of a face, I gulp the liquid down, then set the glass aside.
“I choose to do this,” I tell him.
He looks into my eyes. If we were still working for the king, this is the type of battle he’d shelter me from. He only tolerated the risks to my life before because they were minimal: he and a contingent of his best swordsmen were always with me, and we ambushed the fae I tracked. Tomorrow will be different. The Court knows we’re coming. There will be a lot of death, a lot of violence. This could be as bad as Brykeld.
Kyol takes my hand. Warmth spreads through my palm and a chaos luster spirals to my elbow. “You’ll stay by my side and do as I say. You’ll fissure out when and with whom I tell you to.”
“Except,” Aren interjects, taking a small step forward, “she’ll be with me.”
Kyol squeezes my hand. He lets it go before addressing Aren. “She and I have worked together before.”
Aren gives a lazy shrug. “In the past. She’s not your puppet anymore. I’ll keep her safe.”
“
I’ll
keep her safe. I’ve protected her for ten years.”
“You didn’t protect her from me.”
Kyol’s fist launches Aren into the wall.
Nalst rushes forward, drawing his sword, but Kyol snarls something I can’t translate and doesn’t slow down. He strides through the living room and out the back door.
“Sidhe,”
Aren groans on the ground. He gingerly touches his jaw.
“You deserved that,” I tell him.
Lena scowls and adds, “You should have seen that coming.”
“I
did
see it coming. I just didn’t have time to duck.” He sits up and stretches his jaw, working it to the left, then to the right.
I don’t feel sorry for him. Aren was an ass. There was no reason to provoke Kyol.
“McKenzie,” he calls out when I turn to leave. I ignore him and go outside.
It’s a warm evening. Humid. A half-moon hangs low on the horizon, half obscured by thin wisps of clouds. Kyol’s sitting to my left, his back against the brick wall, his forearms resting on his bent knees.
I sink down beside him. “Are you okay?”
He doesn’t say anything for a long time. He’s staring at his clasped hands. His
edarratae
are bright out here. In the past, I’d trace their paths on his skin. I miss doing that. I miss the heat of his touch, the familiar comfort of it.
“I’ve lost you, haven’t I?”
His pain tears me into pieces. My throat closes up, and I can’t answer him. I don’t know how to. I’ve been avoiding this conversation, this decision, for far too long because I thought it would end with me alone and heartbroken. Now . . . now it doesn’t have to end that way. Lena’s made him her lord general, but if Kyol and I both survive tomorrow, he would abandon that position. He’d abandon the Realm if I ask. Ten years ago, one year ago, maybe even a month ago, I would have asked.
He lets out a sound that’s so very close to a single, choked sob. “I dedicated my life to my king. I should have dedicated it to you.”
I swallow against a raw throat. “I shouldn’t have had to wait ten years for you.”
“I . . .” His voice breaks. “I’ve wronged you all this time. I knew how you felt, how
I
felt, and I did nothing.”
I bite my lip, taste blood, but the pain isn’t enough of a distraction. The tears fall.
“Kaesha,”
Kyol breathes out. “Don’t cry. Please. Come here.”
He drapes an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his embrace. I close my eyes, selfishly soak in his scent and his warmth.
“I came out here to comfort
you
,” I whisper.
His arm tightens around my shoulders.
“This comforts me,” he says. “This comforts me very much.”
TWENTY-NINE
 
T
HE VIGILANTES’ JET landed in Great Falls about three hours ago. It will take them almost four hours to drive and then hike to the stream the Court fae are guarding. We won’t fissure out until Aren’s scouts report they’ve arrived. It’s nearly time to go, but I’ve never had to wait this long for an operation before. It’s nerve-wracking.
Not for Aren, though. He’s sitting in the living room cracking jokes. It’s annoying, how collected and carefree he seems. I finally ate a decent meal so, physically, I’m doing better. Emotionally, though, I’m stretched thin. Every time I’m in the same room with Kyol, I feel like I’m ripping his heart from his chest, especially if I’m anywhere near Aren. Because I can’t stand hurting him, I’m doing my best to stay away from both fae.
I choke down a few swallows of
cabus
, chase it with almost half a can of Dr Pepper. I told Kyol he didn’t have to help the rebellion, but he said he’d never forgive himself if anything happened to me. Besides, he’s determined to send Radath to the ether. That doesn’t make me feel any better. If anything happens to Kyol,
I
won’t forgive myself.
“McKenzie.”
Naito holds out a belt with an empty holster. Reluctantly, I push my chair away from the kitchen table and stand, taking the belt and putting it on.
“This is the safety.” He flicks up a little lever on the right side of the gun in his hand. “Press here to change the magazine.” He pushes a button on the grip, lets the black rectangle drop an inch, then clicks it back into place before holding it out. “There are extra magazines in the bag with your sketchbook.”
Fabulous. I slip the gun into the holster at my hip.
Before I’m able to sit back down, the back door swings open. I step into the living room in time to see one of Aren’s scouts stride in. A wave of uneasiness washes through me. I don’t have a good feeling about this. I feel like my luck has run out, that if we go through with these attacks at the
Sidhe Tol
and the invasion of the Silver Palace, someone I care about isn’t going to return.
Lena gives orders to the gathered fae. Fissures rip through the air and most of the rebels disappear. Naito follows Evan and Kelia out the back door, leaving just me, Lena, Aren, and Kyol inside.
“You two will work together?” Lena asks them. I think she really wants to know neither of them will be stabbing the other in the back. I’m not worried about Kyol losing control. Aren on the other hand . . .
“We’ll sort out our differences later,” he says.

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