The Shadow of the Sycamores (48 page)

When her husband went out for his usual fifteen minutes ‘constitutional’ before going to bed and her daughter had retired early with a headache, Fay confronted her fears. Were they purely for Billy’s safety or to save herself from new heartache? But there was Maggie to consider too. If Billy did join up, the
poor girl would worry about him – just as she had worried about Jerry and as Mara had worried about Leo. The men never thought of the women they left behind.

Henry had also been thinking. ‘I know Billy’s brought it all back to you,’ he said when he came back in. ‘It’s the same for me and all but we have to let the laddie make up his own mind.’

‘I know. That’s what makes it so hard. I feel like I’ve got no say in anything any more.’

‘Maybe Maggie has talked him round.’

‘Oh, I hope so!’

He bent down to untie his shoelaces. ‘In any case, maybe there won’t be a war. A lot of old men in the cabinet making a fuss over nothing.’

She was well aware that he was just trying to stop her fretting yet he had thrown her a lifeline she could hold on to. If she prayed hard enough – as so many other mothers must be praying now – surely it wouldn’t happen.

In the morning, Billy told them that he had made a decision. ‘Maggie doesn’t want me to volunteer but I can’t carry on working here so I’m going down to London to see if I can find a better job. I’ll give it a month and, if I haven’t found anything by then, I’ll come home.’

It was Mara who tried to talk him out of this. ‘Where do you think you’ll find a place to stay? London’s not a friendly place like Ardbirtle, you know.’

‘I’m not stupid,’ Billy said quietly. ‘I’m eighteen now and well able to look after myself. I won’t let anybody swindle me or take the loan of me and, once I find a job, I’ll find somewhere to stay. Then, when I’m on my feet properly, I’ll send for Maggie.’ His eyes sought hers, the love they shared blazingly obvious.

Fay was afraid to ask about the boy but Maggie said suddenly, her voice just a trifle unsteady, ‘I’ll be taking Laurie with me. I’m going to carry on my job here till I go, of course – that’s if you’re still willing to look after him for me, Fay?’

‘Of course I am.’

Billy left for work then, prepared to give the obligatory week’s notice, which would actually let him leave the following Saturday. Then Maggie went to carry out her duties as cleaner in The Doocot, a job she had held for over a year. Mara was last to go – she did not start until nine o’clock. She had been lucky that old Mr Kelly’s son had taken her back into the solicitor’s office about eighteen months earlier. She had needed the stimulus of working with her brain, otherwise, as she had told her mother, she would have sunk without trace in a sea of despondency.

Husband and wife looked at each other now, each knowing what the other was thinking. ‘It’ll maybe never come to it,’ Henry said, not altogether convincingly.

‘Billy’s determined, though,’ Fay murmured. ‘He’ll find a job, no doubt about that, and make a success of it, no doubt about that either. Then he’ll send for Maggie and … oh, Henry, what’ll I do without my darling little boy?’

At that moment, because their attention was off him, the darling little boy had emptied what was left of his thin porridge on to the table and was stirring it round with his spoon.

‘Oh, Laurie!’ Fay exclaimed but she couldn’t help laughing at his pained expression, as if he were completely innocent of any ill. ‘Thank goodness we stopped using tablecloths,’ she said, as she scraped the goo off the American oilcloth Maggie had bought to save the washing.

Henry studied the toddler pensively for a few moments, mulling over a thought that had just occurred to him and he couldn’t understand why he hadn’t noticed before. He waited, however, until the little boy was playing outside in the garden before mentioning it to his wife. ‘My Fairy Fay, do you not think that wee lamb’s awful like Jerry was at that age?’

In the act of laying past the dishes he had dried, her hand halted halfway to the shelf. ‘Have you just newly noticed?’ she asked, softly.

‘So you
have
seen the resemblance?’ He sounded pleased. ‘Could it be … do you think? Could it possibly be?’

She shook her still uncombed hair, some more silver strands escaping from their hairpins. ‘He can’t be Jerry’s son, you should know that. It’s twenty-two years since he was killed.’

Henry was outraged. ‘Do you think I’d forgotten that? What I was thinking … well, he could have … fathered a bairn before he was sent away and wee Laurie could be that child’s son – our grandson. Eh? What d’you say to that?’

‘I say it’s wishful thinking, old man.’ Fay smiled to take the sting out of her words. ‘Maybe you can convince yourself but you’ll never be able to prove it.’

Over the next few hours, Henry
did
convince himself and he determined to get the proof. He’d have to find out where Maggie’s parents lived – one of them could be Jerry’s child. Of course, the link could be through Laurie’s father and he’d tackle that if he had to. But first things first. It was probably going to be easier to make Maggie reveal her parents’ whereabouts than her lover’s.

As the days passed, Maggie was puzzled by Henry’s determination to learn where her parents lived. The only reason she could think of would be to find out who Laurie’s father was since
she
wouldn’t tell him. It was nobody’s business. In any case, her father had no idea that his younger brother had raped her when he was left in the house alone with her one evening. He had sworn that he would deny it if she told anybody and, if Henry Rae knew, he would go in with guns blazing and there would be a terrible row.

Mara was rather worried about her father these days. He had always been very fond of little Laurie but, this last week or two, he had been more than affectionate – acting almost as if he were a doting grandfather. Her mother, on the other hand, seemed uneasy when she saw him on his hands and knees on the floor with the boy or giving him piggybacks. Of course, she could be worried that he would do himself some harm at his age but it appeared to be more than that.

Maggie was getting a letter from Billy nearly every other day
but it was three and a half weeks before the arrival of the one they all secretly dreaded. She read it out to them.

‘I’ve found quite a good job in a hotel near King’s Cross as porter and handy man. It’s not one of the best places in London but it’s far from being the worst. Better still, I’ve found us a furnished flat. It belongs to the father of one of the waiters here and they seem a real decent family. It’s on the third floor, there are two rooms and a shared bathroom and the rent isn’t as extortionate as some of them I went after.

‘Now for the best news of all. I don’t have to start at the hotel till the first of the month so tell the folks I’ll be arriving this Wednesday and I’m taking you back with me.’

The gasps made her lift her eyes. ‘I’m not going to sleep with him if that’s what you all think. He’ll have one room and I’ll be in the other.’

‘Wouldn’t it be better to wait until you can be married?’ Fay asked, gently. ‘Your intentions may be good but the temptation could prove too much.’

‘You’re saying I might have another illegitimate child? Well, if I did, it wouldn’t be because I was taken by force. I love Billy with all my heart.’

Fay shot a quick glance at her husband before saying, ‘I know, dear, and he loves you but …’ She stopped with a sigh. ‘Can you tell us anything else he’s written?’

The girl looked at the letter for a few moments then burst out, her eyes dancing, ‘He’s booked the Registrar for Monday. We’re to be married the day I go down there so that settles the sleeping arrangements!’ She bent her head to read the last few lines, obviously avowals of love, and slid the pages back into the envelope, her cheeks flushed. ‘Oh, isn’t it great?’

It was Mara, affected by the younger girl’s excitement, who reminded her that she would have a lot to do before Billy came for her. ‘You’ll have to buy a new dress – not a fancy wedding gown but something special so it’ll look nice in a photograph for you to remember.’

The two of them chattered on, discussing a style, the colour, the shoe style, whether she should buy a hat, too, while Fay
and Henry sat silently, visualising long empty days ahead of them when Maggie and her son had gone.

Billy turned up mid-morning on Wednesday, looking the same as always, and, after showering Maggie with kisses, he turned a cheery grin on the others. ‘Are you surprised?’ he asked, looking at Fay for approval.

She hadn’t the heart to tell him what she really felt – that the event she had hoped would never take place was upon her now – she said truthfully, ‘I’m happy for you, both of you.’ She held out her arms and, as if it were something he did every day, he threw his arms around her and kissed her cheek reverently.

‘I’m glad you’re not angry with me for taking them away,’ he murmured, far more perceptive than she had thought. ‘And we’ll come back for holidays – if that’s all right with you?’

‘Any time and as often as you like,’ she whispered, tears starting to edge down her cheeks.

‘That’s enough of being serious,’ Henry said rather gruffly. ‘We’re all happy, let’s keep it that way.’

Having heard the familiar voice, Laurie came bounding in from the garden and launched his sturdy little body at the young man, squealing as he was swung up in the air, ‘Billy! Billy! You back?’

Billy grinned. ‘Yes, I’m back!’

Maggie, however, had seen the tortured glances Fay and Henry had been exchanging. ‘Not for long, though,’ she told her son, on the spur of the moment. ‘He’s going away again in a couple of days and …’ She hesitated, then stated, to everyone else’s amazement, ‘And Mummy’s going with him. I’ll come back for you once we get settled down in our new house in London but you’re to stay here for a wee while yet. Fay and Henry and Mara would be awful sad if we all went away together.’ She was making a huge sacrifice but it was worth it to see the relief on the two elderly faces.

Fay turned away on the pretext of rinsing out the teapot, while Henry took out his handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes.
Mara, more able to cope with the unexpected, just blinked a few times to banish any moisture.

The next two days crawled past for Billy, anxious to start a new life and make Maggie his wife. For Fay and Henry, the time flew by far too quickly, although their sadness was tempered by the thought of having the little boy to themselves for a few weeks. Mara was torn between happiness for the young couple and sadness for her parents – it was as if her emotions were on a seesaw. Maggie, too, had mixed feelings. She would soon be married to the man she loved but she was leaving her darling son behind. Not for long, though.

The parting came, as partings inevitably must, tears were shed, hugs were given and long, heart-rending kisses. The guard’s whistle broke the spell and in moments a sad trio were wishing the soon-to-be-wed pair good wishes for the future, and the little boy kept waving until the last carriage was out of sight.

On the way home, Fay remembered something that she had forgotten in the all the excitement of Billy’s visit and turned it over in her mind for some time. She could see only one interpretation of it but had to wait until they were in bed before she could ask what her husband thought. ‘D’you remember when Maggie was reading out Billy’s letter to us?’

‘Aye?’

‘It was before we knew he’d arranged the wedding and I told her it was too risky to share a house with him?’

‘Aye?’ The response was sleepier.

‘And she said if she had an illegitimate child, it wouldn’t be from force.’

‘So?’ There was interest in this answer.

‘Well, I’ve been thinking about it and I’m nearly sure Laurie was the result of her being … raped. What do you think?’

‘It sounds like it, anyway,’ Henry said, cautiously.

‘I think it must have been somebody her father knew and that was why she wouldn’t tell him.’

A few moments passed as her husband mulled this over. ‘I believe you’re right, my Fairy.’ Another pause, then he muttered,
‘I wish I knew where her folks are. I’d get the truth out of them.’

‘They don’t
know
the truth, Henry. Besides, I think you’re wrong thinking one of them is Jerry’s child. Put it out of your head, my dear Tchouki, before it twists your mind.’

He certainly did not mention it again but she could tell that he still believed it.

Even Mara noticed something. ‘Father’s getting too fond of Laurie,’ she had said some days later. ‘Anybody would think he was his grandfather.’

‘He wishes he was – that’s the trouble.’ Fay shook her head sadly. ‘It’ll take the heart out of him when Maggie takes that child away.’

Mara made the discovery. She was searching in the dresser for the games she had played, at different times, with Andrew, then with Jerry. They would amuse Laurie too. He wasn’t five years old yet but he was as bright as a button and into everything. That’s why she had waited till her mother and father took him out for a Sunday walk.

She found two boxes, Ludo and Nine Men’s Morris and the strange double-imaged photographs, which looked three-dimensional when seen through a special wooden instrument. That would keep the boy happy for hours at a time if she could only find the viewer. Thrusting her hand right to the back of the cupboard, her fingers touched a package. It didn’t feel like any of the games but curiosity made her lift it out. Her heart gave a jolt when she pulled back the wrappings. She should have known her mother would treasure this – Jerry’s balmoral bonnet with the antlered head badge – the badge of the Gordon Highlanders.

She had been too engrossed in worrying about Leo for her brother’s death to make the impact it should have done and regret made her run her fingers round the headband, a little crumpled now. Laying it flat on the table, she put one hand inside and used her other hand to get rid of the creases. That was how she came across the two documents, folded length-ways
so that they could fit into the band – as a stiffener, perhaps.

She flattened the stiff paper and read the first while she smoothed the second. A birth certificate! Her father was right, then. Jerry
had
fathered a child before going overseas or maybe while he was over there. She checked the date – October 1915. Father: Jeremy Rae; Residence: The Sycamores, Near Drymill, Aberdeenshire; Occupation: Gardener. Mother: Anna Cairns; Residence: The Sycamores, Near Drymill, Aberdeenshire; Occupation: Nurse.