The Secrets of Lake Road (25 page)

She doubted it.

What she knew about sex she had also learned from reading books. The information the other girls her age had imparted was mostly misinformation, like how you couldn’t get pregnant the first time, how anal sex wasn’t really sex. Books set Caroline straight. They saved her from the embarrassment of having to ask her mother to explain.

Although she had to give her mother props for standing up to the school board when they had threatened to remove some of the more graphic health books from the school library. Caroline’s mother had stepped out of her dark place and into the world, rallying a group of women’s rights activists into the largest protest the school had ever seen. With the support of the librarians and most of the other mothers behind her, the books stayed on the shelves. She was proud of her mother and embarrassed, too. The subject of sex had made Caroline feel all weird inside. It was a subject her mother cared about deeply.

She sometimes heard strange sounds coming from her parents’ bedroom, the moans, the creaking bed, the thumps and crashes. Once, she banged on the door, shouting for them to stop, thinking they were killing each other. They never answered her cry, but the rest of the night had been eerily quiet. She shuddered. Don’t think about it. No child ever wanted to think about their parents having sex, let alone the loud boisterous kind her parents had.

She searched in the cabinet above the toilet for supplies. Nothing. Her mother had never stayed at the cabin for more than a day or two, except for this summer. None of her feminine products were stored here. She guessed Gram went through her phase already,
meno
-something. What was she going to do? No way could she tell her mother. But what other choice did she have?

She thought about buying supplies at the Country Store. What if someone saw her? She’d die of embarrassment. Maybe she should tell Megan and she could help, but it felt too personal, a private matter she didn’t want anyone to know about. She plopped on the toilet and covered her face.
Stop being a baby,
she told herself.

“Caroline,” Gram said in a soft voice, and knocked on the bathroom door.

“Yeah,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Just a sec.” She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her. How was she going to get out of the bathroom without anyone knowing what happened? Her pajamas were stained, and she was still bleeding. “Gram,” she said. “Are you still out there?”

“Are you okay?” Gram asked.

“I need some help.” She opened the door a crack and waved Gram inside. She didn’t know which one of them was more embarrassed when she showed Gram the pajamas and underwear.

“Oh,” Gram said. “Is this the first time?”

Caroline nodded.

“Do you want me to wake your mother?”

“No.” She shook her head.

Gram touched her arm in a sympathetic way. “Stay here. I’ll bring back some clean clothes. We’ll go the store. I planned to go today anyway. You can come along and get what you need.”

Gram returned with clean clothes. “Use these for now.” She handed Caroline a stack of cloth rags she was supposed to put between her legs. She must’ve made a face, because Gram said, “It’s what women had to do before. It won’t kill you to use them for a little while.” She left Caroline alone in the bathroom, mumbling on her way out something about Caroline’s mother and not being better prepared, not stocking up for what was obviously coming.

Caroline stuffed a cloth rag in her underwear and pulled on her shorts. She felt as though she was wearing a diaper. She didn’t want any part of this. She finished getting dressed and met Gram in the kitchen.

“I stripped your bed,” Gram said. “I’ll go to the Laundromat later. Now, let’s get to the store. I have a long list.”

*   *   *

At the Country Store, Mrs. Nester made a point of ignoring Caroline, maybe because Gram was with her, and maybe because she regretted giving Caroline the old newspapers. Gram went about getting the food and paper products on her list. Caroline lingered in the candy aisle, working up the nerve to go down the aisle where the feminine products were located. She took a deep breath and turned the corner, pretending to be lost, looking for something, anything other than what she was there for. She plucked the first box of pads she saw off the shelf and tucked it under her arm.

With her head down, she darted away to find Gram and hide the small box in the grocery cart. She made it to the end of the aisle and bumped into someone. When she looked up, she was staring into Chris’s two-toned eye. He smiled. She fumbled the box and quickly hid it behind her back.

“Sorry,” she said, and scurried around him. She found Gram in the next aisle over, and she stuffed the box in the cart. Gram was too busy with her shopping list to notice the flustered look Caroline imagined was on her face.

Gram pushed the cart farther down the aisle. Caroline felt someone’s eyes on her back and turned to find Chris at the other end, watching her.

“You’re up to something,” he said, and folded his arms. The grin on his face made her feel as though he was the one hiding something.

“No, I’m not.”

He motioned for her to come closer. She looked over her shoulder for Gram, but she must’ve moved to a different aisle. Caroline took a tentative step in his direction. Her uncertainty seemed to amuse him.

“Come here,” he said. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Right, said the wolf to Little Red Riding Hood,
she thought, but walked up to him anyway. “What do you want?” she blurted, wishing she knew how to act cool.

“Why’d you do it?” he asked.

“Do what?”

“Why’d you release the snappers?” Something in his eyes told her that he liked the idea she might’ve done something bad.

“It wasn’t me.” She was a terrible liar.

“Yeah, it was.”

She crossed her arms and then uncrossed them. She pulled at her fingers. “Fine.” God, she was weak, but she wanted to believe she could trust him. She felt the need to explain. “It’s not right what they’re doing. I think it’s cruel and gruesome.”

“They’re just using the natural resources the lake provides.” He shrugged. “And it’s probably the only way they’re going to find her now.”

She looked at her feet. “I suppose,” she said, wondering if he would answer a question for her if she could work up the courage to ask.

He leaned in close. “What is it?”

Standing so close to him made her palms clammy. She cleared her throat. “Why doesn’t your mom like mine?”

“You don’t know?” he asked as though everyone knew the reason. “It has something to do with my uncle Billy and what happened to him. He died before I was born, but my mom and him were real close.” He shrugged. “She doesn’t go into it, but I guess your mom was Billy’s girlfriend at the time. She thinks your mom knows more about what happened to him that night than she’s saying.”

“So my mother was there when he drowned?”

Again he shrugged. “Listen, don’t put too much into anything my mom says. She can be real paranoid.” He tapped the visor of her baseball cap. “And don’t worry. Your snapper secret’s safe with me.” He winked before walking away with the same cool swagger as her brother.

Watching him go, Caroline was reminded of something she had learned in biology class. It was a lesson on genetics, how there were dominant and recessive genes, how certain traits were passed from parent to child, how certain characteristics could be detected throughout family members.

But what did her teacher call the way a person walks? Gait? Could two people from different families have a similar gait? She wasn’t sure, but it didn’t seem plausible. Maybe if two people spent every second together, they could pick up each other’s habits. But it didn’t make sense for Chris and Johnny. They were best friends a month or two out of the year. And yet they walked the same way, and yes, now that she thought about it, their smiles were similar too, with one cheek rising slightly higher than the other. Why hadn’t she noticed it before?

“There you are, Caroline,” Gram said. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” she said absently, and followed Gram to the checkout counter. Her thoughts scattered, unsettling the very balance of everything she believed she knew about Johnny and her family.

*   *   *

In the bathroom Caroline read the directions on the box of feminine products, which were simple enough. When the pad was in place, she left the bathroom and helped Gram unpack the rest of the groceries. She didn’t bother trying to be quiet. She knew by the opened bedroom door that her parents were up and gone. Johnny was snoring in the back bedroom and, knowing him, he wouldn’t wake until sometime after lunch.

Gram moved with purpose, trying to get the frozen items into the freezer. The day promised to be another scorcher. She turned on the oscillating fan. “Let’s get some air circulating,” she said. Her face looked flushed.

“I can do this,” Caroline said. “Maybe you should sit down.” It was the first she thought about the little trip to the hospital. Maybe Gram hadn’t been faking after all.

Gram laughed. “There’s nothing wrong with me,” she said. “I thought you knew that.”

“I do,” she said.

Gram patted Caroline’s shoulder.

They finished putting the rest of the groceries away. Gram mentioned heading to the Laundromat to take care of the other business, the sheets and soiled clothes.

“Why don’t you head on down to the lake? I bet they have the forms posted for the fishing tournament. That is, if you’re still considering entering.”

“They’re still having it?”

Gram put her hand on her hip and pursed her lips. “They wouldn’t cancel that thing for nobody. It’s all about greed. They think money rules the world.” She picked up the laundry basket. “Fools, that’s what they are, a bunch of ignorant, greedy fools.”

“I’m not sure I would’ve fished anyway, you know. It’s kid stuff.” After the morning event, it no longer felt like she should compete. The tournament was meant for kids twelve years old and younger. Maybe it was time she stepped aside to give the younger kids a chance to hook the largest lake trout. This would be the first summer since she could remember where she’d have to stand back and watch. In some ways, she felt her body betrayed her.

Gram looked at her. “Suit yourself.” She supposed Gram understood why.

Caroline rode her bike to the Pavilion. The place was a flurry of activity despite the underwater recovery team’s watercraft in the middle of the lake. The parking lot was sectioned off by wooden horses. Several people were vying for spots to set up their stands for the Trout Festival. Near the dock where the fishing competition would take place, men were assembling the poles for the larger tents. The sign-up sheets were posted on the Pavilion wall.

Caroline climbed the stairs and checked the names on the sheets. The Needlemeyer twins had signed up, along with Adam and the two young boys in the cabin next to
The Pop-Inn
. She recognized some of the other names, but they were all much younger. “Well, that settles it,” she said to herself, and stepped inside.

The jukebox was between songs. The bells and whistles from the pinball machines were sounding off. Customers stood in line at the snack stand, and the doors to the beach were flung open. She spied Megan leaning against the railing that led down to the beach, laughing at whatever Jeff,
her boyfriend,
was saying.

There was an air of excitement about the place, the vacationers getting swept away by the undercurrent of doing something maybe they shouldn’t be doing in the midst of an ongoing search. But wasn’t that part of the lure, to do the thing you shouldn’t? Outside in the open lot, more and more tents were constructed. Brightly colored signs were posted with promises of tasty desserts and handmade crafts. The tragedy that had started the summer was dissipating. Life at the lake was returning to normal.

Caroline found she was unable to get swept away so easily, thinking about her dream and Sara. She turned her back on the crowd at the snack stand, the kids at the pinball machines, on Megan and Jeff. She wondered if she’d find
M
+
J
carved into the Pavilion steps or painted on a rock in the woods, which brought her to thinking about her mother and Billy and, ultimately, her brother, Johnny.

She wondered if Chris’s mom, Dee Dee, had the answers to the secrets her family was unwilling to share. Maybe it was time she asked her.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Kevin pretended to be asleep when Jo got out of bed and left the cabin. She would often take long walks in the morning whenever he was home for any length of time. He took these early morning walking excursions as a personal affront. He couldn’t help it. It was as though being with him, sharing a bed for more than one night, suffocated her.

Good,
he thought.
Go.
He was glad to be alone. It gave him time to think. He had an uneasy feeling, or maybe it was more than that, something pushing him closer to the edge, ever since the sheriff had started asking questions. Even Caroline had asked him about Billy. He had been vague with his answers, sticking to the facts she had already confessed to knowing after reading an old
Lake Reporter
. Why Mrs. Nester had given his daughter those old newspapers baffled him. What was she looking to get out of it? And what in the hell were Jo and Johnny whispering about the night before?

He kicked the sheets off and ran his hand down his face. He felt as though he were on a collision course with the past, and everything he had worked so hard for was slipping away. He had done it all for the love of Jo. And he’d do it again if he had to. He wasn’t going to lie here and take it.

The cabin was empty except for Johnny snoring in the back bedroom. Damn kid could sleep the day away. Kevin decided to head down to the lake for the latest news. He wasn’t two steps out the door when he spotted the young woman Patricia stumbling down the dirt road. Her hair was tied in messy braids underneath a big crazy sun hat. Her blouse and flowing skirt looked slept in. Her sandals slapped the bottoms of her feet as she wove her way down the hill. If Kevin didn’t know better, he’d think she was drunk.