The Secret Prince (13 page)

Elly gripped him harder, even as his hand slid between her thighs and found her warm center. Although she had been ready and eager for him from the moment he joined her on the bed, and he must have sensed as much, he slowly caressed her, at first with only the very tips of his fingers, then with more urgency, moving the length of his long fingers within her. Her eyes shot wide open as flames rushed through her and she clung to him, unsure she could survive another second yet greedy for more. Wave after wave of delicious heat seized her and she writhed with pleasure and called out his name, begging him not to stop. Ever. Ever.

Then his hands parted her thighs and she eagerly took him into her, savoring, dying with the fullness of him as he slid in and out of her, hitting all the most deliciously sensitive spots with each passage, driving her mad with ecstasy. And she knew there would never be another man like this one. Dan. Who had touched her so deeply but would soon leave her. So that when he at last thrust himself fully deep into her, filling her, completing her, and she knew from the iron tension of every muscle in his body that he was nearing the final moments before his own climax, she held on and wouldn't let herself release wholly until she could no longer control the crescendo of her passion. Then she gave herself over utterly to him, and they soared together, each one nourished by the other's rapture.

 

Dan reluctantly left Elly's bed, just long enough to dispose of the protection he'd worn. His body felt satisfyingly spent, but his heart was in shreds. Even as he'd made love to her, he'd been in agony. The knowledge that this was the end of all they'd been to each other, rather than the beginning of a long and happy
life together, tore him apart. And so he wasn't thinking about what he was doing as he removed the condom, but something felt strange, and it occurred to him that he should pay attention. He thought he could feel the pad of his own finger against his thumb, where latex should have been.

He looked down.

It wasn't a large tear, but it was badly placed, near the tip of the sheath, and it seemed certain that the opening was large enough to have leaked. A hollow, gritty feeling settled in his stomach, and he felt a sudden lurch of desperation before he reminded himself of how slim the odds were that anything could have happened as a result of one unprotected incident.

He looked back through the open bathroom doorway to the bed where Elly lay, entwined in white sheets, her eyes closed, a sweet smile on her lips. He should tell her. But was there really any point in frightening her for no reason? This had been their last time, and it should be perfect for her. She was leaving him, and all he wanted was to let their good byes this night be as sweet as possible.

Let it be,
a voice from inside whispered. And so, he did.

E
lly woke to find Dan still beside her in the bed. For a moment, her heart soared as she reached out to stroke the fine, dark hairs in front of his ear. She rested her chin on the firm muscles of his shoulder and pressed her lips lightly to the side of his neck, now sexily rough with new whiskers.

She would miss this intimacy…miss Dan in any setting or context more than she could say. But it was clear he needed the family he had dreamt of for so long, and she was only in the way. There had never been any getting around that.

The tightness in her chest grew to a suffocating ache. Tears filled her eyes, blurring her vision of his long, strong body tangled in the sheets. She slowly lifted her hand away from his face and turned away to roll out of bed. The ache turned to a crushing pain that made it nearly impossible for her to straighten up or breathe
as she walked into the bathroom. Grabbing blindly at a strip of toilet paper she dabbed at her eyes and choked back sobs, wishing for strength.

Leaving Dan…oh, how was she ever going to do it!

Furious with herself for breaking down, Elly tossed the soggy tissue at the little wastebasket beside the toilet and missed. She bent to scoop it up and, this time from a squat, placed it there, her eyes focusing hazily on a filmy object beside her tear-damp tissue.

Something was wrong.

She couldn't have said what, at first. The condom was an amorphous shape, just a lump really. But it suddenly appeared to her to have
two
open ends, which was, of course, impossible. She lifted it gingerly from the basket, thinking to prove her eyes were playing tricks on her. But when the thin layer of material lay in her palm, she could see a finger-width tear, and her heart felt as if it had stopped.

“No,” she breathed. “Oh please, no.”

Perhaps the thing had torn as Dan removed it? Yes, that must be it. If it had happened while they'd been making love and he'd realized the problem, he would have told her. She swallowed, staring down at her hand.

Or would he? What if it had torn and he'd known it then done nothing about it? He had been inside her when he'd climaxed. The condom would have been useless. Her stomach churned, and she pressed a hand to her abdomen, her head whirling.

Then a worse thought occurred to her, as if there could be anything worse than carrying the seed of her own demise within her. What if Dan had intentionally sabotaged his own protection?

He had often said that he was sure she'd adjust to
motherhood if she only let herself stop worrying. Might he have decided to impregnate her, believing she'd then be forced to accept her condition and have his baby?

If he had tricked her or intentionally deceived her, she could never forgive him. If his crime had been less, and he simply hadn't realized until he'd removed the condom that anything was wrong, he was still at fault. She had a right to know.

Elly dropped the useless thing back into the basket and slowly stood up. She felt dizzy, and the space behind her eyes burned hot with anger then ice-cold from terror. So many emotions boiled within her she didn't know if she'd be able to speak.

Hold on,
she cautioned herself.
First, find out how much he knows.
At the very least he must have seen the hole, for he couldn't have removed it without noticing.

She walked stiffly back into the bedchamber, took her robe from the bedpost, slipped her arms into it and tied it tightly around her waist.

Dan rolled over and smiled at her. It took him a moment to realize that Elly was not smiling back. In fact, she looked downright grim, worse than grim…close to exploding. “What?” he asked.

“I want to know what happened last night,” she said evenly, though he thought he heard the beginnings of tears behind her words.

He slid up in the bed, pushed a pillow behind his head and tested one of his best boyish grins on her. “I had hoped you would remember. My ego is shattered.”

“Damn your ego, Daniel Eastwood!”
she spat. “Tell me when it happened—before, during or after we made love.”

His heart felt as if she was gripping it in her cold
little hand, and squeezing the life out of it. “What do you mean,
before?
”

“Then you know about the hole. Did you intentionally tear the condom we used last night?”

He was shocked. “Of course, I didn't. Why would I—” But the condemnation in her eyes said it all. “You seriously believe I would try to impregnate you against your will?”

“I don't know—you seem to want that family of yours awfully badly. How far would you go to have things your way?”

“Not that far. Never!” he roared, tossing back the bedcovers. “And I resent your implying—”

“I'm not implying anything,” she interrupted, her voice snapping like a tempest-tossed arctic wave. “I'm accusing you straight out, Daniel.”

“Well, you're wrong. I would never intentionally hurt you or force you to do anything you didn't want to do.” He found his briefs on the floor and pulled them on. How could she even think…? Well, he had kept the truth from her, so he supposed she might assume the worst. “I didn't realize it was damaged until it was too late.”

“And when was too late? Before or after you climaxed inside me?”

He held back his rage as best he could, but his face felt on fire and his fists clenched spastically at his sides. He wanted to hit something. Not
her,
but something. To break things and watch them splinter. To work out his fury in a physical way, because, damn it to hell, words certainly weren't getting through to her.

“It was too late
after
we'd made love and I was disposing of the condom!” he roared.

She blinked at him suspiciously. “You didn't realize it was torn until then?”

“No. Don't you think I would have stopped?”

“I don't know. Would you have?”

“Yes!” he bellowed without hesitation. He stepped toward her, but she backed away, suddenly looking frightened. “Listen, there was nothing I could do about it last night. Telling you then would only have upset you and—”

“And you don't think I'm upset now?”

He shook his head, at a loss for what to say to her. He was making a worse mess of this, but she wasn't making things any easier on him. “I don't think it's as bad as you might believe. The odds are so small. Where are you in your cycle?”

“Near the end,” she admitted. “My period should start in just a few days.”

“There. It's even better than I thought.” He was trying to speak in a calming tone, but he still wanted to shout at her that she was panicking for no reason. “Let's not spoil last night by fighting.”

She sighed, gnawed at her bottom lip and looked away from him. A tear slipped from beneath her eyelashes. “I just wish it didn't have to end this way.”

He moved cautiously toward her. “It doesn't have to.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, looking miserable. “It does. It really does. I couldn't stand wondering if whatever we chose for protection on any given night had worked. Nothing is foolproof. Last night should be enough evidence of that.”

“No guarantees,” he murmured, his heart aching. “Not in any part of life.” Of course he'd always known that. But now he couldn't even imagine the
family he'd once hoped for. Because no woman other than Elly would ever feel right to him as the mother of his children.

Elly lifted a shoulder in silent agreement. No guarantees.

“How soon will you leave Elbia?” he asked.

“As soon as possible. Work is waiting for me back home. I expect my father will stay to finalize the job here.”

“Let me know when you have made plans for your flight,” he said woodenly. “I'll want to see you off.”

She didn't answer. And two days later when she stepped into the helicopter on the pad behind the palace, there was only her father to see her off because she wanted it that way. She couldn't have survived a farewell scene with Dan. She barely survived the flight home as it was.

 

Elly waited one week before working up enough nerve to take the test. For all that time she argued against her instincts. Dan was right; the odds were that nothing at all had happened and she was letting her imagination run away with her. But she had to know.

On her first attempt, she was so nervous she dropped the paper strip in the toilet bowl, invalidating the test. On her second try, her hand was shaking so badly she nearly dropped it again. Somehow she managed to hold onto the test strip long enough to get a reading. Then she dropped it because it was positive.

Her entire body trembled as if she'd been plunged into a winter sea. Her stomach lurched, spasmed, then tightened into a knot so hard she had to grab for the edge of the sink and gasp for breath. She forced herself
to do a third test, just to be sure. It turned out the same way.

She was pregnant.

Elly didn't want this. This wasn't how her life was supposed to turn out. She had been perfectly happy without children. After all, some women weren't meant to be mothers. And she was one of them. If her mother had been satisfied having one child, she would most probably have lived a long life.

But if your mother had made the same choice that you made before you met Dan,
a voice murmured in her ear,
you would never have been born.

Elly sank to the bathroom floor and sat staring at the test slip.

A life. That was what this was all about. There was a life inside her, just as, at one time, she had been a tiny life inside her own mother. Her mother had cherished her and brought her into the world.

What would she do with this life Dan had given her? What could she do? She dropped her face into her hands and wept.

 

Dan returned to Ocean City with a sense that his world had been turned upside down, soundly shaken until all the reliable habits had clinked out like loose change to the ground, then stood back on its feet to face a totally new and foreign landscape. He no longer knew how to function.

While in Elbia, he'd longed to return to the Haven, to his turf, to daily swims up the shore and to his plans for City Kids. But figuring in all his dreams, he now realized, had been Elly. Standing on the beach and handing him a towel as her eyes grew huge when he strode out of the water. Walking around inside his
house, as relaxed and at home as she'd been with him in Elbia. Curled up in his arms in his bed. She was always there, in his mind and in his heart.

But no longer in reality.

The first week he was home, he concentrated on work—contacting his banker to arrange for the trust department to manage the royal annuity, putting his Realtor to work hunting up additional property to add to the Haven for his City Kids camp, bringing Kevin up to date on the many changes that would have to be made.

They were going to need a larger, full-time staff, including camp counselors, and they'd add a cafeteria and cook with helpers. These were all things that would have wildly excited him at any other time. But they seemed empty gestures without Elly.

Then there were Jacob, Allison and their two precious children. He had a brother now, a sister-in-law, and he was an uncle! He was so very proud of Jacob and all he'd done for his little country. Jacob had been generous to him, personally, but had also helped so many unfortunate people outside the family through the royal charities.

Aside from all that, he envied Jacob. Not for his vast wealth or for the power of his title. He envied his brother for the love his family bestowed on him daily, without reserve. And he wished with all his soul that Elly had been able to give him that kind of unlimited love…for he had believed he was capable of loving her, if only she would let him.

At the end of a week, his pain and disappointment had gnawed a hole through his heart so immense that he no longer feared her rejection. He had to talk to her,
had to hear her voice even if all she did was send him away again.

He found the business card she'd given him on the day they'd met and punched in the long-distance number for Anderson Genealogical Research. An answering machine picked up, Frank's gravelly voice: “Your call is very important to us. Please leave your name, time of call and phone number so that we can—”

Dan hung up. His brow was sweating and his hand shook as he set the receiver down. An hour later, he tried once more. Again there was the machine. The following day, he called three times. And the next day three more times. Finally, he left a message: “It's me, Elly. Call. We have to talk.” But four days later Elly hadn't called him back.

He was desperate, fuming and raw from her silent rebuffs. She had obviously put their affair behind her, but he could not forget. Slowly the thought came to him. A family was what he'd always wanted, yes. But if it came to choosing between having Elly and having babies with another woman, he knew of only one answer.

It must be Elly.

Perhaps it was too late, but perhaps not. He picked up the phone to make one last call. Long distance, to Elbia.

Jacob seemed happy to hear from him. “So have you already begun construction of your additions?” he teased, knowing how excited Dan had been to start work on his new project.

“Let's just say the ball is rolling but it has a long way to go. The reason I called was to see if Frank Anderson is still there. I've been trying to reach him through his office, but all I get is a machine.”

“He's here,” Jacob said. “I can have him call you.”

“Good,” Dan said. “I have to ask him for a favor.”

“Oh? You need some additional research on your family?”

“No, I need to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage.”

He could hear Jacob half choking, half laughing at the other end of the line. “You see,” Jacob sputtered, “I knew something was up between you two. I wish you all the happiness.”