The Secret Love of a Gentleman (31 page)

She was not a fool; nothing would succeed. She did not love him any more.

What they’d had had been flawed and broken from the start, and now it was past. For the first time she felt truly free of him. She did not love him, she loved Rob more than she had ever loved Albert.

When the music ceased Albert let her go and stepped back, then bowed formally, as though it had merely been a conciliatory dance. The eyes watching them followed him when he walked away.

Her hands trembled as she turned to leave the floor. But pride raged within her regardless. She had danced with him and held her head high, and he had begged her for her return, and she had rejected him. She clasped her hands together to hide their shaking. She longed to walk to Rob, but the whole room would notice it and think it odd, and so she walked to Drew.

Tears gathered in her throat in the aftermath of the storm, they hurt as if Albert’s hand clasped her neck and tried to stop her from breathing and the amber necklace at her throat burned into her skin. Yet beneath that turmoil of emotion was still the pride in herself that she had faced him and withstood.

But she still now felt a need for some air and solitude, and yet she would not walk from the room and let Albert think he had chased her from society. She had returned and she was not going to let him think he had scared her away.

Drew’s fingers caught her elbow as soon as she reached the group, and he steered her further away from the floor amongst the family. They surrounded her as if to provide a curtain of privacy.

“Do you wish to leave?” Drew whispered. She leaned on his grip, and his strength, because for the moment she had none.

“No, I have to stay. I will not let him think he has made me run, nor let him see he can disturb me. I have to dance and make it look as though all is well.”

“Refreshments, then.” He’d slipped back into the fiercely protective Drew of years ago.

She nodded.

The Pembroke family cleared a path for them as they walked out, and then walked about the edge of the floor. Eyes all about the room traced her movements. She sensed Rob’s over them all. Drew led her to a table filled with glasses of champagne, and she took one from a footman. The glass trembled as she lifted it to her lips, trying to stand stiffly and appear as though she and Drew were merely taking a rest from the dancing.

“I’m sorry I was not watching.”

“You could have done nothing. He stopped me when I returned from the withdrawing room. I should not have gone alone.”

Her eyes looked past Drew’s shoulder. Rob walked into the room, but he was not alone, he was with his father and Mary. Yet beyond him there were dozens of people walking through.

It had been the supper dance.

“May we sit?” she whispered, terrified her legs would give way.

Drew’s fingers held her arm again. “Come.” He nodded at Mary as she walked closer. She smiled as they turned to occupy a table for them all.

“Forgive me. I am still a little shaky,” she said to Mary as she sat down. Then she looked up. Rob’s eyes were pools of concern. He longed to take her away and speak to her, and offer comfort, she could see it there.

“I will fetch you something to eat, Caro. Mary.” Drew touched Caro’s shoulder.

“I’ll come with you and help carry the plates.” Rob stated.

“I will fetch you something to eat, Ellen.” Edward withdrew a chair for Ellen.

It was as if they had all been shaken up.

Sipping her champagne, Caro watched the entrance to the room, but Albert did not come in and nor did his wife.

“I think Kilbride has gone. I’ve not seen him,” Drew said when he sat down beside her, and put a plate before her. Rob gave a plate to Mary then sat down opposite Caro.

Mary and her mother began talking of the children, sweeping aside what had happened.

When Caro had eaten half her food, Rob’s Uncle Richard strode across the room to their table and leant down. “Kilbride has gone.”

Relief swept through her, even though Richard had probably made things worse if he had forced Albert to go.

She looked at Rob. He smiled at her, his eyebrows lifting to say,
are you well?

She shook her head slightly. She longed to go and if Albert was not here it would not matter if she left. She turned to Drew as the notes of a country dance began. “Would you dance with me now, and then ask Rob to take me home?”

“I will, but I will take you home, Caro.”

“I do not wish to spoil Mary’s evening; she rarely has the chance to see her parents. Rob will not mind.”

Drew’s hazel eyes gained a dozen leagues in depth, but then he stood and walked to the other side of the table. He pressed a hand on Rob’s shoulder and leant to his ear. Then he returned and lifted his hand for her to take.

“You cannot leave with Rob alone,” he stated through the edge of his lips as they walked to the floor, we will all leave. Mary and I will come with the two of you. If you left with Rob alone, people would notice you both gone and come to other conclusions.”

She swallowed against the bitter lump in her throat at his harsh warning, and yet, of course, he was right.

At the end of the dance they walked over to Rob’s family and said their goodbyes. Rob was not amongst them.

Then Drew walked across the room with her and Mary to say goodnight to the Forths.

She curtseyed and told them not to worry when they apologised about Albert. Then she walked out into the hall. For the first time in an hour Caro felt able to breathe. Rob was there. He held her cloak in his hands as a footman held Mary’s.

He smiled at her, a smile that said,
how are you?
Once more.

Better now I am close to you.

His hands trembled as he set her cloak on her shoulders, and when she turned to take his arm there was another look in his eyes, a look she had often seen in Drew’s—a burning need to protect and defend.

Chapter 27

In the carriage ride home, Drew offered to drop Rob at his apartment, but he declined. His heart still hit against his ribs in a sharp rhythm. He would not be able to sleep unless he had a chance to speak with Caro.

Anger seethed in his blood. It was difficult not to clench his hands into fists. He wished he could have walked onto that floor and thrown a fist at Kilbride, several fists. Yet he was angry with himself too. Why had he not been watching?

Caro’s thigh was near his and he could feel her trembling still.

Why had he not been close enough to prevent it?

“I’m sorry, Caro.” Drew stated. “I should have been looking and ensured you came back to Mary.”

“I’m sorry too,” Rob stated. “If I had seen him approach you, I would have stopped him.”

Drew made a low sound of frustration in the back of his throat.

“It was no one’s fault,” Caro answered.

“How did he get hold of you?” Drew asked.

“I left Peter to use the retiring room and when I returned Albert was in my path. When I passed through the crowd, he caught a hold of my arm. I could not extricate myself without causing a scene, and neither of you could have gripped my other arm and begin a tug of war.” She glanced at Rob, then looked at Drew.

“I could have waited in the hall for you to come down, and then he would not have been able to stop you,” Rob stated, the need to be her protector burned in his blood.

“And the entire place may have noted such a thing and rumours would have begun,” Drew barked. “It is I who needs to stand with Caro, Rob.”

A sigh left Caro’s lips.

It was the second time Drew had snapped at Rob tonight, and his unspoken words were
stay away, she is my responsibility
.

Yet she ought to be mine.

“What did he say? Did he threaten you?” Rob longed to hold her hand at least, to offer comfort.

She shook her head. “Albert speaks with actions, not threats.” A shaky breath pulled into her lungs. “He asked me to become his mistress.”

“No!”
The bastard
. What a thing to say!

“Caro.” Mary sounded horrified, and she leant across the carriage to briefly clasp Caro’s hand.

“I would like to hit him.” Drew stated bluntly, his right hand gripping into a fist and banging on his thigh.

“I think he truly thought I might accept. He was always arrogant. He claimed he is unhappy with his wife, but I think perhaps it may simply be because he liked to control me, and now he has no control over me, he wishes to claim it back.”

Rob could not look at her any more, instead he looked out of the window into the dark streets beyond the carriage. He could not protect her fully unless they announced an engagement. Perhaps they ought to do it…

When they reached Pembroke House, Drew offered Rob a drink as they walked up to the drawing room, and once he was there poured one for Caro too. “Drink this,” he stated as he handed it to her.

Her hand shook as she took it.

Drew was watching her with a look of remorse on his face, a look that said he wished he could wrap Caro up and protect her from the world. But that was what Drew had done for years; it had not been the answer. Caro was now dealing with her past in the way it ought to have been dealt with.

But my marriage was not always bad. I loved him.
She had told Rob that in the summer.

Rob wondered what she’d thought when Kilbride made his offer.

Envy pricked his skin. As she’d danced with Kilbride, Rob had watched them. They’d looked well together. He wondered what people thought of him and Caro.

He wished to speak to her alone, but Drew did not retire, even when Mary did, so when the clock struck one, Rob stood. Caro must be tired, she must wish to sleep, and he assumed Drew had no intention of leaving the two of them alone.

“I’ll take my leave. I shall see you tomorrow.”

Drew nodded. “Shall I call for a carriage?”

“No, I will walk. I am comfortable to do so, and it will clear my head,”
and dispel some of my anger
. He was too emotional tonight; he could not hide his concern for Caro.

Caro stood.

He took her hand. “Goodnight, I hope that what happened this evening does not disturb your sleep.”

He leant to kiss her cheek, as he might kiss one of his sisters. “Goodnight.”

Her skin darkened. He could not see the redness in the candlelight, yet he knew it was a blush.

When he let her hand go, he smiled and bowed slightly, then he turned to look at Drew. “Goodnight.”

“Rob,” was all Drew said.

Rob walked from the room. It would be a dark, cold walk home tonight; he did not have an outdoor coat.

~

The candle in the room flickered as Rob left and shut the door. Caro looked at Drew. She had hoped he would leave them alone, but he had not. She’d hoped if he’d left her alone with Rob that Rob might be able to come to her room. She longed for Rob’s comfort in her bed tonight.

“Sit down again, Caro,” Drew said with a weary note.

She did sit because there was something odd about Drew’s voice, and his eyes held a strange look of disappointment. “Why?”

“I need to speak to you. Give me your glass and I’ll pour you another.”

She picked it up from a table and gave it to him. At least the liquor would help her sleep. She did not think she would sleep without it.

He returned to her bearing two glasses. He gave hers back to her and she sipped from it when he sat.

He swallowed a mouthful from his own glass, but did not speak.

“What is it, Drew?”

He held his glass in both hands, sitting forward in the chair. “God, Caro, I do not know how to say this to you.”

“Say what?”

He swallowed, although he had not taken another sip, and looked down at the floor, then he looked up and met her gaze. “He is infatuated with you. It is obvious to me. It must be visible to others too.”

“Who?”

“Rob.” He held her gaze as the word struck.

She sipped from her glass, the brandy burned her throat as a blush burned beneath her skin.

“What is between you? Is there something?”

She shook her head, not looking at Drew but looking at her glass.

“Caro,” he said in an impatient, impassioned tone. “I am not a fool. I have eyes. He rarely looks away from you when we are out, and he does not in general dance, which is not unusual for a young man, and yet he takes pains to dance with you. Then tonight he deems to tell me how I ought to care for you. I was glad of your friendship with him in the summer, glad that he has helped you, but, Caro, how far has it gone?”

She looked at him, confused, the heat in her cheeks burning harder.

“How far, Caro?”

She shook her head, unwilling to discuss what was private.

One hand left his glass and lifted to swipe through his hair. “I have no idea how to say this to my sister. But Mary and Rob are not like us. They have not been brought up to endure shallow hearts. They have never felt cold inside and unloved… Damn… I am not explaining myself well, am I? But damn it all to hell, Caro, I hope you have not been behaving like Elizabeth.”

“Elizabeth…” their eldest sister.

“Yes. But it seems there is only one way to say this to you. Have you seduced him, lain with him? Mary’s bloody brother.”

“I… I…,” she stuttered.

“Rob is not like our family, nor is Mary. They do not have affairs. Rob’s reputation is well known. He does not
dally with women. His cousins tease him about his morality.”

“I did not intend—“

“If you have slept with him, as far as I’m aware, you would be his first. Are you his first? Have you been playing games with the boy? If so, you will hurt him.”

Drew’s words cut, slicing though her middle. “He is not a boy, and I am not playing games with him.”

“Aren’t you? He is one and twenty, with no property of his own. He is uncertain of what he wishes to do, and even when he decides, he will need to work for five years or more to earn enough to purchase somewhere, and he is fiercely independent. That is very important to him.”

She did not know what to say.

“You came to town to see him, did you not?”