The Secret Life of Daydreams (19 page)

Josh gestured to the sign on the road. “I think we’re here. Do you remember where your tia lived?”

Sofia gave Josh the directions, and they soon found the house where she and her aunt had spent many happy summers.

Josh pulled up to what had been part of the private drive. It ran parallel to the south side of the property. It was now shared access with a small public park. Towering trees shaded the whole area. Sofia didn’t remember them being that tall, or even that many.

Her memories were locked on her perceptions as a child. Those were the strongest, despite the one time she’d visited Tia Joana when she was at university. When her aunt passed away, Sofia and her family had attended the funeral at the local parish church, and Sofia had missed seeing the house one last time.

She stepped out of the car gingerly. The service gate stood proud and stoic, capped by scrolled stone and with a carved granite cross on top. A section of the high wall to the east was gone, the gap covered by a dark-green tarp and trailing wisteria vines. It was too late in the season for the blooms, but the smell lingered even if only in her mind. Sofia walked along the side to the west until she came to an iron fence.

She peered through the rusted bars at the three-story house. The dirty paint peeled in spots, the stucco work had fallen off in one corner and some of the blue and yellow tiles were missing from under the eaves of the terracotta roof.

“It was quite the grand house.” Josh stepped up beside her.

She’d forgotten about him for a moment. The pit in her stomach weighed down at the dismal view. “Yes, it was. I never saw it at its best, but it looks so much worse now.”

“What happened? Do you know who owns it?”

“No, I don’t.”

He gestured toward a spot on the wall. “Does that mean it’s for sale?”

A sign hung between two windows. Faded red letters said
Vende-se
along with a phone number. How long had it been there?

She nodded. “Yes, it’s for sale.” How had it come to this?

Sofia walked around the corner to a narrow stone-paved sidewalk, where the house jutted out on the west side. She craned her head at the busy street, and Josh halted her from stepping down, holding on to her hand.

He meant well, but she was impatient at the heavy traffic while they waited for a few minutes. Once on the other side, she walked ahead of Josh and looked up at the house across the street, shielding her eyes from the sunlight. A custom tile shield with the name
Quinta do Souto
was positioned on the wall between the center windows, surprisingly intact.

When they crossed back, the marks of abandonment in the garden by the south side stood out. Some of the plants lived on, despite the odds, as silent sentinels and final witnesses of the tenacity of the old place. The patch of mint ran wild and the crowded rosemary topiaries tumbled out of shape.

Sofia inhaled, unsure if the scents were real or from her recollection. The memories wrestled within her, rushing to come out, and tripping on each other in their haste to the surface. She was powerless to stop them, even if she so wished.

Josh stood a few paces away with his camera raised to his eyes. He must have had it in the trunk and she’d missed him getting it out. Conflicted, she watched him take picture after picture. It was easier to keep in mind the old image she had of the house than to have a solid remembrance of how it looked now. The noise of the camera shutter irritated her. She closed her eyes for a second, and then turned to him. “Josh, could you put the camera away?”

His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Yeah, of course. Sorry.”

The request had come out more bluntly than she’d intended. She couldn’t explain why she felt at odds, but Josh didn’t deserve her annoyance and rude manners. After a few minutes, he sat down on one of the benches in the public garden, not too far from the parked car. Sofia walked over and joined him.

“I’m sorry, that was rude of me back there.”

He glanced at her, his dark eyelashes shading the blue of his eyes while he busied himself with the camera settings. “Don’t apologize. I get too caught up in the moment sometimes and forget that having the camera in front of me at all times can be kind of annoying to others.”

When he raised his eyes to the house, she followed his gaze. What did he think of it?

He put the camera in its bag and turned to Sofia. “Tell me about your tia.”

His voice was soft and intimate and she cherished the small moment. The hesitation was there, unexplained, even though she didn’t want to fight the reality of what the house meant to her. When the feeling came to share, she welcomed it, eager to tell Josh of Tia Joana and her times at Quinta do Souto.

“When I was nine, my parents brought me to spend all summer with Tia Joana. She was my father’s older sister, and she’d been living here for some time. I remember the first time I saw the house, so large and imposing.”

Sofia glanced at Josh. He leaned back, with a nod of encouragement. She stood and approached the stone wall.

“The small formal garden by the east entrance was my favorite.” She pointed, and Josh followed the gesture. “There was also a vegetable plot and fruit trees by the utility gate, over there.” She indicated the west side. “Even then it had definitely seen better days, and was too large for just one person.” Sofia propped an elbow against the bottom of the iron railing. “In my young mind, though, it was perfect, like a palatial house fit for a young princess. It was dream-worthy.” She gestured at a window toward the west side of the house. “That was a dining-room we never used. The furniture was pushed against the walls, draped in cloths. It was a large room, with wide floor planks. It came to be the ballroom.”

Josh stood and stepped closer. “Did you do any dancing there?”

A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “I did. I danced with the prince of my dreams. I had a dress I wore to church sometimes. When Tia Joana napped, I’d put it on and grab the stick broom from the kitchen and come here to dance with him.” She held her hands up to an imaginary dance partner, and swayed.

Sofia’s mind turned wistfully to those days. She had never doubted her dreams back then. It had been a magical place, where she believed everything came true. She’d even daydreamed about returning to the house with her prince one day, the secret wish of her heart. Her first impressions of the grand house had been skewed in her young mind, and she wished things could once again be that simple.

“So your parents would just drop you off all summer?” Josh asked.

“That was the plan. We all needed a break from one another by that point. And this was my favorite thing ever.”

He smiled. “I bet. Like summer camp, but with your favorite aunt. What’s not to like?”

“It was more than that.” She hesitated before continuing. “My father never kept a job for too long and we moved a lot around Famalicão and Guimarães. Sometimes I was able to finish the school year in the same school, and sometimes I wasn’t.” Her fingers flew to touch the pendant around her neck. “Coming here to spend the summers with Tia Joana was the only time when I felt safe and at peace. There was security here, which I never truly felt I had with my parents.”

Josh touched her arm. “That must have been hard. I’m sorry.”

They returned to the park bench. In the late afternoon, the light streamed through the low branches, casting a soft glow amid the shadows.

“My time here was like a refuge. I loved spending time with Tia Joana.” She played with a lock of hair, wishing she had braided it instead. “When I was younger, I’d spend my days following her around as she did the gardening or took care of the chickens that roamed the yards. We’d collect the eggs in a large wicker basket and take them to the village store to trade for flour and sugar.

“She’d teach me about the herbs and vegetables from the garden in the morning, and we’d sit together shelling peas or beans in the shade of the back porch after lunch, when the sun was too hot for anything else.”

She raised a hand to the eastern side of the house. Josh’s gaze followed her indication. “On that side over there is the back porch. It was cooler in the afternoon so that’s where we’d sit. Sometimes we read. But she always had stories to tell about almost everyone in the village.”

Josh crossed his ankles and relaxed against the bench.

The words were clear, even after all these years. “She would say to me
Now listen to me, Sofia. See what happened to that Ana Lúcia?
”
She
looked toward the village center, even though they were too far to see anything. “Most girls and women around here were named Ana, Marta, or Lúcia back then, as homage to the local saints. Then she’d say,
That’s what happens to girls who daydream all day long.
”

“I guess Tia Joana was a bit of a busybody,” she continued. “Her stories were always cautionary tales meant to warn me off the wiles of men. Even though I was too young to fully understand her meaning, I paid close attention. She made me promise to be a smart girl.”

Josh shifted in the park bench. “You never got in trouble?”

“Of course not. My answer was always
sim, Tia
even when I didn’t know what she meant.”

Josh chuckled, and raised an eyebrow at her. “And you never misbehaved behind her back?”

“And be sent home?” She shook her head. “She’d smile at me and pat my head, then say,
Menina esperta
. I did feel like a smart girl.” Some of the memories were so clear. “It was like a pact between us, these roles we had of storyteller and story listener.”

“It sounds like you had a great relationship with her,” Josh said, resting an arm over the back of the bench.

“Yes, we were really close. I guess we kind of adopted each other. She didn’t have any children, and my mother wasn’t very affectionate.” How easy it was for her to admit to it now. “I never had the courage to ask about Tia’s story. I heard the rumors about this great love in her life, from whom she had been separated. I always regretted not asking her.”

A flush crept over her cheeks and she turned her face away from Josh, pretending to look at the house. Why did she talk of lost loves with Josh? It was a sore topic for both of them.

“There were some times when I’d catch her staring at the horizon with a sad smile on her lips. I always knew she guarded something.” The longing tone couldn’t be avoided. “In fact, I remember thinking she daydreamed more than I did.” She straightened. “Not that I would have called her on something she wanted to keep secret.”

Josh turned to her and his expression was one of encouragement.

“My last summer with her was after tenth grade.” There was a catch in her voice. “After that, I didn’t get to see her for a few years; I don’t even remember why. I was at university when my father drove us here to see her.” She paused at the bleak memory. “I remember holding her frail hand in mine, her fingers long and bony, yet so familiar. She had aged too much in just a few short years. I sat there for some time, reliving all the moments that we shared.” She pointed at the top floor of the house. “That corner room was hers. She could see the front garden and fruit trees from that window.” Sofia sighed and twisted the end of her braid in her fingers. “Before we left, she whispered my name and told me not to lose sight of my daydreams.”

A small tear rolled down her cheek, and Sofia passed a finger to wipe it. She had never told anyone else so much about Tia Joana. There was a tie between Josh and her, with all that she’d shared with him. It was bittersweet, but she was glad she’d done it.

Josh reached in his back pocket and handed her a clean napkin, which she used to dab her eyes.

“Thanks for sharing that with me. She sounds like she was a great lady,” he said.

“She was the best.” She looked toward the road, where the traffic hadn’t slowed down. “I did her vicarious work in the temple two years ago.”

Josh fixed his eyes on her and was quiet for a long moment. If only she could read his mind.

“It was one of the most spiritual experiences I’ve had in my life,” Sofia continued.

He just nodded, with a small smile, but held back any words about the subject. Did he really not miss going to the temple anymore?

He turned to the house and she followed. “If the house was your aunt’s, why is it not in the family now?”

Sofia blew out a frustrated sigh. “That’s the question everyone asked after her funeral. It turns out my father was not a very truthful person. He made my mother believe the house belonged to his parents. The truth was that Tia Joana rented it from an old family in the region, and we had no claim to it.”

Josh let out a low whistle. “Wow. That’s just crazy.”

“It was a very hard time for our family, very stressful.” Sofia stood, unable to remain seated any longer. She walked closer to the old iron fence.

Josh came to stand next to her, their shoulders and arms touching, and he laced his fingers through hers. “I’m glad you had this place and your tia to come to.”

She felt so close to him at the simplest contact. The awareness of it was stronger than she’d thought possible, and everything in her wished to lean into him and borrow some of his strength.