The Secret Ingredient (43 page)

Then Andie knew, that's what she had to do. Confront the woman and find out what was going on. Get her to see sense, face up to her responsibilities. It was probably hopeless, but she had to do something to try to sort out this mess. She wiped her eyes and looked around to get her bearings. She turned down the next street, and headed in the direction of Ross's apartment.

Andie parked outside the apartment block and checked her face in the rearview mirror. She wiped the smudges from under her eyes and fixed her hair, still flattened from the stupid chef's hat. Well, she wouldn't have to worry about that any more. She got out of the car and walked wearily up to the entrance. She had no idea if Tasha would even be here, but if she really was doing a runner, she had to come back some time, and she would assume the coast was clear for the next couple of days. Andie still had keys to the apartment, she had meant to give them back to Ross, but the opportunity had never presented itself. So if there was no answer, she would just let herself in and wait, see if she could get any clues as to what was going on. Andie had vowed never to set foot in the place again, but desperate times . . .

She pressed the button on the intercom at the entrance and waited. Her heart lurched when she heard the click and Tasha's voice came through the speaker. ‘Who is it?'

She cleared her throat. ‘Tasha, it's me, Andie.'

There was no response, but she didn't hang up either.

‘I need to speak to you,' Andie persisted.

‘Is Ross all right?'

‘Well, no, actually. He's very upset that you haven't been to see him.'

‘I doubt that he's asking for me,' she said bluntly.

‘Tasha, we have to talk.'

‘I have nothing to say to you.'

‘Look, I still have keys to the apartment, but I gave you the courtesy of not just barging in on you. But I will, if you won't let me in.'

There was a long pause.

‘I only want to talk,' said Andie. ‘It's not as though I can force you to do anything you don't want to do.'

There was another pause, and finally the buzz sounded, releasing the door. Andie pushed it open and stepped into the foyer. She caught the lift up, and as she walked out into the hall, she could see the door of the apartment was ajar. Andie stood tentatively in the doorway and knocked.

‘I'm in here,' Tasha called.

God, she expected Andie to have this out with her in the bedroom? She sighed. ‘Okay.' She picked her way slowly across the living room. She wondered if Tasha would have tidied up if she realised she was going to have company, but somehow Andie doubted it. Clothes were strewn across chairs, shoes scattered around the floor, cups, glasses and plates of half-eaten food were spread across the kitchen bench. She couldn't help noticing the splashes of hot pink and purple – garish picture frames, a lava lamp, and some ridiculous fluffy cushions tossed on the chesterfield; she was surprised Ross tolerated that, the thing was sacrosanct.

Andie took a breath as she approached the bedroom door. It was open. ‘Tasha?'

‘Yeah.'

As she walked in, she saw two large suitcases lying open on the bed – a different bed, not their marital bed, the one they'd defiled. Tasha was busy folding clothes.

‘So you're actually leaving him?' said Andie.

‘What does it look like?' She glanced across at Andie without really looking at her. ‘Look, I don't have much time, so just say whatever you came here to say.'

‘What are you doing, Tasha? You're really going to leave him at a time like this?'

She sighed. ‘You can think whatever you want to about me, you will anyway. But the fact is, I didn't sign up for this.'

‘You hooked up with a man thirty years your senior,' Andie pointed out. ‘It was on the cards.'

‘Ross is, or was, an extremely fit, healthy man,' she returned. ‘I didn't see this coming.'

‘And you don't feel any responsibility?'

She turned to look at Andie. ‘For his heart attack?'

‘No, for him as a person,' she said. ‘A person you are in love with, that you're in a relationship with.'

‘He doesn't love me,' she said squarely. ‘He's still in love with you.'

‘No, he isn't. It's just talk.'

She rolled her eyes. ‘It's not just talk. I've had to put up with it all week. I was the one there every day, sitting by his bedside, and all he could talk about was you, when you were coming in, why you couldn't take time off work to be with him. And then that doctor is saying he'll have to be looked after for another couple of weeks, longer, that he can't drive, that he's going to have anxiety, depression . . .' She shook her head. ‘And I'm the one who's supposed to put up with all that? Take more time off work while he mopes around for you? I can't do it. And I'm not going to.'

‘Okay,' said Andie.

Tasha frowned at her.

‘Okay, I understand.'

‘No offence, but I really don't give a fuck whether you understand or not.'

Andie took a deep breath. ‘I'm just saying that I get why you're angry. I'm afraid Ross has always been self-centred. It's not that he loves me more than you, he just wants everyone fussing over him.'

Tasha returned to her packing, bustling around the room. Andie wasn't even sure she was listening.

‘This just seems very sudden, Tasha. You were still hanging on to him this morning before his surgery. You must have feelings for him. I can't help thinking you're going to regret this.'

‘I don't believe in regrets.'

Nice to have the luxury.

‘All I'm suggesting is why don't you take a couple of days off, have a break from all of this? Then you could sort out something with the kids. If you have to work, they can come and stay with him, I'll even help when I can. Ross does need to have someone with him at first, but it doesn't have to be you all the time.'

Tasha had actually stopped halfway through to listen. Andie only hoped she was getting through to her.

But suddenly she shook her head. ‘No, I think a clean break is best.' She pranced off into the bathroom, returning a moment later with a bag of toiletries she must have packed earlier.

Now Andie was just pissed off. ‘So a clean break involves maxing out his credit cards before you leave him in the lurch?' she accused.

Tasha narrowed her eyes. ‘How do you know about that?'

‘The bank called. Unfortunately I'm still his legal wife.'

Tasha shrugged. ‘I paid some bills, and I ordered some furniture, stuff I'm going to need to set myself up again. I gave up a lot to be with Ross, and I'm just reimbursing myself for my losses. I can do it the simple way, like this, or I can get a lawyer afterwards, like you did.'

‘That was entirely different, Tasha. We were married for ten years.'

‘Yes, and you were pretty quick to cut and run.'

‘I'm sorry?' said Andie.

‘You didn't waste any time arranging that property settlement. And you made sure it all went your way.'

Andie steeled herself. ‘I don't know what Ross told you, Tasha, but I didn't take anything of his, I didn't want anything.'

‘But now you've got your inheritance all to yourself. He was entitled to some of that, you know.'

‘I didn't hide it from him,' Andie said, almost gritting her teeth. ‘Ross ran everything by his lawyers . . .' She really didn't want to be discussing this with Tasha, it wasn't any of her business anyway.

Tasha was glaring at her. ‘Do you really think Ross would begrudge me this? You know what he's like. If I asked for a cash settlement, he'd give it to me.'

She was right. Part showing off, part guilt money, probably.

‘Now, as you can see, I'm very busy, so if you've said everything you came to say . . .'

‘Just one more thing,' said Andie. ‘Are you going to go and see him, tell him yourself?'

She shrugged. ‘I wasn't planning to.'

‘Tasha, that's really unfair to put it onto the kids to tell him.'

‘Then you tell him.'

‘It's not my responsibility!'

‘Fine,' she retorted. ‘I'll send him a text.'

Andie blinked. ‘Are you serious?'

‘Don't worry, I'll make it a long one.'

Andie rolled over in bed, hugging her pillow and staring out the window. She was going to have to visit Ross today, she couldn't put it off any longer. She wasn't up to dealing with him last night, and it had occurred to her that she didn't have to. Everyone would be assuming she was at work, so that meant she could at least have one lousy night to herself.

How had her life come to this? A couple of days ago she had a great job, a blossoming relationship, and now she was unemployed and alone, and not only that, she was going to have to coordinate her ex-husband's post-operative care. When she wasn't able to get onto either Brooke or Matty yesterday, she'd finally called Joanna.

‘Sorry to bother you,' Andie said when she answered. ‘I was wondering if you've talked to Ross?'

‘No, but Brooke called,' she explained, ‘said he was sulking that you didn't stay to see him after his operation. Oh, and apparently Tasha has gone MIA.'

‘So Ross hasn't heard anything from her? Not even a text message?'

‘He doesn't have his phone, as far as I know,' said Joanna.

Of course. They wouldn't have let him have it in the high-dependency unit, with all that equipment around, and now he had to be careful about mobile phones near the implant. Andie hadn't expected Tasha to text him immediately, but it didn't matter, he wasn't going to get her break-up message anyway.

‘Is there anything wrong, Andie?' Joanna was asking.

She took a deep breath. ‘I have something to tell you . . .'

Joanna had insisted that she would break the news to Ross about Tasha, bless her. Andie thought it was her own responsibility, as she was the one who had got it from the horse's mouth, so to speak, but Joanna assured her that she was the best person to handle Ross. She would be sympathetic, but she wouldn't take any nonsense. And nonsense was all Andie was likely to get from him. Joanna had reminded her again to keep her guard up, that now Ross would be more desperate than before to get her back. He would play on her feelings of guilt and responsibility, and they both knew how convincing he could be.

Andie was startled now by a knock on the door. She glanced at the time. It wasn't even eight-thirty. There was another knock, a couple of knocks, louder this time.

‘Just a minute,' she called, scrambling off the bed. Hold your horses.

‘Andie, it's me, Dominic.'

She froze, standing in the middle of the room.

‘I have to talk to you.' There was a pause. ‘Just for a minute. Can you let me in, please?'

She had to deal with him sometime, and she had a feeling he wouldn't go away until she did.

‘All right, I'm coming.' She grabbed her robe and tied the sash around her waist. Her heart was pounding as she opened the door.

‘Thank you,' he said. He looked weary, like he hadn't had much sleep.

Andie stood back to let him in and closed the door, turning around to face him.

‘I'm sorry,' he said, ‘I know it's early, but I had to come before work. And you won't answer my calls.'

She had turned off her phone when she got home yesterday; she hadn't purposely not answered his calls, she just hadn't wanted to deal with anyone last night.

Dominic started to pace the floor in front of her. ‘Look, I'm sorry about the way things happened yesterday, but it couldn't be helped.'

‘You don't think so?'

He stopped to look at her. ‘What are you saying?'

‘You promised me you wouldn't let anything that happened between us, outside of work, compromise my position at Viande.'

‘And I haven't. But can you say the same thing, Andie?'

She sighed heavily. ‘I don't know, maybe not.' She perched on the arm of the sofa. ‘But just tell me something, Dominic, if you didn't know what was going on in my life, if I was just another member of staff, a hardworking member of staff in good standing, and I accidentally spoilt a batch of clarified butter, would you have fired me then?'

‘I didn't fire you, Andie,' he insisted. ‘Your job is safe.'

‘For now,' she muttered. ‘Let me put it another way. Would you have treated another staff member the same, effectively suspending them?'

‘I think you're being unfair,' said Dominic, ‘and I think you are expecting different treatment, Andie. A member of staff who kept leaving the floor to make calls and was distracted to the point of ruining food and wasting everyone's time, might well get the sack, depending on the situation. I'd hear them out, and if the problem was reasonable, they might be given another chance, but I don't know how many would actually be granted a few days off to sort out their personal lives.'

Andie gazed up at him sadly. ‘You think a few days is going to do it, Dominic?'

‘What do you mean?' he frowned.

‘In case you hadn't noticed, my life is kind of out of control at the moment. I might get the immediate problems sorted in a couple of days, but it's not going to end there.' She paused. ‘The truth is, I have baggage, I have an ex-husband. I may not love him any more, but I still have a responsibility to him, and more importantly, I have a responsibility to his children, who I do love, very much.'

Dominic was listening, staring down at the carpet. ‘Are you sure you don't love him any more?' he asked after a while.

‘Quite sure.'

He sighed. ‘Well, I wish I could be so sure of that.' He started to pace again. ‘All that talk about feeling guilty and responsible the other night, about how maybe you should have taken him back —'

‘That's not what I was saying, Dominic.'

He looked at her. ‘You know, I tried to ignore what I was feeling for you for a very long time,' he said. ‘I knew your marriage had just broken up, and that you'd be on the rebound, and I knew I shouldn't risk it. It appears as though I was right.'

Andie felt a cramp in her chest. ‘Does that make you feel better?' she said ruefully.

He frowned. ‘No. How can you say that? You think I'm happy you'd choose him over me?'

‘I'm not choosing him,' she insisted. ‘I don't want to be with Ross.'

‘I don't think you know what you want,' he said squarely.

‘And what do you want from me, Dominic?'

‘I know I don't want this . . . this uncertainty.'

She nodded. ‘You want everything under control and predictable. And I can't give you that right now.' She paused, she could feel tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. ‘This isn't working, Dominic, and I don't see how it can work.' Her voice caught in her throat and she swallowed. ‘You're absolutely right, you shouldn't have risked it with me, it's too soon, I had the same concerns myself. There are too many loose ends, and if you can't deal with them, if it's all too messy for you, then you are better off without me.'

He looked at her for a long time, she could see the hurt in his eyes. ‘Okay, if that's the way you want it, I won't bother you any more.' He crossed to the door. ‘Good luck, Andie.'