The Secret Ingredient (37 page)

‘And then?'

‘I finally faced the truth that she was never going to change, and things were never going to be different.' He paused. ‘One time she hadn't been home for a week or so, I gave notice at work, and on the flat, packed up her things and left them with a friend of hers, and then I went as far away as I could get, so that she couldn't find me.'

‘Where did you go?'

‘Europe,' he said. ‘I stayed away the best part of a decade. I had to support myself, so I worked in restaurants right across the continent. Plied my trade.'

‘Were you able to mend things with your parents?'

‘With my mother,' he nodded. ‘Not that she'd ever given up on me. I think mothers will forgive their sons almost anything.'

‘Did you ever see Justine again?'

He shook his head, he looked a little wistful. ‘I tried to find her after I returned to Australia. We really needed to finalise things, get a divorce, but I wanted to make sure she was all right. I was in the position by then to help her out, if she needed anything. I felt I owed her that much.' He paused. ‘Someone told me she died, fell off the back of a motorbike, drunk. I had a solicitor look into it for me, sadly it was true.' He became thoughtful. ‘Sometimes I think people like Justine are destined to die young.' He took another drink, then seemed to snap himself out of it. ‘So there you have it, my deep dark past.'

No wonder he'd been scared off relationships. But now he was taking a chance on her. Andie was caught between worrying what expectations he had of her, and wanting to fulfil every one of them.

‘And,' he said suddenly, getting to his feet, ‘your glass is empty.'

He walked over to the fridge and Andie picked up their plates and came around the bench at the opposite end.

‘More wine?' he asked.

‘Oh . . . I don't know,' she said, setting the plates down in the sink. ‘I should keep an eye on the time, we both have to work tomorrow.'

He closed the fridge door. ‘Andie, it isn't even eight o'clock,' he said, walking towards her. ‘Have I frightened you away?'

‘No, no, of course not,' she said.

‘Then what's the matter?' he asked gently, standing right in front of her.

‘Nothing, nothing's the matter, really.'

He lifted her chin so she had to look at him. ‘Now I feel like I shouldn't have told you any of that.'

‘No,' she assured him. ‘I don't think worse of you. Why would I? You were loyal and decent. You're a good person, Dominic.'

He grimaced faintly. ‘That doesn't sound very promising.'

Andie laughed lightly, taking his hand between both of hers. ‘Elliot did say something else.'

‘Bloody Elliot strikes again.'

‘Don't be cross with him,' she said. ‘He just said it was unusual that you were seeing someone.'

‘I told you that myself, that it had been a long time.'

‘Since Justine?'

‘Good heavens no, I'm not a monk,' he said. ‘There have been women over the years, just no one serious, or long term. I haven't felt . . . I haven't felt anything, for anyone, for a very long time. Until now.'

Andie took a deep breath. ‘Then I guess I'm feeling the weight of expectation.'

‘Andie,' he sighed, ‘I don't expect anything of you. I just like you . . . I like you so much. I like being around you.'

‘I like being around you too, Dominic, I really do.'

‘But?'

She thought about how to put it. ‘I've just come out of a marriage, and I lost myself for a long time. I don't want to get swallowed up in something else right away.'

‘I understand.' He looped his arms around her waist, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. ‘May I make a suggestion?'

Andie looked up at him, waiting.

‘Why don't we just relax and enjoy ourselves, allow things to run their own course. And I promise I won't expect any more than that. Does that work for you?'

She smiled. ‘Yes, that works.'

He brought his lips to hers and they kissed. It was slow and gentle at first, but it soon became more urgent. They weren't standing in the doorway of the shop now, there was nothing to stop them taking this further. And Andie was ready, she was so ready. She felt his hands on the bare skin of her waist, under the flimsy fabric of her top.

‘Andie . . .' he murmured, his lips barely leaving hers. ‘I have a very comfortable bed, just up the stairs. Would it be presumptuous of me to suggest . . .'

She smiled. Always the polite Englishman. ‘Lead the way.'

He took her by the hand, and Andie followed him back up the hall, and up the stairs, and into his bedroom. It was all white walls in here as well, but the lighting was mercifully more subdued. He turned to face her, and they stood, looking at each other, a little tentatively.

‘We seem to have lost momentum,' he said.

Andie smiled, stepping closer and circling her arms around him. ‘I'm sure we can find it again.'

Dominic reached for the clip holding her hair up and released it, then he raked his fingers through her hair to shake it free.

‘I love your hair. I never get to see it, it's always tucked up under your cap.' He was gazing down at her, his expression tender, even a little soulful.

‘What is it?' she asked.

‘Nothing . . . I'm just glad you're here.'

‘Me too.'

His mouth covered hers again, his fingers grazing her skin as he slipped her cardigan down over her shoulders. Andie dropped her arms to her side, allowing it to fall to the floor, while Dominic held her close, cradling the back of her head in one hand as he kissed her, and pressing into the small of her back with his other hand so her pelvis jutted up against his. Andie felt light-headed, her skin prickled all over as his lips moved down her throat, across her shoulders, sliding the fine straps out the way. Oh, they had quite clearly found their momentum again. She reached up to unbutton his shirt, opening it up and smoothing her hands over the bare skin of his chest. He shuddered under her touch, lifting the scrap of fabric that was her top easily over her head, and tossing it aside. His breathing was ragged as he stared at her, a little stunned. She reached for his hand and brought it to her breast.

‘Andie,' he said thickly, pulling her close again and kissing her hard. He eased her down onto the bed, pushing his knee between hers. Andie felt a longing for him that was almost agonising, arching herself towards him, but he was not going to be rushed. He ran his hand slowly down her torso, his mouth following the trail, until his fingers slipped under her waistband. She could feel his tongue sliding across the skin of her belly as he worked on the button of her jeans . . .

Andie grabbed his shoulders. ‘Wait!'

Dominic lifted his head to look at her. ‘What is it?'

She swallowed. ‘I haven't been tested.'

‘Pardon?'

‘I haven't been with anyone since Ross,' she stammered, ‘but he's been with her, so . . .'

Dominic looked faintly confused, as he brought himself back up beside her. ‘Are you having problems of some kind?'

‘Oh, no, I'm fine.' She sighed. ‘I just . . . you know, I should have been better prepared. Once I started dating again, I should have had a check-up, tests, it's what a responsible person would do.'

He stroked her hair. ‘Andie, it's okay, I have protection.'

‘So do I.'

He smiled. ‘So you were at least a little prepared?' he murmured, his lips close to hers again.

She could only manage a squeak from somewhere in her throat in response, as her mouth opened against his and they kissed again, now more frantically, their tongues entwining, hands caressing as they freed each other from the last of their clothes, and there was nothing but skin against skin, limbs locking, bodies writhing . . . and finally, Andie felt him thrust up inside her, filling her, quenching the ache, over and over. She arched back with a soft cry, pulling him close to her. They seemed to drift into slow motion, rocking in unison, her legs wrapped around him, drawing his body further up into hers, till they were fused, climaxing together, and then falling again, gently, stroking, kissing, replete.

Dominic eventually shifted onto his side, bringing her with him.

‘Oh my God,' he breathed.

She stifled a giggle into his neck.

‘That was worth waiting for,' he said in a low voice.

‘Yes, it was.' Andie felt somehow free, free of the last vestiges of Ross's hold on her life. She was her own person. She had just made love to a good man, a wonderful man. Someone who was going to give her the time she needed. Who wasn't going to expect more of her than this, right now, lying together in each other's arms, content.

Dominic drew back to look at her. ‘There's something I want to say, and you have to let me say it.'

Andie gazed up at him. ‘What?'

‘You really are very beautiful, Andie.'

She smiled.

‘I wanted to say it before, but I know you don't like it. But you have to let me say it, in this context.'

‘In this context, you're allowed to say it.'

He sighed deeply, bringing his hand up to smooth her hair away from her face and stroke her cheek. ‘I'm so glad this has finally happened. I've been imagining it since the first time we met.'

She blinked. ‘Really?'

‘No, sorry, not the first time. Since the time you came in asking for another chance.'

‘But you were so ominous. You really made me work for it.'

‘That's because you made me literally go weak at the knees,' he said. ‘I was only trying to resist you. You think I wanted that kind of distraction in my kitchen?'

‘So why did you say yes?'

He gazed down at her. ‘Because I couldn't say no.'

‘Rossie, I'm bored, why can't we go out?' Tasha pouted.

‘Because I told you, I'm tired, Tash,' said Ross. ‘And it's a Monday night. Who goes out on a Monday night?' He checked his watch. ‘At ten o'clock?'

‘People under thirty,' she muttered.

‘What did you say?'

‘Nothing.'

Life with Ross was not working out quite the way Tasha had pictured. She thought that moving into his apartment would be a step up, that they would finally be a couple, that she would accompany him to his business dinners, cocktail parties, big glitzy corporate bashes. She thought he'd want to show off his much younger partner, that he'd be proud of her. He insisted that he was, but he'd ‘been there, done that' with the whole social scene and he found it a crashing bore most of the time. He'd rather cuddle up at home with her.

Excitement city.

It was all very well to have an adoring man, but Ross was an adoring
older
man, and he was so stuck in his ways. He used to say he loved her energy and her vitality, that it made him feel young. Well, you'd never know it. Lately he was always tired, going to bed early, complaining about random aches and pains, like Tasha really needed, or wanted, to know. Next thing he'd be asking her to fill his hot water bottle for him. Ugh.

She had finally had to give him an ultimatum and insist on moving in here, especially after the ex had taken him to court. Well, not literally; Tasha didn't get how it worked, the lawyers handled the whole thing apparently. It seemed weird to her that you could divorce someone without even facing up to them in court, all those American legal shows must make it up just for the drama. Ross wouldn't talk to her about the settlement, he said it was none of her concern. When she baulked at that, he said he meant he didn't want to concern her. Was there something to be concerned about? she'd asked him then. He'd assured her there wasn't, that Andie had actually settled for less than she was entitled to. Hm, Tasha found that hard to believe. Did Ross even know what her father's estate was worth? No, he didn't, and it was none of his business, he said. Yeah, well, no wonder she slipped away so quietly. Tasha was sure that if things were split down the middle, Ross may well have got himself a piece of that inheritance, and she told him so.

But he had just closed his eyes and given his head a shake. Tasha hated when he did that, like she was a naughty child.

She picked up the remote and turned on the TV.

‘Oh good,' said Ross, ‘we can catch the last half of
Q&A
.'

Tasha pulled a face. ‘Ah, I don't think so, Ross. You don't get to call the shots on everything.' She flicked the channel and plonked herself onto the chesterfield. God, she hated the thing, it was like sitting on a padded brick, but when she'd suggested getting rid of it to Ross, he'd nearly had a heart attack. He said he'd waited all his life to get a chesterfield, Tasha said he ought to dream bigger. It was a couch. But not just any couch, he'd insisted. Then he'd carried on about the kid leather and the studding done by hand, and the waiting list he had to go on, and how much it cost and that it was an investment, till Tasha was bored shitless. She asked him what she
could
change or get rid of in the apartment. He told her there was no reason to throw out perfectly good furniture. She was welcome to put her personal things around – photos and knick-knacks and the like – she could even buy some new cushions if she wanted, but he'd prefer not to go to unnecessary expense right now.

‘What about the bed? Can we move my bed over at least, to replace yours?'

He had winced slightly. ‘My bed's a lot more comfortable than yours, it's much better quality . . .'

‘It's your marriage bed!' she cried.

‘That didn't seem to bother you the night you seduced me in it.'

That hadn't ended well. They slept in their own beds for the next couple of nights, until Ross had shown up on her doorstep with flowers and expensive champagne, and a proposal that they buy a whole new bed, which would be their bed. He always knew how to get back into her good books.

Her show was coming on after the ads.

‘What's this?' said Ross, frowning at the screen.

‘
The Kardashians
.'

He groaned as he got up from his armchair. ‘I'm going to bed.'

‘Don't forget we've got gym in the morning,' she called after him.

Andie blinked a few times. She could feel the sun warm on her face, and she could feel Dominic's body warm against her back, and she could feel his lips, warm on her shoulder, leaving a trail of soft kisses. This was a very nice way to wake up.

‘What time is it?' she asked sleepily.

‘Time to get up,' he murmured. ‘We have to get ready for work, you have a big day ahead of you.'

She frowned for a moment, until she realised what he was referring to. She shifted around to face him. ‘We have to talk about that.'

‘There's nothing to talk about.'

‘You have to tell Cosmo I can't move up right now.'

‘I don't have to do any such thing,' he insisted.

‘Dominic, look at me! I'm in your bed. Naked. I am naked in your bed. I simply cannot be seen to be getting an advantage.'

‘But no one can see you.'

‘Dominic!'

He sighed heavily, propping his head up with his hand. ‘Andie, this really has to stop. I didn't whisper in anyone's ear, I didn't single you out, I didn't make the recommendation. Cosmo came to me, Tang agreed, it's time for you to move up, whether you happen to grace my bed naked or not. Now can that be the end of it, once and for all?'

Andie suppressed a smile. ‘You don't have to be so bossy,' she muttered.

‘Well, now you're just being insubordinate,' he said, shifting so that he was above her. ‘You may have to be disciplined.'

Andie giggled as he buried his face into her neck. ‘Don't we have to get ready for work?'

‘We have time,' he murmured in her ear. ‘Besides, you're with the boss, doesn't matter if you're late.'

‘Dominic —' But he covered her mouth with his own, and before long Andie forgot about work, forgot about anything but the feel of his body against hers. There was already an easy synchronicity between them that Andie hadn't expected. They fitted somehow. Last night was wonderful. They had come downstairs in the middle of the night, and Dominic had made her the most divine pancakes. He already had strawberries marinating, he'd planned to serve them for dessert with mascarpone cream, but by then they needed something more substantial. They fed each other pancakes and strawberries between long, languid kisses, until they couldn't hold back any longer, and they returned upstairs to make love once more, finally falling asleep in each other's arms, completely spent.

And now, again . . . Dominic was obviously making up for lost time, and Andie wasn't about to complain. She should have felt tired, but instead she felt energised.

Afterwards he was lying tucked into her side, his head resting against her breasts. She wondered if he was falling asleep. She stroked his hair. ‘Dominic?'

‘Hm.'

‘I will have to get going, I'll have to call by my place to change my clothes.'

‘There's plenty of time,' he said, lifting himself up to look down at her. ‘I woke you early. Do you want to have a shower here?'

‘No, I might as well shower at home, I have to change anyway.'

‘All right, well, I'll go and start breakfast.' He kissed her lightly on the lips before he got out of bed to get dressed.

‘Don't worry about breakfast, Dominic, you have to get ready for work yourself.'

‘I can do that after you leave, but we both have to eat.'

‘Thank you,' she called as he walked out of the room, pulling a T-shirt over his head.

She could get used to this. Although she loved to cook herself, it was quite a novelty to have a man cook for her – a three-hatted chef, no less. She really hoped everything was going to be all right at work, she wanted to stay at Viande, and she had to admit, she wanted to work with Dominic, or at least close by. And she was excited to be moving up, if not for this development she would have been champing at the bit for the challenge. But Dominic was right, she was ready, and she had earned it. So she was just going to have to work harder than ever, and leave no room for anyone to doubt that.

But now she really had to get up. She automatically reached over to the bedside table to feel for her phone to check the time. But of course it wasn't there, it was still in her handbag downstairs. She got out of bed and dressed in her clothes from last night – it was a long time since she'd had to do the walk of shame the morning after. Not that she could say she felt any shame. After all her misgivings yesterday, her nerves, the frayed remnants of Catholic guilt, this morning Andie felt free and lighter somehow – like she'd cast off old baggage for good. And she felt no pressure, just a pure kind of happiness that was exhilarating.

She almost skipped down the stairs and down the hall into the kitchen. Dominic was whisking eggs in a bowl and Andie walked straight up to him.

‘Here you are. Thought I'd do scrambled eggs, they're —'

She cut him off with a kiss, circling her arms around his neck.

‘What was that for?' he asked when she pulled back. He was still holding the bowl and the whisk.

She shrugged, smiling. ‘For everything.'

There was such a rush of tenderness in his eyes that Andie just wanted to hug him. So she did. Dominic put down the bowl and folded his arms around her, and they stood, holding each other tight, just hugging. It was possibly the most intimate moment they'd shared yet.

‘Much as I could stay like this all day,' Dominic said, pulling back after a while, ‘we really do have to get a move on.'

She smiled, planting a kiss on his lips. ‘Did you see where I left my handbag?'

‘I think it's over on one of the dining chairs.'

‘Ah.' She walked across and picked up her bag, setting it down on the table as she felt for her phone. ‘That's odd,' she said when she checked the screen.

‘What is?' Dominic asked.

‘Ross's daughter has tried to call a few times this morning,' she said.

‘Already?'

‘I know, that's what's odd. She's still on holidays from uni, she wouldn't usually be up this early.' Andie felt an uncomfortable niggle, she hoped nothing was wrong. She looked over at Dominic. ‘Do you mind if I call her back?'

‘No, of course not.'

Andie pressed
Call
and waited until the phone rang out. ‘Damn, she's not answering,' she said, hanging up.

‘Why didn't you leave a message?' Dominic asked, passing her a glass of freshly squeezed juice.

‘Thanks,' said Andie. ‘Brooke doesn't have voicemail, none of the kids do any more, they think it's old hat.'

He shook his head. ‘Young people today . . .'

She was typing a text message when the phone started to ring. It was Brooke.

‘Hi,' said Andie. ‘I just tried to call you.'

‘Yeah, I saw, I had my phone on silent. I had to come outside to make the call – Mum gets mad if I use my phone inside the hospital.'

‘What are you doing at the hospital?'

Dominic looked up.

‘You haven't heard anything yet?' said Brooke.

‘No,' Andie said. This was starting to worry her.

‘That bitch,' she muttered. ‘Sorry, Andie, but I thought it was weird you hadn't turned up, that's why I called you.'

‘Brooke, what are you talking about?' she said urgently. ‘Why are you at the hospital?'

‘It's Dad, Andie,' she said. ‘He had a heart attack.'

Andie couldn't catch her breath, it was like all the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room. ‘Is he all right? Is he . . .?'

‘They're just trying to stabilise him for now, but they think he's going to need surgery.'

‘Oh my God, they have to do a bypass?'

‘No, they said something about implanting some kind of device to stop his heart from racing.'

‘A pacemaker?'

‘I don't know what it's called, we really haven't been told much yet.'

‘Where are you, Brooke? Which hospital?'

‘St Luke's.'

At least that was close. ‘Okay, I'll get there as fast as I can.'

‘Great, see you soon.'

Andie hung up the phone.

‘What's going on?' asked Dominic, coming around the bench to her.

‘It's Ross, my ex,' she said, her voice wavering. ‘He had a heart attack, but it doesn't sound like a regular heart attack. I don't really understand, his heart was racing or something,' she said. ‘And apparently they're going to have to implant some kind of device.'

Dominic was nodding. ‘An uncle of mine had that. Arrhythmia, I think it's called.'

‘Did he have the thing implanted?' Andie asked.

‘Yes, he did, as a matter of fact.'

‘How did it go?'

‘Well, he's dead now —'

That was it, the banks burst and Andie started to sob uncontrollably.

‘Andie . . . Andie,' Dominic held her by the shoulders and tried to get her attention above the sobs. ‘Andie, listen to me, you didn't let me finish. He died years later, it was a long time ago now.' He brought his arms around her and held her close, and she started to calm down.

‘I'm sorry,' she said. ‘It's just a shock.'

‘Of course it is,' said Dominic. ‘So where is he? Which hospital?'

‘St Luke's.'

‘Do you want me to take you there?'

‘No, you have to go to work . . . What am I saying? I have to go to work.'

‘Don't worry about it.'

She looked up at him. ‘You can't give me special treatment, Dominic.'

‘Andie, this is a family emergency,' he said. ‘I'm not giving you special treatment, I wouldn't expect anyone to turn up at work under these circumstances.'

‘Okay,' she relented. ‘Then I might just be a bit late, I'll come as soon I find out what's going on.'

‘Andie,' he said, taking her hands in his. ‘Don't worry about work. You're upset, you need to get to the hospital and find out what's happening. One thing at a time, okay?'

‘Okay.'

‘I can drop you off on the way.'

She took a deep breath. ‘No, I better drive myself, then I'll have my car, whatever I decide to do.'

‘Are you sure?'

She nodded. ‘I'm sure.'

‘I can make those eggs up quickly, if you like?'

‘No, thanks, I don't think I could eat now anyway.'

‘All right, well, finish your juice at least,' he said, passing her the glass. ‘It'll bring up your blood sugar.'

Andie gave him a grateful smile, and drank the rest of the juice. She glanced down at herself. ‘Oh God, I can't go looking like this to the hospital. I must have left my cardigan upstairs. I better find it.' She bolted up the stairs and looked frantically around the room, spotting it on the floor halfway under the bed, along with her hairclip. She grabbed them both and gave the cardigan a shake, pulled the flimsy top up over her head and slipped on the cardigan, buttoning it all the way as she stood in front of the mirror. That would have to do. She twisted her hair and caught it up with the clip. When she hurried back down the stairs, Dominic was waiting at the front door.

‘Does this look all right?' she said, pushing up the sleeves. She hoped she wouldn't get too hot, but it would be air-conditioned at the hospital.

‘You look fine,' he said, touching her cheek. ‘Maybe a little flushed. You need to slow down, take a breath.'

She did as he suggested. ‘I'm sorry about this, Dominic.'

‘You don't have to apologise.'

‘Still . . .' She took a step closer. ‘I just want you to know I had a wonderful time last night.'

He smiled down at her. ‘I did too,' he said, kissing her gently on the lips. ‘Call me when you know what's happening?'

‘I will.'

‘Drive safe.'

Andie did her best to stay calm, but as the traffic snarled and knotted the closer she got to the hospital, she could feel her anxiety building. She finally parked several floors up in the parking station and made her way back out to the main entrance of the hospital. She hurried through the doors, and was immediately confronted by a barrage of signage that only served to confuse her. It was quicker to ask someone.