The Science of Loving (7 page)

Very cool. I was surrounded by super brains. A smarter man would probably find this intimidating. I reached around and shook hands, maintaining a tight hold on Angie. I had a feeling she was ready to bolt at the first opportunity. Putting my chin back on her head, I noticed the party was winding down. Thank God. I was looking forward to checking out those stockings, hopefully with her heels digging into my back.

Leslie sauntered over. “What’re guys talking about?”

“We’re thinking of going over to Suds for a few,” Steve said.
What? No, no, noooo… Angie and me… alone and sweaty.

“Cool, count me in.” She looked around raising her voice. “Hey anybody else want to go to Suds?”

“Is Mat going?” somebody asked.

“Of course,” Leslie said, leaning up against me, batting her eyes. It was a good thing she made Angie laugh, because right now I wanted to throttle her.

CHAPTER THREE

Old Engine Oil and Blowjobs

Mat was quietly assessing me while Steve and Les bickered in the backseat over the relative coolness of Kirk and Picard. He covered my hand resting on the gearshift when I stopped for a red light, and I wondered what had just crossed his mind as his eyes darkened.

“Come on, Kirk always got the girl.” Steve insisted.

“Yeah, ‘cause he was a man-whore.” Les snorted. “He’d do anyone, even that green chick.”

“That green chick was hot.”

“It’s a wonder his dick didn’t rot off from a raging case of intergalactic clap. Besides, Picard’s bald,” she sighed, looking over at Mat. I smiled, catching Steve’s eye roll when I looked over my shoulder as I backed into a spot along the curb.

“Wait for me,” Mat murmured as I set the parking brake. He unfolded himself from the car flipping the seat forward, then came around to usher me to the sidewalk like royalty. “Promise me you’ll never introduce Leslie to Danny. I don’t think the world as we know it would survive.”

I must’ve had a bout of temporary insanity, but for some reason I just had to poke the bear. “That’s a great idea,” I said, pulling out my phone. “Let’s call her.”

“Oh, hell no.” Laughing while he pinned me with one arm, he wrestled my phone away then pocketed it smugly. “Apocalypse averted.” I glared at him, but he knew I wasn’t serious. “Just think how much fun you’ll have fishing it out later. I know I am.” I automatically glanced at the front of his pants, flushing bright red when the sparkle in his eyes said he’d caught me looking.

He pushed through a door into a warmly lit room. On the right, an oak bar ran the length of the room. As he led us deeper inside, I huddled behind him peering at a long line of brightly colored, exotically shaped taps behind it. I noticed a goose head, a whale, a hawk—
was that a pig
—a canoe, an old style telephone, trout and woodpecker—

“Hey Mat. I missed ya last night.” A curvy, heavily made-up, blond, leaned over the bar, her girls barely contained by the push-up bra peeking above of her straining white tee.

“Yeah, I met this hot chick doing blowjobs at my sister’s and I just couldn’t pull out— I mean, tear myself away,” he said, giving me a heated look. When I glanced over my shoulder, Les mouthed ‘Blowjobs?’ with raised eyebrows.

“Oh shit, did I say that out loud?” He grinned at her, enjoying my discomfort. “Shelly, can we put a few tables together? There maybe a group coming.”

“No problem,” she said, making her way around the bar.

“Naw, that’s all right,” Mat said, stalling her. “We got this.” He nodded Steve to the other side of a table, and together, they slid it against its neighbor while Les and I arranged the chairs.

“Blowjobs? Do tell,” Les whispered. She was having way too much fun.

“He’s referring to a cocktail.”

“Uh huh, so were you the provider or the recipient of said
cock-tail
?” Les snickered, hitting the consonants a little harder than necessary then sauntered around the table to sit across from me and gaze adoringly at Mat. When Steve flopped down next to her, he had a disturbingly similar look on his face.

Mat slid closer. Our knees touched and I felt warmth radiating from him then a heavy hand unexpectedly landed in my lap, sliding under my hem just above my knees. “They seem to know you here.”

“Yeah, since it’s walking distance from my loft, I come here a lot.” He curled his fingers around my leg, causing my dress to ride up further, and brushed his thumb lightly over my stockings. “And my gym’s around the corner, so I usually stop in after working out.”

When he inched his hand even higher, heat creeped up my thigh along with his fingers. I shifted in my seat, pressing my thighs firmly closed, dithering over what to do. Fear and anticipation made my heart race and my lady bits tingle as my inner skank just wanted him to stop messing around and get to the good stuff… I blamed Danny for waking the brainless slut.

Angie just about flew out of her seat when I slipped my hand over her knee, but I just had to find out if her stockings were as smooth as they looked
—nice
—I nestled my hand between her knees, stroking their silky slickness with my thumb, watching her skin take on a lovely rosy glow.

“—and my gym’s around the corner, so I usually stop in after a working out.” I continued my explanation, watching her become more and more flustered. Her breath caught, and she subtly pressed her thighs together when I adjusted my grip slightly upwards—
oh sweetness, you really think that’s gonna stop me—
I inched my hand up a little higher, just to see what she'd do. I was so focused on her, I didn't notice the others arrive until Bob pulled a chair out for her mother
—motherfucker—
then settle beside Angie. Recalling the almost predatory look he gave me at the party, I eased back, pulling Angie’s chair closer. Looking around the table, I realized, other than Angie’s three friends, Bob and her mom, the rest were all climbers.

This should be interesting
—making her way around the table, Shelly had just handed a menu to Stephanie. For a beer to make it onto the Suds’ menu, it had to not only be tasty, but also have an unusual name—extra points were given for vulgarity. Shelly’s hand descended onto my shoulder, and I jerked away when her fake tits got in the way as she leaned in to lay my menu on the table.
Shit, she needs to back the fuck off.

Although Angie’s eyes were on the menu, I knew she wasn't reading it. Casually I reached over, turning it right side up. My lips twitched as her cheeks reddened even more.

“Oh, my God, some of these names—”

“What, you don’t want a ‘Pig’s Ass?’”

“Was that the pig tap I saw behind the bar?”

“Yeah, it’s an English porter. What kind of beer do you normally drink?”

“My dad got me hooked on Guinness. It’s become part our New Year’s ritual. We start the day with an English breakfast. You know: Bangers and eggs, beans and toast, tomatoes on the side. And wash it all down with a nice dark Guinness.”

“If you’ll you trust me to order for you sweetheart, I guarantee not to disappoint. If I do, you can punish me by doing rude things to my body.”

I hoped that blush meant that a rude thought had just crossed her mind while I listened as everyone ordered. Bob played it safe, ordering an ‘Arrogant Bastard.’ Stephanie ordered white wine, totally missing the point of coming to a place like this. Ben gleefully ordered a ‘Hoptimus Prime’—geek—a grinning Steve wanted the ‘Vergina Red,’ an Australian beer, while most everyone else ordered mainstream ales they could get anywhere. I couldn't wait to hear Leslie’s choice.

“I’ll have the ‘Laughing Dog Critch Sniffing Bastard,’” she announced loudly. “What? If there’s critch sniffing to be had, you better believe I’m getting mine.”

I’m never playing poker with Bob.
He didn’t even blink. A couple of the others tried to follow his lead, but couldn’t quite hide their smirks. Ben was grinning outright, and I think a smile permanently resided on Steve’s face, the goof. I was laughing so hard, I might’ve been accused of crying if I weren’t so manly, but best of all was Angie’s giggle. After I’d finally wound down enough to speak, I ordered myself the ‘Panty Peeler,’ and for Angie, ‘The Old Engine Oil Black Ale’ and a Blowjob then glanced up to find Stephanie trying to neuter me with her eyes. So I returned her look, and raised her one eyebrow. I grinned when she looked away annoyed. I could play this game all day, and I was better at it.

“Ooh, I want one too. Can I have a Blowjob?” Leslie looked up at me, fluttering her eyelashes. It would’ve been scary if I wasn’t pretty sure she was fucking with me.

“Red dresses and blowjobs darling? Is there something you’re not telling me?”
What the hell!

Angie paled and the table went silent. Then she flushed, shocked tears gathering in her eyes. Even Bob seemed taken aback. Why would Stephanie say something like that? It had to be more than losing that little pissing contest just now.
Oh, hell no. There was no letting this go.

“Stephanie, you’re a real piece of work, you know that? Is Angie adopted? Because frankly, I’m not feeling the love. And, although I’d really like to call you on all your poor behavior, that would hurt Angie, and that’s not something I’ll do.” I didn't raise my voice. I didn't need to. The tension was palpable as everyone looked from me to Stephanie, waiting. I stood. Leaning forward with my hands flat on the table, I watched her go pale as I got right in her face with murder in my eyes. “I. Want. You. Gone.” I sat back down. She jumped when I slammed my fist on the table. “Now!”

Stephanie and I continued staring at each other while Shelly delivered our drinks. Reddening, she took a sip of her wine then carefully set it back on the table and silently gathered up her handbag. Ben, Steve and I were the only men who remain seated when Bob helped her with her chair. He looked pained as she stalked from the room while the others fidgeted nervously, not knowing whether to stay or follow.

“I’m so very sorry.” Angie apologized to the table.

Bob’s expression hardened. He sat back down with a sigh and the others followed, picking up their drinks. “Think nothing of it. Mat’s right. She crossed the line.” With a rueful grin, he added. “And at the risk of a law suit, might I say, that red is definitely your color.”

“Ladies,” I said, handing the girls their shots.

“What?” Leslie said, looking around the table after she swept away the last of the tension by moaning loudly knocking back her shot with over-the-top lip smacking hilarity. I was really starting to like this chick.

“I want to do that.” I growled when Angie went to lick the sugary residue left on her lips; laving it away then nipping her gently. I was just considering going in for another bite when I felt something poke my arm.

“Ow! Shit, you broke my finger.” Leslie accused with a wounded look, wiggling her fingers. “What do you have under that shirt, granite?”

I grinned. “That’s right baby, carved and rock hard.”

“And no brothers?” I shook my head taking a drink. “So what’s your sister like? She’s hot, right?” I choked as beer almost came out of my nose
—my God, she’s like Danny’s geeky, evil twin
—Angie’s eyes danced. Even Bob almost smiled with what might have been a hint of awe or possibly fear on his face.

“You know,” Leslie continued without missing a beat. “You don’t look like an architect.”

“Architects have a look?”
This should be good
.

She nodded seriously. “Yeah, like attorneys, only edgier.”

“And by edgier, you mean?” I raised my eyebrows, fighting a smile, waiting for the punchline.

“Slightly less metro-sexual, you know, unkempt? Poorly groomed?”

“So not bathing is the new edgy?”

“No, not bathing is gross. Sheesh.” She gave Angie a sympathetic is-he-always-this-slow eye-roll that made her smile before returning to me. “Cheap haircuts, messy cuticles, bad shoes—Edgier.”

“So, I’m not edgy enough?”
Well that was a first
.

“No, you’re way edgy, you’ve got this dangerous bad boy, don’t mess with me or I’ll fuck you up edginess. If you were any edgier, we’d all be bleeding. It’s like architects are edgy-lite, while you’re industrial-strength concentrate, eat-a-hole in my panties edgy.” She started fanning herself dramatically.