The Scandalous Love of a Duke (23 page)

She heard him sigh and then he left the room, his boot heels striking the floorboards in the hall, growing more distant. Her heart beat in time with his steps.

She heard the front door open and Castle say, “Your Grace.” It closed.

John was gone.

Katherine collapsed into a chair and wept, with her hands covering her face and her heart pouring pain into her blood. She ached everywhere for him. It was in every muscle and bone in her body, in her lips, in her eyes and in her hands.

Richard arrived barely a quarter-hour later.

By then she had composed herself, and she stood to go and greet him as she always did. Yet she could not deceive nor use him anymore – nor deceive herself. She could never let Richard touch her in a marriage bed. She could not marry him. She still loved John.

Her father was in the hall, challenging Castle, having clearly realised it was not Richard who’d called previously. “Why did the Duke of Pembroke pay his call?”

“What is it?” Richard was beside her in a moment and his arm was about her.

He guided her back into the parlour. “Katherine, what has happened?”

She hugged him briefly, he had been her defender and her sanctuary for the last two years. What was she going to do without him?

When she let him go, his fingers brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

He did not deserve what she was going to do to him.

“Shut the door,” she whispered, meeting his gaze.

“Katherine?”

It was improper but they were due to be married in two days.

“Ask Castle to send for tea if you wish some, and then close the door. I need to speak to you.”

“What did Pembroke have to say? He upset you?” Richard didn’t move. “Tell me?” he whispered, his fingers gently grasping hers.

The gesture only reminded her that moments before John had held her hand.

Tears spilled over again.

“Tell me.”

She had to. She had to be honest with him. “I cannot marry you. I still love him.” Anger flashed in his eyes and she felt deceitful and false, as though she’d tricked him.

He did not let go of her hand. “I suppose he came to buy you back. What has he promised you? Do not cheapen yourself, Katherine…”

“He asked me to be his wife.”

“
His wife?
”

“He begged me, Richard. But I cannot do it. He does not love me. He is just jealous of you. But, I’m sorry, he made me realise I cannot accept you either. You are a good man, and a good friend, but I love John…”

His gaze narrowed to a glare but, unlike John, Richard did not argue. He let go of her hands. “Very well, Katherine, as you wish.” If he argued, she would not change her mind. He probably simply knew her better than John. “I shall say goodbye then.” She nodded, not knowing what to say. She was hurting him as John had hurt her.

Why can I not love where it is sensible to love?
“I’m sorry,” she said again as he turned.

He looked back. “I understand how you feel for him; it is how I feel for you.” She was crushing this good, open-hearted man. She was as cruel as John. “I shall resign the parish today. I can no more stay now than we could have stayed together.” He turned again and left, and for the second time that morning she listened to a man’s angry footfalls in the hall.

Her legs felt unsteady as she went into the hall, longing for the safety of her room.

“
Whose?
” It was Phillip’s voice and it reached inside on a bellow as Castle held the door open.

Why did her brother have to arrive now? Oh, life was being malicious today.

She heard Richard speaking in a low bitter tone, but not his words. Then she heard Phillip shout once more. “How long have you known this?”

Oh no! No!

Her father was still standing beside the door. He looked at her with accusation in his eyes.

No!

Phillip came through the door as she moved forward. He was angry. His fingers were gripped in fists. “He says you are with child.
Are you?
”

She didn’t answer. She couldn’t breathe.

Phillip glared, and behind him their father had flushed red with anger. “Well of course you are. Why would a vicar lie?”

She couldn’t find any words.

“It is Pembroke’s?” her father accused. There was a vicious sadness in his voice. He glanced at Phillip. “I told you.”

Then her mother was in the hall too. “What has she done?”

“Is it him?” Phillip said, as though he did not already know.

“Is who, who?” her mother asked.

And now Jenny was behind their mother, looking into the hall.

“
Is it?
” Phillip shouted, as though he needed to hear Katherine admit it.

“Yes.” They knew anyway.

“I told you to stay away from him!” her father roared.

“God, Kate, he has been favouring me, is that the only reason?” Phillip breathed.

“What is true?” her mother cried.

“Katherine?” The last was from, Jenny.

“She is carrying John’s child.” Phillip’s voice was bitter as he looked at their mother.

“I’m sorry,” Katherine whispered, but they were ineffective words.

“The bastard,” Phillip said on his breath, and then he turned and walked back out the door. His anger seemed tamed, but it was not gone. Phillip flew up into the bows quickly and dropped just as fast, but he was up in the bows still and their mother knew it too.

“Phillip! Do nothing rash! Don’t challenge him. Katherine will be to blame. You will not risk yourself for
her
!”

Phillip stopped, turning his anger on their mother “For
her
? If you had cared for
her
a little more, perhaps she would not have turned to John.” Looking back at Katherine, he said, “Do not worry, I will sort this.” Then he was gone.

Panic rising, Katherine gripped her skirt and turned in the opposite direction. She would not see either Phillip or John hurt because of her.

Her mother’s accusation ringing in her ears, Katherine fled back into the parlour, and when she reached the French door, her fingers fumbled to free the lock.

“Katherine!” her father called from the hall.

She heard him coming as the lock clicked loose, and then she was gone.

She ran across the garden and through the back gate onto John’s land, with her skirt and petticoats clasped in her hands and held above her knees. She ran and ran, tearing across the deer-grazed grass, racing Phillip to Pembroke Place. He was in the curricle, but the route by road was much longer.

~

A noise came from downstairs, someone shouting. It was growing louder by the minute. “Where is that bastard? I know he’s here! Tell me!”

Phillip. This was John’s final justice. He’d have done no less for Mary.

“Where are you? You bastard!” The cry now came from the hall. “Is he upstairs? No! Get off me!” Some poor footman must have been thrown aside.

Why on earth had Katherine told?

But John was not going to hide from this. He went to the sitting room door and yelled into the hall. “Let him up!”

His hand shook as it swept through his hair.

God
. He had not yet dealt with the pain of her refusal. He’d felt battered and beaten to have bared his soul only to be turned away. Damn, how could he ever match up to her bloody perfect vicar? He was flawed and chipped and broken in half. How had he ever thought she would favour him over her saint? He’d shown her his worst side. Taken her to the folly and… He should not have done it. He’d been in her body for God’s sake…

Well, he would never be there again.

He waited silently in his private sitting room, listening to Phillip storm along the hall.

“You son of a bitch!” Phillip flew through the door on a whirlwind of anger and gripped John’s collar in one hand. The next John knew, he was on the floor and blood trickled from his nose and lip.

He moved to stand but Phillip kicked him down.

John lifted his hand to ward off another blow, but did not fight back. Sometimes they’d fought as children. John had always won.

“I trusted you!” Phillip yelled. “You were my friend! How could you do it to her?”

John moved to climb to his feet, but again Phillip’s heel struck his shoulder and knocked him back. He deserved Phillip’s anger.

“You took advantage of her! You bastard! You knew she was defenceless! I hope you rot in hell for what you’ve done!”

John said nothing, merely letting Phillip’s tirade run. What was there to say? It was true. He would be saying the same if Phillip had done this to Mary. The only thing John could not understand was why Katherine had told
?

“Phillip! Phillip!” John’s heart leapt in his chest as Katherine’s cries carried from below and then from further along the hall. “Phillip!”

She was running; her footsteps pounded on the hall rug.

Phillip turned and John rose.

“Phillip!” She burst into the room like sunrise breaking over the earth and her eyes spun to John. He felt a new hope bloom inside him, like a flower opening.

She looked at Phillip, panting hard as her eyes dropped to his clenched hands. “Stop it.” Her voice was accusing as her gaze lifted to her brother’s. She was struggling to catch her breath, and her bosom lifted and fell. She must have run all the way from her father’s house. Her fingers were pressed hard against her side as though she had the pain of a stitch there. “It was my fault, Phillip.”

“I don’t give a damn,” Phillip answered. “He bears the guilt. He knew what he was doing. You did not!” A hand was thrown in John’s direction.

Phillip was right.

“And violence will not solve this, no matter what. Leave him be, Phillip!”

Phillip’s hands were still fisted, and glancing back at John, he answered, “It does one thing, it makes me feel better.”

John raised both hands, palm outward. “I’m sorry. I’ve told her so. I was grieving. I was not thinking straight. So much had changed and—”

“That is no bloody excuse—” Phillip accused.

“It is not, I know. But it happened, Phillip, it happened and she has her vicar now.”

Phillip glared at John. “She has finished it with the vicar, she will not have him, but you are taking her. You are making this right. Do you understand, I don’t care what you are or who you are, you might be the bloody king and I’d make you have her!”

The only words of Phillip’s diatribe John heard was that she had refused the saint. His gaze flew to Katherine. She was pale and still panting, and sweat had made her hair cling to her face.

Her eyes met his. They did not say relief. They did not say rushing towards a happy ending. “Katherine?” he said, even though Phillip was still railing.

She shook her head and denial forged its expression on her face. She had not come to say yes to him.

She moved suddenly and gripped Phillip’s arm. “Leave it, please, Phillip, let it be.”

“Let it be, Katherine? It cannot, be. You are with child. I am not giving him a choice. He has to take you!”

“With child?” Shock burst inside John, as Phillip’s gaze turned to him.

“You did not know?”

“No! I did not know! Katherine?” John moved towards her but she stepped away, painting him as the damned monster again.

“I will not have Katherine shamed!” Phillip barked, as though he didn’t know what else say.

But John was no longer interested in Phillip. Katherine was carrying his child, and she had been planning to marry her vicar regardless. “Katherine?” Why had she not told him?

She turned as if to leave. But he was not letting her. He caught her arm, holding her still, as he glanced back at Phillip. “Give us a moment.” When Phillip did not move, John lost his restraint. “I said, leave us! We need to speak.”

“If you hurt her,” Phillip snarled.

“He’ll not hurt me, Phillip,” Katherine whispered, though she looked terrified no matter her words.

As soon as the door shut, John let her go. “You have to marry me…”

“Your offer was made on a whim of jealousy, why would I wish for an arrogant, selfish man?”

“You are wrong, Katherine. I visited Phillip last night to tell him I was going to offer for you, I only found out about you and your vicar then. I asked you because I love you. I’m sorry you do not believe it, but you have no choice now, you will marry me.”

Her chin tipped up and her blue eyes flashed. “Will I?”

“Katherine, how can you wish otherwise? You cannot deny me my son or daughter, and them me? We both know what it means to be without our natural parents?” The floorboards had become quicksand again. “Why did you not tell me?” His voice carried accusation and anger. She’d hidden this from him.

Her chin tipped up higher. “What would you have done if I had, John?”

“I would have supported you.”

“How?”

“Katherine…”

“
How?”

“I don’t know what I would have said a few weeks ago, but I would have protected you.”

“And I would have been known as a whore and rejected by my family and hated by the people whose love I treasure. It is jealousy and selfishness that brought you back – and now I’ve lost that love.”

“I came back because I love you too much to let you go. My last offer was wrong, Katherine. I’m sorry. But now I wish you to be my wife. You cannot say no. Surely you understand that.”

Even though anger still burned in her eyes, dual tears escaped and ran down her cheeks. His fingers cupped her beautiful face and his thumbs wiped them away. His heart aching for her, he leant to kiss her. It had been weeks since he’d felt the pressure of her lips against his.

“John, your lip is bloody.” She pushed him back.

He’d forgotten.

Taking a handkerchief from his pocket, he pressed it against his lip. “But you will marry me?” She said nothing. “Say yes, Katherine.”

“If she does not say yes, I shall drag her to the damned altar.” Phillip stood in the doorway.

He must have entered when John had been distracted by his fumbled kiss.

“Yes,” Katherine breathed. John looked back at her. “Yes,” she said it again more loudly as if telling herself and not him, “I will marry you.”

A firecracker burst in his chest. “Thank you.” What inadequate words. “I will make you happy.” What an unemotional tone. Reserve was too instinctual to him. He smiled and flinched from the pain in his lip. But she smiled back.