The Same Woman (13 page)

Ulli ran out to meet her.

“What's going on? You moving in?”

“No, I have to move to my new place after work, and —”

“Skip it. I have news for you.”

“What, I'm fired?”

“No, way better, at least for you. Can you guess what it is?”

“Mmm, you're going to ask me on a date?”

“No, the news isn't that good.”

“I have no idea Ulli.”

“Okay okay I'll tell you. Someone you don't like very much, hint hint, got into an accident.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Frankie was crossing the street, walked on a wet banana peel — I kid you not — her foot slipped, she fell into oncoming traffic, and BAM! Broke her femur.”

Ruby laughed.

“Oh boy,” Ulli said, “I thought you would be happy, but I didn't think you would laugh out loud. You really are evil!”

Ruby stopped laughing. “I thought it was a joke.”

“No, it sounds like a joke, but I couldn't make this up. She's done. Kaput. She's at the Downtown Hospital.”

“She's dead?”

“Oh no, not dead. Just very seriously injured.”

“Ulli, if this is a joke, it's not funny.”

“I'm one hundred per cent serious!”

“Oh, oh no,” Ruby needed to get to a bathroom before the tears resumed. “No no no,” she said.

“Oh come on, cut the charade. Tell me you're not just a little bit relieved.”

“Ulli, what? What kind of a person would be relieved that someone else was in a bad accident?”

“You are such a drama queen.”

“No, I'm serious. What kind of a person do you think I am?”

Ulli frowned. “Well, I don't know, I just thought it made things easier for you.”

“Oh God. I need to sit down.”

Ulli dragged her bags inside. “You know, Dan is not going to be happy having this crud is here.”

“That's the least of my worries.” Ruby placed her hands flat on the bar and stared down at her spread fingers. She couldn't process what she'd just been told. The office door slammed and she jumped. Dan came thundering out.

“Ruby!” He yelled, his voice booming through the hall. “You're half an hour late! I can't fucking believe this! I lose a bartender, fuckin' Aurelio is at the hospital with her, and you turn up half an hour late! Jesus!” Ruby instinctively backed away from him, towards the wall. Ulli stepped out of the warpath.

“Well,” now that Dan was a few metres away from her, his voice dropped to a whisper. “Just don't let it happen again.” He was still for a moment. And then he slammed the bar, and now both Ulli and Ruby jumped in the air like cartoon characters.

“FUCK! What a day. Where are we going to find another bartender?” He glanced at Ruby. “Well, I guess at least someone's happy.”

Ruby looked around. “Are you talking about me?” She said.

“Who else would I be talking about, Princess? Your problems are solved. Poof! Just like that.”

“I'm not happy, Dan,” Ruby started.

“Yeah yeah. One woman's femur is another woman's gain. Come on, let's go get your till.” Ruby didn't move. “Come on!” He yelled. She went.

Malena was in the office, leaning across the desk to use the phone.

“What is going on here? Did I say you could use the phone?” Malena rolled her eyes at him in flagrant disrespect, but she got off the phone. She made for the door. Ruby got out of her way. She changed her course so that Ruby was back in her way, and then knocked her out of the way with her shoulder. Ruby stumbled.

“Hey, what?” she hissed. Malena looked back at her over her shoulder and shook her head slowly in thick dispproval.

“Don't mind her,” Dan called, “she's just upset about Frankie.”

“But I didn't cause the accident,” Ruby bleated.

“Yeah, but you may as well have, I guess. You benefit.”

“I don't —”

“Of course you do. For example, now I can give you your very own key card, so you can access the cash computer without having to use Ulli's card.” He opened a cupboard door and key cards on fluorescent rubber coils swung out. He pulled one down that had “Frankie” written on a piece of tape stuck to it. He began carefully removing the tape so that no residue was left.

“What? You're firing her?”

“Obviously I'm not firing her. But I can't wait around. It's going to take months before she can work again. What am I supposed to do? Aurelio is delivering the bad news to her as we speak.”

“Dan,” she said. But she did not want to cry in front of this man. So she kept quiet and watched as he used his red marker to write “Ruby” on a piece of tape. It was happening too fast. A few minutes ago she had felt like everything was fine. Now the entire world had warped. She couldn't find her footing.

“There you go. Smile Sweetheart, this is the beginning of a much better era for you. Though I have to say, poor Frankie. I know you two had your differences, but try and feel a little compassion for her, eh?” Flabbergasted, Ruby took the till and the key card and went out.

“Hey,” Ulli yelled. “Look who's here!” Ruby pushed the irritating gauze out of the way. Nal was standing by the bar.

“Hey you!” Nal called. “I thought I would stop by and see how you were doing!”

“I was just telling her about the drama,” he said.

“How come you never told me Frankie worked here?” Nal said.

“I, I didn't know.” Ruby stuttered back her old, comforting lie.

“Gee. I though the office politicking was bad at my work.”

“But you haven't heard the best part of the story Nal!” Ulli interrupted. Ruby put the till on the bar. She gripped the flesh of her mid section and bent over slightly. She had a good view of her hands again. She tried to follow with her eyes one of the wrinkles like a rivulet.

“Frankie got hit by a car. So there you go, now Ruby can work here in peace.”

“Oh my!” Nal said, “is she all right?”

“I don't know,” Ulli said, “I hope so, though not for Ruby's sake.” Ruby moaned softly.

“Ulli, that's a crass thing to say. Please, Ruby is a sensitive soul. She's not happy that Frankie is hurt.” This was what Ruby wanted to hear, but something in Nal's tone was off . It was playful.

“Isn't she?” Ulli said.

“Well,” Nal snorted, “are you Ruby?” Ruby stared at Nal. She was amused.

Both Nal and Ulli stood there with their faces twisted in macabre
humour. Everyone, Ruby thought, everyone wants me to be happy. It was like the room of ghouls in an amusement park fright house.

“I've gotta get out,” Ruby whispered to herself.

“What are you mumbling to yourself ?” Nal said.

“She's probably working on her next dastardly scheme.”

“Oh Ulli,” Nal chuckled and knocked his elbow offthe bar, “you should stop!”

“Hey, if it's not funny, why are you laughing?” And Nal was laughing.

And then Ruby ran. She grabbed her suitcase and her pack, and she ran. Her backpack swung wildly from back to front, occasionally knocking painfully into her leg. It shouldn't have been possible to move so fast with all that baggage. Her bones jarred with each smacking impact. Ruby concentrated on bringing one foot down, and the next. She just wanted to keep moving. The downtown was coated with dense, grey smog, the sky unpleasantly white.

“Come back Ruby! Ruby, Dan's going to kill me! Rubyyyyyy!” Ulli's high shrill voice followed her down the block as the pavement came up to slap the bottom of her feet. By some chance she hadn't changed into her heels yet. She ran two blocks without stopping, taking quick random turns to prevent anyone from following her.

She took a turn and then another turn. She didn't know where she was. Her chest ached painfully, demanding that she stop. She dropped her bags, and walked in a tiny circle. She gripped her sides. Sweat dripped down her back, from her armpits to her waist, in the back of her knees. Everything hurt. She gave her soft backpack a quick kick, and two office workers on their way home eyed her nervously.

She didn't know where to go or what to do. She could never go back to the club. She looked up at the little pocket of disfigured sky between the peaks of buildings. It is impossible to know where you are with buildings so tall around you. She could only see snippets of the skyline. She tried to read the names of the buildings, like people at sea read the stars when they are lost. The buildings had ugly names: 8, Business Place. The Banking Building. Some were so obvious that it was funny: Money Court. Downtown Hospital.

There it was, the Downtown Hospital.

She knew where she had to go.

Ruby didn't mind hospitals. It was one of the things she was proud of. She felt oddly at home in this hospital's huge entrance hall, like a train station. She didn't feel self-conscious about her grimy face, pale and splotchy from the exertion of running; her hair a flattened, muggy mess; or her luggage, dirty and battered by the sidewalks. People kept to themselves, most of them sealed in their own compartments of worry. They circled around each other, oblivious, like roaming islands.

The lobby had high, rounded ceilings and plants poured from farup window sills. People with security badges on thick strings around their necks ran this way and that, looking too speedy and too stressed to stop and give directions. When Ruby was a university student, trawling the city streets at unprofessional hours, her and Isi always used to come to this hospital to use the bathroom. She knew where the bathroom was, but she didn't know where to ask for information. She didn't know which ward Frankie would be in, or, for that matter, her last name.

Most people seemed to going in and out of a tunnel at the other end of the hall, so she followed them. A trail of round stickers with a cartoon stork carrying a bubbling baby began at the mouth of the tunnel. The trail of storks was probably going to take her in the wrong direction, to a wing of bouncing babies. But there was nothing in the lobby beyond a flower shop, a pharmacy and a gift shop, so Ruby followed the storks. The trail continued a long way, and she knew she was getting further and further from finding Frankie. Everybody else seemed to know where to go.

Ruby was tired of being worried. A man in the hospital's regulation blue pants raced past her. Ruby called out, “Please!” The man stopped. Ruby was surprised.

“Can you help me? My friend was in a traffic accident. I'm trying to find her.”

“Did they just bring her in?” The man only half turned, the right side of his body still facing in the direction he wanted to run, the left side angled towards Ruby.

“No, I don't know when she came in, maybe yesterday?”

“Go to Information,” the man started to run away.

“Where's Information?” Ruby called hopelessly after him.

“You have to exit the building, take the first left, and find Ethel St.!” He was running backwards, disregarding personal safety. These directions didn't make any sense. Ruby followed the storks back to the great hall. This plan was not working out. She went out the door she'd come in. A dirty blast of hot air smacked her in the face. She turned left, her suitcase wheels scraping unenthusiastically against the cement. She came to the corner. The man said turn left and then find Ethel St., but which direction did she go in to find Ethel St.? She walked the perimeter of the building, down Orchard Rd., up Ng Suan Kheng St., across Gilmour Ave., and back down the street where she'd begun. She was walking in circles. Ruby tried not to wail.

“Hey you,” she turned around. A very pregnant teenage girl with dirty hair wearing a hospital gown and smoking a cigarette was waving her over. There was a sign next to her asking people not to smoke within ten feet of the building.

“You're lost,” she pronounced.

“Uh huh,” Ruby said.

“What are you looking for?”

“I don't even know. My friend was hit by a car, she came to the hospital some time this week,” Ruby knew how silly the vagueness of these details were, “and I'm just trying to find her. I've walked all the way around this building.”

“She's not in this building,” the girl said, with the wisdom of an augur, blowing smoke expertly out of the corner of her mouth to keep it out of Ruby's face.

“She isn't? How do you know?”

“She's in that building,” she jabbed her cigarette across the street. Ruby turned around. The words ACCIDENT AND EMERGENCY appeared in huge, glowing red letters over an entrance flooded with ambulances.

“Oh,” Ruby was overcome, “thank you.” She wanted to hug her.

“What are you waiting for? Are you gonna lecture me about smoking?” She turned suddenly hostile.

“No no,” Ruby gathered her luggage and moved along.

She weaved past the taxis and emergency vehicles, past the old, ashy men standing around and staring, hooked up to intravenous drips hung on posts with wheels. The emergency department buzzed with machines. A sign saying INFORMATION pointed down another tunnel. Ruby made for her prize.

Away from the ambulance bay things were more peaceful. She could hear piped, instrumental versions of last year's sexy dance hits. Two people chatted at the Information desk, organising racks of pamphlets with facts on the varied topics of lupus, irritable bowel syndrome, and major depression.

As she got closer and closer to her elusive destination, she felt her heart start to flex with dread. Her stomach twisted like snakes tangling endlessly together. How much could one stomach take?

“Not now,” she told her body. But what was she going to say to the Information Officers? Hello, where is Frankie? She could hardly bring herself to say her name.

She could hardly bring herself to say her name. The truth of this hit her.

There was a pale pink plastic bench, right next to the windowless opening in the wall where the information officers sat. Carefully, she
unloaded her luggage. The desk staff discussed the finer points of pamphlet management and were oblivious to Ruby as she sat herself down neatly in the soft-hued hallway. Tears gathered once again in the corners of her eyes, but there was no shuddering or bawling this time. The tears fell with no fireworks, graceful, caressing the circles of her face.