The Saint and the Sinner (20 page)

“I am well enough,” the Earl said positively, “so why not now? And as we both have something to say to each other, I must play the gentleman and concede to a lady the right to go first.”

Pandora sat down in the chair that was placed near the bed for anyone who wished to talk to the Earl.

She did not look at him but sat staring at her linked fingers as if she had never seen them before. The Earl’s eyes were on her face and, after a few seconds had passed, he said,

“I am waiting, and of course I am extremely curious to hear what you have to say to me.”

“You may – perhaps have – wondered,” Pandora said in a hesitating little voice, “why – Uncle Augustus has permitted me to – stay here after he returned from London.”

“It had crossed my mind,” the Earl replied. “But, as you were nursing me so efficiently, I presumed he thought that, prostrate and unconscious, I hardly constituted a danger to your youth and innocence.”

“Uncle Augustus did not – come to see me – himself,” Pandora went on. “I expected him to do so – but instead he – wrote me a – letter.”

The Earl did not speak and after a moment she said,

“He told me that I had – caused so much – scandal in Lindchester by – coming here that he and my aunt could no longer – offer me a home with – them.”

The Earl raised his eyebrows. Then he said,

“It is an action you might have anticipated – in fact you did anticipate it when you came here to escape the advances of the fire-breathing Chaplain.”

His lips twisted in a faint smile as he added, “What were the words you told me which made you think of such a solution to your problem? Something about my never entertaining anything but doxies and play-actresses with whom no decent man would associate.”

Pandora made a little sound but she did not interrupt as the Earl continued,

“You chose to make your descent into Hell. You can hardly blame the pontifical Bishop if he feels you have become slightly besmirched in the process.”

“I am not – complaining,” Pandora replied, “but I have to make some – plans for the – future. That is why I wanted to – ask you – something.”

“What is that?” the Earl enquired.

“I thought – perhaps if you would – allow me I – could stay – here.”

She glanced at him for a moment, then went on quickly,

“Not as a guest, not as an encumbrance in any way. You need never see me, but I could work in the still-room or help Mrs. Meadowfield by mending the linen. There are dozens of things I could do – and you would not even – know I was – here.”

“And you think that would make you happy?” the Earl asked.

“To be at Chart Hall would be like being in Heaven!” Pandora answered, and her face lit up. “I promise on my honour I would not do anything that you would find irritating or obtrusive – but I would be here – and sometimes I could see… ”

She stopped suddenly.

She had been so carried away by what she was saying that she had forgotten that if she finished her sentence it would be very revealing.

She might have guessed, however, that such an observation would not escape the Earl.

“You would see… ?” he questioned. “What or whom?”

Pandora hesitated.

“The – people in the – village, of – whom I am very – fond.”

“Of course,” the Earl agreed. “And you do not think you would find it incumbent upon you to remonstrate with me if I brought my dissolute friends down from London, smashing, stealing, or disposing of things that you would consider to be sacred because they have been in the family for so many years?”

“I should mind – of course I should mind,” Pandora replied honestly, “but you would not be – aware of my – feelings.”

“Just because you did not express them?” the Earl queried. “You do not think I would feel your condemnation vibrating through the Castle, standing behind me like the voice of my conscience, dragging me out of the depths of my depravity?”

“I would try not to – make you – feel like – that.”

“Supposing I tell you that however much you tried, I should be aware of your thoughts, your feelings, and your unhappiness?”

“What you are – really saying,” Pandora said in a very low voice, “is that you do not – want me – here.”

“I have not said that.”

“It is – what you – mean,” she insisted, “and I understand.”

She gave a little sigh and he saw that her fingers were trembling, but her voice had a note of bravery in it as she went on,

“Dr. Graham said he would try to find me – employment of – some sort, but perhaps it would be – best if I went – away from Chart altogether.”

“Surely that would be very selfish.”

“Selfish?”

“Who is going to teach me the history of the family if you are not here? Who is going to remind me how the last Earl, the Earl before him, and the Earl before that, behaved?”

“I – I do not – understand what you are – saying,” Pandora replied. “You do not – want me here – and yet you say… ”

“I have not said I do not want you,” the Earl answered. “I merely said that, however skilfully you hide yourself, if you are in the Castle I should feel your presence.”

Pandora made a helpless little gesture with her hands, and her eyes looked at his piteously.

“Then – tell me what I am – to do.”

He looked at her and it was impossible for either of them to look away.

Then, after a long moment when it seemed to Pandora that there was just the expression in the Earl’s eyes and nothing else in the whole world, she said again in a whisper that was almost beneath her breath,

“I do not – understand.”

The Earl put out his hand again and, now, almost as if she was mesmerised into obeying him she put her hand into his.

He pulled her firmly towards him and she was not quite certain how it happened, but she was now sitting on the side of the bed, facing him, so close that his face was only a little way from hers.

“What I am trying to say, Pandora,” the Earl said quietly, “is that if I am to stay at Chart, which is what you have been insisting I must do, then you must stay here with me.”

He saw a sudden expression of hope in her eyes and he went on,

“Not in the still-room, not hidden away in some obscure part of the house, but with me.”

He felt the sudden movement of Pandora’s fingers as they fluttered in his, and now she was holding on to him, afraid that what she had heard was untrue or else she had misunderstood his meaning.

“If we are to live here together,” the Earl went on, “it will certainly give Lindchester too much to talk about, unless you make an effort to bring an air of respectability to Chart Hall.”

Pandora’s eyes were still held by his. “H-how – could I – do that?”

The words were hardly audible, but he heard them.

“Do I have to spell it out?” he questioned. “But of course! Every woman is entitled to the full drama of a proposal of marriage.”

He saw the startled, astonished expression on Pandora’s face and said very softly,

“Will you marry me, my lovely one? It will be an ill-assorted union of the Saint and the Sinner, but perhaps we can compromise halfway between the two.”

He spoke as if he forced himself to be light and mocking, but there was an expression in his eyes that made Pandora draw in her breath.

“D-do you mean – do you really mean… ?” she began.

Then the Earl's arms were round her as he pulled her roughly against him.

“I mean this,” he said, and his lips came down on hers.

For a moment Pandora could hardly realise, hardly believe, that it was happening.

Then she knew that this was everything she wanted, everything she had longed and prayed for and thought was completely impossible and beyond her reach.

Her lips were very soft, young, and innocent, and the Earl instinctively checked his desire and kissed her gently until he felt her respond and her body quiver against his.

To Pandora the wonder of his lips evoked a thousand times more vividly and intensely the sensation she had experienced when she had felt his heart beating against the palm of her hand.

As he held her closer still, she knew that his lips gave her all the beauty of Chart, all her love of the great house and the things she had revered and treasured because she was a part of them.

Her whole body responded to his and she felt herself throbbing with the wonder and perfection of it.

Finally when the Earl raised his head to look down into her face she could only feel as if he lifted her up into the sky and it was impossible to come back to earth.

“I – love – you!” she whispered, and knew they were the words she had spoken a thousand times, but never had she thought she would be able to say them to him.

“What have you done to me, my darling?” the Earl asked, and his voice was very deep and moving. “I suppose I might have known this would happen when you first came into the Morning-Room looking so frightened and so incredibly lovely in your little Puritan dress.”

“Do you – really love – me?” Pandora asked.

“I tried to hate you because you are a Chart, because you are one of my cursed relations,” the Earl said. “I wanted you to be shocked and outraged by my friends and their behaviour. Instead, I have been unable to see anything but your face and your eyes. They have haunted me and captivated me as I am convinced they will do for the rest of my life.”

“It is not true – it cannot be true that you – really want me,” Pandora murmured.

Now, because it was all so overwhelming, the tears ran down her cheeks.

The Earl kissed them away. Then he was kissing her lips again, kissing her demandingly, passionately, as if he wanted to possess every particle of her and make it his own.

“I love you!” he said. “I love you so overwhelmingly that I, like you, cannot believe it is true that this is really happening. But it is, my precious, and I suppose you are going to say it is all due to some spell the Hall has cast upon us.”

“Perhaps it is the house – perhaps the people who have lived in it – and perhaps it is just – ourselves,” Pandora answered, “but when I fell in – love with you, I never – thought that – you would – love me.”

“And now you know that I do?” the Earl asked.

She hid her face against him because she felt it was impossible to answer him, impossible to explain the wild thrills that were running through her or that her heart was singing with some angelic chorus high above the earth.

The Earl kissed her hair.

“You smelt of violets when I carried you back on my horse after those swines had abducted you,” he said, “and I knew then that that was the fragrance I wanted in my home and which was already in my heart.”

“Oh, Norvin!” Pandora whispered, thinking of the strong perfume which Kitty and all the other actresses had used.

As if he sensed what she was thinking, as he always did, he said,

“Forget them. They served their purpose in bringing us together. Fate moves in mysterious ways!”

“If that is true,” Pandora said, “I shall always be grateful, deeply – deeply grateful, that they brought me – here to you, but – Norvin?”

It was a question, and after a moment he asked: “What is it?”

“They are so – pretty – amusing, and entertaining – and I am – afraid that you will find me – dull.”

She did not look at him as she spoke, and the Earl smiled over her head as if he looked back into the past and realised it was a closed chapter.

Aloud he said,

“You may not have the footlights to glamorise you, my lovely one; you may not wear breeches and drink champagne until the early hours of the morning; but I have a feeling that the drama and romance of Chart will prove more entertaining than
The Beggar’s Opera
or any other play.”

His arms tightened as he added,

“I promise you no Leading Lady could be lovelier or more alluring than you.”

She looked up at him with a smile of radiant happiness, then his lips were once more on hers.

He kissed her demandingly and insistently until she felt a flame within her respond to the fire in his eyes and the frantic beating of his heart that she could feel against her breasts.

Then with an effort she pushed him away from her and rose from the bed.

“You are – supposed to be – an invalid,” she said, her voice unsteady and breathless. “You must – not exert yourself or get over-excited.”

“I am over-excited!” he answered. “Do – I – excite – you?”

“To the point of madness. I want to pull you into bed with me and show you how much I love you.” He spoke passionately and saw the colour flare into Pandora’s cheeks. He laughed softly.

“My sweet darling, my precious, innocent little Saint, I must not shock you!”

He would have pulled her back into his arms but she avoided him and stood just out of reach, looking at him with her heart in her eyes.

He knew, as he saw her flushed cheeks, her lips soft from his kisses, and her fair hair a little tumbled, that he had never imagined a woman could look more lovely or more enticing.

He held out both his arms to her. “Come here! I want you!”

“You must be – sensible, and take – care of yourself,” Pandora replied.

Then as she was propelled towards him despite herself, she moved forward not into his arms but onto her knees beside him.

“Is it – true – is it really – true that you – want me for your wife? It is what I have – longed for, what Mama would have wished, that I should be here in her home! But it is all too – wonderful for me not to think it is a dream and I shall wake up.”

“It is true, my sweet,” the Earl answered, “but you will have to help me. I have made a mess of everything up-to-date – I am well aware of that – so I need you! God knows I need you!”

Pandora leant her cheek against his hand as it covered hers, and he went on,

“I suppose those are the same words that a man says to a woman when he wants her body and her love, but I want much more from you.”

Pandora raised her face to look up at him. Her eyes were full of sunshine.

“I have lived with hate for so long,” the Earl continued, “that it is ingrained deep within me. It has coloured everything I have done, said, and thought.”