The Rules (22 page)

Show him some respect? That did it. I’d never been so enraged. “You want respect?” I yelled.

“Yes, please.”

“Like you respected me for ten days?” I stood now. My legs shook, but I held it together and stomped around my desk to face Cade with my hands on my hips. “Was it respect you demonstrated when you lied to me? Was it respect I was supposed to glean from the way you made promises to me you couldn’t possibly keep? Was it respect you meant to project when you left me standing at a bar in a room full of people you knew would readily eat me alive and spit out my bones?” Spit flew from my mouth with every few words as I leaned into him.

He looked genuinely shocked.

“What’s the matter? Are you out of insults to sling at me?” I pointed at the door. “Go. I need to get out of here. I have a date tonight, and it’s going to take a lot of groveling and explanation to even keep that date. He’s probably already changed his phone number because of you.” Why I chose to add all that, I had no idea, but it was worth it from the look on his face.

He thought for a second and then it dawned. “That guy from Stephen’s Engineering?”

“Yep. Not that it’s any of your business.”

Cade pursed his lips together. If he laughed, I would be furious. Instead he schooled his expression and sighed. “That man is totally wrong for you.”

“Not for you to decide.”

Cade shook his head, dismayed. “You’re lying to yourself if you think that man is capable of making you happy. What was his name? Brad?”

I walked away from him. That he was right was inconsequential. I knew as well as Cade did that I would never have anything significant with Brad. But that was beside the point.

I was done arguing. I grabbed my purse and my phone and walked right past him. When I stepped into the corridor, I was relieved to find the office almost empty. It was late. Lisa was gone. Most of the staff would be too.

Cade didn’t follow me. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed. And that made me angrier.

I made it to my car on sheer will. I made it to my apartment in a state of shock. I didn’t shed a single tear until I was in my bedroom and had collapsed on my mattress, the one that lay on the floor without a frame.

I curled into a ball and let the waterfall begin. I sobbed hard for half an hour, knowing if I didn’t, it would just drag out the inevitable.

Damn Cade Alexander.

My perfect life had hit a brick wall, shattering as a physical representation of the fragile existence I’d been living for five months.

I cried harder when I thought about how hard I’d worked to get where I was today. The sacrifices I’d made. The way I’d managed to bury my emotions so deep they were almost unrecognizable. I’d convinced myself I didn’t need any of what Cade had offered me. Even though I’d known beyond a shadow of a doubt he’d awakened something I couldn’t deny, I wasn’t about to risk my heart by letting another man dominate me.

I’d thought for about a half a second about joining a BDSM club or attending a munch, but I’d tamped down the urge and let it go.

There wasn’t a Dom alive who would ever make me feel the way Cade had. Still did. Damn it. Even his presence behind me from the moment he’d stepped into my space had made me want to submit to his will.

I’d put on a fantastic front. I meant every word I’d spoken, but deep inside, he’d proven I was ruined for other men. He owned me. No one else would ever measure up.

Even angry, he owned me. Even though I knew he was married and he was the worst father of all time, he owned me. I hated him for destroying that part of me. Making it so I would never have a normal relationship with another man.

Brad Phelps didn’t deserve this. He was too kind. He deserved a woman who would love him back. Not a shadow of a girl who would never be true to herself or him.

I needed to call him and break our date. Hell, if he took the call, it would be a miracle.

I pulled myself to sitting and reached for the box of unending tissues on my nightstand. I’d already replaced it a dozen times since I’d moved to Nashville. How many more boxes would I need in the dead of night before I died?

I padded to my bathroom and washed my face. Pulling off my clothes, I dropped them along the path back to my closet. I even took off my bra, glad for the release of pressure against my chest. My breasts had felt confined and swollen since Cade stepped in the room. I couldn’t tolerate another minute of them rubbing against my bra. I grabbed my favorite yoga pants from the floor and tugged them over my legs. Then I reached for my most comfy sweatshirt and pulled it over my head.

Lastly, I tugged my hair up high on my head and fastened it with a discarded hair band from my nightstand.

With a deep breath, I headed for the kitchen to make a few calls. First Brad. Then Cheyenne. Then Meagan. My girls would freak. This was inconceivable. But they needed to know. And I needed to face reality.

Chapter Eighteen

First things first. I needed fortification. I opened my refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of my favorite wine, a Marcassin Chardonnay. I tamped down the part of me that cringed over this indulgence.

It was true, everything I knew about wine I’d learned from Cade. And I’d become a wine snob. My main extravagance, even when things were at their worst, was expensive Chardonnay. I was unapologetic.

I grabbed my second luxury from the drawer in my kitchen, a fantastic corkscrew, and extricated the cork from the bottle with ease.

A few sips of my favorite beverage and I closed my eyes and felt almost human.

And then there was a knock at my door. I stared at it for a moment, which didn’t suddenly give me x-ray vision. If Cade had followed me home or gotten my address from human resources, I would personally kill him.

I set my glass on the sorry looking kitchen table and padded to the door with heavy feet. A peek in the peephole told me what I should have realized in the first place.

Shit
.

Brad.

I hadn’t called him yet. I also hadn’t expected him to show up after the scene at the office. I opened the door quick. “Hey.” I opened it wider. “Come in.”

He walked in, his brow furrowed in confusion. “I thought we were going out?”

He seriously still wanted to go out?

“Am I early?” He glanced at his watch.

“No. I, uh, I just assumed…”

“Ah.” He rocked on his feet, his hands tucked in his pockets. And then he shrugged. “Sorry about earlier. I wasn’t mad at
you
.”

“Of course you were. And you had every right to be. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

He looked at me in confusion. “Why? Because some rich guy wants in your pants? I don’t give a shit about that. I was just pissed he needed to make that apparent to everyone in the room. You must have wanted to kill that bastard. I don’t care if he
is
the owner.”

“Yeah.” I sure did want to kill him. But Brad didn’t know the half of it.

“So, you still want to go out?”

I weighed that possibility for a moment. I could. Would it be wrong of me to ignore my complete lack of sexual attraction for this guy and give it a shot?

Another knock at the door sounded before I could open my mouth.

Brad stepped back and pulled it open before I could stop him.

Cade.

Of course. I mean when would the universe
not
rain on my parade?

Cade rolled his eyes and stomped into my apartment as if he owned the place. “Seriously?” he asked me. He wore the suit and tie he’d worn to the office, which meant he’d probably come straight to my apartment.

“Cade. This isn’t a good time.”

Brad stood at his full height and faced Cade also. “Dude. I really don’t think the lady is interested. Why don’t you give it up?”

Cade laughed.

I wanted to punch him. What a dick.

“That’s rich.” Cade strolled into my apartment, glancing around. He took off his jacket and draped it over the back of the couch. He then proceeded to loosen his tie.

I cringed.
Make yourself at home, why don’t you
.

Brad, I wasn’t embarrassed about. He’d seen my apartment a few times in the past. He knew I didn’t have the money for more furniture.

And why the hell was I silently justifying myself to Cade?

“Cade. Leave.” I grabbed the front door and held it open. “You’re not welcome here.”

Cade ignored me and sat on my couch, stretching out both arms and getting as comfortable as a person could on my ratty, beaten-up, beige sofa.

“You heard the lady. She asked you to leave, Mr. Alexander.” Brad stood firm. I admired him for his actions. I even appreciated the way he stood up for me. However, my heart wasn’t beating for him. It had started pumping the second Cade walked in.

There was a moment of standoff. Or so it seemed. Though I was sure it wasn’t a standoff for Cade at all. He knew exactly who was going to win this battle, and it wasn’t going to be Brad. Or me for that matter.

Finally, Cade spoke. “Amelia, unless you want me to air our dirty laundry in front of your friend here, I suggest you tell him good night.”

I stopped breathing. He was being an ass, and I was losing my patience. I also knew he would absolutely follow through on that threat, giving me no choice but to dismiss Brad.

I turned to find Brad’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Really? Lillie, you don’t have to put up with this. Let’s just go. If he won’t leave, call the cops.”

I wished it were that simple.

I touched Brad’s arm and peered into his eyes. “I’m sorry. I truly am. But I need to work out a few things with Cade. Can I have a rain check?”

The hurt on Brad’s face made me want to hang my head in shame. But I held steady, trying to convey without words how sorry I was. And not just for breaking our date, but for breaking our future. I knew he was into me. This would burn a little, and I wouldn’t break things off with him, things that had never really started, right here in front of Cade. That would have to wait.

Brad sighed and nodded. He walked to the door like the true gentleman he was. His fingers touched my cheek as he turned around. “Call me.” He glanced over my shoulder. “Even later tonight if you need.”

I nodded.

He dropped his hand and walked away while I watched.

I swallowed what I knew to be true. That was the first time he’d touched my face. And nothing. No sparks. No fireworks. Nothing.

Damn it. It would have been so much easier if Brad were the man of my dreams.

I shut the door finally and turned to face the bane of my existence.

“Have you slept with him?”

I flinched. “None of your business.”

Cade narrowed his gaze at me. He sighed and then spoke again. “Come here, Amelia.” His voice held less conviction than earlier. His words were still commanding, and I was drawn to him like a puppet, but he wasn’t as angry. He’d lost some of the initial edge.

I ignored him and walked to my table to grab my wine.

Cade glanced at the bottle on the counter and smiled. “Good vintage.”

I rolled my eyes and then relented. “You want a glass?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

I grabbed another wineglass from the cabinet and poured some of my favorite Chardonnay in it. Of course this required me to stroll across the room and hand it to him, which meant I would need to get within arm’s reach, which would be dangerous.

And I wasn’t mistaken. Cade took the glass with one hand, but he grabbed my forearm with the other and pulled me down next to him.

Most of his anger had dissipated. I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing, but he reached for me tentatively and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. “You changed your hairstyle.”

“I needed something new.” I shrugged. I’d added highlights and shortened it some. My belly tightened at his simple touch. It was impossible for me to ignore what he did to me just by entering a room. This was why I needed to get rid of him. And fast. Before I did something stupid.

“I like it.”

“I don’t care what you like.”

Cade stopped moving, his mouth falling. He took a long drink and then leaned his head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. “Please, baby. Give me a bone here. If I had any idea what I did to deserve your wrath, I would sleep better at night.”

“Really? You think so? So, if I tell you what I’m pissed off about, you’ll leave me alone and let me go?”

He lifted his gaze and frowned. He blinked a few times. He had no idea what I could possibly say to make him let me be. “Amelia—”

“No, I’m serious. If I agree to tell you what happened that day, I want you to agree to leave me alone.”

“I’m not sure what to say to that.”

“Take it or leave it.”

Cade took a deep breath and then relented. “Okay.”

“It’s simple. I can sum it up for you in one word. And you can walk out that door right now.”

“Baby…”

“Olivia.”

Cade’s stance changed in less than a heartbeat. He bolted to an upright position from his slouch and almost dropped his wine. He managed to set the glass precariously on the floor near the couch before he lost it. But he’d also gone noticeably mute.

“Now you know. Please leave me alone.”

“What?” His word was nearly screeched. “Are you telling me Olivia came to my house and spoke to you while I was at work that day?”

I narrowed my gaze. “That’s what I’m telling you.”

He jumped up from the couch and began to pace. “I haven’t seen or heard from her in years. That bitch. What the fuck did she say to make you run?” He ran his hands through his hair.

“Oh, you know. Just little details.” I raised my voice for the next part. “Like how you’re
married
to her and
have a little girl
.” I was shouting by the end. I stood and stomped from the room to get more wine. I might as well drink it from the bottle at that point.

“What?” Cade screamed even louder than me. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

I had the bottle of wine hovering over my glass when he asked that question. My blood froze. I stopped breathing.

I set the bottle back on the counter and lifted my face.