Authors: Catherine Cerveny
“Because sometimes a man will say anything in order to have a woman under him. I would still very much like to fuck you, but I see now it would mean very different things to each of us. Two of Cups reversed, after all. One of us will ruin this. I suspect it will be me. It would be better to end this before it starts.”
I sat there shocked, watching his back and broad shoulders, his posture stiff with resolve. Gods, was this actually happening? A tear leaked out before I could blink it back. How many damned times would I pick the wrong man? I claimed to never lie to myself, and yet here I was, letting myself believe that this mattered, that he might actually want me after the fiasco with Roy and the crushing heartbreak of Dante. How could I be so stupid all over again?
I looked down at the cards on the table. They'd always held the truth even if I still lacked some of the details. Was I willing to let that go yet? “But what if it's already started?”
“If it has, it will not go further. I will not go down this road with you.” He strode across the room, his hand on the door handle. “Once I determine the best way to approach your mother, I'll be in touch. Until then,
do svidaniya
, Ms. Sevigny.”
And before I could think of a retort or jump to my feet to stop him, he was gone.
I don't care what anyone saysâcold showers are useless.
Even still, I spent the next half hour standing in the shower stall, alternating the water temperature between freezing and tepid as if that might somehow calm me down. The room also contained a deluxe sonic-cleaner. Seeing that made me cry a little, reminding me of the condo I'd shared with Roy and my shattered dreams for the futureâa future I wasn't even sure I wanted anymore. Petriv's rejection was the finishing touch to one of the most horrific weeks of my entire life.
When I could no longer stay in the shower, I paced the room like the cage it was. From one end of the suite to the other, to the balcony and the cool evening air, then back againâI ran the circuit until I exhausted myself, alternating between tears and vicious bouts of profanity. I was angry at myself for getting into this situation. At Petriv for making me want him, then tossing me aside. At Roy for his lies. At my mother for making me little more than a research project. At TransWorld and their manipulation designed to exploit and capitalize on my alleged luck gene. I sure as shit didn't feel lucky now.
My c-tex fluttered against my wrist, indicating room service had arrived with whatever Petriv had ordered earlier. I ignored it, hoping it would explode his calorie consumption index through the roof, though I knew he wasn't affected by such things. I continued pacing instead, unable to get a grip on my feelings. I couldn't even imagine eating now.
Sometime later, I heard a knock at the door. Startled, I answered without having the AI scan the hall, illogically hoping it was Petriv. My face fell when I found his tech-med standing on the threshold.
“Karol. Hi. What are you doing here?”
I knew I looked terrible. My eyes were red and blotchy, and my nose ran like a broken faucet. I was distraught over something I'd created in my own head and Petriv wasn't interested in pursuingâor at least not in the way I wanted. Maybe he'd even told Karol to deal with me because he thought me too unstable.
If Karol noticed my state of disarray, he said nothing. Instead, he entered looking as ill at ease as I did, displaying none of the arrogance of our first shim communication.
“Good evening, Ms. Sevigny. I have some good news,” he said in that nasally, accented voice. “The team
Gospodin
Petriv assigned to locate the contents of your condo was successful earlier today. Everything was found in a storage facility outside Nairobi. As we speak, your belongings are being returned to their original location.”
I blinked. I'd forgotten all about that in light of my current Petriv-induced drama. I tried to dredge up a spurt of excitement and failed miserably. “So I can go back to my condo?”
“It's unadvisable given TransWorld's interest in you, but yes.
Gospodin
Petriv bought the condo from the holding company and transferred sole ownership to your name. You'll find a shim with the new building access codes, which should prevent future break-ins.”
Wow. He'd bought the condo for me. What a lovely parting gift. Should I be amazed and grateful or pissed and irritated? Pissed and irritated won, hands down. “What if I don't want to live there anymore? It's not like it's chock-full of good memories now.”
Karol looked at a loss for words, as if I'd said something outside whatever script he usually followed. “You could always sell it back to the Consortium, I suppose,” he tried. “It's yours, so you can do whatever you wish with it.”
“What would Mr. Petriv do if I said I didn't want it?”
“I'm not certain he would mind one way or the other. He rarely comments to me on such matters.”
The man looked uncomfortableâprobably wondering if Petriv would smack him around again because of a minor slight toward meâso I gave up tormenting him. The joke was on him anyway. Petriv had cock-blocked himself; there was no need to cozy up to me. “It's fine. I appreciate the condo.”
I don't think my thanks were effusive enough, or maybe just Karol wanted more. He blinked and cleared his throat, then made a few “ahms” and “well thens” before resettling himself.
“Do you like the new updates to your c-tex bracelet?” he tried. “I gave you mainline AI access for whatever region you happen to be in, bumped your CN-net space to unlimited storage, and upgraded the holo pop-up capacity. I would have done more but I'm restricted by the technology. You should consider external t-mod adapters. They may not have the same abilities as internal, but they're an improvement over your c-tex.”
“Did Mr. Petriv tell you to do that?”
“He asked me earlier to improve your tech situation. I thought these were useful additions.”
As infuriated as I was with Petriv, I couldn't help being interested. “I didn't know external t-mods were possible.”
“It's something the Tsarist Consortium perfected years ago, but One Gov wasn't interested. They believed the population segment that might benefit was too small. However, the product does quite well in the underground markets on Mars and Venus.”
Black markets on Mars and VenusâI filed that information for later. In the meantime I considered the benefits of a tech boost, though it would drive my family insane. “What other projects are you working on?”
“Quantum teleporting of solid matter. Lightspeed propulsion drives. Remote asteroid mining via AI drones, cellular reconstruction to allow for more rapid healing and potential shape-shifting abilities,” he rattled off immediately. I blinked. No wonder the man had scoffed at my antiquated c-tex bracelet.
“People could actually change their shape to whatever they wanted?”
“Possibly. We're also exploring the potential to upgrade MH Factors after birth rather than in the womb. Most of the projects are still in the planning and hypothetical phases, though we've made good progress on the teleporting. Some testing, but nothing concrete we're ready to present. A foothold on Mars would be a significant step to furthering our research.”
“I thought teleporting was illegal.”
“Not precisely. One Gov hasn't decreed it yet, at any rate.”
“Probably because no one thinks it can be done. Listen, are you sure you should tell me this? Isn't it confidential Consortium information?” I asked, deciding I couldn't hear anymore. The less I knew about their business, the better, even if secrets were spilled to me at every turn.
“
Gospodin
Petriv obviously values you. Otherwise, why all this?” He made a vague gesture that could encompass anything from my being in the hotel, to buying my condo, to my recent globetrotting. To Karol, I was Petriv's newest toy.
A toy he didn't want to play with anymore
, I reminded myself.
“This has all been very interesting, and thank you for theâ¦news. I think I'll turn in for the evening,” I said. Time to get him out of the room so I could continue my freak-out.
“Yes, I understand. I believe I heard Oksana suggest asking you to join them for a night out in the city, but there was some concern that you needed your rest.
Gospodin
Petriv felt it best you not be disturbed, though I was sure he would have wanted you to know about the condo findings as soon as they became available.”
I frowned. “He's not here?”
“Correct. He's never cared for Brazil, so I found it strange that he accepted Oksana's invitation, but⦔ He shrugged. “I'm the only one on-site at the moment. I've some AI issues to address.”
“I see.” No, I didn't see. Petriv was out while I paced my hotel room, driving myself insane because I all I could think of was him. Thatâ¦asshole!
Oblivious to my turmoil, Karol nodded. “Have a pleasant evening and sleep well, Ms. Sevigny.” He bowed a little and showed himself out.
Once again, I was alone. Yet instead of being sexually frustrated and confused, I also had the pleasure of being angrier than I'd ever been in my life. Before I even knew what I was doing, I threw on one of the outfits in the closetâa trendy metallic shimmer dress in dark turquoise. I fought to wriggle it into place. It was strapless and skintight, with terrific support in the bust. I spent some time fiddling with front and rear coverage. When I felt comfortable, I pulled on matching knee boots, ran a heat-brush through my hair with the setting on “sleek,” and applied makeup with gusto. I didn't know my ultimate objectiveâonly that I felt unfocused, unsteady, and needed to go out. That attitude usually got me into trouble but I didn't care.
I headed straight to the hotel bar. Now that it was evening, there was a good deal more activity. The music was loud, all the tables were occupied, and three bartenders were on duty. Perfect.
I found an empty stool and ordered a Venusian Blush. It was delivered promptly and set before me in a glass that glittered as if it contained diamonds. Removing the cherry, I sipped the shimmering pink liquid. Gods, it was strong and sweet enough to rot my teeth. I took a bigger sip before I put it down and considered my options.
I locked eyes with a man on the other side of the bar. The dim lighting made it difficult to see him clearly but I noted brown hair a little too long and just this side of shaggy, and possibly brown eyes. He was clean shaven, with even and regular features, and nice shouldersâwell within One Gov specifications. Unfortunately, after spending time with Petriv, my view of men had become skewed in the wrong direction. A man I once considered perfectly acceptable seemed unremarkable and bland. That revelation made me even angrier.
It looked like he'd been attempting eye contact for some time because he smiled and raised his glass when I met his gaze. I returned the gesture. No doubt he'd already perused my CN-net avatar. Good luck, considering I didn't have oneâat least not in the traditional sense.
Everyone had a presence on the CN-net, some more elaborate than others depending on their t-mods' complexity. When you wanted to hook up, your avatar contacted whomever you found interesting and exchanged information. If you liked what you saw, you could initiate physical contactâalthough I knew people who maintained intimate relationships through their avatars alone. Mind-fuck was the slang for it. If you didn't like what the avatar offered, you moved on. According to Natty, this saved heaps of time when it came to dating. You knew in a nanosecond if your avatars meshed. In my case, my avatar was a non-interactive flat-file placeholder stating I existed in One Gov's AI queenmind but little else. If a man wanted to get to know me, he had to do it the old-fashioned wayâwhich apparently made me too complicated for some men. Fuck that stupid Russian crime lord anyway.
I took another sip of my drink, except it was empty now. Shit. When had that happened? The man got up and moved in my direction. Uh-oh. Being here was probably a mistake, yet I honestly didn't know what else to do with myself. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin and, deep down, had a petty and vindictive need to punish Petrivâeven though I knew what I did tonight wouldn't matter to him in the least. Even if I regretted it later, I was too angry to care. I wouldn't be the first woman in the world who slept with another man in order to forget someone else. So I turned in the stranger's direction even though I had no interest, crossed my legs to their best advantage, and smiled.
“Hello, Felicia,” said a voice behind me, slightly accented. “I'd hoped to find you alone. I think it's time we talked.”
I whirled in my stool so quickly, I nearly fell off. On the formerly empty stool beside me sat a willowy blonde, hair cascading over her shoulders.
Monique Vaillancourt. My mother.
Poised on the edge of her stool, she wore a lavender dress-suit that hit mid-thigh and managed to look remarkably crisp given the late hour. There were large diamond studs in her ears and an enormous emerald ring on the middle finger of her right hand. When she smiled, I caught gleaming white teeth. Her face was perfectâunlined and flawlessâbut her green eyes looked hardened by time and experience. I couldn't believe this extravagantly gorgeous creature was my mother.
“What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same, but neither of us would reveal the whole answer,” she said in that accented voice. Portuguese, I guessed. She met the bartender's eye and a moment later had a drink identical to what I'd downed earlier. She sipped and looked surprised. “Sweet. I wouldn't have expected that.”
“Maybe Roy didn't include that in his reports.”
“I'm sure he did, but not everything the man recorded was interesting or relevant.”
“Where is he now?” I made myself ask.
Monique frowned, though it didn't mar her perfect face. “Reassigned after Denver. He failed so spectacularly, he may have been fired. He may even be dead. I'm not certain.”
Her cold disregard made me shiver. The man who'd been my world for almost a year was simply a data collection tool to her, and not a very good one.
She set down the glass and looked at me. Or rather, studied me. Her green eyes, so like my own, took in every detail from head to toe, examining me as I did her. At last, she gestured at me in a dismissive sweep. “I've seen this countless times, in variations not worth mentioning and some that far surpass anything you might become. I know every aspect of who you are and there is nothing you could do that would surprise me. And yet, here you sitâthe original. You are the child I actually birthed, yet didn't have a single hand in shaping. Part of me can't help but be amazed at what I created and set free into the world.”
“With my father,” I reminded her, in case she thought she'd made me all on her own.
“I understand he's unwell. Nerves, the reports said. That's unfortunate. Such a handsome man, and charming as sin. When we met⦔ She smiled at a memory. “I don't think I could help but fall a little bit in love with him.”
I stared at her, stunned by her callousnessâfirst toward me, then my father. “He still loves you.”