The Rockers' Babies (The Rocker... Series) (17 page)

“I’ve already lost everything.” His jaw clenched shut and he leaned his head back against the seat,

glaring off into space.

“What do you mean?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

“I got out of rehab about eight months ago and I decided to take a chance. Tell this girl that I was really into her and all that shit… But then I started using again and she found out. I’ve lost her.”

“You couldn’t get her back if you got clean again? Proved to her that you’re for real this time?” I

reached for his ice cold hand, giving him a little squeeze. “Isn’t this girl important enough to try and fight for?”

He didn’t answer. Just closed his eyes and didn’t open them again until our flight was called. The next

few hours as we flew toward New York he seemed lost in thought and I didn’t want to disturb him. It was

obvious he didn’t feel well. When the plane hit turbulence he threw up in the little bag that the flight

attendant had given him.

When we touched down I was sure that we were going to go our own way, but he stopped me before I

could step outside and hail a cab. “I want to get clean, Dallas. I want to get better.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “I can help you with that.”

I knew a really good rehab upstate. It wasn’t like the ones I was sure he was used to. Where they sat

you down and cuddled you and made you talk about your feelings. There was group therapy and one-on-

one time with the doctors, but the place was run like military boot camp. Liam needed some tough love, not

some pansy paid to hold his hand. I made the call to the administrator as we took a cab from the airport. I had made friends with the guy’s daughter in RN school and she owed me a favor, which her daddy was

going to come through on.

I stayed with Liam through most of the day. Watched as they gave him his room, told him who his

sponsor was, and produced a whole new wardrobe of green fatigues and a white T-shirt for him. Liam told

me that all the other times he had gone into rehab it had been someone else’s decision, which I had guessed at. An addict had to be personally ready to get better before he could actually start recovering fully. He also told me that I was the first person to stay with him on his first day.

“They usually just drop me off and head off to get back to their lives. Not even Marissa would come

with me. Wroth wouldn’t allow it.” His gaze wouldn’t meet mine and my heart ached all over again for him.

“Thanks for being here with me, Dee.”

I hadn’t been able to keep from hugging him, even though I wasn’t comfortable with hugs and

affectionate contact. I wrapped my arms around him tight, offering him something I was convinced he had

lost over the years despite his bandmates always being around. I offered him my friendship and he took it

with a desperation that was heart wrenching. His arms came around me, not squeezing me as tight as I was

sure he could have been able to if he weren’t so ill from the detoxing.

“I’ll be back on Sunday,” I promised him. Sundays were family visitation days.

He nodded. “Okay… Can you tell my sister?” he had asked after a small hesitation. “Tell her I’m okay?”

“I’ll get her number from Natalie,” I had assured him, and kissed his cheek before leaving him in his

room.

From there I had gone straight home, which brought me to now and the need to sleep because I had a

twelve-hour shift at the hospital the next day but was unable to turn off my brain.

Damn, I needed a vacation after the weekend I had just had.

My phone made a buzzing noise and I glanced over at where I had plugged it into the charger a few

minutes ago. It had died around lunch time, but I hadn’t really noticed. Other than make the call to get Liam into the rehab, I hadn’t used it at all. No one would worry about me. Linc and Natalie were still in LA until later in the week and if my mother happened to call it wasn’t likely that I would speak to her. Harper was

probably in a passion-induced coma on her honeymoon right now so she wasn’t going to check up on me

any time soon.

With a grunt I picked the phone up. My message box said I had twelve voice mails and the number

thirty was on my text app. When I opened them and saw the first one was from Axton I hit delete on them

all without even reading one. My voicemails went into the trash without bothering to listen.

I was done with Axton Cage.

Chapter 14

Drake

Why is it that when things get rough, that’s when I feel the urge to drink the most?

Honestly, I still have times when I want to reach for a bottle. Angel might be my life line, but she

doesn’t completely stop the cravings. My love for her, and the knowledge of how shitty my life would be

without her, was what kept me from reaching for the alcohol though.

I probably should have found a meeting close by, but I couldn’t leave Angel and Jesse or the rest of my

family. They would have understood, but I wouldn’t have. My sister-in-law was lying unconscious in a

hospital bed in ICU. Even though we knew the cause for her reaction to the anesthesia—an electrolyte

deficiency—she was still not waking up.

It was tearing Jesse apart and with Angel pregnant and looking exhausted, I couldn’t help but put

myself in his shoes. How would I handle it if Lana was where Layla was right now? Would I be able to

cope? Or would I be in a bar somewhere? I liked to think it was the former rather than the latter, but I

honestly couldn’t say for sure. Of course we had gone through something just as scary when Angel had lost

our first baby, but this thing with Layla was twice as terrifying.

At the moment, Jesse was upstairs helping with the feeding of the twins. Emmie was with him, so Lana

had wanted to sit with her sister during ICU visiting hours. I couldn’t understand why we weren’t allowed

back with her at all times, but the rules were the rules in ICU and not even Em had been able to make them

bend them for us.

Angel sat in the chair on the right side of Layla’s bed, holding her hand and talking quietly to her. “Your boys are so beautiful, Layla. They look so much like Jesse right now. All bald and angry looking. They

don’t keep their eyes open for very long, so I can’t tell if they have your eyes or their daddy’s. I’m so

jealous that you have boys. I wouldn’t change having this girl for anything, but it makes me want a son

too.”

I stood behind her, aching to hold her and take all of the heartache she was feeling away. But I was

powerless to do that. I had barely been able to convince her to go home each night so that she could get a

little rest, and only then because I had to remind her that our daughter needed the rest more than she did. So I just stood there, watching Layla’s chest rise and fall with each breath she took.

She was pale, her hair limp around her shoulders. The skin on her left hand, where the IV was, had

bruises because her last two IV sites had collapsed. The constant beep-beep-beep of the heart monitor was

both soothing and annoying in the same instant.

“You know, there’s a nurse in the NICU who has been watching Jesse closely.” Angel’s statement had

me turning my gaze from Layla to her. I raised a brow but she ignored me. Something she had been doing a

lot of the last day. Damn it! “She’s blonde and all kinds of happy. Especially when your husband goes in to see your boys. You’d better wake the fuck up, sis, and tell her to keep her eyes to herself.”

“What are you doing?” I demanded quietly.

“Giving her a reason to wake up,” Angel said with a shrug. “We’ve just been coddling her for the last

two days. Maybe if we piss her off she will wake up and take charge of her life again.”

As ideas went it wasn’t the worst one I had heard. Actually, it was the only one anyone had offered in

the last forty-eight hours. Sighing, I leaned back against the wall and let Angel continue to talk to her sister without interrupting again.

She was pissed off at me and I still wasn’t completely sure why. Cole, her father, had called to check up

on her and Layla as well as the babies. Cole Steel was trying to be the man he should have been over twenty years ago. He and Lana had a decent relationship now, and the fact that he was going to be a grandfather

had humbled him… A little.

The call had also revealed that the meeting with Bethany, the producer’s assistant who had texted me

about it last week, was also a hoax. Angel was convinced that the woman was trying to seduce me, but I

wasn’t so sure. Everyone at work knew that my wife was it for me and I didn’t even look at other women.

Ever. Fuck, I barely knew what this Bethany even looked like.

My protesting that Bethany was harmless had pushed a stressed out Angel over the edge and she had

been pissed at me ever since. She didn’t talk to me unless she had to. Thankfully she didn’t push me away

when I tried to touch her, though. If she had started doing that I might have actually found a bar and been two bottles in by now.

A few minutes later the door opened and a nurse stuck her head around it. “Visiting hours are over for

now, Mrs. Stevenson. You can come back in a few hours.”

I held out my hand to help Angel up. She slipped hers into mine without hesitation and I pulled her up

beside me before brushing a kiss over her lips. “Don’t be mad at me,” I whispered.

“Don’t defend stupid bitches,” she whispered back, but there was a small smile teasing at her lips. “I

love you, dummy.”

Some of my tension eased. “Love you more.”

Layla

There was a beep-beep-beep sound that was annoying the hell out of me.

I moaned, not wanting to wake up, and reached out to nudge Jesse’s shoulder. He needed to turn that

stupid alarm off or I was going to punch him. But I couldn’t feel Jesse beside me and reluctantly opened

my eyes.

I blinked as I focused on the room around me. I was in a bed that wasn’t nearly as comfortable as the

one we slept in at home. There were rails up on either side. Beside the bed was a machine that was

producing the beeping noise that was still irritating me. I shifted to get a better look at it only to have my entire body explode in pain.

My abdomen felt as if it had been split open and I had this sudden empty feeling where I should have

felt stretched and full. My hands went to my stomach and a cry of distress that had nothing to do with pain filled the room. Where were my babies?

“Jesse?” I called, but he wasn’t in the room. Where the fuck was Jesse? “JESSE!”

The door across the room opened and a woman with her dark hair pulled into a ponytail stuck her head

around the door. “You’re awake,” she said with a smile. “Welcome back,” she greeted as she walked into

the room.

“Where’s my husband?” I demanded. “Where are my babies?”

“Hubby is out in the waiting room where he has been since you were brought in. Those babies of yours

are doing remarkably well and might even be moved down to the nursery this evening.” The nurse was

cheerful and that just made me want to punch her in the face.

I was in pain and she was all smiles? I was freaking out but she was more interested in checking my

blood pressure. “I want my husband. Now.”

“Of course. You can see him in just a few minutes. First I have to get your vitals. Are you thirsty? I’ll

get you some ice water. Or would you rather have something else? Sprite maybe?”

“I don’t fucking care! I. Want. My. Husband. NOW!” I shouldn’t have yelled. It only made me hurt

worse, but I was desperate to see Jesse. I needed him and he had to be going out of his mind with worry

over me.

My yelling caused the door to open again and another nurse stuck her head in. “Everything okay in

here, Mrs. Thorton?”

“She wants her husband, Vanessa,” my nurse told her. “If you could peek your head out and let him

know she’s awake?”

“Sure… It’s good to see you awake, Mrs. Thorton,” the other nurse commented. “You had us all

worried for a minute there.”

I frowned after the woman. “What’s she talking about?”

“You had an unusual reaction to the anesthesia that they had to give you,” my nurse informed me.

“You’ve been asleep for a while… About two days now.” She wrinkled her nose. “How are you feeling on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst?”

“What?” I demanded, dazed by her statement that I had been out for two days and then quickly

followed by my pain level. “I’m in some pain.” More like I was in agony, but that didn’t matter at the

moment. If I told this perky girl that I was barely able to see through the haze of pain she would drug my

ass up and I wouldn’t be able to see Jesse right away.

“Would you like anything for it? Your doctor has a few things that you can take for any pain level, but

it’s your choice.”

“Maybe later.” Maybe never. I wanted her gone.

When the door opened again Jesse flew into the room at the speed of sound. All the pain I was feeling

was pushed to the back of my mind as his arms wrapped around me. His face buried in my neck. “Fuck,

woman.” He groaned. “I thought I was never going to see those chocolate eyes again.”

I lifted my arms to wrap around him but found an IV in my left arm. “Are you okay? Are the babies

okay? Where’s Lucy?”

“Shh.” He pulled back to look down at me and covered my mouth with his hand. “Just shut up and let

me look at you, okay?” I nodded and he dropped his hand. Those ever-changing eyes were a kaleidoscope

of browns as I met his wet gaze. ‘Gods, you are so fucking beautiful.” He brushed a kiss over my lips. “I

love you.”

Some of my anxiety was fading away and I leaned my head against his chest. “What have I missed?” I