The Rocker Who Wants Me (The Rocker... Series) (5 page)

Needing to get up and stretch, I stood and lifted my arms above my head as I surveyed the rest of the room. Everyone was quiet, as they had mostly been over the last six days. Marissa was sitting with her head in Wroth’s lap as he ran his long, thick fingers through her hair. The look on his face was tortured and for the hundredth time since I’d met both of them I wondered if there was something going on. Marissa seemed so innocent, and Wroth never touched her like a lover, but the way they looked at each other when they assumed no one else was watching was full of secrets and longing.

Across from Wroth sat Devlin, Zander and Natalie. The rockers didn’t look all the worse for wear, and I assumed it was from all the years of touring and the unpredictable sleep schedule that went with it. Natalie, who had been going home at night with Linc to get a few hours of sleep in her own bed, looked more tired than they did. Still, Natalie had been working her ass off with Emmie.

Natalie was scheduled to go on tour with OtherWorld in March and for the last few weeks she had been trying to make friends with the band. She had seemed to get the closest with Zander friend-wise, but I knew that she was crushing on Devlin in the worst way, which was why she tended to hide it behind disdain for the long-haired, sexy drummer.

A few seats down from the three sat Gabriella Moreitti. She was alone, as she had been before and after her cousin had arrived. The chick had been quiet, and I wasn’t yet sure if it was because she didn’t want to draw attention to herself from Emmie or anyone else, or if she was just so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice anyone else was in the room.

On the only couch in the room sat Emmie, who was finally taking a breather from running her ass off all day long. She sat in the middle of Axton and her husband. Both had an arm around her shoulders, as they whispered back and forth. Nik, seeing my eyes were on the three of them, paused before giving me a grin and a wink. I found the energy to smile back, because there was no way I couldn’t not smile at Nik Armstrong if he was granting me one of his sinfully gorgeous smiles.

Drake and Linc weren’t present at the moment. Linc still had to work, but he was stopping by every night to check in and take Natalie home. It made me feel better that he was with her and could protect her from all the grabby hands of the crazies outside. Drake only spent a few hours each day with us. He didn’t like to leave Lana alone with Neveah and Mia for too long. Lana, who thankfully hadn’t had too horrible of an episode with post-partum after the baby had been born was, however, fighting some anemia issues and tired out easily.

Finally, my gaze fell on Harris who was sitting by the closest window to the door, staring off into space. He had a tormented look on his face and I couldn’t help but want to reach out to the boy. I glanced at my watch and then back at him. Making my decision, I grabbed his elbow and tugged him up and out the door with me.

“Where are we going?” he asked quietly as I headed to the double doors that kept us out of the ICU ward.

“You haven’t been back to see him since you got here.” A look of apprehension crossed Harris’s face but he didn’t protest as I punched in the code that was used to unlock nearly every door in the building. With my hand still on his arm, I pulled him through the door and up to the nurses’ station.

The nurse whom I’d come to be thankful for over the last few days was on duty tonight and I offered her a tired smile as we stood in front of her. Her gaze lifted from where she had been watching the heart monitors and smiled back. “I know we’re a few minutes early, but Harris hasn’t gotten to visit with his uncle yet and with everyone else wanting a few minutes he probably won’t get to see him when visiting hours do start at six.”

The nurse hesitated before waving us on our way. I gave her a salute in thanks and turned Harris around. Liam was the most critical patient in ICU at the moment, which was saying a lot as there were several other patients who were basically knocking on death’s door. Being the most critical meant that Liam’s room was right in front of the nurses’ station. The glass door opened soundlessly as we stepped right in front of it and I tugged Harris inside.

The two of us stood beside Liam’s bed, and I felt a small whisper of relief as I noticed that he had a little more color today. His vitals were improving, but he still hadn’t woken up. Several MRIs had shown that there didn’t appear to be any noticeable brain damage, and with the brain activity lately, that was further proof that his body was trying to heal itself, which was why he hadn’t yet woken up.

Beside me, Harris was looking anywhere but at Liam. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders. At fourteen, Harris was almost taller than me. I’d watched him closely over the last few days, and knew that he was the clone of his father. Devlin and Harris were incredibly close considering the rocky start that the two had had as father and son. A start that Liam had told me all about.

“It’s okay, Harris. He’s going to be okay.” For the first time in six days I was finally starting to believe that myself. “Why don’t you talk to him?”

With his eyes still averted, Harris cleared his throat. I knew that Harris and Liam weren’t close, and it was because of the hard feelings that Devlin and Liam still carried. I was surprised that either were able to tour with the other feeling the way they did about the past. “He was almost my dad… Did you know that?”

I gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Yeah, Harris. Liam told me all about that.”

My answer surprised him enough to make him look at me. The tears in his eyes made my heart clench for him. For Liam, too. Because for a whole nine months, Liam had thought that Harris was going to be his child. Liam and Tawny had been high school sweethearts. She’d been by his side through all his ups and downs. When OtherWorld was formed she would follow them around from gig to gig until their original manager had discovered them and gotten them an amazing record deal. That was when the real Tawny had come out. She had only been along for the ride, or so Liam had told me.

While his back was turned, Tawny had been sleeping with anyone who would touch her. And if they didn’t want to touch her—cough, cough, Devlin—then she got him loaded and seduced him. When Tawny found out she was pregnant, she had known that the baby wasn’t Liam’s but she pretended otherwise. It wasn’t until the hospital had accidently done a blood typing on Harris that it became clear that Liam couldn’t possibly be the father. Harris had a rare blood type—Devlin’s blood type.

“My mom told me all about Liam when I was six. Before she died…” He sucked in a breath and I watched his throat bob up and down as he swallowed hard. “She loved him, ya know?”

I tried not to grimace, because Tawny had only loved herself from what I could tell, having used Harris as a kind of ATM when it came to getting money from Devlin. Torturing Liam for years with things that hadn’t been his fault. “Did she?”

He wasn’t as good as me when it came to hiding his grimace. “No. I’ve just been lying to myself for the last few days. My mom didn’t love anyone. She was a crazy whore.”

“Harris…”

“Sorry, Dallas.” He shook his head. “I’m just stating the truth. My mom had me because she thought it would keep Liam anchored to her. She wanted to be the famous rock star’s wife. When he started losing interest, she tricked my dad into having sex with her. He wouldn’t marry her any more than Liam would and I got tossed back and forth between a woman that claimed to love me in public, but treated me like a dog behind closed doors; to my dad who didn’t know how to handle me at first because he was still a kid himself.” His gaze went to Liam, lying so motionless in the bed. “Before Dad got the hang of it, and despite all the bad blood I had caused between two best friends by being born, Liam still seemed to love me. He bought me presents, and talked to me like I wasn’t to blame…”

His confession about how his mother had treated him brought back some bad memories of my own childhood and I couldn’t help but feel a little closer to the kid. “Honey, you weren’t. None of what happened back then was your fault,” I said, rushing to reassure him. “And Liam, he’s a really good guy. I’ve found that out first hand recently. He would never blame you for anything that happened between him and your mom and dad. He cares about you, kiddo.”

Aquamarine eyes lifted to mine, shining with a mixture of denial and hope. “When Liam started getting into the drugs more and more, Dad wouldn’t let me near Liam. Then when things started getting worse, I thought it was because of me and my mom. She told me that he really started hitting them harder when I was born.”

Stupid bitch. She had been filling her son’s head full of all kinds of stupid things before she had died. I wondered if Devlin knew how much guilt she had heaved onto his shoulders. For the first time in my life I was glad that another human being was dead. If she hadn’t been, I might have sent her to hell personally. “Harris, I think you should talk to your dad about this, but I want to tell you something first, okay?” He nodded after a brief pause and I gave him the biggest smile I could muster because I was so exhausted. “You weren’t to blame for anything Liam does. Not then, not now, not ever. He loves you, Harris. He loved you when he thought you were his, and he couldn’t turn that off afterwards. And I can see that you love him too.”

“Yeah, I love him. He’s not my dad, but I love him.” He cleared his throat again. “But I never told him.”

“Maybe you should tell him now.” I nudged him toward the bed. “You tell him what’s on your mind.” When his face filled with embarrassment, I stepped away. “I’ll give you a few minutes so don’t worry about telling him how you really feel. Okay?”

As I stepped through the sliding glass door, I found Devlin and Marissa standing at the nurse’s station watching us. Devlin’s jaw was clenched as he watched his son over my shoulder. “He okay?”

I nodded. “He’s got a lot of guilt, Devlin. Tawny filled his mind with all kinds of crap.” When his startled eyes landed on me, I bit my lip. “Liam told me.”

Marissa gasped. “He told you? He never tells anyone. He wouldn’t even talk about it with me.”

I shrugged and glanced back at Harris through the glass wall. He was holding Liam’s hand now. His lips were moving but I couldn’t hear anything he was saying. “It was nothing against you, Marissa. Liam just needed to get everything off his chest and I was there.” I was the only one there the entire time he had been in rehab. It had pissed me off that they had all seemed to give up on him. Even Marissa. But with everything that had happened over the last six days, I couldn’t hold onto my anger at them for deserting him. It might have just been the push that everyone in Liam Bryant’s life had needed.

Axton

The breathing tube was out. That meant something good, right? Emmie and Dallas both seemed to take that as a good sign so I was going to do the same. The doctors had taken the tube out the night before, and apparently Liam was breathing on his own. Gabriella had curled up into a broken little ball in a chair and cried herself to sleep afterwards and I’d been torn between wanting to offer her some form of comfort and leaving her alone.

Every few hours the ICU would let two of us back at a time. We couldn’t stay long, because everyone wanted to see him, and we were only allotted half an hour at the most. Gabriella always found a way to get back there, even if it was only for a second or two. I didn’t go in to see Liam as often as the others did, though. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, but that I didn’t know what to do when I did go in. I didn’t dare touch him, and every time I had opened my mouth to say something my mind would go blank and I would just stand there with my mouth gaping open for a few minutes before finally leaving.

I wanted to tell him how much I’d come to love him and my other bandmates over the last fifteen years we had been together. Or how sorry I was for turning my back on him when he was at his lowest. All of the things Dallas had thrown at me weeks ago came back to haunt me over and over again.

Emmie sat down on the hard couch next to me and wrapped her arm around my waist before pillowing her head on my chest. I glanced around for Nik and found him standing in the corner closest to the vending machines. He was talking with Drake and Wroth, but when he saw his wife cuddle up to me, he stopped. I gave him a helpless look and he shook his head, and with a grin he turned his attention back to the conversation.

I breathed a sigh of relief, because I didn’t want to get Nik pissed at me, but I sure as hell didn’t want to turn down some cuddle time with Emmie. Having gotten the green light from Nik, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer. “Everything okay?” I asked quietly enough so that no one would hear.

“Just tired.”

“Baby number two giving you problems? ‘Cause I have no problem taking you to the hospital again.” I was teasing her, but that night that Emmie had passed out in my car still broke me out in a cold sweat every time I thought about it. This woman was my best friend in the world. She had been the first person to ever love me for me and I loved her more than life. That night I’d thought I was going to lose her and that just wasn’t a possibility for me or my sanity.