The Rocker Who Wants Me (The Rocker... Series) (26 page)

The trip to the drugstore took longer than expected. By the time we got back to the arena it was getting dark. Glancing at my phone I saw that it was less than an hour before OtherWorld went on stage. I also had five missed text messages from Axton and one from Emmie.

I didn’t know what to say to either of them in a text so I ignored the messages and put my phone away. I was still an emotional mess and I had thrown up twice while I had taken three
more
tests before we had left the drugstore. Just to be sure.

Linc was with me every step of the walk back to the bus where I changed clothes again because I’d gotten vomit on my shirt. When I was clean I went searching for Axton. Knowing that he would probably be with Emmie getting the stage set up for the closing show tonight I headed straight for the main stage.

But I didn’t get past the second line of buses before I saw Axton. My heart leapt at the sight of him standing there talking with Liam. As I walked closer I saw that they weren’t alone. Gabriella was with them and she was visibly upset. She had tears streaming down her face and she was spitting Italian out fast and feverishly.

Liam just stood there and watched her with what appeared to be dead eyes at first glance with the light of the street lamps that were starting to come on, but at a closer look just masked what he was feeling. I was pretty sure he didn’t understand half of what she was screaming at him, because I sure as hell didn’t understand a word.

“I just want to be with you!” Gabriella switched to English on those last words, her small body shaking with emotion.

I stopped, not wanting to interrupt the emotional moment. I might not like the chick, but I wasn’t going to embarrass her right then. Liam flinched then shrugged his shoulders like the douchebag I’d assumed he was the first time I’d met him, but now knew that he wasn’t. “I don’t want to be with you, Brie. Move on. I already have.”

“You don’t mean that, Liam. You can’t.”

“Go, Brie. You’re just making a fool of yourself. We don’t belong together, we never did. Go home and live the life you’re supposed to lead without me there to mess it up for you.” He turned, ready to walk away—or limp away in his case.

“What the fuck do you mean, the life I’m supposed to lead? I don’t have a life without you.” Liam kept walking and her tears fell faster. “Liam, don’t,” she pleaded brokenly.

His shoulders stiffened, but he kept walking. I remained where I was as I watched Axton’s reaction to what looked like the end of Liam and Gabriella. His gaze followed Liam as he walked away, his jaw clenched as if he was pissed off at his friend. Why would he be mad at Liam? If anything I had expected him to be happy about them being over. Gabriella was going to be prime for the taking after this…

With a sob Gabriella threw herself against Axton’s chest. He hadn’t been expecting it and stumbled back a few steps before he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. The sight was like a stab to the heart. As I’d stood there, my heart in my throat, I’d been waiting for it to happen. For one of them to wrap their arms around each other. But fuck, now that I was actually seeing it I wanted to wipe that picture from my mind. It hurt too much to watch him comfort her.

My hurt at seeing them like this, on top of all the other emotional bullshit I’d gone through in the last few hours, brought out the bitch in me. It was my coping mechanism that had never failed me before, so I let her out with a vengeance. Clearing my throat loudly, I took the last few steps that would bring me into Axton’s line of sight.

As soon as he saw me he seemed to jerk as if he’d been stabbed, and took two steps back from a still sobbing Gabriella who tried to cling. He shoved her hands away and stepped around her. “It’s not what you think, I swear.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I saw. Liam broke the troll bitch’s heart, so she threw herself at you. And of course you were all too willing to offer comfort. Seems like a pattern. One I’m getting pretty fucking tired of.”

“No,” Axton said, shaking his head. “I wasn’t comforting her. Damn it, she just threw herself against me. I didn’t want her to fall.”

“I’m sure. Why should she fall when big, strong Axton Cage is always willing to catch her? It’s what happened the first time around, then again back in October, so I should be used to it. Right?” I glanced over his shoulder to find that Gabriella was walking away. Her shoulders were still shaking with her sobs, but she didn’t give two shits that she had just ripped my heart apart.

That bitch knew that Axton would drop anything and everything if she wanted him to. She didn’t care that when he did that it was a slap to my face, my pride. My fucking heart. And it was always going to be that way, because Axton Cage was in love with her, not me. I was nothing to him and I would never mean as much to him as she did.

“Dallas, baby, just listen…”

“I get it, Ax. Really I do. She had you first and she will always have you. But I can’t live with being second. I won’t live like that. For a little while I thought maybe I could deal with it, but I was just lying to myself.” I swallowed hard, not wanting him to see that I was about to literally break into a million pieces at his feet. “This won’t ever work the way I want it to.”

“You don’t know fucking shit!” he exploded and I found myself taking a quick step back at the rage shining at me from his eyes, not because I was scared he would hurt me, but because this was a side of Ax I’d never witnessed and it was more than a little intense. “Yes, I met her first, but it wasn’t her. It was never her.” He was yelling and each time I took a step back he took another forward, chasing after me. “She was just the chick I hid behind because I was too much of a pussy to go after what I thought I wanted back then. Trust me, sweetheart. It. Wasn’t. Fucking. Her. I thought I was in love with Emmie!” He kept coming and I felt my heart clench at his words. “I probably still would have been delusional about that, loving my best friend in the world from the shadows, while she lived her happy ever after with a man I love and respect.”

I shook my head in denial. “You aren’t in love with Emmie.” I’d watched Axton and Emmie closely for the last month. I knew for sure that what those two had was more like a brother and sister kind of relationship than anything else. While there was no blood relation between the two of them, Ax and Emmie were closer than any siblings. Over the years I’d seen the same thing with Emmie and Jesse, Drake, and Shane. They made up a crazy family, but the love that they all shared was something I’d only shared with Harper, Linc and Lana.

“Yeah. I know that. Now. It wasn’t so clear a few years ago. Not until you fell into my life and opened my eyes. I was in love with you from the moment I kissed your perfect lips, Dallas. But I was still an idiot back then. I thought that if I played it cool, like I always do, that I wouldn’t have to admit anything. Who wants to admit something that embarrassing? That I inked some toxic bitch’s name on my skin to hide from something that wasn’t even real? Because that was what happened.” He grabbed the leather bracelet off his wrist, the one I’d never questioned because it had kept
that
tattoo out of sight. “Last October I realized that this one stupid mistake was keeping me from you more than anything else. Some stupid ink was putting up more walls than I would ever hope to break down. So I got it taken off.”

My eyes focused on his now bare wrist and all the air seemed to suddenly be trapped in my lungs. It was gone. Completely. There wasn’t even the slightest hint of what had once been there. My jealousy suddenly deflated and all I could do was stare. “Since…” I licked my lips. “Since October?”

Some of his own anger was starting to evaporate. “Yeah, baby. Since October. The same time I got the Prince Albert for you.” He stepped closer, his hands going to my face to cup my jaw while his thumb rubbed over my cheeks. “I love you, Dallas. No one but you. I never, not for a minute, loved Gabriella. And you more than anyone know that while I love Em, I’m not
in
love with her.”

I had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation for the words that I was hearing come out of his mouth. Words that I had been hoping to hear for so long now. His confession, on top of all the other things that had gone on that day were confusing me and I wasn’t sure why I didn’t open my mouth and tell him how I felt right then.

When I didn’t speak, but stood there staring at him, Axton laughed a little forcefully. “Okay then. Good talk. I have to get going. I take the stage in like ten minutes.”

Unable to find my voice, I simply nodded. My brain was trying to process everything that had just happened while my heart was yelling at me that I was an idiot and to tell him. Tell him. Tell. Him. I loved him. After another full minute of just staring at each other he nodded, kissed my lips quick and hard, and walked away.

Dallas

I stood there for five full minutes before my head caught up with everything. Axton’s words were on repeat in my brain and my heart was sobbing with happiness.

I love you, Dallas.

I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath before doing what I should have done when he walked away. I ran after him.

The man I loved had just offered me the only thing I’d ever really wanted and I’d just stood there and watched him walk away… Without telling him I loved him back. Fuck, I was stupid, but at least I had a good excuse. Damn pregnancy brain had my head cloudy and making things take longer to compute than normal.

Which was another thing I needed to tell Ax. We were pregnant. I’d been so disappointed when I’d first seen the pregnancy tests, and I would have walked away and not looked back because of the pain I’d felt at seeing the negative signs. I owed Linc a lot for making me stay a little longer to check the tests again. Five full minutes after taking the first three tests they had shown positive. And the two after that? Positive. And the three after that? All positive.

I was pregnant, and hormonal. And so happy I was pretty sure that it was illegal in some countries.

Of course I’d messed it up. I’d let any chance of holding onto my greatest happiness walk away without a word. My mother was right. I was stupid. But that only encouraged me to do what I’d always done.

Prove that bitch wrong.

It was completely dark by the time I reached the inside of the arena where the main stage was. Lights were on everywhere but as soon as I stepped inside the arena I knew I was going to have a hard time reaching the front of the crowd to talk to Axton. The stands were full, and the field was overflowing with every one of the hundred thousand plus fans. The band had already taken the stage and Axton was singing their first song of the night.

All around me there were fans on their feet swaying to the music, singing along. There was a small clearing up closer to the stage, but I had learned quickly throughout this entire tour that that only meant one thing. Mosh pit. No way was my pregnant ass going close to a mosh pit. Fans were bouncing, pushing and shoving each other around. I wasn’t going to chance getting to the stage that way.

At first I tried to push through the masses, but everyone was packed in tight. So I was left with only one other option. Swallowing a groan, I tapped on the shoulder of the man in front of me. He turned his head and I pointed upward. With a nod he lifted me easily and I got to experience crowd surfing for the first time ever.

If I hadn’t been so scared that someone was going to drop me I would have actually enjoyed the experience. Hands of all colors and sizes kept me going on a wave and I was quickly pushed to the front of the crowd. Once I was there a bulky security guard lifted me off and I started to run toward the stage.

The security guard’s hand on my wrist stopped me and I turned to glare at him. “I’m with the band.”

He smirked at me. “That’s what they all say. Back of the crowd, sweetheart.”

“Fuck you, dickhead.” I jerked my hand away and started climbing the stage. No way was I going to the back of the crowd when I’d just gotten to where I needed to be.

I was nearly up on the side of the stage when his arms wrapped around my waist and started tugging me back. I kicked out at him from behind. “Let me go, asshole!” I screamed, which got the attention of the two roadies standing on the side of the stage.

They quickly recognized me and one of them rushed over to help me while the other ran out on stage and grabbed Axton. He stopped singing immediately and turned his head, spotting me struggling with the guard, who was now winning the tug of war between him and the roadie who had come to help me.

“What the fuck!” he roared into the mic, making everyone in the crowd stop what they were doing and turn their attention to me. “Let my girl go, you motherfucker.”

It took the guard a moment to realize that Axton was talking to him. When he did he dropped his hold on my waist and I nearly fell. Strong arms wrapped around my middle and pulled me up onto the stage. I was breathing hard from the struggle and tried to catch my breath as I wrapped my arms around him tight.

“Dallas, what are you doing?” Axton demanded, holding the mic away from him, but his voice still carried a little.