The Rock Star Next Door, a Modern Fairytale (47 page)

Jessie blinked. She
clutched the counter before her with one hand and rubbed her eyes
with the other
.  She
turned from the mirror and
gazed about the room. Okay, good, back in the present.
W
hat was the deal? In this life their roles were reversed? She was ma
d at Kyra for abandoning her? F
or running away from their responsibilities to be with the man she loved . . . what was going on here?

Was Karma playing a joke on her? If so, Jessie wasn’t laughing. 

Kyra stood up. She
wobbl
ed a little in her high heels and clutched
the counter
like Jessie had
to steady herself
. Neither of them were used to six inch stiletto heels
.
“You’re worried all the time about us reaching the pinnacle of success. We’ve reached it. Ease up. We’
re on MTV, starring in
our own freakin’
Halloween
special.
” She gestured to their elaborate costumes. “What more do you want?”

Jessie didn’t answer. She wanted them all to stay together. In her mind, they were a family, the fiv
e of them. Her family
.
Her people. The
harder she t
ried to hold on to that spiritual
family
,
the
quicker it
was
all
slipping from
her fingers
.

“
Y
ou ar
e obsessed with control.” Kyra went on, seeming to believe
it was time to unload
whether
Jessie wanted to hear her gripes
or not. “W
ith plannin
g
every detail of your life like a
survivor of the
freakin’
holocaust. Jessie, I care about you, b
ut I can’t live like this anymore. I just can’t. Success is a hollow victory. It doesn’t mean a
frickin’ thing if there is
no
one to go home to at the end of the day.
And I’m sorry, but Jack and the guys are not who I want to go home to.
Mike is everything I
ever wanted. And guess what,
I found him in an unguarded moment. It wasn’
t planned
. It was random. Y
ou
need random and sponta
neous.
You
don’t know how to live for the moment
.
”

“A
nd
not showing up for contracted work is
your idea of
being spontaneous? Try doing it at Burger King, you’ll be fired, bam
.
”  Jessie slapped the counter
to em
phasize her point. “I keep defending you to the others
b
ut you’re pushing yourself
out of this band.
You’re lucky you haven’t been
axe
d
already. Ch
arlie was ready to hire a
model to play your part in this--” She gestured to their gypsy costumes.

“Well, there you go
.
” Kyra made a low bow, sweeping her hand out exp
ansively, “See, it doesn’t
matter
after all
if I’m here or not
--as long as they have
you
!
” 

“Two minutes, ladies.” The stagehand poked his head inside. Jessie watched as Kyra stalked out with
out another word to her. She was
grateful she didn’t have
the opportunity
to speak
her mind
to that selfish bitch
.

Jessie spun about, placing her back to the door
.
She couldn’t fall apart
--not
now. S
he h
ad to go out on the set and perform. S
he couldn’t cry. It would ruin her makeup. S
he c
ouldn’t scream as she wanted to. S
he couldn’t go out there and slap Kyra silly.

“Ms. Kelly.” The attendant intoned from the doorway.

“I need a few minutes.” She managed in a
gravelly
voice. “Please, just
five more minutes.”  She spoke to the image behind her in the mirror. The
woman nodded
.

Focus
.
Jessie commanded herself.
The Sorcerer, tall, sexy, sensual, blue eyes hypnotic . . . 
She imagined Lex, instead of the male model that had been used in the video, a mere shadow compared to the
true wizard of her soul. She imagined
the
true sorcerer who
wooed her into his lair, her Lex dressed in the black flowing robes, his eyes ablaze with passion, bec
koning her to come to him. I
t was
a
delicious
fantasy
. She reveled in the guide
d image, attempting to lose herself in it so she could go out on stage and perform the song with that imagery firmly in her mind
.

“Jess
.
” Jack stood in the doorway. “Are you okay?” His green
eyes, so like her own, prob
ed into her soul.

Jessie entered his open arms. She was
comforted by the sixth sense they shared as twins, the uncanny ability
they had of
discern
ing
pain in the other.

“W
hat’s wrong
?
”

“Kyra and I just had an argument
.”

“
What
did she say
?” Jack insist
ed
.
“Spill it.”

“She said
I lost Lex because I’m a coward. Because I don’t live in the moment, like she does.
And that I’m a control freak, I drive all of you too hard.
”

“That b
itch
.
Screw her. Hell, somebody’s gotta steer this plane or we’ll all crash and burn.
”

“She’s right.” Jessie admitted. “I am a
coward.” 

It made sense now.
She was punishing Lex for so
mething he did c
enturies ago
, in a past life
.
For something he didn’t even remember.
She didn’t know how it all turned out b
ack then.
Lex said he lost her
; she died. That’s all he remembered of their past love. Maybe she died before he had a chance to
make everything
right
in that life, and that was the reason
he was trying
so hard
to reclaim her in this life.

She was a coward. Jessie
wanted
to be with
Lex, but maybe, just maybe, she was exp
ecting him to be too perfect in this life; t
o promise her a happily ever after
in a time and place where
that kind of relationship
didn’t exist
any longer
.

“Look, we have to go onstage.
I’ll deal with it later, okay?”
Jessie told her brother.

The look in his
eyes told he
r he knew better, she was
hurt
ing, and he wanted to help her fix it
. “They’ll wait. We’re the stars, r
emember.”

“She’s leaving the band, Jack. She’s leaving us.
”

“Big surprise.” He scoffed. “Nice of her to tell you just before stage time
.
”

“She didn’t mean to, I forced her. I was trying to get her to realize t
he responsibilities we all have to StarSign,
MTV and t
he upcoming
winter
tour.”

“Don’t waste your breath. It’s a relief, trust me. For all of us.”

“S
he’s pregnant. She’s going off to Las Vegas Friday to get married, whether the shoot is
finished here or not. She’s
leaving us,
for real, just
like that
.
”

“I’m sorry, Jess. I’m sorry you’re hurt over this.” Jack brushed her arm in a soothing gesture.
“
But it’s not a surprise to rest of us.
We’ve been expecting this for a long time.”

Jessie studied her brother’s eyes, realizing
he was sober at the moment, a rarity
. “
Jack . . . ? H
ave you guys been conspiring . . .
?” S
he couldn’t say it. It was too nasty.

“I wouldn’t call it that. We’ve just prepared ourselves for the inevitable.
Max and Charlie saw this coming. They
hired a model. If Kyra doesn’t finish her contract with MTV, we’ll just reshoot the scenes with the model in her place. Don’t try to tape us
all back together again. L
et go, let her go. It’s time, Jess.”

The director appeared
at
the doorway
to give them an impatient look
.

“Okay, w
e’re ready.” Jessie assured him and took her brother’s arm.

As they made it through the studio to the set, Jessie passed the amplifiers behind
Kyra
, and Jack grabbed her elbow, stopping her. Silently, he pointed to the cords behind
Kyra
, the one leading from her instrument to the speakers.

Her instrum
ent was not plugged in.  She would appear to be
play
ing but no sound would come from her speaker
. The studio, and no doubt the guys,
p
lanned it that way. Kyra
didn’t know the new music, having missed so many rehearsals
and
recording sessions, so
another guitarist had been hired to fill in her tracks on the CD. Kyra didn’t realize that she was being given the opportunity to appear on the special with the rest of the band, a las
t act of goodwill on their part.

Jessie felt a surge of anger. They were
all
trying to include her, but Kyra
didn’t even want to be here
.
So be it
.
Jessie took her place at the head of the band, slipped the guitar strap over her shoulder and stepp
ed up to the microphone.

Chapter Twenty Three

Burning
, searing
pain. Robbing her of her breath, of her life.

Jessie sat up in her bed, gasping desperately for that sweet, life giving air that had been denied her lungs for too long. Duncan, her Scottie, nuzzled her with his wet nose.

Panting,
fighting that sick
, numb feeling in her limbs, Jessie
flung the covers asi
de
and snapped on the light next to her bed.

It felt as if she’d just been snatched from death. She was suffocating in her sleep. This was the second time in the past week she’d awakened like this, her lungs starved for air, and her heart racing as she tried to push back the fear.

Jessie s
w
ung her legs
over the side of the bed and sat forward with her head cradled in her han
ds. It was unbelievable. She kept
dreaming about dying. She was dying in that revolting dream.
Painfully so. And yet, she couldn’t really tell what was happening to her in the drea
m. There was the agonizing pain and yet
she couldn’t breath
e. It was like s
he was
suffocating, drowning or having the life crushed
from her.

Sh
e gasped aloud and pushed her bangs off her forehead
as she tried to remember more. Lex
had been
bending over her
in the dream
. Only he
wasn’
t Lex, he
was Gaston
, the troubadour. He was stone faced. H
is eyes we
re liquid. He was holding her across his lap and
pleading with her not to leave him. Jessie sat up straight and grabbed her cell phone. She pushed the button and was about to press speed dial when Jack came rushing into her room.

“
What’s the deal?” His face was
like chalk
. He looked as if he’d just witnes
sed her death. “Jess, are you okay?” His voice trembled
.