The Road to L.A. (30 page)

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Carly walked through the front door of her parent’s house, laden with a suitcase and carry-on bag.  Lydia appeared from the kitchen in her bathrobe, a look of surprise on her face. 

              “Baby, you’re home early.”

              “Couldn’t sleep?” Carly asked knowingly. 

Lydia nodded and took a sip of her tea. 

              “Why are you home already?” she reiterated.  “And so early in the morning?”

The grandfather clock in the living room chimed to indicate the 4:00 hour.

Lydia saw the hurt expression on her daughter’s face and asked, “Did you and Jake have a fight?”

Carly’s throat began to constrict as she fought back against fresh tears, and she dropped her bag to the floor as if she were releasing a heavy burden she could no longer shoulder.  Lydia saw the tears and stepped forward to embrace her daughter.  Carly laid her head against her mother’s chest and began to cry uncontrollably while Lydia patted and stroked her daughter's back.  After Carly could weep no more, they both sat at the kitchen table.  Lydia rose to make Carly some hot tea and waited until she had calmed down enough to be able to talk.

              "You wanna tell me about it?" Lydia asked.

Carly sighed wistfully and then replied, "Jake's changed, mom.  He's not the same anymore."

              "Yeah?  How so?" Lydia inquired.

              "He's just become this selfish person with no regard for anyone's feelings.  And also self-absorbed, if I might add." 

Lydia handed a mug full of chamomile tea to Carly and sat down across from her. 

              "I guess fame will do that to you," Lydia remarked.  "It's a shame.  Very disappointing." 

Carly shrugged and said, "It is what it is, right?"

Lydia took a sip of her tea and set it down.  Then she cast a warm, gentle gaze in Carly's direction.     

              "What?" Carly finally asked.

              "Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you?  Because I am.  Such a beautiful, smart, and caring person you've become."

Carly had no idea what all this had to do with the trouble she had just relayed to her mother.  Lydia noticed the bewildered expression on her daughter's face.

              "I just want you to realize that you have so much going for you, and you have a bright future ahead of you.  Don't let one person effect you this much.  Jake's not the be all and end all."

Carly nodded and replied, "Yeah, you're right." 

Her tone was still somber but she knew this pain wouldn't last forever.

              "Besides, sweetie, everything always has a way of working itself out."

Again, Carly nodded.  She then yawned and suddenly realized just how tired she was after the events of last night.  Grabbing her bag off the floor, she excused herself.

              "I'm really tired.  I'll see you in the morning," Carly said to her mother.

She started to leave the kitchen and halted.  She turned and said, "Thanks, mom."

              "Of course, baby.  Sweet dreams."

The next morning, Carly felt a little better.  But it quickly hit her that she would have to confront Amanda about her strange behavior.  When Carly called Amanda’s house, she found out from the twin’s mother that Amanda had been working at the music store and would be there until early evening.  So, hours later, she was on her way to the small music shop at a large strip mall in the center of town.  Thoughts of what she would say to the twin replayed themselves over and over again in her mind.  When she finally pulled into the parking lot, her apprehension increased tenfold, and she could feel her stomach doing somersaults.  She took a deep breath and walked into the store.  There weren’t many customers at this time of day, so she wasn’t surprised when a sales associate eagerly solicited himself before she even had a chance to make it to the first aisle of CDs.

              “Um, actually, I’d like Amanda Anderson to help me. Is she here?” 

The sales associate nodded his head and pointed to the back corner of the store where a young woman with a black ponytail was busy sorting some CDs. 

              “Thanks,” Carly smiled at him.  She turned and walked over to her.   

              “Hey,” Carly said nervously. 

She held her breath as the twin turned around.  Amanda’s eyes narrowed as she caught sight of the greeter. 

              “Hey,” Amanda replied coolly before turning around to proceed with her task.  Carly felt an emotional pang at the twin’s chilly behavior.   

              “Look, I came to talk.  I know you were pissed before I left for L.A., and I have no idea why.  I just wanna know what upset you," Carly ventured bravely. 

Amanda ignored Carly's plea and turned to walk away, but she hesitated when she noted the desperation in Carly's voice. 

             
“I already lost a good friend, I don’t want to lose another."

              “I get off at six.  Meet me at The Pit Stop,” Amanda replied in an apathetic tone.  With that, she walked away to help a customer at the register. 

Carly let out a huge sigh of relief and relaxed her tense stomach muscles.  She could have sworn she had held her breath during the whole exchange, fearful and not anticipating how Amanda would react.  She was immensely thankful that Amanda had agreed to meet with her. 

Several hours later, Carly arrived at The Pit Stop.  She walked in and almost immediately spotted Amanda sitting in a booth at the rear of the restaurant, a glass of soda set out in front of her.  Carly approached and slid into the seat opposite hers.

              “Hey,” Carly greeted cautiously. 

Amanda peered down at her drink in response, swirling the brown liquid with her straw while maintaining a frown on her face.  An uncomfortable silence ensued, and Carly decided to be the first to break the ice.

              “Look,” she began while nervously wringing her hands.  “You’re upset.  I'm pretty sure it's because I went to L.A. and Jake left you out.  I shouldn't have gone without you, I'm sorry." 

              “It’s not because you went to L.A.  I mean, seriously Carly, do you think I'm that needy and insecure?” Amanda cut in suddenly, catching Carly off guard.  “Truthfully, it’s always been about the way he looked at you, and the way he treated you.”

              “What are you talking about?” Carly asked in a confused tone.

Amanda sighed wearily, an expression of emotional surrender on her face.

              “It’s just that…you were always Jake’s favorite.  It’s always been like that.  You were always the center of his attention. Ever since we were kids, Jake has had this special
thing for you, as if you were some special trophy."

Amanda paused momentarily to study Carly's face after this blunt confession.  When she saw nothing but genuine concern and empathy, she continued. 

              "I dealt with it for years, pushing it to the side.  I just hoped that one day he would look at me like he looked at you.  This whole L.A. thing was just the last straw for me.  It made me realize he'd never like me in that way."

Carly was silent as she tried to sort out everything Amanda had just unleashed.   

              “Oh, for God’s sake.  I’m just going to say it,” Amanda finally conceded.  She confessed, “I've always had a thing for Jake.  But he likes you.  I just didn't wanna face reality." 

Amanda looked down at her drink and swirled the straw around the edge of the glass.

              "You going with him to L.A. made me jealous."

              “Trust me, Jake doesn't like me in that way either,” Carly responded firmly, the sadness struggling to overtake her.  But she kept it at bay and fought to remain strong.  She definitely didn't want the twin to see her with tears in her eyes.  No doubt this would prompt questions, and Carly didn't feel like talking about L.A. 

Amanda shook her head to this and replied, "That's a load of shit and you know it.  He's always liked you." 

Determined to change the direction of the conversation, she asked, “If you had such a thing for him, why didn’t you ever make a move?”

Amanda groaned and threw her hands up in utter exasperation. 

              “That’s what I’ve been trying to get through your thick skull.  I knew it’d be pointless because he liked you...not me.  I'd never have a chance."  The last was said with a slight tinge of melancholy.

              “You mean to tell me, you were mad at me because you were jealous that Jake supposedly liked me?” Carly asked incredulously.

The twin remained silent and looked down at her drink.  She couldn't quite meet Carly's eyes for she was too embarrassed.  Hearing it aloud from someone else made her realize just how childish she had been. 

             
“You risked our friendship over a guy?" Carly continued, slightly vexed. 

              “Okay!” the twin shot out.  She dared a peek at her friend across the table.   

              “I know it sounds stupid, but that’s just what I was…stupid.  When I realized that Jake was fully prepared to whisk you away to L.A. and I was nowhere in the picture, it just upset me.  I was hurt.”

Carly disapprovingly shook her head.  But it all made sense to her now.

              “I should have known it would happen eventually and that I’d have to face the truth.  He adores you," Amanda said with strong conviction. 

              “You have no clue whatsoever,” Carly scoffed. 

Amanda looked baffled and Carly decided to fill her in.  Although it was hard to talk about, she relayed all that had happened in L.A., including the intimacy she had shared with Jake.  When Carly had finished, Amanda stared at her expectantly.   

              “What?” she asked.

              “How was it?”

Carly began to blush as she realized what the twin was referring to. 

              “You want a full report?” Carly asked, slightly embarrassed. 

When the twin didn’t say anything and continued to stare, Carly said, “It was great, okay.” 

              “I knew he would be!  So, what exactly did he do?” Amanda asked shamelessly.

              “He…,” Carly began, then emitted a resigned sigh.  "What does it matter anyway? It's over.”

              “Is it really over?  Has he called you at all since you left?”

Carly remained silent as she brooded over the realization that she would probably never hear from him again.  Amanda noticed the distressed look on Carly’s face and got a perverse sense of satisfaction out of the whole thing. 

              “It’s really over, huh?” 

Carly nodded. 

Both girls remained silent until Amanda finally threw her hands up in exasperation and exclaimed, “What the fuck am I thinking!  Jake will be running back to you in no time.” 

Amanda’s voice sounded so confident it bred momentary hope.   

              “You really think so?  Why?” Carly asked.

Amanda rolled her eyes and leaned forward.

              “Because he loves you, you ditz."

              “Love?  Ha! I seriously doubt that.  I mean, I poured my heart and soul out and he blew me off." 

              “No,” Amanda said, shaking her head.  “He didn’t blow you off.  He just didn’t know at the time how to respond.  It probably came as a shock to him.”

Carly scoffed at this.

              "Plus, L.A.'s got him all fucked up in the head for the time being.  He'll snap out of it, though." 

Carly remained dubious.  But if Amanda was right, then...what was she thinking?  She chided herself for even considering the possibility that she and Jake could end up together.  Amanda was putting all these crazy ideas in her head, and they weren't helping her get over the grief and sadness. 

Carly glanced at her watch and remarked, "I better go.  I'm supposed to grab some milk for my mom so she can make dinner tonight."   

              "Cool.  I'm just gonna pay for my drink really quickly and leave with you."

              “So, are we okay?” Carly asked hopefully. 

Amanda’s face brightened and she seated herself next to Carly to give her a hug.   

              “I’m sorry for being such a jealous bitch,” Amanda said sheepishly. 

Carly could tell the twin was genuinely apologetic. 

              "Don't worry about it," Carly replied, smiling at the twin.

              “Now we just need to get you and Jake back together.  You guys are obviously meant for each other,” Amanda said resolutely. 

Carly rolled her eyes and shook her head in disagreement. 

              “I know I’m right!” Amanda called as Carly veered in the opposite direction to get to her car.  “I’m giving him to you, so you better take him before I change my mind!”