The River Maid (3 page)

Chapter Three

Adrianna floated. She lay on her back in the river, the sky blue and cloudless above her, the current gently carrying her along. Green hills rose either side of her. Somehow, she knew she was on the Rhine, but there were no towns or castles in sight. She was entirely alone. The song drifted softly, carried by the wind and woven into its whisper. She could hear it clearly despite the water blocking her ears. It wrapped around her, filling her with a deep sense of peace. She felt content to drift forever.

Suddenly, she was pulled under. Water filled her mouth. She struggled desperately to stay afloat, but someone or something pulled her down. Unable to breathe, her body went limp. Down and down she slowly sunk, into the river’s dark depths. She watched the light fade further and further away. With a jolt, she came to rest on the riverbed. She couldn’t move her head, but out of the corner of her eye she could see Jutta lying still next to her, her eyes open and unblinking, her body swollen and misshapen and her skin mottled grey. Suddenly, Jutta turned her head and her white lifeless hand reached out for Adrianna.

Adrianna opened her eyes and sat up, her heart racing. Relief washed over her as she took in the familiar surroundings of her tiny bedroom. It was just a dream, she told herself, pressing a hand to her chest and taking in slow, deep breaths, as she tried to calm her racing heart. Just a dream. But it had been so vivid. She could still feel water filling her mouth and nose, choking her as she tried to breathe. She lay back down and pulled the blankets up to her chin and tried to go back to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes all she could see was Jutta
’s white hand reaching out for her. 

In the end, she threw back the covers and climbed out of her narrow bed. She shivered at the chill as her bare feet hit the cold floorboards. She needed to hurry and get downstairs to the fire. In the room below, she could hear her mother moving about, already up. She poured water from the jug on the nightstand into a bowl and splashed water onto her face. Her eyes felt gritty and dry. She felt as if she hadn’t slept at all. Woven through her dream had been the song she’d heard by the river, the same song her mother had heard Jutta singing before she disappeared. In her dream she had known the words so clearly, but now they eluded her. There was something about a maid
…

Drawing the curtains, she threw open the wooden shutters. Dawn had threaded its fingers through the sky streaking it red and amber. The town was stirring, the men already up and heading out to the fishing boats. She spotted Peter amongst them with his pale blonde hair. He glanced up at her window as he passed, but she drew back before he could see her. She waited a moment for him to pass and then lifted the corner of the curtain and peered out at his retreating back. She wished she felt something for him. He was not unattractive, but she looked at him and felt nothing.

With a sigh, she straightened the blankets on her bed. She was fortunate to have a room to herself. Most of the girls in the town had to share a bed with their sisters. Wanting to get down to the fire, she tried to dress quickly, but her fingers were cold and stiff and she struggled with the buttons at the back of her brown dress. She finally managed to do up the last one and then she began unbraiding her long hair. She brushed out the knots and tangles and then went to work rebraiding it into a heavy rope that reached down her back. That was one thing she would have liked a sister for; to help her with her hair. Her mother didn’t have time to do it for her; she was too busy with the chores. She wrapped the thick braid around her head and secured it with pins and then carefully carried her chamber pot downstairs and took it outside to empty. She shouldn’t care how her hair looked anyway, she thought. There was only Peter to admire it and she didn’t want him to think she was making an effort to please him.

In the kitchen, her mother was already hard at work, kneading dough with her capable hands. Flour covered her cheek and dusted her hair. She said nothing to Adrianna as she came in.

Adrianna ladled some porridge into a bowl and sat down at the table. An awkward silence stretched out between them. After supper last night, her mother had tried again to point out all the benefits of marrying Peter, and they had gone to bed on bad terms.

Her mother sighed and wiped her hands on her apron. She took the chair across from Adrianna at the table.
“I’m sorry for what I said last night.” Adrianna looked down at her porridge, unable to meet her mother’s gaze. Her mother reached out and raised her chin so that she was facing her. “I just want to make sure that you will be taken care of if something happened to me.”

“
I know,” Adrianna said in a small voice. They seemed to argue more and more lately. It had been just the two of them for so long, but now not a day passed without some disagreement between them. “I’m sorry I can’t be like the other girls and just marry Peter.”

“
I wouldn’t want you to be.” Her mother pulled her up and hugged her tight. Adrianna closed her eyes. She could feel how thin her mother was. If she squeezed too hard it felt like her bones would break and crumble. Her mother would say she wasn’t hungry and went without when their food ran short and Adrianna often heard her coughing in the night from a cough that wouldn’t go away. It was up to her to take care of her mother now. Her mother laughed as she pulled away. “I’ve covered you in flour.” She brushed the powder from Adrianna’s cheek. “I need to go and check on Frau Luft. The younger ones will need to be washed and fed.”

“
I’ll get started on the washing,” Adrianna said.

Since her father had died six years ago, they had taken in washing to make a living. They had little money, but they didn’t starve. They had done well since the prince had come to stay at the castle. The servants couldn
’t cope with all the washing, so they sent it down to the town, but it was heavy and exhausting work.

Frau Mueller nodded to her as Adrianna set the buckets down and joined the queue of women waiting to take their turn at the pump. Frau Mueller was a quiet woman who rarely smiled. She was thin, but most of the townspeople were thin;
she saw that her children were fed. Inga appeared carrying a single bucket. She joined the queue behind Adrianna. With her wheat blonde hair, she stood out amongst the other townspeople. When she was younger, Adrianna had often wished her hair was the same golden colour instead of dull brown.

“Has he asked you yet?” Inga whispered. 

“Has who asked me?” Adrianna said, pretending she didn’t know what Inga was talking about.

“Peter. Has he asked you to marry him?”

“Not yet.”

“He will though.” Inga sighed wistfully. At fifteen, she would soon start looking for a husband herself. Adrianna had seen her casting glances at Peter from beneath her lashes. It would be much simpler if Peter could just marry Inga, but then there would be no one for her.  

“Did you hear about Jutta?” Inga asked. “They found bruises on her arms. They think that someone drowned her.” She sounded almost gleeful. Inga hadn’t come to fetch water; she had come to gossip. Inga didn’t have anything else to do as the chores were divided between her and her five siblings. Adrianna seemed to spend her whole life doing chores. When she finally finished them, it was time to start all over again. “I think it was the prince,” Inga went on.

Adrianna stepped forward to take her turn. “
You have no right to accuse him of such a thing,” she said as she set a bucket under the spout and worked the handle.

“It all started after he came to stay at the castle. Before that no one has ever gone missing.”

“That doesn’t mean it was the prince.”

“I suppose it could have been the prince’s tutor.”

Knowing how gossip could spread, Adrianna whirled around to face her. “You have no right to accuse him of such a thing.”

“Do you like him, Adrianna? You’re always talking to him. Don’t you think he’s too old for you?”

Adrianna flushed scarlet. “It isn’t like that. Monsieur Gaspard is simply kind.”

“That’s enough,” Frau Mueller said, stepping between them. “Off with you now, Inga.”

“Well, I think he did it.” Inga tossed her head and sauntered off.

Adrianna picked up her buckets.
“You don’t think it was him, do you?” she asked Frau Mueller.

“
No. I think Jutta had a sweetheart. Several times I saw her slipping out of the town. I think she was going to meet someone.”

“She never mentioned a boy to me.” But Jutta had been acting strangely just before she disappeared. She’d had a dreamy look in her eyes and she had brushed by Adrianna when she had tried to speak to her. A boy would explain the sudden change in her behaviour.

Adrianna hauled the buckets back to the house. She poured the water into a huge pot and set it to boil and then went back for more. She was on her fourth trip and carrying the last buckets back, when Peter appeared. 

“
Let me help,” he said, reaching to take a bucket from her.

“
I can manage.” She sloshed water over her dress as she side stepped to avoid him. He caught hold of the handle of the bucket in her right hand. She tried to tug it away from him, but he wouldn’t let go. She had no choice but to let him carry it or risk soaking herself further.

It was worse carrying one bucket than two. Having one bucket in each hand balanced out the weight. She had to use both hands to grip the handle of the remaining bucket.

“I thought you were out with the boats,” she said to break the silence as they walked back to her house.

“There was a hole in one of the nets, so we had to come back.” It was a poor excuse. She wondered if the men had sent him to speak to her. The whole town was aware of what Peter intended to ask her. She could see them staring as they passed. Jorg headed toward her, but his mother pulled him away. Herr Kreuger actually turned around and went back into his house.

“I brought you a fish,” Peter said. He had a package in his free hand wrapped in brown paper.

“Thank you. My mother will be grateful.”

She quickened her pace. She was relieved when they reached her house. He set the bucket down on the ground. “Adrianna --,” he began.

“Thank you for the fish.” She picked up the bucket and carried it into the house, but he followed her in. He stood there looking uncertain. Hoping that if she ignored him he would leave, she poured the water that was just beginning to boil into the wooden tub outside and set more to boil.

“Adrianna, please stop.” He stepped in front of her, blocking her way. “I’ve been trying to think of the best way to do this.” He took a deep breath and let it out and then took her hands in both of his. She could feel how hot and clammy they were. She waited with dread for what she knew he was about to say. “Every time I try and speak to you, you’re always so busy. It’s almost as if you want to avoid me.”

“I have work to do,” she replied, not meeting his eyes.

“I watch you.” He blushed red and ducked his head. “I mean, I’ve seen you. How hard you work. But you don’t have to do that anymore. I want to take care of you, Adrianna. You and your mother. My aunt thinks it’s time that I married and I think it’s time as well. Adrianna, I want you to be my wife.”

Adrianna closed her eyes. She had been trying to avoid this, to somehow prevent it from happening.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” he asked.

She didn’t know what to say. She knew what her mother wanted her to say and what everyone else in the town expected her to say.

“Why do you want to marry me?” she eventually asked.

He seemed at a loss how to answer her. “
I like you. I will work hard to make sure you want for nothing.”

What she wanted he couldn
’t give to her. No one could.

“
We could live with my aunt,” he continued. “And your mother could live with us and help with the children when they come. When my aunt dies, I will get the house. She’s old. I don’t think it will be much longer.”

It was the best offer she would get, perhaps the only offer. They could have a happy home. She could see herself washing and mending while he was out with the boats. She would have supper waiting for him when he came back. That would be her life. Her entire existence. Every day would be the same, an endless cycle of washing and mending, cooking and cleaning. 

“I don’t know what to say,” Adrianna said. His face fell. She didn’t want to marry him, but she didn’t want to hurt him either. “I need some time to think. They only found Jutta’s body yesterday. It wouldn’t be right for us to announce anything yet.” She felt terrible for using her friend’s death as an excuse to delay him.

“
Of course.” A smile filled his face. “We can wait until after the funeral and then we can announce it.”

He thought she had accepted his offer. She opened her mouth to correct him, but he ran off before she could speak, the door banging shut behind him. She stood in the kitchen, with the water bubbling and threatening to boil over, wanting to cry at how unfair her life was, but there was no time to feel sorry for herself. There was work to be done.  

She threw armfuls of bed linen that had been soaking into the tub outside and went to work. She used a dolly stick to pummel the fabric. She put all her frustration into it. Her hands were soon red and raw and her arms aching. She worked all morning. She winced as she stood up and stretched her back. She wiped her forehead and pushed back the damp tendrils of hair that had come loose from the braid. Jorg’s mother walked past, her hand resting on her swollen belly. A gaggle of children fanned out behind her like a flock of geese. She tried to imagine blonde-haired children following behind her. She should be content with that. Who was she to want more? She had no education, no wealth and no connections. She was just a washer girl from the town. She had to be practical and accept this was her lot, not waste her time with silly hopes and dreams. She would be happy with Peter, she told herself fiercely. They could have a nice home together. Maybe in time she would come to love him.