The Ride Across Lake Constance and Other Plays (13 page)
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Authors: Peter Handke
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BOOK: The Ride Across Lake Constance and Other Plays
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VON STROHEIM
takes the red cloth from the table, jumps up with it, walks around with it, shakes it as if he wants to demonstrate it to them. They bend forward, inspect.
VON STROHEIM
looks around triumphantly. They nod, shake their heads surprised, laugh with delight, slap their thighs with laughter. Exclamations such as
“A red cloth, indeed!” “No doubt about it!” “Lupus in fabula,” “Talk of the devil!” “Atlantis has reappeared!”
takes the red cloth from the table, jumps up with it, walks around with it, shakes it as if he wants to demonstrate it to them. They bend forward, inspect.
VON STROHEIM
looks around triumphantly. They nod, shake their heads surprised, laugh with delight, slap their thighs with laughter. Exclamations such as
“A red cloth, indeed!” “No doubt about it!” “Lupus in fabula,” “Talk of the devil!” “Atlantis has reappeared!”
VON STROHEIM
stands in front of the others like a magician. He turns all his pockets inside out very fastâthe pockets are very wide and light-colored
â
and strikes a pose.
PORTEN
applauds vigorously.
VON STROHEIM,
as magician, takes off his smoking jacket in a jiffy, turns it over, and already has put it back on. )
stands in front of the others like a magician. He turns all his pockets inside out very fastâthe pockets are very wide and light-colored
â
and strikes a pose.
PORTEN
applauds vigorously.
VON STROHEIM,
as magician, takes off his smoking jacket in a jiffy, turns it over, and already has put it back on. )
Â
JANNINGS
(
Enthusiastically
) So it is true! (VON STROHEIM
produces a small imitation of a rolling pin out of his pocket, which is now the magician's pocket. JANNINGS exclaiming so that the cigar drops out of his mouth)
Not only in jokes then! (GEORGE
hands him the cigar.
JANNINGS
wipes the ash off his knees, stops suddenly, notices what he is doing, continues cleaning in a merry ritual. )
Ash on my suit! When I tell about that, no one will believe me.
(They all laugh.
VON STROHEIM
conjures up the magician's magic cloth, a flag in colors that do not signify a particular country. He blows briskly on the flag, making it flutter.)
Indeed, it flutters! The flag flutters! (VON STROHEIM
stashes the things into his pockets, becomes an actor: he walks to the bar, takes out a bottle, fondles it, then supports himself backward with one hand on the table.
JANNINGS
calmly translates this for
GEORGE.) He is fondling the bottle and supporting himself
with his hand on the table. (VON STROHEIM
moves to the side of the table, dangles the bottle by the neck, and begins to squint.
JANNINGS
to
GEORGE) He is holding the bottle by the neck and squinting. (VON STROHEIM
puts the bottle back and moves through the room with hunched shoulders, making an unnecessarily wide curve around each object but at the same time scrutinizing each.)
He hunches his shoulders, looks at the objects, yet makes a curve around them.
Enthusiastically
) So it is true! (VON STROHEIM
produces a small imitation of a rolling pin out of his pocket, which is now the magician's pocket. JANNINGS exclaiming so that the cigar drops out of his mouth)
Not only in jokes then! (GEORGE
hands him the cigar.
JANNINGS
wipes the ash off his knees, stops suddenly, notices what he is doing, continues cleaning in a merry ritual. )
Ash on my suit! When I tell about that, no one will believe me.
(They all laugh.
VON STROHEIM
conjures up the magician's magic cloth, a flag in colors that do not signify a particular country. He blows briskly on the flag, making it flutter.)
Indeed, it flutters! The flag flutters! (VON STROHEIM
stashes the things into his pockets, becomes an actor: he walks to the bar, takes out a bottle, fondles it, then supports himself backward with one hand on the table.
JANNINGS
calmly translates this for
GEORGE.) He is fondling the bottle and supporting himself
with his hand on the table. (VON STROHEIM
moves to the side of the table, dangles the bottle by the neck, and begins to squint.
JANNINGS
to
GEORGE) He is holding the bottle by the neck and squinting. (VON STROHEIM
puts the bottle back and moves through the room with hunched shoulders, making an unnecessarily wide curve around each object but at the same time scrutinizing each.)
He hunches his shoulders, looks at the objects, yet makes a curve around them.
Â
VON STROHEIM
(
Returns to the table. As a teacher
) And now to the practical application: someone fondles an object or leans against it?
Returns to the table. As a teacher
) And now to the practical application: someone fondles an object or leans against it?
Â
GEORGE
The proprietor.
Â
VON STROHEIM
Someone moves with hunched shoulders among objects, makes a curve around them?
Â
GEORGE
The guest.
Â
VON STROHEIM
Someone who is squinting holds an object in his hand?
Â
GEORGE
The thief.
Â
JANNINGS
Someone fondles an object because it belongs to him. Because someone fondles an object, does it belong to him?
Â
VON STROHEIM
Unless you prove the opposite.
Â
JANNINGS
Someone with an object in his hand begins to squint. Because he has stolen it?
Â
VON STROHEIM
Â
Unless he proves his innocence.
Â
JANNINGS
Someone suddenly puckers up his mouth and nose. (
He shows how.
) Because he's afraid and a coward?
He shows how.
) Because he's afraid and a coward?
VON STROHEIM
Unless his actions prove the opposite.
Â
JANNINGS
But if there's nothing to do?
Â
VON STROHEIM
What else would he be afraid of?
Â
JANNINGS
I don't understand that.
Â
VON STROHEIM
What you're sitting on is an easy chair, isn't it?
Â
JANNINGS
Yes.
Â
VON STROHEIM
Or is it perhaps a life preserver? (JANNINGS
laughs at this extraordinary suggestion.
) It seems just as ridiculous to you when I claim that you are sitting on a life preserver as it would to claim that someone's mouth and nose pucker up (
He imitates it
.) because he feels like doing something.
laughs at this extraordinary suggestion.
) It seems just as ridiculous to you when I claim that you are sitting on a life preserver as it would to claim that someone's mouth and nose pucker up (
He imitates it
.) because he feels like doing something.
Â
(
Pause.
)
Pause.
)
Â
JANNINGS
But an easy chair is an easy chair, and an expression (
He makes one
.) is an expression. How can the two be compared?
He makes one
.) is an expression. How can the two be compared?
VON STROHEIM
I will demonstrate to you how one can. (
Pause. They all wait. Pause.
VON STROHEIM
suddenly
) What do you have in your mouth? (JANNINGS
quickly takes the cigar out of his mouth and puts it out.
VON STROHEIM
smiles.)
Why is your collar button open? (JANNINGS
nimbly closes his collar button. )
You are so serious?
Pause. They all wait. Pause.
VON STROHEIM
suddenly
) What do you have in your mouth? (JANNINGS
quickly takes the cigar out of his mouth and puts it out.
VON STROHEIM
smiles.)
Why is your collar button open? (JANNINGS
nimbly closes his collar button. )
You are so serious?
Â
(JANNINGS
laughs resoundingly. Pause. Quiet. Pause.
)
laughs resoundingly. Pause. Quiet. Pause.
)
Â
JANNINGS
(
Softly
) You have something on your nose.
Softly
) You have something on your nose.
VON STROHEIM
(
Is about to wipe it off, hesitates, softly
) You've understood?
Is about to wipe it off, hesitates, softly
) You've understood?
Â
(
Pause
.)
Pause
.)
Â
JANNINGS
(
Suddenly loud
) You're just standing there, please hand me the bottle. (VON STROHEIM
plays along, hands him the bottle.
) No, not that one, the other one! (
He points
.) No, not that one, one can't ask for anything any more. Yes, that's the one! (
But he hands the bottle back to him at once
.) Put it back in its place!
Suddenly loud
) You're just standing there, please hand me the bottle. (VON STROHEIM
plays along, hands him the bottle.
) No, not that one, the other one! (
He points
.) No, not that one, one can't ask for anything any more. Yes, that's the one! (
But he hands the bottle back to him at once
.) Put it back in its place!
VON STROHEIM
(
Like a teacher who is playing a student
) Why?
Like a teacher who is playing a student
) Why?
Â
JANNINGS
Because you took it from its place. (VON STROHEIM
nods, puts the bottle back
.) No, not there. Back in its place, I said. Over there, right.
nods, puts the bottle back
.) No, not there. Back in its place, I said. Over there, right.
Â
VON STROHEIM
Why precisely there?
Â
JANNINGS
Because that's where it stood before. (VON STROHEIM
nods.
) Give me another bottle.
nods.
) Give me another bottle.
Â
VON STROHEIM
Why?
Â
JANNINGS
Because you gave me a bottle once before.
VON STROHEIM
That's perfect! (
He hands him the bottle
.)
He hands him the bottle
.)
Â
JANNINGS
You're standing? (VON STROHEIM
wants to sit down on a sofa.
) Back in your place! (VON STROHEIM
sits down in his place. Playfully
JANNINGs
assigns the following roles: he hits the bottle neck with a teaspoon:
GEORGE
gets up.
JANNINGS
without looking at him
) Cartwheels! (GEORGE
stands there
.)
wants to sit down on a sofa.
) Back in your place! (VON STROHEIM
sits down in his place. Playfully
JANNINGs
assigns the following roles: he hits the bottle neck with a teaspoon:
GEORGE
gets up.
JANNINGS
without looking at him
) Cartwheels! (GEORGE
stands there
.)
VON STROHEIM
(
Prompts him.
) Why?
Prompts him.
) Why?
GEORGE
Why?
Â
JANNINGS
Because you did a cartwheel before! (
Pause.
GEORGE
turns a cartwheel.
JANNINGS
hands him the magazine.
GEORGE
does not yet understand this language; he doesn't know what to do with the magazine, glances into it.
) Hand it on.
Pause.
GEORGE
turns a cartwheel.
JANNINGS
hands him the magazine.
GEORGE
does not yet understand this language; he doesn't know what to do with the magazine, glances into it.
) Hand it on.
Â
GEORGE
Why?
Â
JANNINGS
Didn't you also hand on the pin before? (
Pause.
GEORGE
hands the magazine to
VON STROHEIM;
he gives it back to
GEORGE
as if the pages were mixed up.
GEORGE
understands: he arranges the pages and hands the magazine back to
VON STROHEIM,
who puts it on the table.
JANNINGS
pulls the second red cloth from under the cutlery on the table and lets it drop. He points to it with the spoon. Pause.)
Well?
Pause.
GEORGE
hands the magazine to
VON STROHEIM;
he gives it back to
GEORGE
as if the pages were mixed up.
GEORGE
understands: he arranges the pages and hands the magazine back to
VON STROHEIM,
who puts it on the table.
JANNINGS
pulls the second red cloth from under the cutlery on the table and lets it drop. He points to it with the spoon. Pause.)
Well?
Â
GEORGE
Why?
Â
JANNINGS
Didn't you just do a cartwheel?
Â
GEORGE
But how can you compare the two?
Â
JANNINGS
For whom, then, did you do the cartwheel?
Â
GEORGE
For
youâ
(
He hesitates
.)
youâ
(
He hesitates
.)
Â
JANNINGS
“Of course” you wanted to say, right?
Â
GEORGE
For you, of course.
Â
JANNINGS
If you can do a cartwheel for me, you can also pick up a cloth for me.
Â
(
Pause
. )
Pause
. )
Â
GEORGE
(
Wants to bend down for the cloth, hesitates
.) But what if I don't want to?
Wants to bend down for the cloth, hesitates
.) But what if I don't want to?
Â
JANNINGS
Now it's too late for that. All the time you did as I asked you to and never said anything. You were content until now or you would have said something. So why should you be dissatisfied now? You didn't contradict me at any time. Why should you be allowed to contradict me now? No, what you utter now doesn't count any more. Do as I say! (
Pause.
GEORGE
picks up the cloth, wants to hand it to
JANNINGS
, who doesn't even bother to extend his hand, hesitates, lets it drop again “as if his hand has fallen asleep.” Pause.
JANNINGS
in a sensible tone of voice
) Look at the others. (
He turns his head
to VON STROHEIM,
then to
PORTEN. VON STROHEIM
goes at once with the guitarâwhich he takes out of the bag while walkingâup to
BERGNER,
sits down behind her and quaintly strikes two soft chords.
PORTEN
sits down on
JANNINGS'S
knees and makes herself comfortable.) If they
do as they're toldâwhy don't you too?
Pause.
GEORGE
picks up the cloth, wants to hand it to
JANNINGS
, who doesn't even bother to extend his hand, hesitates, lets it drop again “as if his hand has fallen asleep.” Pause.
JANNINGS
in a sensible tone of voice
) Look at the others. (
He turns his head
to VON STROHEIM,
then to
PORTEN. VON STROHEIM
goes at once with the guitarâwhich he takes out of the bag while walkingâup to
BERGNER,
sits down behind her and quaintly strikes two soft chords.
PORTEN
sits down on
JANNINGS'S
knees and makes herself comfortable.) If they
do as they're toldâwhy don't you too?
Â
(
Pause
.)
Pause
.)
Â
GEORGE
But why do they do it?
Â
JANNINGS
First obey. Then we can talk about it. (
Pause.
GEORGE
hands him the cloth, which
JANNINGS
places
picturesquely
around
PORTEN'S
shoulders, and ties under her chin. To her)
Well? (
She kisses him without moving her head
.) Now ask!
Pause.
GEORGE
hands him the cloth, which
JANNINGS
places
picturesquely
around
PORTEN'S
shoulders, and ties under her chin. To her)
Well? (
She kisses him without moving her head
.) Now ask!
Â
GEORGE
Why do they do that? Why do they listen to you?
Â
(VON STROHEIM
strikes another quaint chord
.)
strikes another quaint chord
.)
Â
JANNINGS
Because it is natural to them. They did it once without my saying anything while they were half asleep, or because it just happened like that. Then I said it and they did it again. Then they asked me: “May I do that for you?” and I said: “You shall!” And from then on they did it without my having to say anything. It had become the custom. I could point my foot at something and they would jump and get it. Nothing but laws of nature. People began to socialize with one another and it became the rule.
Â
BERGNER
(
On cue, as though talking in her sleep
) How are you; I'm fine, thanks. (
She sighs
.)
On cue, as though talking in her sleep
) How are you; I'm fine, thanks. (
She sighs
.)
Â
JANNINGS
An order resulted; and for people to continue to socialize with one another, this order was made explicit: it was formulated. And once it had been formulated, people had to stick to it because, after all, they had formulated it. That's natural, isn't it? Say something! No, don't say anything, I am speaking now. Don't touch that, it's mine! (
He pushes a
candlestick
away
.) Don't dare to stare at it, it's my property! What was I talking about? Help me! No, don't say anything. About the laws of nature. (
He takes an ashtray into his hand, then lets it drop. )
Just as this ashtray obeys the law of gravity, so you obey me. Well? (
He points with his foot; GEORGE puts the ashtray back on the table
. ) You see? Do you believe me now? No, don't answer, I'll answer for you. Yes, that business with the ashtray and the force of gravity is true enough, I can imagine your answer to be. Do you know what the difference is between you and me? (GEORGE
laughs as though before a joke
.) No, no joke: I
can
imagine you sometimes, you
must
imagine me always. Why aren't you laughing? By the way, this reminds me of a real joke: what's the man's name who invented the chair? Well? Nothing? I'll
help you. What's the man's name who invented the Zeppelin? (
Pause. He laughs invitingly
.) You're not laughing. O.K.! But I'll make a note of it. Where was I? Hadn't I asked you to remind me what else I wanted to talk about? Didn't I see you nod? Then I only imagined that I saw you nod. Once I thought of a conversation I had with someone, and I remembered distinctly how he'd smiled when he answered me, and then it occurred to me that I had been talking to him on the telephone! The laws of nature! The trains! The ocean! He stood where you're standing now! (GEORGE,
startled, steps aside;
JANNINGS
bursts out laughing, again drops the ashtray.
) I'd like to pick it up for you, but I have to stick to what I said (To PORTEN ), don't I? (
She nods
.) I can't say something and then do the opposite of what I've said. Inconceivable! That would be a topsy-turvy world. Do you understand that? (PORTEN
tries to reach backward for the ashtray.)
Stop, that's
his
job! (GEORGE
puts the ashtray on the table
, VON STROHEIM
touches the guitar almost accidentally: a gentle chord
.) So you understand. Just as the trains must obey a schedule so that there is no disorder, so you must obey me. That business with the trains and their schedule is probably true, you say? I dare you to tell me that! Keep quiet? Answer! (GEORGE
wants to speak
.) Forget it! Like a maggot that crawls across one's palmâno, that belongs somewhere else. The ocean! What are you thinking of just now? You can't say it? Then you're not thinking of anything. I once lived for some time by the ocean, and since I lived there, in what categories would you guess I began to think? In the categories of low and high tide! And that's how it is generally: (
As though to the audience)
the manner in which one thinks is determined by the laws of nature! (
Again to
GEORGE) For example, since I've started taking walks through the woods, I always think at the sight of the weak and the strong in terms of the laws of nature. And since I learned to read menusâ
(He pushes
PORTEN
from his knees and she goes quickly to the sofa, cuddles up on it, and he
looks toward her.)âI
think about women, whether I want to or not, in the categories of hors d'oeuvre and main dish. (
She looks at him, but one rather feels the look than actually sees it
.) She doesn't want it differentlyâask her yourself. She'll show you how. (
He snaps his fingers at her and she responds
.)
He pushes a
candlestick
away
.) Don't dare to stare at it, it's my property! What was I talking about? Help me! No, don't say anything. About the laws of nature. (
He takes an ashtray into his hand, then lets it drop. )
Just as this ashtray obeys the law of gravity, so you obey me. Well? (
He points with his foot; GEORGE puts the ashtray back on the table
. ) You see? Do you believe me now? No, don't answer, I'll answer for you. Yes, that business with the ashtray and the force of gravity is true enough, I can imagine your answer to be. Do you know what the difference is between you and me? (GEORGE
laughs as though before a joke
.) No, no joke: I
can
imagine you sometimes, you
must
imagine me always. Why aren't you laughing? By the way, this reminds me of a real joke: what's the man's name who invented the chair? Well? Nothing? I'll
help you. What's the man's name who invented the Zeppelin? (
Pause. He laughs invitingly
.) You're not laughing. O.K.! But I'll make a note of it. Where was I? Hadn't I asked you to remind me what else I wanted to talk about? Didn't I see you nod? Then I only imagined that I saw you nod. Once I thought of a conversation I had with someone, and I remembered distinctly how he'd smiled when he answered me, and then it occurred to me that I had been talking to him on the telephone! The laws of nature! The trains! The ocean! He stood where you're standing now! (GEORGE,
startled, steps aside;
JANNINGS
bursts out laughing, again drops the ashtray.
) I'd like to pick it up for you, but I have to stick to what I said (To PORTEN ), don't I? (
She nods
.) I can't say something and then do the opposite of what I've said. Inconceivable! That would be a topsy-turvy world. Do you understand that? (PORTEN
tries to reach backward for the ashtray.)
Stop, that's
his
job! (GEORGE
puts the ashtray on the table
, VON STROHEIM
touches the guitar almost accidentally: a gentle chord
.) So you understand. Just as the trains must obey a schedule so that there is no disorder, so you must obey me. That business with the trains and their schedule is probably true, you say? I dare you to tell me that! Keep quiet? Answer! (GEORGE
wants to speak
.) Forget it! Like a maggot that crawls across one's palmâno, that belongs somewhere else. The ocean! What are you thinking of just now? You can't say it? Then you're not thinking of anything. I once lived for some time by the ocean, and since I lived there, in what categories would you guess I began to think? In the categories of low and high tide! And that's how it is generally: (
As though to the audience)
the manner in which one thinks is determined by the laws of nature! (
Again to
GEORGE) For example, since I've started taking walks through the woods, I always think at the sight of the weak and the strong in terms of the laws of nature. And since I learned to read menusâ
(He pushes
PORTEN
from his knees and she goes quickly to the sofa, cuddles up on it, and he
looks toward her.)âI
think about women, whether I want to or not, in the categories of hors d'oeuvre and main dish. (
She looks at him, but one rather feels the look than actually sees it
.) She doesn't want it differentlyâask her yourself. She'll show you how. (
He snaps his fingers at her and she responds
.)
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