The Revelation (42 page)

She kisses my lips, cheeks, neck. “I’ve been going
crazy all week. It’s been torture.”

I wrap my arms around her, bury my nose in her hair,
and inhale. “I wish I could bottle this smell so I could sniff it
whenever I’m lonely in L.A.”

“Bumble and Bumble Crème de Coco Shampoo and
Conditioner,” she says. “Seventeen ninety-nine per bottle.”

I laugh.

I pull back from our embrace and zip up. “Okay ‘slut
who ditches her boring date at a bar to fuck the hot bartender in
the bathroom.’ What happens next? I do believe you’re supposed to
slip out of the bathroom, rejoin your boring date, and never look
back, right?”

Kat shrugs. “Yeah, that’s what the script says.” She
tilts her head. “But there’s no fucking way I’m letting you go back
in there and serve that bitch another drink.”

I laugh. “So I take it we’re changing the script?” I
say.

“Damn straight we are,” she says.

I smirk. “How ’bout this? What if the bartender goes
out there and quits his job because he can’t stand the thought of
you leaving here to fuck that other guy? And what if he does it
right in front of the woman who was hitting on him all night?”

Her face lights up. “Oh, I like that ending to the
porno a whole lot better.”

“Yeah, except now it’s not a porno—it’s a fucking
rom-com.”

She smiles. “
When Josh Met Kat
.”

I return her smile. “So, hey, I should tell you.
Jonas and I are waking up at chicken-thirty tomorrow morning to go
climbing for the day. I’ll take you home, see your place—but then
I’m gonna stay at Jonas’ tonight since we’re heading out before
sunrise, okay?”

“That’s cool with me. I’ve got to work tomorrow,
anyway.”

“When are you gonna quit your job already, you puss?
I told you I’ll help you.”

She makes a face.

“What are you waiting for, PG?”

She considers for a beat and then nods decisively.
“You know what? You’re right. Fuck it. I’ll quit tomorrow.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. YOLO, right?”

“Damn straight.”

“Starting my own business can’t be that hard, right?
I’m smart. I can do it. If I fail, I’ll just pick myself back
up.”

“Atta girl.”

There’s a beat.

Damn, she’s gorgeous.

“Hey, Jonas’ house is really close, right?” she
asks.

“Just a few blocks.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. In that case, it
doesn’t make sense for you to take me all the way to my apartment
when you’re staying at Jonas’ tonight. I’m sure Sarah will give me
a ride home later. Let’s walk to Jonas’ house from here and—” She
gasps. “Oh my God. I just had an idea. You, me, and Jonas should
leave the bar together. That’d be so frickin’ funny.”

I chuckle. “And just like that, our movie’s back to
being a porno again.”

Kat laughs.

“Do you really gotta do that to the poor woman? She
already hates you enough to hire a hit on you.”

“Hell yeah, I gotta. It’s just too freaking
hilarious. How much you wanna bet that tiger-woman is out there
hitting on Jonas right now?”

“I’m not stupid enough to take that bet. I’ve been
in far too many bars with Jonas over the years.”

Kat laughs and throws her arms around my neck. “God,
I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, babe.” I wrap my arms around her
and kiss her.

“I’m so glad you came to Seattle early,” she says
into my chest, squeezing me tight. “This long-distance thing is
killing me, Josh. It’s brutal.”

My chest constricts. If ever there was a cue for me
to tell Kat about my upcoming move to Seattle that was just it. But
I’m not ready to tell her. I can’t. It’s definitely happening—I’ve
just made an offer on the perfect place a few miles from Jonas’.
But now’s not the time. We’re in a fucking bathroom, for
Chrissakes, and there’s probably a line of people waiting outside
the door. And, anyway, my move is happening a whole two months from
now, maybe even three. I should probably wait another month or so
before I tell her and we start making plans.

“Come on, PG,” I say. “Let’s go see if Lucy’s torn
Jonas limb from limb yet, or if she’s at least left the poor guy
with a stump to stand on.”

Kat pulls herself together and smooths down her
blouse. “Oh my God, I can’t wait to see that woman’s face when I
suggest we three leave together.” She does a little shimmy. “This
is gonna be the best porno
ever
.”

Kat

“Thanks again for the ride, Sarah,” I say, flopping
onto my couch. “Sorry if I pulled you away from valuable study
time.”

“No, I needed a break,” Sarah says, plopping herself
down next to me. “There’s only so much a girl can read about
mens rea
and
caveat emptor
before she starts to go a
little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

“Well, thanks. It’s awesome to see you. You’ve been
studying like a banshee lately.”

“I love how adding ‘like a banshee’ to anything
makes it totally next level,” Sarah says, laughing. “I don’t even
know what a banshee is or what the hell one does in real life.”

“Hell if I know. I think they scream?”

“And study for law exams, apparently.”

“Well, whatever they do, those damned banshees put
their entire heart and soul into it, every time, that’s for
sure.”

We both laugh.

“So when do exams finally start? Seems like you’ve
been studying every minute since Vegas.”

“Next week,” Sarah says. “ I’ve got exams Monday
through Thursday. And then on Friday Jonas is whisking me away to
an undisclosed location. He says he’s taking me somewhere really
special, but he won’t tell me where.”

My heart swoons vicariously for her. She’s gonna
flip out.

“So things are good between you two?” I ask.

Sarah absently touches the platinum bracelet around
her wrist. “Things couldn’t be better. I didn’t know I could love
someone this much. It physically
hurts—
like I’m literally
straining my heart muscle.”

I bite my lip. “I’m so happy for you.”

Sarah smiles sheepishly. “Thank you. I’m happy for
me, too. So tell me about you and Josh. You guys were on fire in
Las Vegas. Like, kerzoinks. Whenever we were all together, I kept
looking around for fire extinguishers, just in case.”

I laugh.

“You like him?”

“Yeah, I’m gone—
Gone, Baby, Gone
. I’m Ben
and
Casey Afflecked.”

Sarah squeals. “And Josh? Is he
Gone, Baby,
Gone
, too?”

“Well, all signs point to yes. Not all
words
,
mind you, but all signs. I’ve definitely gotta read the tea leaves
a bit when it comes to Joshua William Faraday.”

Sarah rolls her eyes. “Those Faraday boys sure
weren’t raised to talk about their ‘fucking feelings.’”

I sigh wistfully. “You can say that again.”

“Aw, sounds like you’re a smitten kitten,” Sarah
says.

I twist my mouth. “Sarah, I’m not smitten. I’m head
over heels in love with him.”

Sarah’s eyes widen. “Holy crappola, girl. I’ve never
heard you say that before.”

“I’ve never said it before. But I am.”

“Have you told him?”

I shake my head. “I’ve told him he’s the sexiest man
alive. And that I think he’s awesome and I’m addicted. But we
certainly haven’t traded the magic words—we haven’t even called
each other boyfriend and girlfriend yet.” I roll my eyes. “It’s the
weirdest thing. We’re so intimate on the one hand—so close and open
and honest and connected—it’s insane how connected—and yet we’re so
closed off in some ways. Like there are these unwritten rules.” I
shrug. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

“I get it—believe me—more than you know. Well, have
you had the whole ‘let’s not date other people’ conversation, at
least?”

“Yeah. But not in the usual way. It came up through
this weird back door.”

Sarah grimaces.

“Oh, Sarah. You and your fear of anal.” I laugh. “I
wasn’t being literal. I meant it came up because we were talking
about doing all sorts of freaky sex-stuff and we decided to be
exclusive for that
.
It wasn’t like, ‘Oh, darling, my heart
simply can’t beat without you. I’m ready to take our intimate and
budding romance to the next level.’”

Sarah makes a commiserating face. “Same with Jonas.
He invited me to be the ‘sole member of The Jonas Faraday Club.’ He
never said, ‘Let’s be exclusive.’ Everything’s always in code with
that guy. But, really, is there some official way a guy’s supposed
to ask to be exclusive? It all gets you to the same place in the
end, right?”

I shrug. “Yeah, that’s true. And he did say he
doesn’t want anyone touching me. He said it makes him crazy to
think of someone else with me.”

“Well, see? There you go. He’s telling you. And he
flew you down to L.A. for a long weekend, and now he’s up here to
see you the very next weekend. That sure screams ‘girlfriend’ to
me.”

“Under normal circumstances, I’d agree. But I don’t
know for sure.”

Sarah grabs my hand. “Kat, you’re overthinking it. I
saw you two in Vegas. The chemistry is through the roof. He’s
totally into you.”

“I know he is. He’s made that clear. I’m not blind.
It’s just that our relationship is so sexual—which is
fan-fucking-tastic, don’t get me wrong. But I just can’t tell if
it’s all about the sex and excitement and here-and-now for him or
if he wants something more. You know, something a bit more
permanent.”

“Here’s a crazy idea: just ask him. Talk like
adults.”

“Pfft. Yeah, because that’s what
you
did,
right? I seem to recall Jonas not saying the three magic words
after Belize and you were like, ‘I don’t need no stinkin’ magic
words. He told me in a super-secret code and that’s just great with
me.’”

Sarah makes a face. “That’s true. I did say
that.”

I motion like she’s just made my point.

“Okay, I get it,” Sarah says. “Well, then. Here’s a
different approach. How about you get yourself stabbed in a
bathroom at U Dub? That’ll jumpstart a conversation about your
fucking feelings in a New York minute.”

“Hey, there’s an idea. Why didn’t I think of
that?”

“God only knows if Jonas ever would have told me he
loves me if external forces hadn’t intervened.”

“Well, I’m gonna pass on getting stabbed, thank you
very much. But how about this as an ‘intervening external force’:
Josh is meeting my family on Saturday night.”

Sarah squeals. “No way. Really? You’re sicking the
Morgan clan on the guy? Holy hell, now that’s a frickin’
‘intervening external force’ every bit as powerful as a hitman in a
bathroom. Holy hell, the guy doesn’t stand a chance coming out of
that night all in one piece. By the end of the night, he’ll be
like, ‘Just tell me what you want me to say! Please! I’m
sorry!’”

I laugh. “I know, right?”

Sarah looks thoughtful for a minute. “You know, I
really wouldn’t get too hung up on expecting Josh to say certain
words or make conventional promises to you. If Josh is anything
like his brother, then he’s way more fucked up than you even
realize. I think their childhood was just utterly crippling in a
way we can’t completely understand. I’ve got my own issues, for
sure, as you know, and they
pale
in comparison to what Jonas
has had to overcome in his life.”

A vision of Josh’s “overcome” tattoo suddenly leaps
into my mind.

“Even with all my fucked up stuff, I always had my
mom, teaching me how to love,” Sarah continues. “Who did Jonas and
Josh have? I don’t think either of them has ever learned the first
thing about how to express emotion or love in a healthy way. They
literally don’t know how to love or be loved.”

I process that for a moment. “When we were talking
about my mom, he said, ‘I’ve never actually witnessed a wife
roaming in its natural habitat.’”

Sarah laughs. “Josh said that?”

I nod.

“Poor Josh.” Sarah touches her platinum bracelet
again. “Same with Jonas. He doesn’t understand conventional,
fairytale commitment. We never talk about the future or make any
long-term plans. He’s just not
capable.
He’ll never, you
know, ask me to marry him or anything like that—and I totally
accept that.”

I can barely keep a straight face.

“I just take what I can get in the here and now and
that’s enough for me. But I trust him with my life and I’ve learned
to just let go and enjoy what we have. Jonas has already promised
me forever the way he knows how,” Sarah continues. “He gave me this
engraved bracelet and he’s got a matching one—and he got tattoos in
my honor—one in Spanish and one in English.” She chokes up. “The
most beautiful and poignant words you ever saw.” Her eyes are
brimming with tears. “And that’s enough for me. More than enough.”
She wipes her eyes and smiles.

I squeeze Sarah’s hand, smiling to myself. Of all
the tattoos I babbled off-the-cuff about being “lame” and
“prohibited” to Josh, the “girlfriend” tattoo is by far the one I
regret the most. It’s absolutely awesome—whether the relationship
winds up working out long-term or not. I was such a fool. “You
can’t get much more ‘forever’ than a guy getting a tattoo for you,”
I say. “Florebblaaaaaah,” I add.

“Floreblaaaaaah?” Sarah asks.

“That’s as close as Josh comes to saying that
word.”

Sarah laughs and wipes her tears again. “Maybe you
can just decide to ‘hear’ what Josh is telling you with his
actions, and not get too bogged down in needing particular words or
assurances?” she suggests. “Maybe he’ll never give them to you,
Kitty Kat. Maybe he just
can’t
.” She wipes her eyes again.
“I’m a firm believer that actions speak louder than words, anyway.
And from what I can see, Josh has been screaming about his feelings
for you from the rooftops.”