The Return of the Gypsy (24 page)

He was smiling across the table at Amaryllis, who was blushing and looking extremely pretty.

“Yes,” he said, “Amaryllis has promised to be my wife.” He was looking at David and Claudine now. “My gratitude to Amaryllis’ parents who have told me they are willing to accept me as their son-in-law. And I am hoping we shall have the approval of the rest of the family.”

“Well, Amaryllis,” cried my mother, “this is a surprise!”

I knew that she had thought I was the one in whom he was especially interested.

“As soon as we saw each other… we knew,” Peter was saying.

Then everyone seemed to be speaking at once. Someone was talking of toasts. I felt myself behaving mechanically. There was a great lump in my throat. One thought was uppermost in my mind. No one must know.

I could not believe this was happening. I was so unsure of my feeling. I was not exactly in love with him. I had enjoyed his attentions. I had thought he was very seriously regarding our future. I was too shocked, too bewildered, to think clearly.

Amaryllis was smiling happily. She looked very beautiful. I lifted my glass with the rest. I noticed that Claudine was avoiding my eyes. She was sorry for me … Oh no, I could not bear it.

Had I betrayed my feelings? Was I betraying them now? I had to say something. I had to act normally. Did Peter know? Had he guessed? Amaryllis did not know. She would not be so happy if she did.

I heard myself say: “What a pity you didn’t wait. Edward and I were going to announce our engagement when he came back to Grasslands.”

Silence. Then exclamations of pleasure. This was what my parents had wanted. They had always wanted me to marry Edward Barrington.

“This is great news,” cried my mother jubilantly.

My father said: “So it’s to be two of them, is it? I didn’t think our Jessica would allow Amaryllis to steal a march on her.”

So they drank their toasts; and I sat there numb and thought: What have I done?

How like me to have acted on the spur of the moment. I should have been calm. But it had been the only way to cloak my feelings. I would not have them sorry for me—him too, knowing as he must have done that I had believed he was in love with me. And all the time it had been Amaryllis. I could not believe it even now.

Amaryllis was beside me. She put her arms round me and kissed me.

“I’m so pleased, Jessica. Edward is a fine man. Isn’t it wonderful … both of us on the same day.”

I said it was wonderful. I drank the toasts. And all the time I was longing to escape to my room.

I wanted to be alone to think about what I had done.

When we returned my mother came to my room. She knew me so well that I wondered if she had guessed.

She put her hands on my shoulders and drew me to her; she held me tightly for a few moments.

“My dear, you are happy, aren’t you?”

“Yes, of course,” I lied.

“Edward is such a good man. Your father and I have always liked him. We have always hoped …”

“Well, you are content now. But I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that. I should have waited for Edward to be there.”

“I understand,” she said. “There was Amaryllis …”

“I wanted to share in it, I suppose. That was why …”

“Well, it is not important how and when the announcement was made. All that matters is that you and Edward …”

“I… I er would rather it wasn’t mentioned … not till Edward comes home. The Barringtons might be a little put out. After all, it should have been said when they were all present. I think it should be kept just in the family… until Edward comes back.”

“Of course …” she said slowly. And she was looking at me intently. We had been very close all our lives. It had been something which had always comforted me, but at that moment I was wishing she did not know me quite so well.

She kissed me tenderly, said goodnight and left me alone with my thoughts.

I was too bewildered to sleep. I was hurt and angry. I felt I had been deceived but was not sure who had done the deceiving. Myself perhaps.

I was vain. Although I lacked Amaryllis’ angelic looks I had thought myself to possess superior physical attractions. Now I had learned a lesson.

But I was sure in the beginning I had been the one. What had made him change? And what did I really feel? Was I brokenhearted to have been jilted … or something near it? My pride had been deeply wounded. It was not exactly that I was in love. I hardly knew this man. I had had romantic thoughts of him largely because of the romantic circumstances in which we had met. As for Amaryllis she knew him even less, yet she had had time to fall in love with him.

I could not really understand myself. And why … oh why had I been so recklessly foolish as to tell them that Edward and I were engaged? And I
was
engaged to Edward now. I had used him shamefully to extricate myself from an embarrassing position. Why had I not paused to think for a moment? How much more dignified, how much more honest it would have been to have sat there and taken the blow on the chin—as they say—and tried not to show how much I was flinching.

How typical of me to flounder in and put myself in an even more awkward situation.

I had a very restless night and the next day went over to Grasslands. Mrs. Barrington had recovered from her cold and was as brisk as ever.

I asked after Edward and learned that he was coming back the next day. I was determined to see him at the first possible moment.

Amaryllis was in a state of bliss. Not only was she in love but, being Amaryllis, at the same time she could spare a little pleasure because I appeared to be in a similar state.

I consoled myself that if I had not made the announcement Amaryllis’ happiness would have been clouded because like my mother, and others perhaps, she had thought I was the target for Peter Lansdon’s affections. It gave her great happiness to believe that I was in love with someone else because it left her free to enjoy her own bliss without the slightest twinge of remorse.

“Of course I always knew how Edward felt about you,” she said, “but I thought you were undecided. You’ve been a long time making up your mind.”

“I wanted to be sure,” I told her.

She giggled happily. “Isn’t it strange that you were the cautious one this time? Peter and I just fell in love at first sight. Isn’t life wonderful? Just think… if that awful thing hadn’t happened to you, I should not be engaged now. I do think Peter was so very brave to go into that house like that.”

“Yes, he was.”

She hugged me. “It’s so wonderful. I’m so happy, Jessica. It will be marvellous to be married on the same day. We’ll have to think about June. It seems a long time to wait.”

“I think it would be a very good time,” I said.

“Peter says it is far too long.”

It was amazing to see Amaryllis thus and I almost reminded her that she hardly knew the man she was going to marry. A few weeks ago she had not even heard his name. But what was the use? She was in love and she was going to be married to the man of her choice. I should be married, too, but not to the man of mine.

Edward returned the following day. I went over to Grasslands in the early afternoon. He was delighted to see me.

I said to him: “I want to speak to you alone … soon.”

“Now?”

“Yes, away from the house. Could we go for a ride? That would be easiest.”

“Of course,” he said.

He looked a little strained, I fancied. I guessed it was the usual trouble at the factory but he brightened at my suggestion and I warmed towards him. He was a very good man and I was sure he would do everything he could to help me now … and always. I was very lucky to be loved by such a man, how perverse of me it was not to return his deep feeling and to be so much more excited by the company of a man I did not really know. That was how I was beginning to think of Peter Lansdon. How was it that he had made me feel that he was exclusively interested in me and then suddenly I discovered it was Amaryllis whom he intended to marry? I would always be sure of Edward.

In a very short time we were riding together.

“Edward,” I said, “I have a confession to make.”

“A confession?” He was startled. We were walking our horses and he pulled up to look at me.

I went on: “You have often asked me to marry you. Do you still want to?”

“I shall always want you, Jessica.”

Waves of relief swept over me.

I said: “My confession is that I have told them … told them that we are going to get married.”

“Jessica!”

“Yes. It was most immodest of me. Amaryllis became engaged to Peter Lansdon …”

“Amaryllis? But I thought…”

“Things are not always as they seem. He saved me in London and when he came here he fell in love with Amaryllis and she with him. They announced their engagement at the dinner table and I thought, well… why shouldn’t I tell them about Edward and myself…”

“Do you mean … ?”

“What I mean is that I thought we had hesitated long enough.”

“We?”

“I. Oh, I’ve been silly … young and foolish I suppose, not being sure when I should have been. So I said, Well they are not the only ones who can be engaged. Edward and I have known each other for longer than they have and there are many more reasons why we should be married, so …”

He took my hand and kissed it. “What an odd place to hear this … on the back of a horse.”

We laughed. His face was transformed. The lines of worry caused by the Nottingham rioters had disappeared. He looked young … and so happy.

“Well, Edward,” I said, “it had to happen, hadn’t it? It was inevitable. My parents are delighted. They have a great respect for you.”

“Mine will be delighted too.”

“Then there is delight all round.”

“Oh, Jessica, this is wonderful. Let’s ride back and tell them all about it.”

So it was as easy as that.

I was sitting in the drawing room at Grasslands. Mr. Barrington had insisted on bringing one of his finest wines from his cellar. Mrs. Barrington was twittering round in a state of great excitement.

“There, Jessica. You’re our daughter now. I can’t tell you how happy you’ve made us all. Isn’t that so, Father?”

Mr. Barrington said: “It is what we have always wanted. Why you had to be so long about it beats me.”

“It was right and proper,” said Mrs. Barrington, although I believed she had chafed at my procrastination more bitterly than her husband had. “One has to be sure about these things. That’s so, isn’t it, Jessica? What a wonderful day that was for us all when you picked up Father on the road and brought him home. I wonder what happened to that gypsy. He must have nearly served his time.”

“It was seven years,” I said. “He will have done six of them.”

“How time flies! You were such an earnest little thing then, Jessica. You cared so much about that poor man. We all loved you for it didn’t we?”

Barrington
Pere
and
Fils
agreed.

My spirits were lifted in their company. I thought what a delightful family they were—simple in a way compared with my parents, and so lovable. My family for the future.

Edward said: “I want Jessica to come to Nottingham to have a look at the house. There might be certain things she’ll want to alter.”

“Yes, it’s always nice for a bride to make changes. We furnished the house, didn’t we, Father… how many years ago? Too many to remember. It would be a little old-fashioned now, I shouldn’t wonder.”

“But it will only be a second home,” said Mr. Barrington. “You’ll be back at Grasslands. Grasslands has become the family home, even though we haven’t been here so long.”

“We loved Grasslands from the moment we saw it,” said Mrs. Barrington. “I’ve never regretted coming here and you know that is mainly because of the family at Eversleigh. And now this … I’ve wanted it for so long. By the way, where is Clare?”

“She’ll want to be in on this,” said Mr. Barrington.

“I remember. She said she was going into the town to do some shopping. She should be back soon. When is the wedding to be?”

“My mother thinks about June,” I told them.

“June’s a lovely month for a wedding.”

“It seems a long way ahead,” said Edward.

“Hark at the impatient bridegroom,” laughed his mother. “We’ll want a little time to get ready, won’t we, Jessica?”

“Amaryllis is getting married too,” I said.

“To that young man,” said Mrs. Barrington, faintly disapproving. “Well, that was quick work. She hardly knows him.”

“I met him in the most dramatic circumstances,” I said.

“I know… and brought him to Enderby. Well, it’s funny how things work out. I think it is better when people have known each other some little time. There are all sorts of things you have to learn about people if you’re going to live with them. Father and I were engaged … for how long was it, Father?”

“Two years,” he said promptly.

“And then we’d known each other since we were children.”

“It certainly turned out satisfactorily for you.”

“Well, you see, we knew what we were getting.”

“We knew what to be prepared for.”

Mrs. Barrington laughed heartily and at that moment Clare came in.

“Oh, there you are, Clare,” said Mrs. Barrington. “Come and hear the news. Get a glass for Clare, Father. It’s happened at last. Edward and Jessica are engaged.”

She stood very still and I noticed that one of her hands which was hanging at her side was clenched.

“Oh,” she said. “I thought…”

“We all thought they’d taken a long time about it,” said Mrs. Barrington. “But at last all is well.”

Clare turned to me. “Congratulations … And you, Edward.”

“We’re drinking to their health and happiness,” said Mr. Barrington. “Here you are, Clare.”

She took the glass and raised it. Her eyes, which were fixed on me, glittered oddly.

Did Edward know she was in love with him? Did the Barrington parents know?

I supposed not. She had been in the household since she was a little girl… an unwanted orphan taken in by distant relatives … treated as one of the family and yet feeling perhaps not quite one of them, although I was sure the Barringtons would have done everything possible to make her feel so. And she loved Edward … really loved him. It was not merely
her
vanity which was hurt.