The Reluctant Duke (19 page)

‘It’s—good of you to say so.’

‘But unexpected? ‘ he guessed dryly.

‘Maybe,’ she answered guardedly.

‘It really pains you to have to admit that I’m capable of doing anything decent, doesn’t it?’

‘Not at all,’ Lexie protested. ‘You have every right to want to make trouble for Premier Personnel after the way I behaved.’

Lucan regarded her quizzically. ‘I seem to remember that you said Premier Personnel belongs to your parents, and I have absolutely no reason to wish them harm.’

Just her, Lexie accepted heavily.

She had behaved badly the previous week. Worse than badly. She had been totally stupid in going anywhere near the St Claire family. All Lexie had done was rake up a past that would have been better left alone.

‘Thank you,’ she said softly.

Lucan leant back on his bar chair to look across at her.

‘You know, Lexie, I’m not sure I know what to do with all this self-flagellation!’ He gave a rueful shake of his head. ‘Where’s the woman who told me she doesn’t give a damn about anything I do or say? The woman who felt no hesitation in telling me exactly what she thought of me?’

Lexie gave a humourless smile. ‘She grew up.’

‘Pity,’ he drawled.

Her eyes widened. ‘You would rather I went back to being rude and outspoken?’

‘Hell, yes,’ Lucan assured her unhesitatingly. ‘At least then I’d have an excuse to kiss you into silence.’

Lexie stared across at him, her lips frozen on a silent
oh
of surprise. Shock, actually. Was Lucan saying he
wanted
an excuse to kiss her…?

Her mouth had gone as dry as her lips felt. ‘Do you need an excuse?’

‘Not really,’ he drawled. ‘But it might be handy to use in my defence when you turn on me like a wildcat afterwards!’

Lexie gave a slow shake of her head. ‘I don’t understand…’

Lucan grimaced, knowing he had a lot of things he needed to tell Lexie before they could even begin to talk about a relationship—the possibility of a relationship—between the two of them. He was here now because he owed Lexie the truth. He had no reason to believe that Lexie would want anything else from him once he had given her that.

‘No, I don’t suppose you do.’ He sighed, taking a sip of his own wine before continuing. ‘From what I said to you earlier, you will have gathered that I’ve seen and talked with both your grandmother and my mother since we last spoke together.’

‘Yes.’ Lexie still eyed him warily.

Lucan nodded. ‘What I haven’t explained is that they have also seen and spoken to each other.’

She gasped. ‘Nanna Sian and your mother?’ Her hand shook slightly as she carefully replaced her wine glass on the breakfast bar.

Lucan smiled. ‘My mother flew from Edinburgh to Gloucestershire with me yesterday.’

‘In the family-owned helicopter?’ she guessed.

‘As it happens, yes.’

‘Which you flew?’

‘Again, yes… Is there a problem with that?’ He frowned.

‘Not at all,’ Lexie assured him wryly; it only served as a reminder of the social and financial differences between the two of them, as well as the emotional ones. ‘So, your mother is in Gloucestershire talking to my Nanna Sian now,’ she said pointedly, still totally stunned at the idea of such a thing happening.

‘With
your Nanna Sian, not
to
her,’ Lucan corrected.

‘But why? ‘ Lexie stood up again restlessly. ‘What can the two of them possibly have to talk about after all these years?’

He shrugged. ‘I only brought them together, Lexie. I think it’s for the two of them to work out what they want to talk about.’

‘But why would you do such a thing?’ She groaned disbelievingly. ‘You all
hate
my poor Nanna!’ Her eyes flashed as she became angry. ‘If your mother says or does one single thing to hurt her—’

‘That’s better,’ Lucan said with satisfaction. He also stood up, instantly dwarfing Lexie’s kitchen—and her. ‘What else can I do or say that’s going to anger or annoy you?’

‘I’m already angry enough—
oof!’
Lexie’s breath left
her in a whoosh as Lucan pulled her into his arms and her chest came into hard contact with his. ‘Lucan, you—’

Any further protest was cut off as his head lowered and his mouth claimed hers.

Fiercely.

Hungrily.

Lucan continued to hold her, to kiss her, until Lexie stopped being so stunned, and then her arms moved slowly about his waist and she began to return those kisses with a hunger of her own. Deep, searing kisses that plundered the very heart of her.

Finally Lucan pulled back slightly to rest his forehead against hers. ‘It isn’t my intention, or my mother’s, to hurt your Nanna Sian, Lexie,’ he assured her gruffly. ‘What I did—what I’m trying to do—is put things right after all these years. Sort the situation out enough so that some of the hurt, at least, goes away.’

‘But why…?’ she asked in a hushed voice.

Good question, Lucan acknowledged self-derisively. And not one that he felt he could answer just yet.

He reached up to grasp Lexie’s arms and put her firmly away from him. ‘We still have a few things of our own to sort out, Lexie. Firstly, I did not, as you seem to think, stop your grandmother from attending my father’s funeral.’

‘But—’

‘It was your grandmother’s decision, Lexie. Not mine. Made, she assures me, because she didn’t want to cause any more hurt to my mother and the rest of Alexander’s family.’

‘But your mother wasn’t at the funeral—’

‘No, she wasn’t. But your grandmother didn’t know that,’ he pointed out gently. ‘It was also because she felt there had already been enough hurt caused because she and
Alexander loved each other that she consistently refused to marry my father when he asked her.’

‘What?’

‘It’s true, Lexie,’ he assured her softly. ‘If you don’t believe me, once we’ve finished talking you can telephone your grandmother and I’m sure she will confirm everything I’m going to say—okay?’

Lexie was starting to feel as if she were standing on a surface that kept moving beneath her feet. As if every preconceived idea she had ever had was being slowly, determinedly stripped away.

Could any of what Lucan was saying be true? He insisted that it was, knowing that Lexie could indeed telephone her grandmother at any time during this conversation.

‘Okay.’ Lexie nodded abruptly.

‘Let’s sit down and drink some more of our wine, Lexie,’ Lucan suggested huskily as he pulled back the bar stool for her. ‘I still have quite a bit more to say, and we might as well be comfortable,’ he added when she paused uncertainly.

Her mouth felt slightly swollen from the force of Lucan’s kisses, and her head was buzzing with the things he had already told her. ‘Fine.’ She sat back on the stool and watched him warily as he moved around the breakfast bar to sit opposite her. ‘My grandmother refused to marry your father…?’

Lucan smiled slightly. ‘Many, many times.’

‘She told you that.?’

‘Yes.’

‘And you believe her?’

‘Yes.’

Lexie picked up her wine glass and took a sip before speaking again. ‘I’m more confused than ever…’

‘Why she refused? Or why I believe her?’ Lucan prompted.

‘Both!’

His smile widened. ‘Yep, she’s still in there!’

She gave him a confused glance. ‘Who’s still in where?’

Lucan gave a slow shake of his head. ‘We haven’t got to that part of our conversation yet.’

Lexie scowled at him. ‘You can be incredibly annoying at times, Lucan!’

‘True,’ he accepted with an unapologetic grin. ‘Your grandmother told me a lot of other things that I never knew.’ He sat forward. ‘For instance, did you know that she and my father had known each other for years, loved each other for years, before he even met my mother?’

‘That can’t be true.’ Lexie slowly shook her head. ‘Nanna Sian had been married and was widowed. She had a daughter—my mother…’

‘The two of them knew each other before Sian married your natural grandfather, Lexie.’

Her eyes were wide. ‘I—But how?’

Lucan grimaced. ‘They grew up together on the Mulberry Hall estate. Alexander was the son and heir, your grandmother was the daughter of the cook. Needless to say, my own grandfather, the then Duke of Stourbridge, did not look favourably upon the relationship. To such a degree that he set about deliberately separating the two of them,’ he added grimly.

Lexie had a terrible feeling she knew exactly where this was going.

‘Alexander duly went off to university at Oxford, and within days of his leaving his father had the cook and her daughter relocated to a friend’s estate in Norfolk,’ Lucan continued darkly. ‘Sian and Alexander had agreed that he would write to her as soon as he had a mailing address, and that the two of them would continue to write to each
other until he came home at Christmas, when they would try once again to persuade his father into seeing how much in love they were.’ Lucan gave a disgusted shake of his head. ‘I believe you can guess what happened next?’

Lexie gave a pained frown. ‘Alexander’s letters to Sian were intercepted by the Duke as soon as they arrived at Mulberry Hall?’

A nerve pulsed in Lucan’s clenched jaw. ‘Intercepted and destroyed, rather than sent on to where Sian lived in Norfolk,’ he confirmed harshly. ‘As Sian’s letters to Alexander, also care of Mulberry Hall, were duly intercepted and destroyed.’

‘Resulting in Sian believing that Alexander had forgotten about her as soon as he was away at university,’ Lexie realised heavily.

‘Unbelievable, isn’t it?’ Lucan stood up again restlessly, his expression grim.

Lexie shook her head. ‘We didn’t have the same technology fifty years ago that we have today. No mobile phones. No email. Sian and Alexander’s only means of communication were those letters.’

Lucan nodded tersely. ‘Which neither of them received because of my grandfather’s intervention. When Alexander came home for the Christmas holidays his father told him that the cook and her daughter had simply handed in their notice and left. That he had no idea where they had gone. That Alexander should just accept that as far as Sian was concerned the relationship was obviously over, and he should just forget about her and get on with his life.’

‘It’s all so unbelievable it can only be true!’ Lexie said achingly.

‘Yes.’ Lucan drew in a harsh breath. ‘Sian eventually married a local boy in Norfolk and had your mother, and
my father finished university just in time to take over the running of the estate when his father died suddenly of a heart attack. Knowing what I do now, I’m not sure the old guy even had a heart to
be
attacked!’ he added disgustedly as he began to restlessly pace the small confines of the kitchen.

‘What he did was wicked and cruel.’ Lexie nodded. ‘But perhaps he thought he was acting for the best—’

‘Your grandmother made the same excuse for him,’ Lucan cut in wearily. ‘When in reality it
was
just wicked and cruel, as well as totally dishonest,’ he insisted firmly. ‘But for his interference my father and Sian would have married each other—could have been together for years before they eventually were!’

‘And then neither you, nor your two brothers, nor I, would ever have been born.’

The things Lucan had told her—even more of a Greek tragedy than Lexie could have imagined—were incredible. Incredible and so very sad. But, loving Lucan as she did, it was impossible for Lexie to imagine—selfishly—a world without the two of them in it.

‘My grandfather deliberately ruined two young people’s lives with his machinations.’ He gave a disgusted shake of his head. ‘Your grandmother has assured me that she was happy with your grandfather, and that she loved him. Not in the way she loved Alexander, but nevertheless she did love him. My father, on the other hand, threw all his energies into running the estate. He only married at all in the end because he needed to provide an heir for that estate. He was almost thirty and my mother only nineteen when they met and married each other. I’ve spoken to my mother about this, and she assures me it was always a
fragile relationship at best—and one that was completely blown apart the moment my father saw Sian again at a weekend house party given by a mutual friend they hadn’t even known they had.’

‘They never had an affair, Lucan,’ Lexie insisted firmly. ‘Admittedly, the two of them realising they were still in love with each other all those years later was wrong, so very wrong, when Alexander was married. But I know that they weren’t together again until after your father and mother were divorced.’

‘I know that, too.’

She raised dark brows. ‘Again from my grandmother?’

‘Yes.’

She smiled. ‘I’m sure you must have been something of a surprise to her! You look so much like Grandpa Alex,’ she explained huskily when Lucan looked at her questioningly.

He nodded, his gaze suddenly darkly intense. ‘Just as you look like your grandmother…’

Lexie felt the colour warm her cheeks. ‘Strange, isn’t it?’

‘Not strange at all.’ Lucan gave a slow shake of his head.

Lexie lowered her gaze, not sure what to say or do next now that Lucan had told her all these things. ‘I still don’t understand why, Lucan…’

‘Why what?’

She frowned. ‘Why you went to the trouble of speaking to my grandmother and your mother…’

Lucan looked at her quizzically. ‘Do you believe in fate, Lexie?’

‘In what context?’ she prompted warily.

He gave a rueful smile. ‘In the context that almost fifty
years after Alexander fell in love with Sian, against all the odds, against his better judgement, his eldest son has met and fallen in love with Sian’s granddaughter…!’

L
UCAN
had no idea what he had expected—hoped—Lexie’s reaction would be to his declaration of being in love with her.

Her complete and utter silence certainly wasn’t it!

She stared up at him with those huge blue eyes, her expression one of shock more than anything else.

Lucan thrust his hands into his trouser pockets. ‘Don’t look so worried, Lexie,’ he said wryly. ‘I’m not expecting some grand announcement of your having fallen in love with me, too. I just… Because of my parents’ divorce I didn’t want to even believe in love—was determined never to feel the emotion for any woman. And then I met you.’ His expression softened. ‘From that very first morning I knew you were different.’