The Reluctant Bridegroom (40 page)

Missy went through the parlor and walked into the large kitchen, where Rebekah was stirring something in a pot at the stove. Rebekah heard her come in and turned to see who it was. When she saw Missy, she panicked and dropped the spoon. “Missy! Is he—?”

“He’s fine!” Missy replied with a broad smile, and when Rebekah turned back to the stove abruptly to hide her face, Missy understood and went to put an arm around her. “It’s all right, Rebekah—God has spared him.”

“I’ve been so afraid . . . !” Missy held the girl close until Rebekah drew back and began to dab at her eyes. “Thanks for coming to tell me,” she said. “I’ll bet Joe is hopping for joy.”

“He is,” Missy beamed. “Maybe you’d like to go over and see Sky, Rebekah?”

“Oh no! I don’t think I ought to.”

There was something fearful in Rebekah’s face, which puzzled Missy. “Why—it would be good for him, Rebekah,” she insisted. “You’ve done as much of the nursing as I have.”

“I know—but he didn’t know I was there.” Rebekah clasped
her hands and walked over to the window. “He doesn’t want to see me, anyway. We’ve done nothing but hurt each other since the day we got married.”

“Come and sit down, Rebekah. I want you to tell me everything—all about yourself and your marriage.”

“You’ve heard most of it, I expect!” There was a defiant look in Rebekah’s eye, and she colored slightly. “Our grapevine works pretty well here in Oregon City.”

“Rebekah,” Missy reproved sternly, “I don’t give a sow’s ear for that sort of talk. But I’ve been talking to Rev. Penny, and he tells me you’re a Christian. Is that right?”

“Yes. I was saved at a meeting in New York, but—”

“Come and sit down, then, and begin as far back as you want.” Missy led her to the parlor, and after they were both seated she said, “God is going to do a work in my son’s life, Rebekah. Now, you tell me all about yourself—then we’ll know how to pray for you
both.
”

Her gentle words and kind face put Rebekah at ease immediately, and soon she found that it was not difficult to share her life with Sky’s mother. She began with her family history; then as Missy listened quietly, Rebekah told her something that she had never revealed to anyone else—how she had been betrayed by Tyler Marlowe.

By the time she was finished, the shadows were growing long, and both women were misty-eyed. “Sky was so good to the children—to Mary and Timmy,” Rebekah whispered. “Just like they were his own. But he’s got such a bitterness for his first wife . . . !”

“I know,” Missy responded gently, “and that’s what we’ve got to pray about—that he’ll be able to forgive Irene. Do you believe God can change him?”

Rebekah nodded slowly. “For a while I thought that Sky
had
started to change—” She broke off, thinking that she should not bring up the Jim O’Malley incident now. “But it didn’t last. Oh, Missy, I’ve been so alone! I guess I’ve just stopped believing in anything!”

“Then
start!
” Missy fell on her knees and began to cry out to God, and soon both women were engaged in such fervent prayer that they did not hear Edith come in. Seeing them there, Edith, too, began praying for the man who’d saved her husband’s life.

****

Missy allowed no visitors the next day, but within three days Sky’s room was filled with a constant swarm of company.

Jim O’Malley took up his station in a straight chair across from Sky’s bed, and laughed when Sky marveled at the number of people who came by. “Why, it’s the fate of a hero, Sky. You’ll run for office now for sure. Little fracas like you had, why, it ought to be enough to get you elected to Congress, at least!”

“I’d settle for a pair of pants and a chance to get out of this place, Jim,” Sky complained. “I appreciate folks being so nice, but to tell the truth, I’m feeling sort of hemmed in. Why don’t you get my clothes, and we can hightail it out of here?”

O’Malley grinned and shook his head. “You think I’m here because I like your company? Nope! Your ma made me promise to keep you in that bed. So, don’t even
think
about leaving until she says it’s all right.”

“Don’t know what I’d do without a good friend like you, Jim,” Winslow grumbled. “First you come and steal my wife—now you nominate yourself as chief guard to keep me from getting away.”

“Oh, I’ll give you your britches—soon as Missy tells me it’s all right. For now just lie back and enjoy it.”

Sky shook his head. “You got the bulge on me now, O’Malley,” he replied stubbornly. “But in a week, I’m headed for the mountains—if I have to shoot you in the foot to do it. Got a yen to see Yellowstone country again—maybe get a few beaver.”

“I don’t think so, Sky,” O’Malley commented. “They’re all gone. It was good while it lasted, but a man’s got to know
when to make a change. That’s why I come out of the mountains to the coast.”

“Maybe I’ll go to Canada,” Sky said dreamily.

“Why go anywhere, Sky?” O’Malley asked, his dark eyes fixed on Sky’s. “This is new country here. Biggest track of forest on the continent. There ain’t nothing better over the hill.”

Sky didn’t answer. O’Malley stared at him keenly, then went back to reading a book on sawmill operation. When Penny came into the room, Jim was more than happy to be relieved of his guard duty—besides, he was hungry.

“Boy, you look strong enough to chop wood,” Penny teased. “How much longer you gonna stay in that bed?”

Sky looked at the muscular preacher. “Lot, you want to help me?”

Lot smiled warily. “I want to help you find God, Sky—but I been warned by your ma that Oregon won’t hold me if I let you outta this room.” He laughed at Sky’s crestfallen expression and sat down. “Doc tells me you’ll be up and about in a couple of days, anyway—so just enjoy it.”

“Not much fun staring at the ceiling, Lot—thinking of all the mistakes I’ve made.”

“We all got our pasts to live with, boy,” Penny said quietly. “But God’s got a short memory for some things. He can’t remember nothin’ that’s under the blood!”

“You really believe that, don’t you, Lot? My folks do, too.” A pensive look crossed Winslow’s face. “Wonder why some fellows have so much trouble thinkin’ that way? I’ve heard about Jesus most of my life—and I don’t doubt a word of the Bible—but it’s never helped me. I’ve done nothing right since—”

Penny was listening intently. “Since you married a woman who let you down—is that what you were fixing to say?”

Sky grunted with irritation. “Everybody knows my business, it seems. Don’t you folks have anything better to do than sit around and discuss
my
problems?” Then he caught
a glimpse of Penny’s face and regretted his words. “Sorry, Lot. Guess I’m just touchy these days.”

“It’s all right, Sky,” Penny replied soberly. “But what you don’t see is that you’ve got the whole world right in the middle of your hand—and you’re too stubborn to take it!”

Sky shook his head. “It’s not that easy, Lot. I’ve got hard feelings toward Irene—and they’ve been with me so long, I can’t just cut them out and throw them away.” Penny didn’t say anything, so Sky added angrily, “Don’t you think I’d like to?”

“Hatred gets to be sort of a pleasure after we let it live in us for a spell,” Lot commented. “Don’t know why that is—but it’s so. My daddy was a hard man—a no-good man, everybody said. Many a time he beat me so bad I couldn’t walk. When I left home, I had two dollars and a heart full of hate. Took me twenty years to get rid of it—but when it was gone, it was like coming out of a deep cave into the sunlight!”

Sky studied the man’s honest face, then asked quietly, “How’d you do it, Lot?”

“I stopped looking at my pa and started looking at
me.
” Penny’s smile was crooked as he added, “When I saw some of the sorry things
I’d
done, why, Pa’s orneriness didn’t seem near so bad!” Penny got up to leave. “I been talking to your dad a lot. Don’t know as I ever met a man I took to any more. He’s been telling me all about the Winslows. Seems like most of ’em had a real struggle getting God in their lives. But they all made it—so I’m bettin’ that you’ll make it too, Sky.”

Soon after the preacher had gone, Missy came by and brought Sky a snack, then left him reading Winslow’s journal.

He waited until the house was still. When he knew it was safe, he got up and moved gingerly to the hall. For a couple of days Sky had practiced walking, and now felt much stronger than he’d thought possible. Carefully, he pulled his clothing from pegs in the hall where he’d seen Missy hang them, and dressed in the darkness. He left the house, making no more noise than a Sioux on the prowl, and went to the barn, which
was fifty yards behind the house. His horse nickered when he entered, but he calmed it by speaking quietly, and with some effort he saddled the animal. It was a struggle to pull himself into the saddle, but he made it, and left the yard at a walk, turning the horse’s head toward the home place.

He had brought just two items in the saddlebags—a Bible and a copy of
The Journal of Gilbert Winslow,
but his mind was set on only one thing—finding peace. The ride had not been easy, and it took all the strength he had to make it to the house—almost falling off the horse once. He pulled the saddlebags off, left the horse standing free, and staggered inside, dropping heavily on the bed. Five hours later, he awoke, his wounds aching and his lips dry with thirst.

After getting a long drink from the well, Sky went to the kitchen and ate a little canned meat. His thirst and hunger satisfied, he took the two books from the saddlebags and spread them out on the table. Sitting there with an air of finality, he stared at the books for several minutes. Then with a sigh, he bowed his head and prayed softly, “All right, God—I’m here!” He waited quietly before continuing. “You know I hate Irene,” he said. “It’s been eating me alive for years. Now, I can’t seem to change that—but folks who know you tell me that you can do it. So here I sit, Lord. If I’m not willing to be what you want—why, you’ll just have to
make
me be willing!”

Slowly he pulled the Bible toward him, opened it, and began to read. He read until the sun came up; then he blew out the light and continued to read, though his vision was blurred. With determination he said stubbornly, “Lord, I’m waiting for you.” Sensing no response, he went on reading.

All morning long he sat there, and finally at noon he dropped to his knees and began to call on God in a broken voice. He felt as though God were breaking him in two with mighty blows, and he cried out in great choking sobs.

When his strength gave out, he lay prone on the floor, shaken by the waves of pain and regret. It was as if his whole life unrolled before him, and he saw things he’d forgotten—how
he’d wronged this man, and betrayed the trust of another. Each time he saw a wrong, he’d cry bitterly, “I’m sorry about that, Lord!”

Then he saw Irene’s face. He thought of how she’d deceived him, how she’d spurned his love in so many ways. As scene after scene flashed before him, the hatred that had been lying in his heart for years leaped up like a live flame.

He forced himself to recall those agonizing years with her; then he directed his full attention to his own life just like Lot Penny had done. As he saw the ugly sordidness of his past, the miracle happened. The full weight of his sin fell upon his conscience, and he cried out as though he’d been stabbed, “Oh, God! I forgive her! I forgive her—I’m worse than she ever was!”

The words were barely out of his mouth when a peace came over him. It was as if he’d been in a raging storm, with wild winds knocking the boat to pieces—and suddenly, the waves stilled and the wind became soft and gentle.

He lay there for a long time, weeping—but now for joy. After a while, he rose to his feet. The house seemed too small, and he left, taking the path to the creek. When he got to the deep pool, he sat down and began to pray again, but this time it was a prayer of thanksgiving, not of despair.

He didn’t know how long he’d sat there before he became aware of someone calling his name. Getting to his feet, he started toward the sound just as Rebekah came running down the path. When she saw him, she stopped abruptly, staring.

“Rebekah!” he cried urgently. Going to her, he saw her ashen face. “What’s wrong? Are the kids all right?”

His question made her heart warm. “Yes, Sky, they’re all right,” she assured. “But
you
scared us all to death,” she chided. “Everyone’s out looking for you!”

He dropped his eyes sheepishly. “Why, I never thought of that, Rebekah. I just had to get away.”

“Couldn’t you at least have told Missy?”

He seemed not to hear the question. “Rebekah, are you going to marry Jim?”

The unexpected question made her lips open slightly with a startled look. Silently she searched his face, then shook her head with certainty. “Of course not! That was all his crazy idea, Sky. He doesn’t love me—and I don’t love him.”

Sky took a deep breath and exhaled with relief. “Well, if you’re not going to marry him—would you marry me?”

For one moment, Rebekah thought he’d lost his mind. He was waiting for her answer with an eagerness she’d never seen before. “Why, Mr. Winslow!” she said pertly. “I
am
married to you!”

“Not yet, you’re not,” he countered, taking her by both arms.

“What are you doing?” she whispered, her eyes luminous with a mixture of wonder and perplexity.

“Proposing,” he replied firmly. The joy in his blue eyes reflected the fullness that welled up in his heart. “I want a wife, not a servant! And I want Lot Penny to marry us—like people should be married, with a preacher praying over them. And I want Joe to be your son—and Timmy and Mary to be my kids. And I want—!”

“What’s happened to you, Sky?” Rebekah cried excitedly.

He pulled her close. “Lots of things, Rebekah. I’ve got some sense at last. I’ve learned to let Irene rest in her grave, for one thing!”

Rebekah lifted her head and her lips parted. “Are you sure, Sky?”

“Yes, I am—and there’s more! I’ve been on God’s trail all night, Rebekah—and just a little while ago, I found Him! Well, I guess it’s more like He found
me!
” he added with awe. “I’ve been searching how to find God for a long time—and now I don’t see how I could have missed Him! He’s like a pillar of fire! You can’t miss Him—if you’ll just look in the right place!”