The Reluctant Bride (5 page)

“You should have told me about any condition before I paid for you to come out here. What is it?”

“I don’t want to have any children.”

Chapter Three

Russ had never heard of a woman who didn’t want children. He considered having children a part of having a wife. In his mind a family came as a unit, the parts inseparable from one another. “Why don’t you want children?” he asked.

“Do you?”

“Of course. What man doesn’t?”

“Some men don’t. Why do you want them?”

“I have to have somebody to leave the ranch to.”

“You can leave it to your wife, your hands, your local school district, even your church.”

“Why would I work so hard to build a ranch, then leave it to strangers?”

“So you could make a good living for yourself and provide your wife with a few luxuries. It’s also a way to prove to people you’re a success, a way to prove you’re just as important as Stocker Pullet.”

None of that appealed to him. It wasn’t that what she said was wrong, but somehow not having children left a hole in the middle of everything. He didn’t need children to run the household or do the work on the ranch. It would be easier to hire someone to do those jobs. So why did he want them? Certainly not to wake him up in the middle of the night crying, or to waste his money on gambling or extravagant weddings.

“Don’t you have any family you can leave it to?” Tanzy asked.

“No. My mother lost touch with her family after she and her first husband came West. When he was killed in a freighting accident, she needed someone to support her, her young daughter, and the baby she was carrying. Her second husband didn’t like me. He resented that I ate so much food, was so big, so restless, and was always getting into trouble.”

He hadn’t meant to tell Tanzy so much about himself, hadn’t even realized how much he still resented the way his mother sided with any man against him. Russ had always felt alone even when he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Why are you so set against children?” Russ asked.

“I’m not set against children, just what they can do to a woman. Children may be important to men, but they’re an integral part of a woman’s life. We carry them, nurse them, take care of their hurts of body and soul. My mother had four sons and one daughter, and she loved us as much as any woman could. Yet she had to watch those four sons die because of a stupid feud that has been going on for more than a generation. I watched her die a little bit every time, until finally she just didn’t want to live anymore.”

“So you aren’t the one who felt the loss.”

She reacted almost as if he’d slapped her. They were my brothers. Of course I felt the loss. No families are closer than mountain families, and no women work harder to take care of their men than mountain women. Seeing my brothers die was practically like losing my own children. I couldn’t feel the loss as much as my mother, but I felt it. I feel it now.”

When she paused he thought she might be about to cry. But though she seemed emotional, she remained dry-eyed.

“I won’t bring children into the middle of a feud where I’ll have to watch them be killed or emotionally devastated. Understand that I do want a family, but I will agree to have one only when I’m convinced they can grow up in safety.”

“Any woman who becomes a wife must expect to have children. It’s just the way things are.”

“Not all women have children.”

“Are you telling me that you don’t intend to have any physical relationship with your husband?”

“I’d never do that.”

“Then how do you expect to avoid having children?”

“There are ways … there are times …” She flushed and looked uncomfortable. “I can’t explain it here. I feel like everybody’s listening.”

Russ was sure people were straining to pick up any fragment of their conversation, but this was too important to put off. “Let’s say we try these ways, observe these times, and you still end up having children. What would you do?” He didn’t know anything about the ways and times she talked about. No woman had ever explained it to him. He just assumed that every woman who slept with a man would have babies. “Would you hate the baby, turn your back on it, or give it away?”

“What kind of person do you think I am? No decent woman could hate her own child.”

“I don’t yet know what kind of woman you are,” Russ said, “but I believe you’re honest and willing to keep your promises. But any woman who fulfills her wifely duties to her husband knows there’s the possibility of having children, no matter how careful they might be. Life never goes exactly as we plan. I wanted to know what you’d do if your plans got all messed up.”

“The best I could,” Tanzy said. “That’s all I can promise.”

That’s all anyone can expect.” Russ looked around, realized the staff was waiting to close up the restaurant. “Wed better go.”

“Where are you staying?”

“At the boardinghouse.”

“Has Stocker forced the folks there to hate you, too?”

“They don’t care who sleeps in their beds as long as they get paid ahead of time.” They had reached the lobby. “I have to go back to the ranch tomorrow, but I’ll be back. If something should happen to keep me there past dinner, don’t worry. It’s a long ride and all kinds of things can hold me up.”

“Like what?”

This is basically wild country. There wasn’t much of anybody out here until gold was discovered just before the war. The cattle we run are wild, the horses we ride were born mustangs, and the mountains are filled with bears, wolves, and cougars.”

Tanzy shivered. “I didn’t realize.”

“The land itself is mountainous, not suited for people. If a man falls off his horse, he faces a long walk home, sometimes more than one day.”

“Are you trying to tell me I could easily become a widow?”

“I’m trying to say we get where we’re supposed to be, but sometimes we’re a bit late.” He took some coins from his pocket. “You’ll need to buy some clothes. You’ll freeze to death in that thin dress come the first snow.”

“We have snow in Kentucky.”

“Do you get drifts over twenty feet high and temperatures twenty degrees below zero?”

“Okay, I’ll look for something warm,” she said, taking the money. There was an awkward moment; neither was quite sure how to end the evening. Finally Russ thrust his hand forward. “It was nice to meet you. I’m looking forward to getting to know more about you.”

Tanzy returned his handshake.

“Now I’d better be going. I don’t want some miner to steal my bed.”

But Russ didn’t leave because he was worried about his bed. He ran away because he was confused about his reaction to Tanzy.

He wasn’t too worried about her not wanting children. It would take some careful persuading, but he could make her understand he wasn’t feuding with Stocker. What bothered him was the fact that he was considering using careful persuasion to talk his wife into anything. He believed a good woman should be guided in everything by her husband. As long as he wasn’t weak, cruel, or abusive, she should never question his judgment. So why was he even considering
carefully persuading
Tanzy?

He’d just met her today. How could he be attracted to her so soon? He didn’t believe in love and didn’t want it. It had made his mother, his sister, even his stepfather weak, vulnerable, unable to withstand the temptations that ultimately destroyed them. He wanted a wife he liked, whom he could respect, with whom he could set up a smooth working relationship. She would know her duties and responsibilities and would fulfill them. He would do the same, and they would live together comfortably into old age.

But there was something about Tanzy that didn’t fit in that picture. At first he thought it was her looks. She was a damned fine-looking woman, and he was enough of a man to be strongly attracted to her. He wasn’t a saint, but he didn’t believe in sleeping with any woman just because she was available. It had been so long since he’d been with a woman, he’d practically forgotten what it was like.

Well, no, it was remembering what it was like that got him so interested in Tanzy.

She wasn’t a biddable female. She’d dragged him off to the doctor like a naughty boy, then threatened to destroy the doctor’s house. It had been funny in a way, but there was no reason to think she wouldn’t turn that crazy, wild temper against him. That was something he definitely didn’t want in a wife.

Then there was this business of making conditions that she had plunked down right in front of him without a word of apology. She expected him to agree to them or the deal was off. He’d seen his mother lead her husband around by the nose too many times to want that in a wife.

So what was it about Tanzy that had grabbed hold of him and wouldn’t let go?

Damned if he knew, but he’d better find out before he did something stupid.

Tanzy went to her room with an uneasy mind. Too many things about Russ Tibbolt made her uncomfortable.

First, he was too good-looking. Lots of women probably thought they wanted a handsome husband, but that was only because they were too foolish to realize how much trouble good looks could cause. If he was all that handsome, he’d be able to talk her into doing just about anything he wanted, even things she really didn’t want to do.

Tanzy didn’t want a husband or anybody else who could talk her out of what she knew was sensible and right. It was clear he didn’t agree with her worry about having children. He was probably already thinking of ways to get her to change her mind, and she was honest enough to admit that Russ Tibbolt just might be able to do it.

If he was all that irresistible to his wife, he would be just as irresistible to other women. He would be faced with constant temptations to stray. The only man who wouldn’t stray was a man who didn’t get any offers. So there she’d be, foolishly in love with her husband and jealous of every female. Better a homely man who was thankful for what he had than a handsome one always sampling to see if he could find something better.

Then there was this problem with people not liking Russ. She knew it wasn’t the same as a feud, but it was too close to suit her. She had left home to get away from killing, regardless of the reasons for it.

But there was something else, a kind of stiff-necked stubbornness that reminded her of her father and brothers. They would never accept any opinion that wasn’t their own. She got the feeling Russ expected to be the only one to make decisions. She, on the other hand, expected each of them to have separate spheres of influence and responsibility, with clear rules to keep things from getting mixed up. As his wife, she would have certain rights and privileges and her husband would have to respect them.

Her mother had never had any of those rights and privileges. What made her think Russ would be interested in giving her any?

“Did you have a nice dinner?”

Archie’s voice startled her. “Yes.”

“I wondered if people would cause trouble.”

“A man called Henry tried to throw Russ out of the restaurant, but Russ hardly paid him any attention. Good night.”

But as she got ready for bed, Archie’s words came back to her. Obviously he had expected people to be rude to Russ. Was that why she felt this strange attraction to him, this need to do something about what she felt was unfair treatment? She certainly couldn’t be foolish enough to think Russ needed her to defend him, yet at the same time that was exactly what she wanted to do. It was what she
had done
when the doctor wouldn’t treat his wound.

She had to do some hard thinking. She had come west to escape trouble, not run into more of it. It began to look as though there might be some very good reasons to reconsider her decision to marry this man. But what she really needed to know was why, in the face of these reasons, she felt that Russ Tibbolt was the man who could make her dreams come true.

Russ gave his distinctive whistle, the one all his men used to signal that they were coming inside the ring of protection. He was pleased to hear it echo back to him from two directions, one plain and simple, one with a little flourish at the end. Oren and Tim. Tim never could do things the simple way. He always added something of his own.

“Have any trouble coming in?” Welt Allard asked Russ when he reach the corral behind the ranch house. It was still several hours before dawn, but a man riding in the open could be seen at a distance of several hundred yards.

“Not tonight.” He dismounted and started to unsaddle his tired horse.

“How did it go? What’s she like?”

Russ was surprised to find he was reluctant to discuss Tanzy, even with his best friend. “It’s early days yet. I get the feeling both of us have more expectations of the other than we thought.”

“Is she that ugly?”

Russ laughed. “She’s very pretty. No, I think we’re finding we didn’t know our minds as well as we thought. It’s real easy to think about marrying somebody you’ve never seen, but it’s not so simple when you’re sitting across the table from each other.”

“I don’t see what’s so hard. Either she wants to marry you or she doesn’t.” Welt had been the one to convince Russ to consider a mail-order bride. He had actually written the letters for Russ.