The Real Trap Wives Of Memphis (14 page)

Walking into Alisha’s room I focused my eyes in on her. She was lying in the bed looking up at the ceiling. You could tell that her mind was wandering into deep dark places that she didn't need to be exploring. The plan was to help her as much as I could. She was better than this. She finally looked up at me when I called her name. She had bags under her eyes and it further let me know that she had been sleep deprived.

“Hey, how long have you been here?”

“Not long at all. I just walked in here a few seconds ago.”

“You look so beautiful, what’s the special occasion? I know you didn’t get sexy just to come see me.”

“Today is our four year anniversary,” I squealed.

“Damn, four whole years. You look amazing, Kay.” I could see her beginning to get emotional from the way that she was looking at me.

 “Lisha?”

“Yes, Kay?”

“Don't be in here feeling down and out over spilled milk because you will always be hurting and mentally strained if you do. You and my Godson deserve better so you have to be strong for him. I know you hurting boo but you gotta think about lil’ one,” I said rubbing her stomach. I tried to hand her bags, but she motioned for me to sit them down.

“I'm okay, Kay, but my heart is broken and it hurts every time I think about me trying to stop loving and caring for Kortez. How can I just stop loving the only man I ever really loved? I can't believe he cheated on me and created kids on me? How could he hurt me like this? I been his day one Kay; his fuckin’ day one.”

Just like I knew they would my eyes began to tear up. I fanned my face to keep from destroying my makeup. “I can't answer why he did that to you. All I can do is be here for you in your time of need. I can't make that decision for you as far as it is concerning Kortez and I hate that you feel like this, but things will be better soon. You have to have faith and watch how things change for the better.”

“He did me dirty. Him out of all people should never hurt me, he knows better. He’s fucking with my feelings and I'm highly disappointed with him. It feels like he never loved me. I have been victimized by love. I hate feeling like I have been bamboozled this whole time.”

“Yes, I do agree with you and he was wrong for what he did. And I totally agree with you when you say that he fucked with your feelings. Boo you and Legacy are the fiercest women I know. You have to be stronger than this. You always gonna have us to help you in any situation, but you have to stand up for what you deserve.” I smoothed her hair back with my hand as she closed her eyes.

“I am trying as hard as I can to keep a positive attitude.”

              “Look on the bright side; you are alive, the baby is okay and you have your diamonds with you,” I asserted.

“My diamonds?” she stated with a confused look on her face.

“Yes, Legacy and I are your diamonds, bitch. We are the most valuable things in your life.”

“Girl, get your life,” Alisha replied.

We laughed so hard that I damn near coughed up a lung. Once I got my composure, I handed Alisha the goody filled bag that I prepared for her. I was going to be a listening ear, but she needed something for the days that we couldn't be there for her.

“What is all this? Makayla you didn't have to go out and get me anything.”

“I got you a few of your favorite things, including a fancy purple notebook. Maybe it will help you with your emotions or whatever is eating at your heart. Write any and everything that you are feeling. You have been so down and this is just what you need. You need to write down the things that you’re experiencing to help release it all. Cry your heart out on the pages and I promise that you will feel relieved.”

“Thank you so much. What would I do without you? This may just work. My feelings have been accumulating and it has been causing me severe headaches. I have been extremely weak and the doctors have been forcing me to eat. This is not me at all. Hell, I thought you were the weakest link,” she joked. I couldn’t even trip because I knew she was telling the truth. I was the cry baby normally and here she was blubbering.

              “You ain’t have to call me out like that, bitch,” I replied.

“I'm starting to feel much better already. Thanks again, Kay.”

Legacy walked through the doors just in time because I was about to go and I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving Alisha by herself just yet.

Legacy walked in a wearing a black mini dress that zipped all the way down the middle. Her gold thigh boots were peep toes that made her appear six feet tall. The burgundy lipstick complimented her buttery brown skin and the black liner made her slanted eyes appear even more tight than usual. Of course the bitch’s waves were on fleek as usual. She always had to show out.

“I’m pleased to hear that you are feeling better. I thought I was going to have to kill Kortez ass!” She popped off as soon as she got in the room good.

“Bitch, it's about time. It sure did take you long enough to get here. Be easy and take care of my girl. I have to go so I won't be late! Alisha remember what I said. Love you.”

Alisha blew me a kiss and I hugged Legacy before making my exit.

“Don’t get pregnant like our little fast ass friend over here,” Legacy said as she pointed at Alisha, causing us all to break out in laughter. Dr. Rashine walked into the room just as I was making my way out. I looked him up and down just like he looked at me. He had a clipboard in hand and a glass of ice water along with what looked like prenatal pills.

“It’s good to see that you're smiling and laughing. The last time I came here you were crying. I came as soon as I heard you had guests, but I see this is a good thing for you. It’s good for you to have your friends around.”

I was relieved because I didn’t want to have to cuss him out.

“Okay, nice seeing you again Doc. I have to go now.” I slid out of the hospital rushing. I wanted my baby to know that I was not about to be late. I grabbed my cell phone and called Davion to let him know that I would be pulling up at the house. I rode home singing along to
Whitney Houston
because I wanted to believe in him and me.

When I pulled up Davion’s car was already parked out front. As I got out of my car and walked to the front door, music could be heard blaring through the speakers of the house. Davion opened up the door for me wearing his sexy smile. He also had my favorite song,
Never Want to Leave You,
by Eric Benet playing. He was mouthing out the words, making me blush like a school girl. My baby was looking like a million bucks with his all black and brown Ralph Lauren shirt along with the matching Ralph Lauren jeans and his black polo boots.

This was the fresh air that we needed. I didn't know what surprises he had in store for me, but I damn sure was very excited about my day with my husband.

“What surprises are you holding today? I know that you have something up your sleeve,” I mumbled in between kisses.

“Yeah you gon’ get all that after we get to dinner. Come on because we got about 45 minutes and I gotta’ drive way out.” I followed him out of the door to his red Chrysler 300 that he had just had professionally cleaned. I screamed when I walked around to the passenger side stepping in glass. The passenger side door had been keyed and the window was busted. A note was attached to the side of the car being held on by a piece of chewed gum.

“The fuck!” he yelled trying to snatch the note away from me, but I elbowed him. My hands shook as I unfolded it. He walked back towards the house snatching his phone out of his pocket.

Yeah you thought I was gonna keep on swallowing your babies and let you play me? You got the game fucked up. You told me you cared about me and then I find out you still fuckin’ married. Yeah social media will get you caught up. But that ain’t even the half of it. That nigga that you and your home boys jumped on yesterday was my cousin. Breland don’t bother nobody and just so you know I’m a make sure you get caught the fuck up. Yeah I saw that your little anniversary was today so I guess I will give you a gift.

I scrolled down reading what was taped onto the bottom of the paper. When I saw the positive HPV results I balled up the paper, took off my shoes and ran in the house slamming the door behind me.

CHAPTER NINE

                                                Breaking Point

ALISHA

My days seemed longer and my nights shorter.  I felt damaged and it reflected in my actions. It was hard for me to focus when I could barely eat like I needed to for my unborn son. I had so much time to think that I had even chosen the name Kelontae for my son. He was the only reason that I tried to eat, and the only reason I tried my best to stop going into the crying spells. I just couldn't help myself. Pain outweighed my strength.

I decided to be strong and fight my demons by releasing my deepest thoughts and emotions onto paper. I felt like nothing that I could say or do would change the fact that the baby growing inside of me needed me to be whole. After I finished I looked down at what I had wrote. I had let Legacy read part of it when she was here, but now I needed to feel the words for myself.  I took a deep breath before clearing my throat to read.

Finding Love in A Lie

How could he hurt me like this?  How could he treat me like we never had something incredibly special? How could he lay up under me in the bed touching me, holding me and loving me every day and pretend that we would be forever? Why would he make me fall in love with him? I trusted him. He played the part very well. I trusted him with my mind, body and soul and he took advantage of it all. My love was hard to capture but he accomplished that within a short period of time. Three and a half years wasted. Three and a half years of lovemaking, soul touching, breathtaking, motivational inspiration and this is the bullshit that he pulls. My heart has been tied up and toyed with. How could he put a bullet-sized hole in my heart by stabbing me with his words? See I was high off of love and too excited and blinded to see the visible truth. I never saw this coming even though all the signs were clearly in front of my face. I feel cursed. I married that monster from my nightmare. A monster that normally only hurt me in my dreams came seeping out of my nightmares and to haunt me in reality. I want to break things, slam doors, fight, punch kick and scream, but I can't play the blame game. I won't drag your name through the mud. I was the one in love with a lie. What a beautiful, sweet, disgusting, perfect lie it was. I have officially been victimized to the violently captivating alluring love. My last resort of happiness was allowing love inside of my big bright beating heart. Love was my amazingly, dark, twisted, momentarily truth. You were supposed to protect my heart like you protected me from harm’s way. You were supposed to be my best friend. How could you stoop so low?

I thought you were always going to be my gentleman; not a wolf disguised in a sheep's wool. The image that you portrayed indeed exceedingly gave me life. This is coming from a family oriented man, a man that's been continuously hurt, devoured and spit out to the world. How could you not honor my heart with the same genuine respect that I honored yours with? I’m now pregnant with a child that didn't ask to be here and is already seeing me cry and suffer in pain. He hasn't made it to the world and is already suffering from my pain that I'm feeling. He is already experiencing an emotional rollercoaster that he can't understand. He deserves the world. But the state of mind that I am in, I can't give him anything. I can either give him life or death and I choose life for him so I have to release my emotions. I will never forget how it felt finding love in a lie.

              I was mentally and physically exhausted which led me to stop thinking clearly. Before I lost my courage, I picked up the phone and called Kortez’s number. I needed to hear his voice to see if it changed anything about the way I felt. I wanted so bad not to love him anymore.

              “So you must be out your feelings now,” he answered gruffly, not even sounding like himself.

              “Hey Kortez. I was just thinking that maybe we did need to talk.” He got quiet when I heard what sounded like another female in the background. I could hear him shushing whoever it was.

              “Oh nah today is no good for me. You see I tried to come see about you yesterday but I got thrown out the hospital like used needles. Yeah a nigga got roughed up a little because of your stubborn ass. Damn bae watch your teeth,” he whispered, not even caring if I heard. My throat went dry as the phone dropped. “Open your mouth all the way up.” I could clearly hear the sound of a girl gagging on his dick, but I couldn’t force myself to hang up the phone. A loud slapping sound made me jump. “I told you I’m a slap you every time you bite. This ain’t your first time ma. Take all daddy’s dick. Yeah that’s right,” he moaned. I hung up my phone as the bile rose to my throat. I had just enough time to grab my bed pan before I emptied my stomach all over myself. There was no way I could salvage this marriage. I would have to get used to the idea of being a single mother.

CHAPTER TEN                                           

Everything that Glitters is not Gold

KORTEZ

             
I stumbled out of my drunken stupor and barely landed on the couch with my bowl of cereal. I looked like shit and I didn’t really give a fuck. My phone had been blowing up, but I let Alonzo answer it. After finding out that Davion, Jacori, Javon and him had beat the fuck out of Breland, I was making sure to keep Alonzo close. Besides if he was over here then I would be able to dick down Plum’s nasty ass every time I walked out of the house. I came inside every hole in her body, even her ears, and I still wasn’t satisfied. I wanted my wife.