The Ranger (17 page)

God, he’d been right. Horribly right. She’d been a hair’s breadth—or in this case, a puppy’s whinge—away from doing something disastrous.

His kiss. His tongue. Dear Lord, the incredible sensations of his hands on her breasts. They’d felt too good. She hadn’t wanted it to stop. She’d been swept up in desire far beyond her experience to resist. Instinct had overtaken caution, pleasure had overtaken reason, the primal urge to join with him had drowned everything else in its wake.

Her body had been tingling for him. Flushed and eager for his touch. The place between her legs had been—her cheeks heated—
damp
.

He could have taken her innocence with little resistance. Tears poured from her eyes and a harsh sob tore from her chest. Nay, with
no
resistance.

Her heart squeezed at the appalling truth. She’d wanted him. Enough to do something inconceivable. Something rash and foolish that could never be undone.

But it hadn’t been just about lust. At least not for her. When he’d held her in his arms and kissed her, Anna had been overwhelmed with emotion. What she felt for him was intense ... powerful ... 
different
.

Yet the kiss that had meant so much to her had merely been some cruel lesson to him—a means of discouraging her “shadowing him.”

The accusation was all the more humiliating for its truth. She
had
been chasing after him, and if it had been only about her father’s request, it might not have been so bad. But after what had just happened, she was forced to admit the truth: it hadn’t been about just doing a job for her father. Her interest in him had been just as much about her as it had her father. Perhaps more so.

His cruel lesson worked. The next morning, with the tears if not the hurt that spawned them behind her, Anna reported her findings to her father. Sir Arthur Campbell was exactly as he appeared: an able, ambitious knight focused on the upcoming battle. Any lingering doubts that he was hiding something, she pushed aside.

Satisfied by her estimation, her father instructed her to cease her efforts. Her attention in the young knight had been remarked upon and her father didn’t want Sir Arthur to grow suspicious.

Anna didn’t tell him that it was too late for that.

Relieved to be free of her duty, she kept to her room for the remainder of the day. Though she loved nothing more than to be surrounded by her family and a brimming Hall full of clansmen, today was the rare occasion when she wanted to be by herself. She also feared her low spirits would be obvious and didn’t want to draw unwanted concern from her well-meaning mother and sisters. Moreover, she was still feeling far too vulnerable after that kiss to chance running into him.

It was cowardly, perhaps, but she needed time to think. She’d replayed what had happened over and over in her mind, and each time she became more convinced that she hadn’t been wrong.

He couldn’t kiss her like that and not feel
something
. He’d wanted her to think it had been only lust, but in her heart she knew it was something more.

Yet, for some reason he was intent on pushing her away. His coldness and cruel words seemed calculated to do just that.

But why?

And more importantly, why was she so desperate to find a reason?

Because she cared, and it seemed she was harboring some silly, childish hope that maybe he hadn’t meant what he’d said. That maybe he cared, too.

It shouldn’t matter. He was all wrong for her. A cold, remote warrior who didn’t care about anyone or anything other than fighting the next battle.

But as much as she wanted to put him in that box, he didn’t quite fit.

He wasn’t nearly as unfeeling as he wanted her to think. She had seen glimpses of emotion when he’d caught her after she’d stumbled off the hillside, and when he’d saved her and Squire from the wolves. Then, the way he’d kissed her had left no doubt that he was a man capable of deep emotion.

She’d never been attracted to warriors before, but with Arthur it was just the opposite: she’d never been so attracted to a man—or his body—in her life. Who knew muscles could be so ... arousing? His battle-hard physique should represent everything she hated about war, but in his arms she’d never felt so safe and protected.

And the sketch. That had been the most surprising thing. That the same hand that wielded a sword and spear with such devastation could draw with such deft skill and beauty ...

Arthur Campbell wasn’t a typical warrior. There was more to him. From the first she’d sensed something different about him. Not just that he kept to himself, but the strange intensity simmering under the surface that set him apart.

Perhaps it was also the hint of loneliness and sadness that drew her. Even with his brother and the other men he’d seemed like a contented outsider—a man who didn’t need anyone.

But everyone needed someone. No one could actually want to be alone.

Maybe he just didn’t know any better.

Anna felt a flicker of possibility break through the hurt. She hugged the puppy curled up in her lap to her chest, kissing the soft fur on his head. Maybe, like Squire, he only needed someone to give him a chance. Someone to give him a little affection.

By the next morning, Anna was feeling more like herself. She returned to her seat beside her brother Alan on the dais to break her fast.

Her pulse spiked each time someone walked in the room. She was ready to see him. She wanted to see whether she was right. When their eyes met for the first time, she was certain she would know whether he cared for her, whether cruelty was merely his way of keeping her at a distance—just like he did everyone else.

As the meal drew on and Arthur didn’t appear, Anna grew increasingly uneasy. When his brothers and the rest of the Campbells appeared, the fierce pounding in her chest took a sudden dive.

Unfortunately, her odd behavior had not gone unnoticed.

“He’s not here,” Alan said, putting his hand on hers.

She startled, jerking her gaze away from the entry. “Who’s not here?” But the hot flush that rose to her cheeks gave her away.

He squeezed her hand under his, gently. “Campbell.”

Obviously, he’d figured out the correct one.

She managed a wan smile, not bothering to feign ignorance. Her interest in the knight had not gone unnoticed by her overprotective brother. “I merely wished to ask him a favor. Squire has been moping around all morning, and I wondered if Sir Arthur might take him with him when he goes out riding this morning.”

Her brother gave her a look that suggested he was not fooled by her feeble excuse.

“You’ll have to find someone else to exercise your hound for a while.”

A sick feeling dropped in her chest, settling uneasily in her stomach. Her voice quivered. “What do you mean?”

She braced herself, but part of her already knew what Alan was going to say.

“Campbell left with Ewen to patrol the southern borders between the castles at Glassery and Duntrune—father suspects the MacDonalds are up to something again. He’ll be gone for days, probably weeks.”

Gone. He’s gone
.

How could he have left her without a word, after what they’d shared? Her chest constricted, tighter and tighter until she thought she would burst from the pressure.

“I see,” she whispered.

She was a fool. Because it felt special to her, she’d convinced herself it must be special to him. She’d known what he was, and still she’d convinced herself that maybe he was different.

Alan’s gaze narrowed. “Did something happen? Did he do something—”

She shook her head furiously. “Nothing. Nothing happened.”

Nothing significant. She drew her hand from under her brother’s and folded her arms over her belly. She wanted to curl up in a ball and fall apart, but she wouldn’t. He wasn’t worth it.

“What is he to you, Annie-love? Do you care for him? I thought you were doing a favor for Father.”

She hadn’t been aware that Alan knew of her unusual activities, but perhaps she shouldn’t have been surprised. With their grandfather’s age and their father’s illness, Alan had assumed more and more responsibilities. She wondered how much he knew. She suspected not all, or he wouldn’t be so calm.

“I was,” she assured him. Taking a deep breath, she forced the air back into her lungs. “He’s nothing to me,” she said, and meant it.

Her first impression had been correct: Arthur Campbell was a man with one foot out the door. He would never give her the stability that she craved. If she let him, he would only break her heart.

“You look like shite, Ranger. What the hell’s the matter with you?”

Arthur tried not to let his annoyance show, but the brash seafarer had an uncanny ability to hone in on a sore spot. There was nothing wrong with him, damn it. Nothing that a restful night of sleep wouldn’t cure.

But in the ten days since he’d left Dunstaffnage, he hadn’t had one night of peace. His dreams had been invaded by a lass with big blue eyes and honey-gold hair. A lass whose expression when she’d fled the barracks still haunted him.

She was always so damned happy. It was one of the things that had drawn him to her from the first. But he’d made her sad. Actually, she’d looked as if he’d crushed her. He hoped to hell she wasn’t harboring tender feelings for him. That would be foolish.
Very
foolish, he reminded himself.

His jaw hardened. Obviously, it wasn’t just his dreams she’d invaded but his thoughts as well. Anna MacDougall had gotten under his skin.

He didn’t understand why he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He’d left—what he always did when a woman started to think about more than the bedchamber—but this time it wasn’t working. If anything, it had made him more on edge. He was sure this irritating inability to focus would stop, if only he could see her and assure himself she was all right.

He should be able to push her out of his head. Focus on his task. And it infuriated him that he couldn’t.

But he sure as hell wasn’t going to explain any of this to MacSorley. He’d never hear the end of it.

“Good to see you too, Hawk.” He studied the big Islander in the moonlight, noticing the lines of strain etched on his face beneath the smudges of ash. In addition to blackened armor and dark plaids, the warriors of the Highland Guard darkened their skin, enabling them to blend in to the night and move stealthily through the shadows. “Perhaps I should be asking you the same question?”

The man standing beside Erik “Hawk” MacSorley made a sharp sound—reminiscent of a laugh, but with scorn rather than amusement. “Hawk’s wife has him by the bollocks. She’d due to have a child any day now, and he jumps at every sound, thinking it’s the damned messenger.” Lachlan MacRuairi, known by the war name of Viper among the Highland Guard, shook his head with disgust. “It’s bloody pathetic.”

Hawk grinned. “My wife can hold my bollocks anytime she wants. And we’ll see how calm you are when your time comes.”

A dark look came over MacRuairi’s face, his slitted, piercing gaze glowing like a wildcat’s in the moonlight. And people thought Arthur was eerie.

“It’ll be a cold day in Hades before that time comes. I’ve had a wife. I’d rather have my bollocks cut off and stuffed through my nose than have another.”

Of all the members of the Highland Guard, MacRuairi was the only one whom Arthur didn’t like—or trust. The West Highland descendant of the mighty Somerled, King of the Isles, had a black heart, a vicious temper, and a biting tongue. Like the cold-hearted snake from which his war name had derived, MacRuairi also had a deadly, silent strike.

From the first Arthur’s senses had flared, cautioning wariness. But while it didn’t take any unusual abilities to sense the anger emanating from MacRuairi—nay, rage—what bothered Arthur was the darkness that went with it. Darkness that had only grown deeper since the king’s wife, daughter, sister, and Bella MacDuff had been captured by the English on MacRuairi’s watch. Getting them back was all he cared about. He’d tried a few months back to free Bella from her cage hung high above Berwick Castle, but it proved an impossible task, even for the elite warriors of the Highland Guard. She’d been freed from her cruel prison recently, but no one knew where she was.

But MacRuairi had his uses. Aside from expertly wielding the two swords he wore crossed over his back, he could get in and out of anywhere. A lack of conscience also came in handy for unpleasant tasks. To win this war, they would all need to get their hands dirty. MacRuairi’s were just dirtier than most.

Only MacRuairi was more of an outsider in the Highland Guard than Arthur. Most of the men were wary of the hostile Islander—and rightly so. The leader of the Guard, Tor MacLeod, tolerated him, having come to some kind of understanding with his former blood enemy, but only William Gordon and MacSorley genuinely seemed to like him.

“Never say never, cousin,” MacSorley said. “Your problem was marrying the wrong woman. One of these days the right one will come along.” He paused and gave him a sly look. “If she hasn’t already.”

Arthur suspected MacSorley was referring to Bella MacDuff, Countess of Buchan. She’d taken an immediate dislike to the infamous cateran pirate. Arthur thought the dislike was mutual, but he hadn’t been around enough to know whether MacSorley spoke true.

But if he were MacSorley, he’d watch his back for the next few days. MacRuairi looked as if he wanted to kill him. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

MacSorley only grinned. “Such crude language. Could I possibly have hit a nerve, cousin?”

Not a few days. Arthur would watch his back for a week. MacRuairi looked ready to strike. “I’m just damned sick and tired of hearing about it. You’re like a priest trying to convert the pagans. Spread your poison about the joys of marriage somewhere else; I’m not interested.”

MacSorley’s wide grin only seemed to make his kinsman angrier.

Arthur couldn’t believe he was hearing the swaggering seafarer exalt the virtues of marriage and “the right woman.” MacSorley’s bigger-than-life personality and bold charm drew almost as many women as MacGregor’s pretty face. Hawk loved women and they loved him. Hard to think of him settling down with one. She had to be a stunner. The big Viking always had a bevy of bold beauties with lush figures at his command.