The Rainbow Years (25 page)
Authors: Rita Bradshaw
The car drove off amid much laughter and banter, but when everyone went back into the restaurant to collect their things, Bruce didn’t follow them. He wanted a few minutes to himself. He had been terribly conscious all day of one little person who should have been with them and the effort of being bright and cheerful for Amy’s sake had taken its toll. He walked across the road to a shop doorway and stood in the shadows. He took a small tin from his pocket and rolled himself a cigarette with the tobacco and papers it contained. Long gone were the days when he could afford to buy a packet ready made, he reflected soberly.
He stood undecided as to whether to go straight home or back into the restaurant but he really didn’t want company. His mother appeared with Milly, his grandparents and other sisters behind them. Terence O’Leary must have ordered a taxi because one soon drew up and they all piled in.
A taxi no less. His grandfather was aiming high the day but then he would like to make a show in view of Amy marrying into the Callendar family. He’d bet that had stuck in his granda’s craw when he had first heard the news. He wasn’t surprised his father hadn’t joined the crew in the taxi, though; his granda and father were barely on speaking terms these days. Neither were his mam and his da, if it came to it.
Mr and Mrs Price and Kitty were the next to emerge but as he watched them walk away down the street they all stopped at the corner, then Kitty began to walk back to the building they’d just left. ‘You go on,’ he heard her shout after her mother had called something. ‘I’ll catch you up. Put the kettle on if you get home before me, I’m dying for a cuppa.’
He watched the thin figure in the cornflower blue dress and straw hat disappear into the building and after a moment or two he stirred himself to walk across the road. He’d catch the tram home with his da, he decided. Likely his da was feeling a bit put out at his mam up and skedaddling with his grandparents. He had thought his brother’s death might bring his mam and da closer together but he’d seen no signs of it to date. Why his mam constantly rubbed his da’s nose in it he didn’t know, but there was barely a day went by lately when she didn’t remind him he was still only employed because of the strings Terence O’Leary pulled to make it so.
His mind preoccupied, he walked into the couple canoodling on the stairs leading up to the restaurant.
His shock at seeing his father and Kitty wrapped in each other’s arms was so absolute that for a moment he couldn’t move a muscle.They had sprung apart as he’d blundered into them and Kitty gasped, her hand going over her mouth.Then his father drew Kitty against him again, his arm round her waist.
‘Hello, lad,’ Ronald said steadily. ‘I thought you’d gone home.’
‘Bruce—’ When Kitty reached out to him Bruce recoiled so sharply he nearly fell backwards.
‘No, don’t. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe the pair of you would do this.’
‘You go on home, lass. Go on, it’ll be all right. Me and the lad have got some talking to do.’
His father was talking to Kitty as though he wasn’t there, Bruce thought numbly. He wasn’t even trying to hide what they had been about. And Kitty, Kitty of all people. She was almost one of the family, she had been Amy’s mam’s best friend.
He must have said Amy’s name because Kitty said quickly, ‘She doesn’t know, no one knows. And we didn’t plan for this to happen, Bruce. I swear it. It took us by surprise, didn’t it, Ron? Tell him.’
Ronald gently turned Kitty to face him. ‘Lass, don’t fret. You go on home and I’ll explain everything that needs to be explained. I’ll come round later so you’d better get ready to tell your mam and da, but we’ll do it together when I arrive. It’s time this was out in the open. I’d have done it weeks ago but for our Thomas.’
His father’s voice was softer than Bruce had ever heard it when directed at his mother, and it was this more than anything else that brought home the fact the affair was serious. Final.
‘Ron, you can’t, not with her just losing the bairn.’
‘No more ifs and buts, lass. We’re doing this my way from now on. I love you and I’m not ashamed of it.’
Bruce could hardly take in that it was his father talking like this. He watched as the pair of them looked at each other, a long look, and then Kitty passed him without saying anything more, Amy’s bouquet hanging limply in her hand. When she had disappeared out of the door, Ronald said, ‘Right, lad. Are you prepared to listen to my side of it or have you already got me hung, drawn and quartered? I’d like to explain if you’ll let me.’
‘I’ll listen.’
‘Come on then, it’s a nice evening, we’ll walk home.’
In the street Ronald didn’t begin talking immediately.They had walked as far as Bridge Street and the Wearmouth Bridge was in front of them before he said, ‘This hasn’t been going on years if that’s what you’re thinking. Just a few months, in fact. Since Christmas. I bumped into Kitty in the Old Market when I was looking for a few stocking fillers nice and cheap for Milly and the twins and—’ He stopped abruptly.
‘And Thomas.’
‘Aye, and Thomas.’ Ronald rubbed his hand across his mouth. ‘Anyway, she was loaded up with bits and pieces and it was a bitter day and she looked perished. I suggested we have a cup of tea somewhere before we went our separate ways. We went to that little café at the end of Coronation Street.’
Bruce made a sound deep in his throat. He didn’t care where they had drunk their tea.
Ronald must have understood because he spoke more quickly. ‘Amy’s mam and Kitty had been best pals since they could walk, I’ve known her all me life, but that day . . . Well, it was like I was seeing her for the first time. It . . . it happened just like that. I can’t explain it.’
He must have expected Bruce to say something because he was silent for a few moments. When they reached the bridge, Ronald stopped and took his son’s arm, forcing him to halt too. ‘I don’t expect you to condone it, lad, because if it was anyone else in my shoes I’d call them all the names under the sun. A married man with bairns, it’s not right. I know that. My only defence is that before Kitty and I got together I’d thought about throwing meself off this bridge more than once. Oh aye,’ he added as Bruce’s eyes shot to his, ‘I’m not joking, lad. Just that same afternoon I’d stared down at the water and thought how easy it’d be to just let it take me down. Let the bairns have their Christmas, I thought, and then . . .’
‘Da!’ Bruce jerked his arm away. ‘Flaming hell, Da.’
‘I’d had enough. Of your mam, your Granda O’Leary, all of it. Anyone looking at me and your mam would think we got on all right, wouldn’t they, eight bairns an’ all. But right from the day we was wed she’s had me touch her on sufferance.’ He swallowed deeply, then went on, ‘She wanted bairns but not the making of them if you understand my meaning.’
‘You shouldn’t be talking to me like this, Da.’
‘No, you’re right there but I want you to understand.You above anyone else. Not to condone but understand.The priest saying a few words over you and a piece of paper don’t make a marriage, lad. Remember that. I’m more married to Kitty right now than I’ve ever been to your mam, and I’m selfish enough to say to hell with the rest of the world from now on. I want to make Kitty happy.Your granda will take in your mam and the bairns, he’s been wanting me out of the hockey for years, let’s face it. And me and Kitty will take your gran with us, Kitty’s all for that.’
‘But . . . but Mam will never allow it. She won’t divorce you, you know how she feels about it. The Church—’
‘Aye, aye, the Church.’ Ronald started walking again and now Bruce had to hurry to keep up with him. ‘I don’t care about the Church, lad, nor the folk who fill the pews of a Sunday all pious and holy and then murder folk with their tongues come Monday. There’s some good ’uns among ’em, I know that, but likely they’ll be the ones who remember the bit about casting the first stone. But we’ll be far away from here anyway.’
‘But won’t Kitty want to be married?’
‘Aye, she does, but she wants me more. Funny that, ain’t it? And in my eyes we will be married. She’ll be Mrs Shawe and she’ll wear a wedding ring and no one will be any the wiser. But I’m going, lad.You finding us like that was a sign, like her getting that bouquet. If I don’t do it soon it’ll go wrong somehow. I feel it in my bones. And I couldn’t stand losing her. That’s it in a nutshell.’
Bruce felt numb. He knew he should plead on his mother’s behalf, talk to his da, try to persuade him to see reason. But the years of watching how it had been for his father had frozen his tongue. They were in Monkwearmouth before he said, ‘When?’
And his father replied, ‘Now, tonight. I’d have done it weeks ago but Kitty didn’t want to upset the apple cart with Amy getting wed.And then our Thomas went and she worried about that. I shan’t take nowt with me but a few clothes an’ such because it’s not mine to take. It’s your granda’s. She’s told me that often enough. Kitty will write to her mam and da when we’re settled somewhere, and Amy too I shouldn’t doubt. I shall say for you to have the address if ever you ask for it. I don’t expect anything, lad, but it’ll be there if you can see it in your heart to ask for it.’
They didn’t speak again the rest of the way home. When they reached Fulwell, Ronald’s steps became quicker, as though he couldn’t wait to get it over with. They passed Eva and Harriet and the twins with some of their friends in the back lane, and when they entered the house by the scullery, it was quiet. Bruce went straight upstairs and as he reached his room he heard his father begin to talk to his mother in the sitting room.
He sat down on his bed, wringing his hands between his legs. His stomach churned. What a day! What a midden of a day, he thought. It was all very well his da saying his mam and his sisters would go to his granda’s, but what if his mam had other ideas and wanted to stay put? His gran too? With his da’s going he’d be man of the house and he couldn’t just leave them all. His dream of moving away would never happen. He ran his hand through his hair. His da and Kitty. He still couldn’t take it in.
He heard something smash as the voices downstairs rose and then he heard his father leaving the sitting room and going in to his granny. A minute or two later there were footsteps on the stairs and then his father pushed open the bedroom door. Ronald was as white as a sheet and he carried a bulging cloth bag in one hand. Drops of blood were oozing from a cut on his temple. ‘I’m off, lad. Take care of yourself, all right?’
‘What happened to your head?’
‘It’s nowt, I didn’t dodge quick enough.’ Neither of them smiled. Ronald mopped at his forehead with a handkerchief. ‘I’m sorry, lad, but like I said, it’s this or the river and I’m not ready to go now, not after I’ve found what I’ve been looking for all me life. Watch out for your gran for me the next few days, there’s a good lad. I’ve told her I’ll send for her as soon as we’ve got a place; it’ll only be a day or two. I’ll hire a van, something, a lorry maybe, so she can travel in her bed. It’ll work out. I’ve told her it’ll work out all right. Just keep her spirits up till I come for her. All right, lad?’
They stared at each other but for the life of him Bruce couldn’t move. He stood, tense and unthinking, the numbness on him again. He didn’t want his father to go like this, he didn’t want him to go at all. Beyond that he couldn’t think.
‘I’ll be seeing you then.’ Ronald turned as if to make for the stairs but then swung round again and walked into the room. He dropped the bag and took his son into his arms in a way he hadn’t done since Bruce was a little boy. He hugged him hard and Bruce’s arms went round his father, holding him so tight it didn’t seem as if he would ever let him go. When finally they drew away from each other, both their faces were wet.
Then Ronald picked up the bag at his feet and walked out of the room without looking back. Moments later the front door banged and almost immediately Bruce heard his mother running up the stairs. She appeared in the doorway and said immediately, ‘Did you know? About him and that little madam?’
‘Course I didn’t know. Not till tonight.’
‘Kitty Price. Kitty Price of all people. I’ll be a laughing stock when word gets out it’s Kitty Price he’s gone off with.’
Bruce stared at his mother. She wasn’t bothered about his da going, not really, he thought with some amazement. It was more the fact he had gone off with another woman and Kitty in particular that was getting to her.
‘How long has it been going on? Do you know?’ May began to pace the room. ‘It doesn’t take two minutes for folk to get wind of something like this.When I think of how I’ve slaved to keep a decent home, he’s never come back to muck and grime like some I could name. Hot meal on the table and his shirts ironed every day.’
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