The Rainbow Maker's Tale (43 page)

“Really,” I replied without
feeling. It made no difference what I said out loud: if he was in
my head, he would know what I thought before I spoke. It was
something I had to resign myself to.

“Though you will not believe
me, I am sorry for what the others have done to you.”

Others? He was one of them!

A derisive snort broke out of
me in response to his apology. But it did not deter him.

“Some of the others have grown
more human – in the negative ways – than I ever realised before…”
He paused, reflecting. “I think if I had foreseen that I could have
stopped them.”

I shook my head, confused.

What was the point of this…?
Did they think that kindness would make me break where violence and
cruelty had failed?

It was the only thing I could
think of. At least he had the decency to admit that whatever they
were, they were not human. A moment later, logic caught up with me.
This one was already inside my head, so why would he need to show
me anything?

“I am not surprised that you
doubt me – from our behaviour I would expect nothing less – but –
”

“But what?” I cut him off –
already sick of their games. All I wanted was answers, or to be
left alone. “You want the same information as
them
! You are
no different at all: just a smiling mask covering an evil face!”
That’s if you even have a face.

My anger was uncontrolled and
vicious. But beneath it, I found – for once – that I did not want
to fight with these creatures. Had my desire to lash out at them
and make them feel my hurt gone? Or was it him… Something different
about
him
?

“I am not going away, Balik.
And I am sorry – because I am in your head – I have been since you
came out of the Family Quarter. You needed my protection.”

“Protection, huh?”
Well,
I’ve been beaten half-to-death by your friends, so I’d suggest your
protection doesn’t amount to much.

“I’m sorry,” he said,
again.

“Get out of my head,” I
muttered, turning away.

“I can’t do that Balik, because
if I do, you will betray Cassie and she’s not ready yet.”

Not ready?

“I know it is hard for you, but
you can trust me. Since they brought you across from the Family
Quarter I have been shielding your mind from the others – it’s the
only thing I’ve been able to do for you.”

I was being drawn in, but
couldn’t stop myself. “Shielding me?” I repeated his words.

A distant memory of believing
that the commander couldn’t hear my thoughts struggled to the
surface. I had thought that, hadn’t I. “Why would you do that – why
would you shield my thoughts from the others?”

“To help you – to help Cassie.
Her gifts protected you both from detection when you were in the
Family Quarter – you needed me when you came here.”

How did he know about Cassie?
A lucky guess, perhaps...
It sounded plausible, but it could
also be a trap. If they had guessed how Cassie was hiding from
them, wouldn’t they sound me out to confirm their suspicions?

“I am not lying to you.”

I huffed. “You’d be the first!
Or didn’t you know, everything for us was a lie?”

“Not everything was a lie. You
and Cassie are real – you must be because your mark changed for
her, and hers for you. You love each other.”

“It’s nice to know that the
only thing real in my life was something you can’t see, hear or
touch. That makes me feel much less insane.”

“Love is everything, even
though it sometimes feels unreal.”

I shook my head, ignoring the
shooting pain that the small movement caused. “You don’t know
anything about it.”

“I know more than you think.
Just as your friend Scarlett knew more – didn’t she?”

Scarlett?
I wasn’t
expecting that.

He nodded, hearing my surprise.
Still in my head, it seemed.

“I sent Scarlett, to help you
see
– you needed her to set you on the right path, Balik.
You might not trust me, and it’s good that you don’t – I would
expect nothing less – you are
exactly
what I wanted you to
be.”

Wanted me to be?
“I
don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t. And, I’m
sorry, because we will not have time to answer all your questions.
I have risked a lot in coming here already, but when I saw what was
happening to you, I had to do something. Cassie needs more time,
however, you were in danger too.”

I was completely lost. “What
is
happening?”

“Something that has never
happened before. Not in this system.”

“That’s not an answer,” I
pointed out.

“I know, but you will work it
out, Balik. You always do.”

“Not in here I won’t. They
don’t seem keen on
reflection time
.”

“I am working on that.”

“Yeah, well work faster.” I
said, leaning back against the wall, closing my eyes. “I’m not sure
how much longer I’ll last in here.”

“I will do everything I
can.”

“Thanks.” He was in my head,
could apparently pluck whatever he wanted from me, whilst the
others had struggled. Did that mean he was telling me the truth? Or
had the others only pretended to struggle – I couldn’t get my head
around to a logical answer.

“I am telling you the truth,
and if I can bring you and Cassie together, I will.”

I swallowed, not even daring to
hope that this might happen. I’d given up on everything but my
dreams for that happening. My captors hated me, and the only thing
worse than death, was where they had me now.

“They don’t hate you – mostly,
they fear the violence inside you.”

Yeah, well – they
should
.

“Some of them value it – you
know who they are – but even they cannot understand it fully,
because they are unable to feel what motivates it.”

Unable to curb my own
curiosity, I had to ask. “What do you think motivates it?”

“You personally – not all
humans, but certainly you, Balik – are compelled to fight as a
reaction to something highly positive. Your worst traits: lying,
violence, aggression, suspicion…are all motivated by your best.
Your capacity for love…”

I remained silent, my mind
swinging dangerously close to the edge again, erring between
suspicion and belief. My body was broken and my mind was following,
I could feel it.

This one was smart. He was
dangerously clever to begin testing me in my greatest area of
weakness. Pretending that he empathised with me, even admired my
human nature, when the others had shown only contempt. Whatever
these creatures were, they did not seem to doubt their superiority
over us.

The man nodded at me. It made
anger burn through my chest, filling my mouth with the bitter taste
of bile. Though he must have been aware of the effect his words had
on me, he continued in the same calm manner as before.

“I know what you think of us.
Although you do not fully understand, all of your guesses have been
close to the truth. And you are right – the others do think
themselves better than you: they believe that your individuality,
your human frailties make you weaker than us. In some ways they are
correct, but in others that assessment could not be further from
the truth. I do not believe –”

“Why?!” I demanded. “Why are
you telling me this instead of asking me questions?” My
interruption cut him off mid-sentence and so I ran with it. “Why do
you care whether I have any understanding of what you’re doing, or
not? I don’t need or want your sympathy – I don’t want you to tell
me about what it is to be human! I don’t believe that you or any of
the others would have the first idea about that.”

The man nodded, absorbing my
words, not showing any nervousness at my sudden outburst. Perhaps
he was confident that with my injuries and restraints I wouldn’t
attack him…or maybe he had no reason to fear me…

“You are correct – we are not
the same as you. That does not make your behaviour a mystery, to
me. The others cannot comprehend fully why you act the way you do
because they are not driven by hormones and emotions as you are.
There is only existence and logic and survival to them: their world
is one of protecting the collective and not the individual. It is
because of this they do not understand you. They know nothing of
what it is for a human – you – to love.”

Leaning back, I watched him
cautiously. He sat motionless on the small-framed chair, his eyes
boring through mine and deep into my heart. “You speak of
them
as though you are different, but you’re not…you’re all
the same, all connected.” I said finally. “You don’t have to deny
it. We saw through your illusions to see what we weren’t supposed
to. I know about The Collective.”

The man spread his hands apart
in a signal of agreement. “You have seen a lot,” he permitted, “but
nowhere near what your friend has seen of us.”

My tongue thickened in my mouth
at his allusion to Cassie’s ability – he seemed sure of what she
could do – the others hadn’t. There was no malice to his tone, but
I knew that meant nothing with these cold creatures. I swallowed
dryly and tried not to think why his observation was so true…tried
not to give him the information he no doubt craved.

“No!” He stood abruptly,
knocking the chair over.

At first I thought he might
attack me, then I realised his attention was focused on the door –
as if he’d just heard someone shout to him from the other side.

He moved closer now, leaning
down over me.

“Whatever you think I am, you
are wrong Balik. This is not what I wanted for you – any of you –
but it was too late – once I understood what drove you, it was too
late!”

I rocked away feeling
overpowered by the earnest in his face – unexpectedly animated and
real
. His words – not making any sense to me – poured over
one another in his rush to get them out. He was still speaking.

“Everything was directed
towards the cure…and human behaviour was so
primitive
on
many levels…that’s the only reason the testing was allowed to go
ahead on another sentient being…”

It wasn’t even half a story,
just disconnected sentences. Nothing made sense to me.

“So many of you were dying
every day: murder, war, disease, famine…everything was death…more
of you than we would ever need and so it was allowed…”

His words were almost
unconscious now, as though he were not fully aware I was still
there. Short, stacatto phrases tumbled from his lips clipping the
conversation to a point I could not comprehend. I felt like I was
taking a confession from him, rather than being interrogated. For
all I had expected I genuinely could not understand how
this
would get them closer to Cassie.

“Some of the elements – those
like you – became aware, and of course still nothing was working,
so we were going to abandon the Earth zone – leave the failed
project and move on as we had done before – but then – ”

In the same moment that he
broke off his head flicked up, his eyes wide – part fearful, part
surprised it seemed – and he glanced towards the door.

What had he sensed? What
more did he have to say?
The two conflicting questions shoved
against one another, demanding attention, though neither would be
answered. Not by me, at least.

He straightened and stepped
away from me, just as the door slid open. Two guards burst in,
flanking a third familiar figure. The commander strode into the
space, addressing my interviewer silently. His expression was
almost gleeful – if such a soulless face as his could truly convey
emotion – and when his eyes met mine, I saw satisfaction in his
smile.

“This is not acceptable!” My
mystery visitor complained, speaking aloud, his voice calm but his
words tense.

The commander was obviously
surprised – no doubt at being addressed verbally – and he glanced
briefly between us, confusion registering on his face before being
swiftly erased.

“It has been decided by the
others,” the commander replied politely, reinforcing the other
man’s more senior position. “The other Architects want to proceed
as normal now.”

My host looked back at me, his
eyes suddenly flat. “I’m sorry,” was all he said before sweeping
out of the room, leaving me with my usual companions.

When I looked at them my anger
returned. The hatred flooded back, filling every muscle and bone in
my body. Perhaps it had just been the other man after all – maybe
he was different – because I felt no awe or fascination for these
men
.

“Finally,” the commander
grinned, flexing his shoulders as he stepped towards me, “we get to
end this.”

He was right. There was nothing
else coming for me now except death. I could sense the finality of
it in the air of the empty room. For a moment it felt as though
something was missing; as if there had been some unseen energy
surrounding me, that had just been removed. The feeling passed and
I was alone once more with my enemies.

It would be an end…but I would
not go quietly. Rising to my feet, the chair fell to the ground.
With the last strength I had, I would fight them and hope that
Cassie had found some way to escape.

The commander smiled again, his
eyes glowing excitedly.

“This is what I was counting
on,” he said.

* * *

The commander stared down at
me, disgust plain in his eyes. My hair stuck to my cheek, matted
with sweat and blood; I could barely move now, everything ached so
much.

Please let the end come
soon
.

I was not pleading to this
beast – there was nothing good in him and I knew that – I think I
was begging my body to let go.

But I couldn’t escape from
here…not yet…a part of me still lived. I could not let go of
Cassie… It was not time yet. And so, I simply stared back at the
creature, my eyes as dead as his.