The Queen of Cool (4 page)

“
Now go get cleaned up,”
Lisa gave her a bottle of generic shampoo and soap. “I’ll find you
something to wear.”

Hiding the fact that she hadn’t eaten, Lo
picked up her plate to carry it to the sink.

“
You need to eat,” Lisa
said.

“
Maybe later,” Lo said. “I
ate a bunch with Larry just a little while ago.”

“
Okay, eating disorder
girl,” Lisa said. “I’m going to tell Mom.”

“
Yea, I’m sure she’ll stop
hanging around when she finds out.”

Unable stop herself, Lisa laughed at Lo’s
sick humor.

“
Go shower,” Lisa
said.

Lisa pushed her out of the kitchen. Lo went
up the stairs to the bathroom just off the landing. She pulled off
her shirt and panties and turned the water on in the claw-foot tub.
When the water was warm, she stepped in and pulled the curtain
around. Staring into space, she stood under the warm water. She’d
been there a while when she noticed the shower fixture.

They had the same shower head at their home
in River Crest.

She peeked into the soap dish to find her
favorite soap. A giant bottle of her brand of very expensive
shampoo hung in the shower caddy. Her special face soap sat next to
the shampoo. She opened the curtain to find her favorite fluffy
towels hanging in the rack.

Unsure of what this meant, she closed the
shower curtain and started cleaning off.

“
I found some clothes that
should fit,” Lisa yelled. “Jeans; some cute shirts; casual stuff
like that.”

Lo pulled the curtain aside.

“
They’re washed but brand
new, Lo,” Lisa said.

“
My favorite soap and
shampoo are in the shower,” Lo said.

“
The fancy stuff?” Lisa
said.

“
Check out the
towels.”

“
Wow,” Lisa
said.

“
Wow is right,” Lo
said.

“
Have you noticed how clean
it is?” Lisa asked. “I thought I’d be cleaning today, but it’s
cleaner than it ever was when we lived here with Mom.”

“
That’s not saying much,”
Lo said. “But you’re right.”

“
Puzzles, puzzles,” Lisa
said. “Hurry up. Larry just called to say he’s on Hemphill, and I
want to shower with the fancy stuff.”

Lo closed the curtain and finished
showering. Stepping out of the claw foot tub, she wrapped herself
in her favorite towels. They were scented with real lavender – her
most cherished luxury. She slipped on a pair of underwear and
jeans. She looked around for a bra, and saw one in her size hanging
on the door knob with a white starched shirt. A pair of her old
cowboy boots and some socks sat next to the door. She finished
getting dressed.

Digging in the bathroom cabinet, she found
her favorite brush and hair clips waiting for her. She brushed her
long blonde hair and put it back in a clip. She tucked her favorite
Smashbox lipgloss into the pocket of her jeans.

In the tight, steam-filled bathroom,
surrounded by the towels, shampoo, soap and new clothing, Lo never
felt more loved. She felt like Don was with her. She smiled at her
tired and drawn face in the dry circle she’d made in the foggy
mirror.

The door opened with a blast of cold air and
the sure knowledge that Don was gone.

She was alone.

She did her best to smile at Lisa and
retreated to her old bedroom. Behind the closed door, she cried
until the water stopped.

“
Hey!” Larry yelled from
downstairs. “There’s a cop here. Did someone take Lo’s
car?”

Lo wiped her face and went downstairs to
greet her brother and the police officer.

“
What happened to your
car?” Larry asked.

“
What exactly?” Lo
said.

Q

Sunday afternoon—1:45 p.m.
River Crest, Fort Worth

Days: 8

After taking what felt like an ice age to
file a police report on her car, Larry insisted on getting Lo
something to eat. Lisa and Larry argued back and forth until Lo
finally gave in. Larry drove them to Kincaid’s on Camp Bowie for
more burgers and milkshakes. Lo managed a chocolate milkshake. She
was so anxious to go home that she didn’t want to take the time to
eat anything else. Of course, Larry and Lisa had no problem
lingering. Since Lo didn’t have a car, she was forced to watch them
eat and gossip. Lo was about to pitch a fit when her siblings
finally got up to go.

Sitting between the car seats in the back of
Lisa’s SUV, Lo felt almost normal. Almost.

She looked down at her hand and realized how
lucky she was to be still wearing her wedding rings. Lo always wore
her wedding band but felt the big diamond engagement ring and
ten-year anniversary eternity band were too flashy. If she’d been
at the house when everything happened, she wouldn’t have these
rings now. Leaning against the seat, she closed her eyes and
remembered getting the engagement ring. Don had gotten her mother’s
permission, so she knew it was coming. But when the great Don Downs
got down on both knees to ask her to be his bride? She’d balled her
eyes out.

“
Oh crap,” Lisa
said.

Lo’s eyes popped open.

“
I don’t believe it,” Larry
said.

Lo’s house – Don’s house; their house – was
surrounded by fire trucks. Bright orange flames licked the side of
their white house. Part of the roof had already collapsed into the
second floor. The tree next to the house was burning like a roman
candle. The fire raged while water from multiple hoses poured into
the house. Shocked, Lisa pulled over at the side of the road.

A police officer came over to the SUV. Lisa
rolled down the window.

“
You can’t stay here,” the
policeman said. “Oh hey, Larry.”

“
When did it start?” Larry
leaned over Lisa to talk to the policeman.

“
We got the call about a
half hour ago,” the officer said.

“
Burning fast,” Larry
said.

“
The guys say it reeks of
kerosene,” the policeman said.

“
Guess Ms. Fitness Model
was ready to cash out.” A passing sheriff’s deputy said. He stopped
for a moment to assess the SUV and added, “Did you hear they
suspect her of killing poor old Donny? Serves him right for
marrying such a young, wild one.”

Jumping out of the SUV, Lisa slapped the
deputy across the face. Larry ran around the SUV to keep Lisa from
getting arrested. Lisa and Larry began screaming and gesturing to
the sheriff. In an effort to contain real violence, the police
officer stepped in front of the sheriff.

Lo took off from the back seat.

This was her chance to do what she couldn’t
at the cemetery.

Intent on throwing herself on the pyre of
her life, she raced toward her home. She heard Larry shout from
behind her and Lisa scream. She easily dodged the
one-too-many-doughnut-policemen standing around gossiping about her
and Don.

She was almost at the front door when a
man’s forearm went around her middle. He yanked her back. She
fought with everything inside her. She used every bit of her pain
and loss, all of her boxing training, and every ounce of strength
to get to the fire, but the man was too big, too strong. He dragged
her back. The harder she fought, the more he held on. When he set
her down at the street, she took off toward the house again.

She made it halfway down her walk when the
same strong arms threw her over his shoulder and carried her to an
ambulance. She was still fighting when the paramedic sedated her.
As she faded from consciousness, her intrusive rescuer bent over
the gurney.

“
Come on, Lo,” the fireman
said. “You’re a fighter. Hell, you beat the crap outta me more than
once. You can’t just give up.”

Q

CHAPTER THREE

Sunday night—9:45 p.m.

John Peter Smith Hospital Emergency Room,
Fort Worth

Days:
8

Afterwards, she couldn’t remember if they
had kissed once or had kissed for hours. All she remembered was
being encompassed by him. In his arms, she knew she was exactly
where she was supposed to be. She felt like she’d waited her whole
life to be right there, with him, forever.

“
Lo? That you?” Her mother
had yelled when she ran in the house.

“
Yes, Mom.”

Lo ran past the living room, up the stairs
and slammed the door into her room. She threw herself on her bed.
Lost in the overwhelming sensation, Lo stared at the ceiling for a
good while. There was a knock at her door.

“
Lorraine,” her mom said.
“Don Downs is here. He says he wants to marry you. What do you
think?”

“
I want to marry him,” Lo
said.

“
What about Manny
Rodriguez? I thought he was your boyfriend.”

“
Manny dumped me for Mindy
Sue right after Dad died,” Lo said.

“
He did?”

“
He did,” Lo said. “And
anyway, I never felt this way about him.”

“
What way?” her mom
said.

“
Like I belong with him,”
Lo said. “I’ve never felt that ever.”

Lo’s mother shifted uncomfortably.

“
He says he’ll help us out
and make sure Lisa goes to college,” her mom said. “But Lorraine,
you don’t have to marry him to take care of me. You should marry
someone you love. Your dad and me, we loved each other very much
and…”

“
I want to be with him. I
love him. I can’t explain it. I just do.”

“
This is not some crazy
thing, is it?”

“
Mom! I’m not Larry or
Lisa! I don’t do stupid stuff,” Lo said.

“
Yes, that’s right. You can
be a little impulsive though,” Mom said.

“
About food or shoes, but
not about people,” Lo said. “Name one time I’ve been that way about
a person.”

Lo’s mother blinked her eyes like a computer
light flickering while it was thinking.

“
I can’t think of one
time,” her mother said. “If you change your mind, you promise to
tell me.”

“
I promise,” Lo
said.

As her mother closed the door, Lo heard Lisa
ask:

“
What’s going
on?”

Someone was shaking her shoulder. Someone
was taking the memory away. Lo fought to stay there, on her bed,
overwhelmed by her first brush of love, but the shoulder shaker
wouldn’t let up. Lo opened her eyes.

“
What’s going on, Lo?” Lisa
whispered. Her head was inches from Lo’s ear. “They’re saying they
have to keep you for seventy-two hours because you tried to kill
yourself. I told them you’d never kill yourself.”

“
I can’t live without him.”
Drugged, Lo’s voice was more of a slur than syllables.

“
Lorraine
Downs. You
promised
me you’d never kill yourself. After
Mom hanged herself, you
promised
. You said
you’d never be that weak.”

“
I didn’t know. I didn’t
know.”

“
I’ll tell you what,” Lisa
said. “You’re going to tell them you wanted to get something from
the house. That fireman who saved you? He’s one of your training
clients. Andrew something or other.”

“
Carrera,” Lo
said.

“
He’s going to back you,”
Lisa said. “And you’re coming home with me.”

“
So I can get kicked out of
your house?”

“
We moved into Mom’s house
while you were out of it,” Lisa said. “They’re going to kick us out
tomorrow anyway. That Deputy I slapped told me just to be mean. He
didn’t know he was really helping me out. Ha ha. Loser.”

“
I want to die,” Lo said.
“I want to be with Don.”

“
If you say that one more
time,” Lisa said. “I will never speak to you again.
Ever.”

Hoping Lisa would go away, Lo closed her
eyes.

“
The doctor’s coming right
now,” Lisa said. “He’s going to give you meds to help you get
through this. You haven’t slept in a week. You’ll feel better when
you’re at home.”

“
My home burned down,” Lo
said.

“
You know what I mean,”
Lisa said. “Here he comes.”

Groggy from the medication, Lo fumbled her
way through the interview with the psychiatrist. The doctor
believed her because he wanted Lo to be all right. When they were
near the end, the doctor asked her about being a fitness model. Lo
made up something and hoped he’d go away.

He did.

A nurse appeared in his place. When Lo was
dressed, the nurse left her sitting on the bed. She returned with
her handbag.

“
I heard your accounts are
frozen,” the nurse said. “You have nothing.”

“
Don’s dead.” Lo’s eyes
misted.

“
Here.” the nurse pressed a
wad of bills into Lo’s hand.

“
I can’t,” Lo
said.

“
When I was in your shoes,
you and Don saved me with your foundation for widows,” the nurse
said. “You put me through nursing school. I can’t imagine what I’d
be doing to feed my boys if it wasn’t for you and Don.”

“
Please,” Lo said. “I can’t
repay you.”

“
I didn’t ask you to,” the
nurse said.

The nurse clasped Lo tight.

“
Don’t kill yourself, Lo,”
the nurse said into her ear. “It won’t bring him back.”