The Queen of Cool (35 page)

“
Thanks for coming,” she
said.

“
Donny told me about this
exhibit,” Sy said. “He said he wanted you to know how much he loved
you. Did it work?”

Lo felt her eyes fill. She lifted the
corners of her mouth in a kind of smile and he nodded. His hand
rubbed her upper back in a gesture that would not have been out of
place on a football field.

“
Why don’t you take a
look?” Lo asked. “There’s a painting in the corner that I’m sure
Don thought looked like you and Renee.”

He nodded. Lo noticed Justine and Franklin
Sale coming in her direction. Justine was Fort Worth’s most
notorious gossip. Lo was about to turn away from the couple when Sy
spoke.

“
Well hello, Justine. I
didn’t know you’d be here,” Sy held out his hand to the
blue-velvet-clad woman. The display lights reflected a flash of
light off her large diamond necklace. Lo swallowed hard at the
nausea the light brought. “Nice to see you Franklin.”

“
Lo dear,” Justine Sale
gave Lo a hug. “It’s so nice to see you out and around
again.”

The woman held her a little too close for
the relationship they’d had. Lo shifted back. Her eyes sought Lisa
or Larry or…

“
I see the rumors are
true,” Justine said. “Congratulations, Lo. You must be very
excited, Sy.”

“
For what, ma’am,” Sy said.
“This is Lo’s night, Lo’s gift from Donny.”

“
Why the baby, of course,”
Justine said.

“
What baby?” Sy asked. Lo
shifted uncomfortably.

“
How far along are you
dear?” Justine gave Lo a saccharine smile.

“
Would you excuse me for a
moment?” Lo asked.

As she was walking away, she heard Sy say:
“You think Lo’s baby is mine? Justine, honey, you’ve lost your
ever-loving mind.” Lo smirked. She heard Sy’s voice continue but
her attention shifted to her horrible shoes and her pounding head.
She looked to see if she could find a waiter to get a cup of
decaffeinated coffee.

Turning, she walked into a woman.

“
Oh I’m sorry, I wasn’t
looking…” Lo jerked back in horror. She’d walked right into her
mean bully of an English teacher, Jane Kincaid. “Mrs.
Kincaid!”

The woman smiled. Her makeup was not the
violent red and black of Lo’s youth. Though still black, her hair
looked as if a professional had cut it. Carrying a large leather
handbag, she wore a black designer pant suit and a peach silk
top.

“
How…?”

“
Don sent me tickets.” When
the horrible English teacher smiled, Lo realized she’d never seen
her smile.

“
But…?”

“
I never had a chance to
apologize to you, Lo,” the older woman said. “And thank
you.”

“
Thank me?”

Lo felt like the world was spinning around
her. For a brief moment, she wondered if she was still in the
hospital and she was hallucinating. A woman with short, gray hair
came up and put her arm around the evil English teacher. The women
smiled at each other and looked at Lo.

“
I haven’t seen Lorraine
since she got me fired from teaching,” the torturing English
teacher said.

“
You have a lot of catching
up to do,” the gray-haired woman said. “Why don’t I get us
something to eat?”

The demented English teacher nodded and the
other woman walked toward the buffet table.

“
Where’s your beret?” Lo
asked the only thing she could think to say.

“
You
are
still angry.” The older woman nodded. “Don told me you
weren’t likely to forget, let alone forgive.”

“
You’d have to say you were
sorry,” Lo said. “You were cruel and vicious and mean. You got the
other kids to ridicule me everywhere I went – even at the grocery
store. You mocked my mother’s death. How dare you show up here at
my fifteenth wedding anniversary celebration?”

“
I hurt you deeply at the
very moment you needed support,” Mrs. Kincaid said. “I apologized
to Don, of course, but I never quite got around to saying it to
you. I’ve never been sure how.”

“
Why are you here?” Lo
crossed her arms in front of her.

“
Don sent me tickets,” the
woman smiled. “I think he hoped we’d have a chance to talk. Of
course, I’m sure he thought he’d be here.”

“
He’s not,” Lo said. “You
should leave.”

Lo turned to leave but the woman moved in
front of her.

“
Are you going to mock
Don’s death too?” Lo asked. “Tell me how lucky he is to be dead and
rid of me. What about how I deserved to have my house burn down?
Are you going to say I’m pregnant by the Goat Man? Go ahead. Say
your vicious words then get the hell out of here. Don’t think I
won’t call security to throw your ass into the street.”

“
Okay, I deserve that,” she
said. “And no, I can’t imagine how you’re making it through without
Don. He’s not lucky to be rid of you. I didn’t know you were
pregnant. Congratulations. Don would be thrilled.”

She nodded. Lo squinted at her.

“
I’m sorry, Lo,” Jane
Kincaid said. “I was desperately unhappy when I knew you. You
blossomed, one summer, just blossomed. I was mad that I was so
unhappy and you were so happy. It didn’t seem fair. What I did to
you wasn’t fair or right either. I know you suffered because of me.
Don told me everything that happened.”

“
How did you know my
husband?” Lo asked.

“
After I… left teaching, I
went to paralegal school,” Jane said. “It was something I always
thought would be interesting. I applied for a job at Don’s firm. I
didn’t realize it was him. I always thought of you as Lorraine
Ames, not Lorraine Downs. He… I… It wasn’t easy but we came to an…
understanding. He told me he’d never tell you that we’d met. He
said you wouldn’t understand because you were still very hurt by my
actions.”

“
People call me Lolita to
this day,” Lo said. “I had to close my personal Facebook account
because of it.”

“
That’s awful,” Jane said.
“I’m sorry.”

Lo nodded and moved to leave.

“
He got me a job with
Jaden,” Jane said. “Don did.”

Lo stopped.

“
I have a lot to tell you,”
Jane nodded as if she’d made a decision on the spot. “Especially
after everything happened. I told Don some of it but…”

“
You have a lot to tell me
about…?” Lo asked.

“
Everything,” Jane said.
“You knew Marilyn, right?”

“
Don’s
secretary?”

“
She was my best friend,”
Jane said. “She helped me when…”

Jane’s eyes moved across the room to the
short gray-haired woman. The woman laughed at something Lisa said
at the buffet. Lisa gave Lo an “Are you okay?” look and Lo nodded.
The English teacher sighed.

“
I’m gay, Lorraine,” she
said. “I didn’t have the courage to do or say anything about it. My
life was a living hell. But, then, all of the sudden, I wasn’t
teaching anymore and…”

The woman shrugged.

“
Marilyn’s brother was
gay,” Jane said. “I met her at a PFLAG meeting, you know, Parents
and Family of Lesbians and Gay’s? I go with my son. She was… really
wonderful and became my best friend. And I can tell
you…”

Jane pulled Lo toward her.

“
She did not kill herself,”
Jane said. “She wouldn’t. Ever. She was terrified of going to hell
for… things her husband didn’t do.”

Lo nodded to encourage the woman.

“
I have her dairies,” Jane
said. “She gave them to me when Don died. We brought them
tonight.”

The woman slipped the large leather tote she
was carrying onto Lo’s arm.

“
You’ll find a lot of
answers to a lot of questions in there,” Jane nodded. “But there’s
one thing I never told Marilyn and certainly never told Don. But
you need to know.”

“
What’s that?” Lo
asked.

“
Jaden Sadler is in love
with you,” Jane said.

“
With me?” Lo shook her
head. “No, he’s in love with Alisha.”

“
No,” Jane gave an adamant
shake of her head. “I was his paralegal for ten years before
becoming his office manager. I quit after you moved the estate. I
only stayed to try to help you.”

“
But… Jaden? No,” Lo shook
her head.

“
He feels like Don betrayed
him by marrying you. He saw you first. That’s what he says. Like
you’re a handbag or a pair of shoes. He told Don that he wanted you
and Don stole you from him. I heard him say that more than
once.”

“
But Alisha…?” Lo
started.

“
Was to make you jealous,”
Jane said. “Jaden’s not right in the head. He thought when Don
died, you would rely on him and he would finally have a chance with
you.”

“
Lo,” Alisha called. Lo
looked toward the sound. She and Rick were standing in front of one
of the paintings, talking to an old friend. Alisha waved for her to
come over.

“
I should go,” Lo said. “I
need to mingle or people will notice.”

“
He’s furious that you
moved Don’s estate,” Jane said. “He’s even madder that you’re
pregnant. Who do you think started the rumor about you and
Sy?”

“
Jaden?”

“
Who else?” Jane shook her
head and pointed to her temple. “He’s not right in the
head.”

“
Lo!” Alisha called
again.

“
I need to go,” Lo said.
“Thank you. I think.”

“
No Lo,” the older woman
said. “Thank you. If I hadn’t gotten fired, I might have lived my
whole life in that misery. I would never have gone to paralegal
school. I never would have divorced my husband. I never would have
come out or met Ellen or… You made my life worth
living.”

Lo squeezed the woman’s arm and started
toward Alisha. Jane trotted around her again.

“
You have to be really
careful,” Jane said.

“
What?”

“
That’s what all this is
about. Your house burning down, Marilyn, the Feds, everything,”
Jane said. “He thinks that if he takes everything from you, you’ll
have to come to him.”

“
But…”

“
Just watch out,” Jane
said. “He will kill you rather than see you with someone
else.”

Q

CHAPTER TWENTY

Three and a half weeks later

Wednesday morning—10:15 a.m.

Lake Worth, Texas

Days: 181

Lo carried her tea cup into the living room
and sat down near the windows overlooking Lake Worth. Henry Downs’
little retreat turned out to be a three-bedroom house next to the
water. She’d never been here when Don was alive. Nothing could get
her to come up here. Now, she had no other choice.

After she’d checked herself out of the
hospital to attend the art museum event, her family put their
collective foot down. The world was too dangerous for Lo. She
needed to be tucked away somewhere safe. Anyone who knew Lo would
know she was terrified of the Lake Worth Goat Man and never went up
here. To everyone else, she was out of sight and, hopefully, out of
mind. The house made sense. Mutt and Yazmin had installed her in
here after the anniversary celebration.

She had no car, no radio, no credit cards,
no phone, no television, and no money. When she’d agreed to the
plan, Lo figured she would kill herself to be with Don. But Yazmin
wouldn’t leave until she took her meds and went to bed. With Yazmin
keeping watch, she’d slept for two days.

When Mutt returned with groceries, she felt
a tiny bit stronger. Yazmin and Mutt helped her cut off the long
blonde hair that Don had loved so very much and colored her hair
jet black. For the first time in her life, she had short dark hair.
She barely recognized herself. Because Yazmin and Lo were almost
never apart, Mutt took Yazmin home to protect them both.

Lo was alone.

Every morning and evening, she walked to a
free Wi-Fi hot spot and checked in with Manny via an ancient
laptop. A couple of times a week, he was there waiting for her. He
brought her notes from the girls, underwear, and presents from
town. But most of the time, she left him messages via his Twitter
account. In the depths of night, Yazmin and Truman took the back
roads through White Settlement to check on her once a week.

The days passed without memory. As her head
injury healed, she ventured out of the house. After dark, when no
one would notice her, she took long, aimless walks along the water.
Near the end of the third week, she found an old rowing skiff in
the boathouse. Before dawn, when people were sleeping, she put the
skiff on the water and rowed until the horizon brightened.

On her first night alone in the house, she’d
found one of Don’s empty journals, a fountain tip pen, and some ink
in the room where she was sleeping. To her surprise, she filled
page after page with her thoughts, feelings, and memories. She’d
already filled the book she found. Yazmin had brought three more
the last time she’d come.

Like the journal and fountain tip pen, the
house had lovely reminders of Don. There were photos of Don as a
child. She’d picked this room to sleep in because there were
pictures of Don, Lo, and the girls on the walls. She found a few
pairs of his jeans in the closet and his shirts in the bureau
drawers. Having no clothing of her own, she took to wearing his
clothes. She folded the jeans band down and the hem up so that she
didn’t trip. Just today, she had to unfold the jeans band to create
room for her expanding belly.