The Quantum Objective (24 page)

What’s happening? This couldn’t happen. We’re supposed to be winning here.
‘Please don’t leave again.’ Galen wasn’t crying. His pain looked too big for that. Perun clasped his son close. Beth covered her face with shaking hands and sank to her knees. Khoen’s presence touched her though he hadn’t moved an inch. She could feel him reaching around his jealousy, trying to comfort her grief for his rival. She knew Perun wouldn’t come back. The thought of Galen’s loss closed her throat.
‘I’ll be nearby.’ Perun’s cheek rested on Galen’s head. ‘I sought my purpose my whole life and prepared for its arrival. I had not expected it so soon, nor in this form. But life is not suited to expectation. It is suited only to acceptance of the moment. I’m astonished by all that you are, my son. You manifest peace in a way I could never hope to learn. Giving harmony to mind, body and spirit may be your purpose.’
‘But you’re afraid. I can feel it.’ Galen thrust the words at him. Beth desperately wanted to cover her ears but that required uncovering her eyes. She couldn’t risk it.
‘Of course. I’m human. But as you so sagely pointed out, we like to be brave. Makes us feel all grown up.’ Perun smiled at him. ‘You don’t have to kill my fear for me. I must control it myself. Use yours gifts as you’ve been asked. I will do my part from within the circle.’
Beth wondered how you willed your own annihilation at the cellular level. She gulped down air and wondered if she’d ever know real bravery. Strength born not of anger or fear, but peace. She wondered if Christ himself had trembled before the cross. She cracked apart her fingers and braced herself for what was to come.
Decker had his arms wrapped around an ashen Mimi. The circle of death and rebirth had formed once more, heads bowed as though in prayer. Rana started to hum then sing softly. Her bowed head lifted and then fell back.
Beth wondered for a moment if they should have done this in the sunshine, but remembered the global clamour for their location. When nothing happened, she lowered her hands further, focus fixed on Perun, standing so still. His eyes suddenly opened to capture her gaze, their sweet green awash with an unrequited devotion that broke Beth’s heart. The precious moments of shared affection, first love, laughter and loss lit clear in her mind. His eyes flashed farewell. Then she remembered the rainbow bouquet he’d gifted her before she knew him, and a silent downburst of tears soaked her.
‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’ She whispered uselessly and pressed her hands into her stomach.
Then she gasped as Rana’s song changed. It was no longer musical. The sounds she made were so peculiar it took Beth a second to grasp they were coming from her at all. She grew brighter each second as her body glowed with light and heat. The spiking temperature dried Beth’s tears and shoved her backwards. She crawled behind a fallen chair and saw Decker flip the coffee table to push Mimi behind it. The sounds were mechanical; or were they electronic? There were odd chirps and clicks overlaid with buzzing and the low boom of a gong.
Perun closed his eyes and his body began to shake. He crossed his arms over his chest and his head dropped, the trembling so pronounced that for a moment she thought he’d fall. He didn’t.
It was as though the noise itself was holding him up. The heat abated and Beth shielded her eyes with her hands as she emerged from her hiding place. Tears poured down Galen’s cheeks though his features remained calm and Beth knew the change was underway, Perun had gone and someone else was taking his place.
Perun’s clothing altered as the figure inside grew to fill the cloth and tear beyond it. Taller and taller, Beth gaped as the shaking form took shape, every fibre of her being tensed in anticipation of…what? Perun had said this life was not suited to expectations. Beth didn’t know what to expect of the face of the Creator. The clicking slowed, the heat was gone and Rana opened her violet eyes to look up at him.
Before them stood a slim giant. His skin was patterned in the familiar honeycomb, hair fell to his waist in soft mahogany waves. His head remained bowed as the last shudders left his body.
The silence was complete. Avireri slowly lifted his face and took in his audience. Every human in the room gasped.

Her mind spun like a muddy wheel. Avireri was a boy. A giant boy, but a boy nonetheless; at least his body had taken such form. Surely it reflected something of his essence?
His delicate, outsized features were almost feminine; he looked about sixteen. Patterned skin cleared at the inverted triangle around his eyes and mouth. A narrow line of shimmery blue feathers marked the bridge of his nose and fanned out against the centre of his forehead, flicking jewelled light at them as he looked around. Fierce golden eyes held a depth of knowledge and emotion beyond her ability to grasp.
He smiled.
‘There is nothing better than an anomaly in action.’ His voice was smooth and warm as a balmy breeze.
Beth’s gaze flicked to Rana and the others. They didn’t appear to have a ready response either. His smile widened and he lifted long fingers to Rana’s face.
‘So unexpected. It is interesting to see where your deviance will lead.’
Is he mixing his tenses by accident? Does he see the future?
He turned his head to Beth and her heart quaked before she could rally her courage. He stepped towards her and bent low to bring his golden gaze level with hers; it filled her vision. His irises shone as though cloaking the sun and awe poured through her. She wrestled down her wonder, worried it would blind her. She suspected her soul was being dazzled, like a Mormon in Vegas.
A low rumble vibrated through her bones and she blinked. He was laughing at her. There was no noise, but she felt it. She stepped back and saw the twinkle in his eyes.
‘Gia did extraordinary work, by any standards. Even her mistakes are reaping rewards.’
Beth gasped at her mother’s name.
‘You did not think the credit was all yours, did you? Your strength of mind was gifted to you. It is a gift she couldn’t afford to give away, but she did it anyway, easily. Her generosity of spirit is something you shall develop, for it is the route to your destiny.’
He straightened. ‘I cannot tell the future beyond a certain point. Uncertainty is a core value that cannot be bypassed. However, I can see that you are more than your parts indicate; the effect of your existence reaches far beyond Tela.’
He tilted his head, studying her so intently she shifted. ‘Your questions are larger than you know, Elizabeth. You will not always enjoy the fruits of your curiosity, but you will be unable to resist.
So it is for every Eve.
She represents disobedience, intelligence and ambition within the All. She is “the other”. The first divergence that enables self-awareness. The rule-breaker, original sinner, seaker of knowledge and change.
You carry the spirit of Eve and are destined to use that power in ways yet unknowable.’
He brushed Rana's hexagonal scar. The skin over the crystal changed to a shimmering purple. She looked like she had a jewel embedded in her forehead.
‘It will help.’
He turned to Galen and cupped the top of his head with the curve of his palm and brushed a huge thumb across his forehead. Galen's eyes closed and he slipped to the floor unconscious. Beth rushed to his aid with a small cry. She shot Avireri a fierce look. He nodded.
‘He will be fine, Mother. Let him sleep a little. It is time for Alamgir. He is by.’ He grinned wide then, filling Beth with both deep relief and a jab of concern. Mischief, anticipation and excitement blazed in those sparkling eyes.
‘You’re leaving? Will that affect us…humans?’ Khoen said.
‘I am in you, as you are in me; but now that I am returned, evolution will adjust. The process will remain, but the drive will differ.
As beginners, your awareness will continue on from this matter-space and assimilate a non-matter perspective. Endeavour to maximise your experience here by noticing it fully while you can, otherwise you will not move beyond this material device. You have far to go, but have circumvented so much so quickly, your progress will shock the Watchers. I wonder if even the Apex is beyond your reach.’ His mouth twitched and Beth could feel the mischief bubbling under his words.
She was certain then that he was not God, if there were such a thing. He had knowledge and experience beyond imagining, but not the wisdom associated with her concept of a divine all-powerful One.
He smiled at her like a father, which was weird.
‘Lesson number one Nāga, the wisdom of others is impossible to judge. The God you seek…’ he sighed. ‘Your concept of God is limited by your perspective. You have much work to do if you are to even glimpse a useful part of what God is. It is not beyond your grasp, you just need to open your self wide enough to split your limits.’
His eyes were solemn now as he took three measured steps away from them and fell backwards, but never hit the floor. Vanished.
*
Beth clutched Galen's sleeping form, reluctant to look up. A deep ache swelled, then passed to leave a hollow listlessness. She stroked Galen’s hair and eventually lifted her gaze to Khoen. His head and shoulders were bowed. Decker and Mimi had slumped to the floor. Only Rana stood ramrod straight, eyes closed. Was it a trick of the light or did she seem a little smaller? Were the effects of his departure kicking in? Did all life-forms around the world feel a little depressed or was it just them?
‘I too will go now.’ Rana broke the silence.
‘What? Now?’ Kade groaned.
Where to?’ Khoen said.
‘There is unfinished business that requires my attention.’ Rana looked at her mother, for the first time seeking her approval. Beth wasn’t sure she could take much more.
‘When will you be back? Twenty minutes or twenty years?’
Her exhaustion deepened at the thought. What will you be when you return? Will I know you?
Yes, she thought, I’ll always know you. She laid Galen’s head down and approached Rana with a stiff gait. The last twenty-four hours felt like a year and every part of her screamed for a lie down.
Her palm cupped Rana’s face and the purple hexagon winked light at her like a third eye.
‘You amaze me. You always have, even when you made me crazy. In you I see a shooting star – bright, beautiful and completely out of control. I haven’t been a mother to you. You never seemed to need or want that from me. I was never any use to you after your birth, until today; maybe that’s enough.’ Beth smiled. ‘I hope you’ll return soon, so that I may know you.’ She pushed her arms around Rana’s waist and squeezed with every ounce of gratitude for this opportunity to show her imperfect love. It was a chance she’d thought she’d lost.
‘I’ll be back. Didn’t you hear? We have much to do. As favoured as you are, you need me to get you to your destiny, as much as I need you to fulfil mine. Our fates are entwined in the same cord and we have just started the ascent to Apex.’
Beth couldn’t help the pump of curiousity that shot her gaze to Rana’s. What is Apex?
Rana stepped back and smiled at the group. ‘Lift your souls from the floor and dance. You…We have escaped extinction. It is now time to evolve down our own path. We must prepare.’
‘What does that mean?’ Beth croaked, her lungs anticipating her daughter’s disappearance.
‘When sleeping beauty wakes, he will explain.’ Rana nodded at Galen. She lifted a hand to Kade. He did a double-take.
‘You coming or not?’
His mouth fell open. She smiled and a chuckle bubbled past her lips. He swallowed and slowly put his hand in hers. Her fingers enclosed his fist entirely. He looked like a child, despite her shrinking frame.
Rana waved her fingers; they disappeared.
The vanishing acts were getting on Beth’s very last nerve.
‘Can she do that? That can’t be right?’ Mimi said to the empty space they’d left behind.
‘I don’t think there are any more rules.’ Beth’s shock was already fading. How quickly the mind adapts to the impossible. She turned to Khoen, but he was already moving.
‘Let’s get him out of here,’ he scooped Galen up. ‘We’ll regroup in three days. I suggest we all get some rest. There’s no telling what’s ahead.’
‘What do I report?’ Decker stood and pulled Mimi to her feet.
‘Whatever you like, just keep everyone away from us for now,’ Beth said, ‘we’ll run through a strategy when we meet.’
Decker nodded, his arm propping Mimi up.
‘Are you going to be ok?’
‘Sure,’ Mimi mumbled, ‘nothing seventy-three Margaritas won’t solve. How can being saved feel this…’ She pulled a face that made Beth smile.
‘His departure has weighted us with greater freedom, which is intimidating in a world where all possibilities now seem attainable. It’s time to grow up, personally and collectively.’
‘Lord God, you’re a killjoy, Honey B.’ Mimi groaned.
Beth laughed.
‘Quite the contrary – I think the party’s just beginning.’ She turned on her heel and followed Khoen’s long strides to the exit. Each step lightened her mood and firmed her resolve.

The ocean air fed a shiver through her clothes. She tucked her blanket tight under her chin and leaned further into the mound of cushions. Her glass of wine peaked through the folds and she took a sip. The sun was long gone and the soft lights on deck couldn’t dim the river of diamonds against the black velvet expanse. Their sparkle absorbed her, sucked her upwards so that she was sure she’d soon be able to knock them right out of deceitful existence.
She wondered where Rana was. What unimaginable trouble was she stirring? She lifted her glass in a silent toast.
‘He’s still out. When should we start to worry?’ Khoen sat down on the low table opposite and lifted his ghastly blue drink. The sight flashed the memory of it seeping into cream carpet, marking her control over him. She didn’t feel in control. Her body and mind felt freshly threshed and she was at rest now, waiting for the chaff to clear.
For the first time in her life, there was nothing to prove, nothing to run from, no problem to solve. It was a peculiar vacuum of non-performance.
‘I’m all worried out. He’ll wake when he’s ready.’ She lifted her chin to the stars, ‘I’ve never seen the Milky Way like this. Funny how it’s easy to see beautiful things as illusive, and ugliness as more real. Maybe it just reflects our unflagging sense of unworthiness. Always seeking to be better...a better daughter, mother, scientist, problem-solver. Maybe that’s why we’re convinced our existence in this place is real, not illusory. I’m tired of thinking of myself as less. It’s exhausting and I’m not sure I believe that anymore. Do you know that Carl Jung described spiritual growth as unfolding into wholeness?’
‘I didn’t know that. I assure you, Cariño, to me you are complete already.’
She rolled her eyes at him, but then blinked at his serious expression.
‘So what now?’ she said. ‘Which way does destiny lie?’
He shrugged, ‘I’m happy to be off the road to…how you say…manicomio - the crazy house. At least for now. Decker and the rest of the world won’t leave us for long.’
He looked at her and then took the drink from her hand. ‘You know where you need to start?’
Beth narrowed her eyes.
‘Where?’
‘Fun. When was the last time you had some fun, Beth?’ His fingers slipped through hers and he turned her palm to his mouth. She pulled away, but he kept hold of her fingers, eyes brimming with dark mischief. ‘I bet it was with me, no? We had fun together, for a while - you and I.’
Her heart thumped. His black brows wiggled and tugged a reluctant smile from her. She withdrew her hand and sidled away.
‘Don't even think about it lover-man. Nuh-huh. Not in this lifetime…nor the next.’
He sat forward, palm up in a pleading gesture she remembered only too well. The warmth of his charm brushed the chills away.
‘Why not? You know I'm not a bad guy - ’ he pouted at her expression. ‘Well, ok, I'm not the worst guy. Come on - it is between us, as before. We just need to dust off the cobwebs, no?
Beth let out a small laugh, ‘Cobwebs? Speak for yourself. Anyway, I'm never having sex ever again.’
Khoen laughed, then stopped at her look. ‘Why not?’
‘Hello? Did you see what I've had to deal with over the last fifteen years? Sex equals children equals trouble. I need a break. I can't take any more.’
He exploded with laughter.
‘What if I promise not to make any more babies?’
‘Pah! You think I trust you? You think I trust contraception? I'm not letting anybody else's DNA near me or my ovaries - especially not yours, Maestro. You are expressly forbidden to come near me.’ Beth stood, back straight, nose up. She threw him a haughty look and walked into the cabin.

*
Khoen resisted the plunge of disappointment and instead focused on the sway her hips as she disappeared. He looked up at the stars and swallowed the remains in his glass.
A bright light streaked across his vision and he wondered what he should wish for. He looked at the closed doors and realised his limbs were not frozen. He frowned and tested his toes and then his foot. A slow smile spread over his dark features and he looked up to the sky as though to check with the heavens. He rose to follow his destiny.
To be continued…