The Publicist (8 page)

He shook his head, “I’m not already there, Kate, I’m just in a position where it seems like I’m there. But you and I both know if I show Eddie a series of failed books, my ass will get canned or worse, I’ll start getting nothing but Bernie books.”

Kate had to laugh, but she hated the thought of Mac getting relegated to Bernie territory.

Mac turned to face her, “Pull your phone from your purse and hand it to me.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Mac held out his hand, “your phone, now.”

Obediently, Kate reached in her purse and handed it to him. She hesitated for a moment and almost pulled back but Mac wrapped his hand around hers, “Hand it over, Katie, I promise I won’t read all the emails you get from your dozens of boyfriends.”

“I don’t have….” Kate started and then caught herself, she knew better than to talk to Mac about her boyfriends, or lack thereof. A conversation like that wasn’t a good idea, especially with someone as disarming as Mac. “What are you going to do with it?” she finally asked.

Mac didn’t answer, but handed the phone to the driver. “When we stop, I need you to lock this in the trunk and don’t give it back to the lady till we’re headed home.”

“Yes, sir.” The driver said obediently.

Mac turned off the phone and handed it him, but not before locking the device. He knew Kate had a lot of media emails on there and well, better safe than sorry.

“I am going to take you out, Kate, and we’re going to have a great time and I don’t want you checking that damned thing all night like you usually do.”

“Mac, really, this isn’t necessary. Besides, I can only stay for one drink.”

Mac only smiled as they pulled up in front of the bar.

Carson’s was one of Mac’s favorite places in the city. It was small and unpretentious. They got out and Mac led her inside; it was dark and intimate. He selected a booth in the corner and immediately ordered their drinks, “Unless you’ve changed your drink preference?” he smiled, but Kate just nodded. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed this night and even more to her chagrin, she admitted that there wasn’t anyone else she’d rather be with right now than Mac. She tried to convince herself that it was because he understood the kind of day she’d had and what she had to tolerate with these authors, as well as the pressure she was under, but in her heart, Kate knew better. She was getting into dangerous territory and now with a book as big as
The Continued Promise
, she needed to keep her hormones, and everything else for that matter, in check.

“So tell me straight, Kate. Why are you here with me and not out with some hot guy?” Mac sipped on his beer, it was the first time Kate had seen him drink anything other than a martini.

“Well, mostly because you were the first one to ask.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Mac, I don’t think this is a good conversation for us to have. I mean, how would you feel if I asked you why you’re not home with your wife on a Friday night?”

“Touché, Katie.” Mac said, his face suddenly grim.

“Mac, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, but I can’t guarantee I will be able to answer it.”

“Fair enough. So, why don’t we ever see Carolyn at the office or at company functions?”

Mac studied his glass, it was a reasonable question and one he’d been asked more than a time or two, “She doesn’t like the New York scene,” he said finally, “she’d rather stay at home than sit at some stuffy party. I can’t really blame her. I don’t care for them much either.”

“Well, neither do I but doesn’t Edward get on you about showing up spouseless?”

“All the time,” Mac rolled his eyes. “He doesn’t like it that I don’t seem to have support at home to do my job, he says it shows weakness but then we both know Ed’s full of shit most of the time.”

“Why do you keep an apartment in the city, Mac?”

“Whoa, Katie my dear, what’s with all the questions?”

Mac was right. What the hell was she doing? Two glasses of champagne and half a Cosmo had gone straight to her head. She needed to rein it in.

“Sorry, you’re right. It’s none of my business.”

Mac’s eyes softened as he looked at Kate, and for the first time in a long time he wished he were single and able to scoop her up and carry her out of this bar and home to his bed. The carnal urge overtook him suddenly and he fought it off with every ounce of his resistance. Seeing someone at work had never boded well for him in the past. His last relationship, which had ended over a year ago, was a disaster. She’d wanted more, a lot more, a home, a wedding, and a bunch of kids and Mac couldn’t give her any of it. She’d been devastated and while he tried to fix the relationship, he realized he couldn’t, nor should he. If she really wanted those things, then he needed to let her go so she could find them. It was the least he could do. So they broke up, but it became too difficult to work together so she moved on. Mac hadn’t fallen in love, but he’d been in very deep like. The space she left when the affair ended had left him feeling hollow and more alone than he’d felt in a long time. Since then he’d had a lot of “offers” to see other women but had turned them all down, vying to never go down that emotionally charged road again. Until now. Until he started watching this smart, beautiful, and feisty publicist claw her way into a better position in the company. For years, Mac had passed her in the hall; they’d share some idle chatter but nothing more. Then it changed, gradually at first, but he found himself looking forward to seeing her come into the office and present at sales meetings, and then finding ways to bring a smile to her face.

“You seem lost in thought, Mac.” Kate finally said, trying to end the obvious silence between them.

When Mac didn’t respond, she continued, “Can I ask you one more question, Mac?”

He regarded her with caution and smiled, “Nothing ever good followed a request like that.” He sipped his beer.

“What’s your story? Why are you here with me instead of at home, with your wife?”

The word “wife” hung between them. Mac exhaled slowly, a breath of regret, and a cloud seemed to pass over them. Already Kate was sorry she’d let her Cosmo lead the conversation.

“My marriage….” he paused, not sure how much he should divulge to her. The picture was never pretty and he knew that the entire scene made him look less of a chivalrous guy than he’d hoped to portray. But something about Kate made him want to confess. Finally the words almost tumbled out: “My marriage is not a good one, but I’m not going to sit here and tell you that she doesn’t understand me because she does, probably better than anyone else ever has. Nor am I going to tell you that she’s an evil witch who fights with me all the time because she’s not. She’s probably one of the most kind and gentle people you’d ever want to meet. It just doesn’t work between us and hasn’t for a long time.”

Kate was startled at his revelation, “Then why do you stay, Mac, you must love her?”

“I love her, but I’m not in love with her. That ended years ago. It’s complicated, Kate but I stay because I have to, because leaving would kill her even though she and I haven’t been together or married in that sense in over twenty years.”

Kate felt her cheeks redden; this was far more information than she was comfortable with. How can two people stay in a relationship for over twenty years and not be intimate? And why in the world did he stay? The questions swirled through her mind, desperately wanting to be answered.

“Relationships are complicated,” she said finally, hoping to end the conversation and push it into a different direction.

“So what about you, Kate?” It was obvious Mac wasn’t going to let this go.

“What about me?”

Mac grinned, “It’s ok, we can change the topic. I’m just curious why you haven’t been snapped up yet.”

Kate looked over Mac’s shoulder at the painting that hung behind him on the wall. ‘Because I’m always attracted to the wrong men,’ she wanted to say. Her eyes found his again, “Just busy, Mac, you know, with work.”

“That’s an excuse and you know it.”

Kate shrugged, “It’s the truth, Mac. Very few men have the bandwidth to deal with a woman who has her own career.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Not really. I mean, it’s one thing to have a job, but this is my career and I intend on doing it for a long time. I’m also pretty damned good at it if I do say so myself and that kind of confidence is intimidating.”

“It’s not to me.” Mac said in almost a whisper. Where the hell did that come from, he wondered. But Kate, as classy as she was, only smiled, patted his arm and said, “Thanks Mac, but no offense, you don’t count, you’re married.” And with that, Mac understood his place in her life. As long as he was connected to someone in marriage, he’d never be connected to Kate in any other way than a professional one. For the second time that night Mac wished like hell that he was single.

Mac dropped Kate off at her apartment at one a.m. Her phone had been returned to her although Kate had already forgotten that he’d locked it in the trunk. The evening had been fun and while she hadn’t wanted it to end, Kate knew better than to close down the bar with him. But she’d seen another side to Mac that night, one she hadn’t expected. She assumed now from their conversation that the rumors were true. Mac was seeing other women. It’s likely that’s why he kept the apartment in the city. But the idea of Mac cheating on his wife didn’t disgust her as she expected it would. Whether it was the alcohol working its magic or her hormones ricocheting inside her body, she felt she almost understood him. He never said a negative word about his wife, which made him seem less deceitful somehow. “It didn’t work.” is what he had said, the why and how was still a mystery to her but at least she knew now what she was dealing with. Sort of. She still didn’t understand a lot of what MacDermott Ellis was about, but then, he was a mystery to most everyone else too. Mac let very little of his private life be known to anyone. He seldom talked about his boys and never talked about his wife.

Kate watched the car speed away and disappear into traffic. For whatever reason, she didn’t want to go inside yet. Instead, she pulled her coat around her to keep away the chill of the cold night air. She tried to calm her mind as it retraced the evening, wondering if she’d gone too far with her questions. That’s when it hit her. The reason she couldn’t move inside, and why she stayed on the sidewalk and stared at the car that had long since been swallowed up in the late night traffic.

Secretly, she hoped Mac would ask the driver to turn the sedan around.

.

Chapter Fourteen

“I can’t believe that loser Bernie did that to you,” Grace said, dipping her tea bag into her cup. They met at Zoe’s Shack and Coffee House just about every Sunday morning, except when Kate was traveling or Grace had a painting to finish. It was an eclectic place in the Village. On Saturday nights they’d highlight a local artist, during the week they’d invite authors and poets in to do readings. Occasionally Kate would secure Zoe’s for a local author or someone traveling to the area but not too often because the publicity department frowned on signings in anything other than a chain store. At their Sunday morning meetings Grace always brought her own tea bags and just asked for a cup of hot water. Kate would watch the servers, some of them puzzled, hand her friend the steaming cup. Grace didn’t trust coffee house tea bags. Besides, she had a preference: Spiced Green Tea. There was only one place in New York she could get it and Grace was always well-stocked. Kate never drank tea; a large latte with an extra shot and always non-fat milk was her drink of choice.

Kate sipped her coffee; it was just the jolt she needed to wake her up after spending a somewhat sleepless night tossing and turning. She didn’t dare tell Grace why she couldn’t sleep.

“I was horrified, Gracie, I swear I didn’t know what I was going to do.”

“So what happened?”

Kate hesitated before she answered, “Mac showed up with the books.”

Grace cocked her head, “Mac?” she said, letting his name hang in the air.

“He saved the day, Grace. Thank God he found some copies or my head would have been on the chopping block. I’m just glad it’s over.”

“And what did Mac want in return for saving the day?”

Kate took another sip of her latte, “Why do you always have to distrust Mac? He did a nice thing and then he took me out for a drink…” Kate regretted that last sentence as soon as it was out of her mouth. She was tired and confused and didn’t need to be descended upon by her best friend. Kate put her hand up, “Wait, before you start in on me about Mac, let me say that it was a perfectly chaste evening.”

“Nothing about Mac is ‘chaste’ Katie and you know it.”

“We had fun, it was nice to get to know him in that setting, especially since we’re going to be working closer together on that new book.”

Grace was silent, staring into her cup, “Kate, listen, I’m not trying to stir up trouble, I just want you to be aware of men like Mac. They are smooth and clever and will have you out of your panties before you even know what hit you and once he’s got you out of them, he’ll dump you like third period French.”