The Private Affairs Of Lady Jane Fielding (13 page)

‘I hope that in time, perhaps you will find me more favourably situated in your emotions.’

‘Oh, Matthew, you fool. You already are!’

Chapter 12

Monday 4
^th
October 1813

It has been some time since I last wrote of our private affairs and I shall state now — I am with child. Though a girl or boy, it remains to be seen. I have only just enlightened the gentlemen to my condition this day, and pray they do not become overly cautious with me: a situation both tiresome and dull to all and sundry.

I can report that Arthur recovered from his disastrous fall. Wicked though my sentiment may have been, I was initially disappointed by this. He has, however, not returned to Fielding since, and we have great assurance that he is most reluctant to do so. Apparently, his general attitude since his recovery has been singularly peculiar. The physician suggested that due to extensive blood loss from his fall through the glass, there has been some level of damage to his mind. I am not at all certain what this entails, but his movement is much less fluid and there has been a marked shift in his behaviour — quite often he is said to be in a state of confusion. For ourselves, there has been much benefit in his changed mental state. The scandalous behaviour in which he once so frequently indulged has been markedly reduced. Why, Jacob has not once been requested to visit London and sort out bother.

Here in Berkshire, we have happily continued the arrangement between Jacob, Matthew and myself, despite the threat of Arthur forcing Jacob to name him heir having largely passed. Our reasons for continuing the arrangement are simple. We do indeed want a son and Jacob cannot provide Fielding with one. More so, however, is the fact that the acts in which we frequently partake have taken me to the very heights of pleasure and joy, and I would simply be loath to end them.

I have always believed most ardently that God, in all his wisdom, created women with ingenious design, and the capacity for reaching almost impossible pinnacles of pleasure. Matthew, Jacob and I have indulged in much experimentation in our quest for an heir. It started most simply, Jacob taking his ease with me, and holding me when Matthew gave me his seed after. Though undoubtedly exciting and titillating, I wanted more, and I say with some embarrassment that I wondered if mayhap I could take both men at once. I loathed how Jacob and Matthew
had
to watch the other take their ease. One always waiting. Though they claimed it was no hardship, I wished to behold them both.

So I suggested something I still blush to admit. Whilst Matthew takes me and offers his seed to my womb, Jacob takes me otherwise, in that secret forbidden place.

There is nothing quite like awaiting the ministrations of my gentlemen of an evening, when the servants are abed and the children fast asleep. The anticipation draws dew to my quim as nothing else ever has.

They both enter my rooms, sometimes silent, other times laughing, but always dressed in nothing but dressing gowns. The candles flicker and they disrobe, as if in preparation for some bacchanalian revelry — which in a sense it is.

I draw them to me, their hands wild, searching and hard. I kiss whoever comes close to my mouth, and in return their lips pay homage to mine.

Soon, always too soon, I find myself astride Matthew, his phallus at the apex of my thighs. There he enters with a heady grunt. Not a moment later, I will feel the oiled length of my husband’s manhood nudge between the globes of my rear. It is always tight as he enters there, sometimes uncomfortable, but never for long. As my body loosens around my men, they begin a primal rhythm. The sound of flesh upon flesh echoes about my rooms, accompanied by a symphony of gentle moans and cries. It may sound fanciful to some, but during these times I feel worshiped like some archaic goddess. The men’s mouths are hot on my skin, and all too soon I find my womb tightening ready to reach gratification.

I could, and would, gladly retain this arrangement between myself, Matthew and Jacob for eternity. For I love them both, it’s true.

***

I realise that to some, our private affairs may seem sinful, wanton and lustful, and yet as I sit writing this narrative a child quickens in my womb, the hope and future of Fielding and everything it encompasses.

Matthew was unusually quiet when I disclosed news of my confinement to him. His eyes grew haunted and pained. ‘If it is a boy, you shall not require me any longer,’ he said.

I looked to my husband, and he verily laughed out loud. ‘Do you think we should thrust you into the knackers yard, like some lame old stallion?’ he mocked.

Matthew looked towards the garden. ‘You would be quite within your rights to do so, I should not be needed again if Jane bears a son.’

Jacob tutted, and slapped his cousin on the shoulder, in comfort or in mockery one can’t be quite sure. ‘That is where you are quite wrong, Matthew,’ he admonished. ‘For rest assured, good man, though we need but one
heir
, we most certainly are in want of
spares
.’

The End

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ISBN: 9780857991607

Title: The Private Affairs of Lady Jane Fielding

Copyright © 2014 by Viveka Portman

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