The Prince of Neither Here Nor There (6 page)

“Belinda!” Mr. Greenleaf smiled and indicated with a graceful flick of his hand that Belinda should speak.

“You know my name?” Belinda said, confused. In the three months she had been coming to chemistry, Mr. Bowley had never remembered her name. He’d called her Betty, Betina, Barbara but never Belinda.

“Of course.” Mr. Greenleaf smiled gently. “I make it a point to learn every one of my students’ names. Chemistry is …?”

Belinda flushed in the face of the concentrated power of the substitute’s smile. She rose from her seat and fiddled with her heavy black-rimmed glasses for a second then announced, “Chemistry is the science that deals with the composition and properties of substances and various elementary forms of matter.” Belinda said this with the utmost gravity. Eyes were rolled throughout the classroom.

Mr. Greenleaf nodded gravely in response. “Yes. Absolutely. That is a very good textbook definition of what chemistry is. Thank you, Belinda.” Belinda sat down, blushing furiously. “A little bit dry, though, don’t you think? What does chemistry mean to us?”

Chester could always be counted on to make a smartass comment. “It means total boredom!” This aroused a few snorts of laughter from Chester’s cronies. Chester always had an audience to confirm his brilliance in the form of a gang of oafish boys who’d grown large seemingly overnight. Chester grinned and cracked his knuckles loudly, eliciting another round of laughter.

“Chester.” Mr. Greenleaf’s voice cut through the laughter like a knife. His grey eyes latched onto the large boy’s and held them. “There are no boring subjects, only boring people.”
²⁷
He grinned and showed perfect white teeth. Though he was smiling, Mr. Greenleaf did not seem particularly amused. Something terrible and predatory in the smile made Brendan hope the substitute teacher never smiled that way at him. Indeed, even the thick-skinned Chester managed to realize he was in dangerous waters. Brendan’s nemesis visibly shrank back into his seat. Brendan couldn’t help feeling slightly gleeful. He turned to see if he could catch Kim’s eye but she was still focused on the teacher. The expression on her face was fierce.
If she was a cat, she’d be hissing right now!

After what seemed like an age, Mr. Greenleaf barked a sharp laugh. “Ha. Boring indeed.” The threat in his face was gone, replaced with an amused smirk. “Chemistry may seem boring on the surface, but that is only because you are looking at the surface.” He picked up a piece of white chalk and tossed it in the air. He caught the chalk, closing his hand over it completely. “Chemistry allows us to change the nature of things and make them”—he opened his hand to reveal that the chalk had changed colour from white to pink—”different.” The class gawped in silence.

He closed his hand again, opened it, and the chalk was blue. Again, Mr. Greenleaf closed his long fingers over the chalk. “We can unlock the secrets of matter and transform it into something altogether new and wonderful.” He opened his hand to reveal a hummingbird, sitting calmly in his palm. The hummingbird rose from Mr. Greenleaf’s hand and hovered for a few seconds, the hum of its tiny wings thrumming in the sudden hush of the room. Then it flitted once in a circle around the teacher’s head as if in salute and flashed out the open window into the sunshine. The class gasped and broke out into spontaneous applause, cheering and hooting.

Brendan sat with his mouth open. He was at the back of the class and therefore farthest from Mr. Greenleaf when he executed the amazing transformation. Brendan looked at Dmitri and saw that the smaller boy was smiling involuntarily and clapping his hands along with the rest.

“That was completely awesome!” Dmitri said brightly.

“Totally awesome,” Brendan corrected in a whisper. “No one says completely awesome.”

“Totally awesome, then,” Dmitri corrected himself with a sigh.

Brendan wasn’t so sure. He thought what he’d seen was kind of spooky and disturbing. He looked over at Kim and saw that she also was not impressed.

He turned back to the front of the class to find that Mr. Greenleaf was staring right at him. The teacher raised a dark, elegant eyebrow and smiled in a lopsided, knowing way as if he sensed Brendan’s discomfort. Brendan’s stomach turned over. His hand rose involuntarily to his chest. The itch over his heart seemed to intensify. Brendan felt a wave of dizziness sweep over him.

Mercifully, the door to the classroom burst open to reveal Ms. Abernathy, the vice-principal of RD Academy. Her green flannel trouser-suit was practically bristling with indignation. Her perma-frown
²⁸
was on full blast.

“What is going on in here?” Ms. Abernathy demanded. All noise ceased immediately, sucked into the black hole
²⁹
of Ms. Abernathy’s disapproval. The children stopped clapping and lay their hands on their desks. Some sat on their hands just to make sure they wouldn’t be incriminated. Others looked as though they would like to make their hands disappear altogether—anything to avoid detention under the baleful
³⁰
glare of Ms. Abernathy.

It never paid to incur the wrath of Ms. Abernathy. She was the second in command to Principal Singh who was a very jolly, easygoing sort of person. Ms. Abernathy handled all discipline. If a student crossed the line, that student ended up in her office and could suffer anything from writing lines, to extra assignments, to weeks of detention, or could even be expelled.

Her line of sight now rested squarely on the students of grade nine chemistry.

“I said … what is going on in here!”

“Uh …” Belinda started.

“UH is not a
word,
Miss Tindal! Write that out
one thousand
times! Have it on my desk tomorrow morning.”

Belinda gulped and fell silent. The rest of the class stared at their desktops and tried to find a way to exist without breathing.

“My dear Ms. Abernathy.” The warm tone of Mr. Greenleaf could not be more different from the harshness of the vice-principal’s voice. “I’m so glad you could come and look in on us.” He glided gracefully between the desks and placed his hand on Ms. Abernathy’s elbow. The VP’s face took on a blank, puzzled expression. “I’m so delighted to meet you!” Mr. Greenleaf added pleasantly. Ms. Abernathy looked down at the elegant hand of Mr. Greenleaf, pale on the green flannel of her suit jacket and then she looked up into those grey eyes. That look was her undoing.

She locked eyes with Mr. Greenleaf and he smiled a warm, lovely smile. Something happened then that no one in the class had ever seen before. Ms. Abernathy’s perma-frown seemed to waver and then melt away altogether. The corners of her mouth, so conditioned to dip downward, quivered, convulsed, and then, bit by torturous bit, turned upward. Ms. Abernathy, to the shock of the entire class, was smiling.

“Oh. I uh … oh.” Ms. Abernathy blushed and practically giggled.

“I’m sorry if the children were being noisy, but I must take responsibility for the hubbub.”

“You?” Ms. Abernathy said, bewildered.

“I’m afraid so. They were so excited by the ideas we were discussing that …” Mr. Greenleaf’s eyes swept the room and he continued, “they just couldn’t contain themselves.”

Ms. Abernathy seemed completely stymied by this idea, but another smile from Mr. Greenleaf seemed to stun her into acceptance. “Oh, I see. Well. I guess some enthusiasm for learning is a good thing.”

“Indeed, my dear Ms. Abernathy, indeed. Well put!” Mr. Greenleaf guided her to the door. “Well, this visit has been a treat. I’m sure you have many things to do.”

“Yes. Yes, of course, Mr. Greenleaf. Many things to do.”

“Don’t let us keep you,” he said and let her drift out the door. “One last thing. Miss Tindal needn’t do those lines at all, need she?”

Ms. Abernathy turned in the doorway and a hint of her old rancour flared in her eyes, but before it could take root, Mr. Greenleaf fixed her with another of his glacier-melting smiles and she stammered, grinning, “Of—of course not!”

“Fine! See you in the staff room for lunch then? Maybe we could have a cup of tea together?”

“Yes, that would be—” Her response was cut off when Mr. Greenleaf shut the door firmly. For a second or two she stood framed in the window of the door looking mildly confused. At last, she turned and wandered away with a look of pure mystification on her face.

Mr. Greenleaf turned to find the entire class staring at him with undisguised awe. He grinned and sketched a comical bow then glided smoothly back to the front of the class. “Chemistry is a wonderful discipline. Chemistry is in everything. It allows us to manipulate the very essence of the universe. All things are connected, and the study of these connections is what human beings call science. Shall we get down to business?” Mr. Greenleaf picked up the chemistry textbook from his desk and began leafing through it.

Brendan was as shocked as everyone else, but he felt something stirring inside him. He had never seen Mr. Greenleaf before, but he couldn’t help feeling that he recognized him from somewhere. What the teacher said resonated within him. He couldn’t help himself. He raised his hand. Mr. Greenleaf pointed at him and Brendan blurted, “How did you do that? With the chalk and the bird. How did you do it?”

Mr. Greenleaf looked up from the book. He fixed Brendan with his gaze and his mouth quirked into a sly, not unfriendly grin. “The world is full of surprises, Brendan. Things are not always what they seem. People are not always what they seem. The trick is to be open to seeing what is really there.” He winked.

Brendan sat with his mouth hanging open, unable to respond.

Mr. Greenleaf snapped the book shut and tossed it onto the desktop with a thud. “Valences! Who can tell me what they are?”

Belinda’s hand shot up immediately. The class commenced but Brendan hardly noticed. He was feeling strangely dizzy. The substitute teacher had made him feel disoriented and he couldn’t concentrate.

“Wake up!”

“Huh!?” Brendan blinked.

“Class is over,” Dmitri said. “Time to go. Didn’t you hear the bell?”

Brendan sighed with relief. He was more than happy to get out of that classroom.

²⁷
 While a nice sentiment, this statement is not true. There are many boring subjects. I would list them but then you would be bored.

²⁸
 A
perma-frown
is a facial feature that displays permanent disappointment and disdain that many persons develop in conjunction with their jobs. Usually it is manifested as a deep furrow between the eyebrows and perpetual turndown at the corners of the mouth. There are rumours of a special plastic surgery facility that specializes in providing management officials with the perma-frown but these rumours are unsubstantiated.

²⁹
 A
black hole
is not really a hole at all. It is a superdense sphere of matter that is the result of a star imploding. Gravity is so strong on the surface of the sphere that even light can be sucked into it. More tests will be required before it is known if disapproval would suffer the same fate.

³⁰
 
Baleful
is a word meaning evil or full of suffering. Not to be confused with baleful in the sense that “the barn is baleful,” that is to say full of hay bales. I doubt you would confuse the two as someone’s eyes could hardly shoot out bales of hay, but still ... it doesn’t pay to overestimate the intelligence of one’s audience.

OPINIONS

Brendan stood up and followed the flow of students out the door and into the crowded hall. He cast a glance back at Mr. Greenleaf, expecting the man to be watching him, but the substitute was leaning on his desk chatting with a gaggle of girls. Even Belinda, usually terminally shy outside of academic situations, was standing with the others, albeit at the back of the group. The gawky girl was obviously quite smitten with the new teacher just like every other female.

Well, not exactly every other female.
Kim slammed her chemistry book into her knapsack and stomped out of the room without a backward glance. “Let’s get outta here,” she grumbled as she walked past Brendan. Dmitri and Brendan shared a bewildered look, waited for Harold to catch up, and then followed Kim out the front door.

They caught up to her at the bike racks where she was tying her bag to her scooter with a bungee cord.

“What’s your problem?” Brendan demanded.

“I haven’t got a problem,” Kim snapped. Seeing the look on Brendan’s face, she sighed. “Don’t like that guy, that’s all. He bugs me. Don’t know why.”

Brendan got the feeling she wasn’t telling the whole story, but he didn’t press her. “Who wants to go to Papa Ceo’s for a slice?”

The suggestion was met with immediate approval from Dmitri and Kim, but Harold’s face fell. “I’m not supposed to eat things outside of mealtimes.”

Brendan sympathized. His own mum would flip if she found out he’d been eating pizza before dinner. She railed at him about eating greasy food making his acne worse.
How could it be any worse?

“You don’t have to eat anything,” Brendan insisted. “You can just have a diet pop … or a salad or something.”

Harold thought about it for a moment then nodded. Brendan was relieved. He didn’t care about the pizza, really. He just wanted to hear what the others had thought about the new teacher and his incredible chalk trick.

They set off across Queen’s Park Crescent by the Royal Ontario Museum. The giant weird crystal perched on top of the limestone building looked like an alien spaceship.
³¹
Many people didn’t like the new crystal but Brendan thought it was kind of cool. He’d been inside the structure on the night of the opening and had wandered all over inside. His father was playing in a jazz quartet for one of the parties, so while his dad played, he explored. The odd angles of the ceilings and walls had been really neat.

They turned away from the ROM and headed south to Hoskin Avenue. Brendan was about to broach the subject but Harold beat him to it.

“What do you think of this Greenleaf guy?” Harold asked. As he walked along, he was sketching in his book with a pencil. He was always drawing and he was quite talented. In a few strokes, a hummingbird appeared on the blank page. Brendan marvelled anew at Harold’s gift. He wished he had some comparable talent. If he did, he certainly hadn’t discovered it yet.